Javfly33

Sorry for that ? hope you are doing better. Personally, each time I would do a psychedelic in the past ~2 years, almost always I would fucking cry. Especially with 5-Meo-Dmt, this would be every * fucking* time Until It get to a point I said, "fuck it" , this is nonsense. It came to a point where I realized, that "emotional release" was more stories of the ego in how the ego was maintaining itself. The ego maintains itself in higher consciousness states by fucking crying like a victim. Duh. So it came a point I realized, this is it. Fuck this! I want truth. And so I realize I am creating this BS. You don't need healing, you don't need anything. But you have to realize this personally. It did take a fucking while to realize it. Ugh. What a fucking blessing I'm creating everything.

Don't be so immature.

@Peter Miklis Lol that must have been hard then. I Def not have condoms on my wallet. I just think that when I fuck it's pretty scheduled/planned so I just buy when I expect to fuck. I usually never liked or fantasize about Unexpected fucks in the bathroom of a club or something like that. Don't know what exactly was your situation

Don't worry my friend, everything is good. This reality is to have fun and share joy and love with yourself!

@Nahm Haha @Inliytened1 Do you think Doubting the absolute truth, is the way to forget and fall asleep to the illusion again? After all, since I am the truth, I can always delude myself and doubt myself, since nobody can verify I am it or not, since that would be projecting my authority to you guys. So with this "doubt" I am able to fall asleep again and belief that my mother is real. But it just takes some snap my fingers to realize I am in non duality creating everything . It's truly magical.

After my deep awakening I'm sometimes having thoughts arising in my mind such as: - "Well here I am, creating all this present moment" - "Here I am imagining my mother" (while I was talking to my mother) - "Fuck it who cares he's not real, doesn't matter what I reply to him" (when replying to a Reddit comment). Of course the Ego is saying it's God. But in a sense, if the Ego is conscious that it's God, then this is no lie. The ego is God. However, I wonder if this could create problems in my life. Could I develop some kind of serious mental illness, maybe schizophrenia or delusions of grandeur, if I start to really believe my mother is imaginary and I am creating her? But at the other hand ,If it's true, it's true. I mean I can "roll with it". No problem. I just want to know if this level of consciousness is maintanable at the level of the Ego, or if I will have to forget again that this is my dream and start to believe again that my mother is real. You know, for the sake of the play, and the sanity.

You are right. It's just a thought. That's not the real me.

You forget, obviously. You have forgotten it 1000 thousand times that you have dreamed reality. That's the only way you keep playing the game. Survival can only happen within illusion.

Then it's not problem than she has a girlfriend Lol @Peter Miklis Well If the problem about it is not having condoms then you are really stupid Lmao Also why her friends would be a problem. They are not their parents.

U sure That's logistics? Why she would agree to meet with you for a date if she has already a boyfriend tho?

+1 interested in this. I heard Leo talk about this a lot but I'm not sure what he really means with that word. @Leo Gura Do you mean having a place on your own and also that it's near where you meet for the date or near where she lives, for example? ?

I have started to contemplate seriously the idea of me being Absolute Truth and not existing anything or anyone outside of me, of this infinite present moment, and, to be honest, it doesn't have to be dramatic or even a bad thing. Even though at first it might seem "terrible" that there's no other people or realities being lived, once you really accept it it's actually amazing, because you are actually completely free, and you can also have fun with your imagined characters, parents, places, which I imagine to teach myself things. For example I just had a conversation with my mom about everything being perspectives and I was trying to teach her to accept that there might not be a material reality. Then I realized that I imagined all of that to actually help me to accept that actually my mother doesn't exist and is imaginary.

I do get anxious. But is more of an excitement mild fear anxiety of "lets do it, fuck it". It's not the "I'm so fucked, I can't do this" imparing anxiety. But again, if you have the latter kind of anxiety, you just won't take anything. The mind isn't stupid.

100ug of LSD is not a lot and shouldn't be overwhelming. Definetely do not push yourself if you are feeling very anxious before tripping. It took me dozens of very small doses of psychedelics before I felt comfortable to have a full trip again after my last uncomfortable/traumatic trip. Just take small enough where you feel comfortable and go little by little upping the dose

It is what it is. I mean life is all about surrender... Why not surrender also the illusion? Enlightment , an infinite surrender ?

So yesterday i absolutely awoken myself as God, the Creator of all of my dream. I become conscious there wasnt any other than me ever. It was shocking because i actually remembered that i had awoken when i was 19-20 years old when i took lsd some times for the first time, withouth knowing at all What was God/non duality etc, But i was in such a Bliss for almost over a year. The Avatar was just not conscious of What that state meant. But as Consciousness i was awake i let go of the identity of for over a year . It was so funny because after awakening and being in that no ego state for almost a year, the ego formed again and It started to create an ideology of "non duality", and of course as God i started to create Actualized, Mooji, The concept of "awareness", and of course i thought the absolute/God was something outside me that i had to "get". I also imagined 5-meo-dmt as breadcrump to remember again What i had forgotten. The astonishment when i realized that i created every detail of the dream is truly jawdropping. And What NOW?? Remember that i am always Now, Able to Create whatever i want! Whenever i start to fall away into the belief i am a thought, i just touch my hands, i say out loud I AM HERE I AM HERE, AWAKE! THIS is what's real, Truth! What do i create? I choose Love, Power and Joy, this is my dream ??️?

Enlightment is realizing you are not real, i just created you with my imagination. I AM creating this screen, and the ego is hallucinating the story your message came from an internet Server. The truth is, This iS What Is Real. EVERYTHING else is ego. I AM God. Lets change chapters of "self doubt" please. Time to create Joy, Power and Love.

And I don't approach her, I instantly feel bad/experience suffering of FOMO. Every PUA now will say "well that's your pain that motivates you to actually approach". But honestly I don't remember being warned I basically would become a slave to my sexual/attraction urges and I would sign a contract with my mind of receiving emotional suffering if I don't want to interact with a stranger in the middle of the street. Does this goes away when you start approaching on a regular basis and then you can let go some hotties from time to time without feeling TERRIBLE in the inside!!!??

???

Little by little brother ??

LOL

Yeah I think you are right. Women are bad men are good. Lol

@StarStruck how much have you done pick up?

@Emerald I get you, and I agree. But what I've done the last 2 years have all been introspection, psychedelics, and even therapy. But action, little, very little. So even though you have a point, I can guarantee you it's time for me to stop trying to "figure things out" from my bedroom, and trying to achieve "complete healing" in the 9th LSD trip. I actually need the opposite now. Action. But yeah, this doesn't meant that when I incorporate an habit of socializing and dating, I will stop doing inner work. I plan to still do it. Btw, why do you say they have very little to do with my relationship with women? What exactly is for you "my wound"? You know I talk already with a lot of people and I've become kind of tired of the word "self esteem". I mean it's just a word. For me, my problem or wound is basically an energy. Yeah, energy. I vibrate at lower levels of the Self Spiral. Hate/shame/unworthiness energy. So basically you just can't "figure it out" in the couch talking to a therapist. (Even though it can be part of the process). This energy is no joke. I suspect I heredate it from my father as a kind of "karmic energy". It requires a dramatic change (rising your vibration) in how you think, act, etc from the present moment. My whole ego identifies with vibrating at this energy (this is actually what my ego Is. I actually suspect that when I start having success with women and being confident, I will be very fucking close to Enlightment. Because the ego will not be able to re-form itself)

@StarStruck It's not that they are ruthless. Is that they are just not interested. And your behaviour when you are interested/attracted when you are not, differs a lot in how you treat people. Actually contemplate how you behave with girls you are attracted to Vs girls you aren't. Notice you do NOT behave in the same way!