Javfly33

@Leo Gura But 2 of them complemented my looks! So they lied or wtf You just killed me there idk what to believe anymore Lol.

@Leo Gura right. You are trying to say to me something along the lines as "there nothing outside" of this. The truth is this already. Btw brains do exist as an Imagination when we see them right? For example when you take an aspiring the aspiring WORKS WHY IT WORKS if brains do not exist? Is it because consciousness dreams the "meaning" of aspiring (the meaning is = it heals headaches) so IT CURES THE HEADACHE (the imaginary headache). Reality can't be this fucking crazy haha cmon man

Hehehe. If you close your eyes you just see another part of infinity? ?

Here's my theory: Insights and lessons from trips are still "delusions" but they are just more conscious/higher vibrations delusions Lol. And also, You have to take into account that you co-create reality (your ego and God), so for example when you develop confidence in relationships (for example) this confidence is as illusory and "not-truth" as the low confidence. Your ego starts to have more good feeling high confidence thoughts just because...fuck it does feel better. But that doesn't mean that high self esteem is "more true" than lower self esteem. They both are creations of the separate self or ego to survive and do shit in the dream. If you want truth, just be in no self. Everything else will be creation and more creation. So of course, if you are going to no matter what create stuff, why not create good stuff? You still haven't grasped how literal is the phrase "Reality is Imagination".

So mindfucky ?

I hope you didn't do anything stupid. (Physically violent or invasive) And I would be careful with the narrative of "she was ruthless, she hurt me, she was cruel". Contemplate that maybe your mind is playing games with you here. For example we can get hurt of eating one day bad food on a restaurant,but you just don't start to develop with emotional tension wound of shame and humiliation towards the manager of the resultant, even though he did physically hurt your guts that afternoon, and the intoxication could be linked to his "ruthless" selfish perspective on making money and not caring so much of the customer. Now apply this "neutral" not emotional perspective to that girl. Try to see that what you see as an emotional would that she produced, was actually your mind just playing games, not seeing reality clear, and then pointing the finger outside (projecting). Take care man, I tell you this because I've been THERE. And I say thanks to the universe some nights because I was lucky that by circumstances , I couldn't do what my mind wanted to do. But if I hadn't be that lucky that night, I had fucked up my life for good, hurt the life of a someone that didn't do anything wrong, and hurt somebody's family too. And all because your mind is fucked up. Is not the outside world. The outside world is how it is. It doesn't have anything to do with you. But your mind intertwines with it and wants to say all the time "it's me, it's me, it's because of me, me, me, me". Yeah, well. Be fucking careful next time. I hope you didn't get yourself into trouble, but try to be as serious as possible to heal yourself ASAP and try to remind yourself everytime it's not the outside world, it's your mind. You got this. You can do this. It probably won't be fast but it will be worth it.

I´ve been doing meditation on and off for the last 2-3 years. Also similar spiritual techniques to try to get into "altered states" of consciousness. What have happened yesterday in Kratom was very weird, what I think its important to say about Kratom is that while it does numbs emotions (and that´s why I certainly don´t recommend it for a daily consciouss life and clear view about yourself) and it relaxes yoursef, i wouldn´t say really that it decreases your brain activity per se. Kratom usually is very relaxing and one tends to think it decreases your mental chattering like a benzo would do, but definetely doesn´t do it in the common way of decreasing brain activity (decresing GABA) like benzos or similar drugs, because if i have an argument with other person while on kratom i become very active and usually more angry/pissed off than sober. Also I have a very light OCD, if I don´t watch myself I can get very pissed in Kratom in how the lights are turn on/turn off...etc This wouldn´t happen never on for example benzos or alcohol that just makes me dont give a shit and numb myself in all directions. The experience: Anyway, what happened yesterday is that I ingested a regular dose on Kratom and just went to watch the news, and then some time later I had dinner. After dinner I sit on my chair just listening to the silence waiting to get very sleepy like i usually like to do on Kratom. I fixed my position and my stomach did a sound, I imagine it was the sound of digesting the food. In that moment, I had such a powerful thoughts that just told me: - "Wait a moment, it´s so clear right now that I had 0 control about the body doing that sound right now, so I AM NOT THE BODY" - "If I am not the body who is directing this body?" - "Where exactly I am?" And finally... -"Well, right now I dont know where I am located." More than thoughts, this was just direct observations and feelings. I am putting them into words, but I didn´t think all of that in a self-inquiry way. I just felt them like a very clear/crisp observation of the present moment and my direct experience. Consciousness realized that being the body was just a believe, not a fact. So "I" stopped being the body. I would like to know if this is some kind of the classical "out of the body" experience that a lot of people talk about. I have never had one, and while yesterday was weird I wouldn´t say it resembles the intensity of some meditation experiences and one self-inquiry experience I had, but it has in common that in all of them the "I" inside me stop believing it was this body

I think reality is pure imagination. I think the city in which I was raised , I went to school, and lived my teenage years, was constructed by me. Literally. And it wasn't constructed in a weird manner, no. Each detail was intelligently designed. An example: The logo/icon of my city, is a Lion. In our culture, Lion is related with "Kings". My whole life I've been feeling like a victim, like a peasant. Precisely this city, I judged a lot the people who lived here. I was like scared of them. I moved out to other cities from 18 years old because I always thought "this city is not enough for me". Of course it was a defense mechanism of the ego. What I want to say anyway is that I was a victim, scared, feeling "separated" from this city. For example when I go out I would experience way more social anxiety here than in another city. Social anxiety stems from belief of difference/separation. This means I always felt very separated from this city. My theory is, I imagined that icon (the icon of the Lion precisely) to end the dream by realizing I am "The king", not the victim, of reality. (The King = I am God. I am so God I constructed my city, their buildings, everything, with my imagination and power) So while my teenage years I've been living like a victim, in my adulthood years (+30 onwards) I will be the most important person of my city, going completely full circle, loving a lot the people here and basically the city particular spirit/style. This, that would sound complete madness to a psychologist, seems quite probable for me. In my last retreat the realization that my whole life was totally imaginary arised very deeply. And I'm contemplating now this idea. Of course it doesn't matter a lot, they are just details of the dream. But anyway, I just thought to share it... see what you guys think.

@Breakingthewall Well this makes me pissed! Are psychedelics useless at the end of the day? Because they have definetely impacted this type of thinking. And I thought they were the recipe for avoiding the ego ??‍♂️?

And how do you remove suffering ?

????

Oh yeah no problem, I live in much bigger city now. Im just in my natal city because I'm on vacation. But I would love to "demonstrate myself" that here people are like anywhere else and all of that

Now that its been a couple of weeks on holidays and i have a much free mind, I have realized that i experience FOMO much of the time. It materializes in the body as a Sort of anxiety that just Tells you "you are missing out! They are having such fun!". This anxiety greatly greatly intensifies on weekends, when i know people are really going out there partying, socializing, and ...some even fucking ? What to do with this FOMO? I have found that i get anxious to eliminate It, and that makes me itself more anxious and neurotic, which prevents me in the first time to do stuff that would make the FOMO go away (like socializing or going out clubbing)

Of course not, it was a date. But if you apply my ratio and down it by maybe 20%, which obviously was coincidentally high (luck of the begginer?), And apply that 1 in 5, that would make more lay count when approaching +1000 on a year than 30 like Leo said. Well that's disappointing, I seriously belief I can make it higher

Well I've Trying to eliminate it for years now and it just can't put myself to do it . First when I was 18-19 years old I miss a lot of opportunities of going out. Then from 20-23 I was like deeply depressed or some shit like that. From 23 to 25 I just have been tremendously anxious to go out in my city (lost nearly all friends from 18) And now from 25 to 26 my plan was to do pick up but with covid and masks I had to call it off. Honestly I've been Trying to successfully do pick up in my city for some time already and I can't put myself to do it. It's that what I particularly have FOMO with. Just for one fucking time feeling Part of the city, for one time having a drink with a girl of my city, not feel like a weirdo. It's so fucking simple yet I keep procrastinating. Seems like a curse

You'll be allright brother ?

No, that's the story right now you are maintaining, because you know deep down non duality is literal. It's You, only You. You are literally God. You are right now imaging there is a Leo out there, and a forum...etc. This is happening in your own infinite mind and you are trying to talk yourself out of truth, to keep playing the game. Totally understandable, of course. But know the truth. Be sure that you slowly start to accept it more and more. The soon you accept you are alone hallucinating that things or humans exist outside your mind, the better.

@OneHandClap but I don't understand if we are One how is it that we are separated? If it's One Consciousness shouldn't this One Consciousness live EVERYTHING?

I can abandon it, yeah. I'm not sure what you mean with "pure Consciousness". Is that what you experience on 5-meo-dmt? I think I was there one time and I didn't understand shit. I definetely can't draw any conclusions from my trips on 5-meo. I'm as confused as always. Let's not talk about the last time. I experienced this intense feeling of love and I think I black out later because I can't remember much. But my theory is that 5-meo love realization is not legit because I don't feel more "close" to the people of my city. And in the 5-meo trip it felt like this love was One. I don't know I'm just so tired of tripping and thinking I've reached some place and then people tell me I'm just intellectualising and not going anywhere.

@OneHandClap if I am real and not a NPC, are you conscious you are me? Who am I for you?

Dont worry I won't run myself into trouble ? I want to enjoy and have fun in this dream , not make a drama out of it ? @OneHandClap but thanks for the concern. Don't worry I am pondering all possible perspectives. When you say " . There is experience, and you have clearly latched onto and identified with the content of your experience". Of course how could I not?

@OneHandClap Couldn't be like @nuwu said? My theory would be correct and you would still exist

Hehehe very good. Case closed. People can't BS more. You said it right fucking there. BUUUM.

@nuwu Do you think it's a "shared" dream? ??

I wish. I'm doing nofap and detox from social media to try to raise naturally dopamine Lol