Javfly33

This triggered a Now Realization, no joke. You re good, i Will have to bookmark this post to read It again in my next trip ?

Loved how the post ended? ? ? ?

LOL. Very funny your personal understanding of what the word Love is for you.

@EntheogenTruthSeeker I totally agree ? Having said that, it's also true that maintaining a forum of this size isn't easy and I also understand that Leo has to maintain a certain "status quo normality". I'm sure Leo is a funny and understandable guy , I would find hard to believe otherwise knowing he's had all those psychedelic experiences and have gone through some rough patches himself. But he probably have to maintain an agenda of "normality" and sometimes "ruin the party attitude" for the forum to not go totally reckless. Consider this reflexion before leaving , please. You are loved here bro!

It seems that for some stage Orange goals which some m, you have to "push yourself" to accomplish them/do them. I have started to meditate again daily since ~2 weeks ago and ive found that my overall calmness and happiness mood is so much bigger than before (calmness was practically non existent before unless i had a screen on my hands). HOWEVER, and this is my concern, I've found that in the last two weeks i have decreased the regularity of me pushing myself towards some of this stage Orange goals. I am not sure if its because since meditation puts you in a relaxed vibrational frecuency, now things that are very far from this frecuency resonate even less with my Consciousness/Soul and i now i am even more "lazy/avoidant", to get my hands dirty. Its like i only stay in good feeling activities lately. On one hand of course ultimately What i value in Life is happiness and peace, however on the other hand i know its not realistic to deny my ego of some primordial stage Orange/survival goals. The mindfuck also is that i am not doing meditation because of trying to get enlightened or avoid survival basic needs, But because I Thought my mind was so neurotic that It was even affecting the ability of me being able to do some basic survival challenges. Seems like the classic "you are damned if you do, and damned if you dont" I need some clarity guys. Should I quit meditation and get as neurotic as i can and push myself to achieve shit? (It hasnt worked well in the past). Should I continúe and Pray that my ego Will end Up moving his ass? ? ? Thanks for the replies.

I can't relate because luckily I recently moved and this city I have little friends. But maybe it will make you feel good that they don't know you are day gaming unless you tell them that, If I see a friend approaching a girl on the street during day time, I think it's his friend, or maybe its asking her for directions or someshit. I don't know why you assume they will instantly know that you are gaming. This anxiety definitely is not rational. The biggest "danger" is you feeling bad about what they might think of you. Lol.

@Nahm Ok, I see where you going that is interesting. I probably have an overall perspective on reality based on fear, and I operate from that energy most of the time, which is from where those kind of thoughts (anxiousness, anxiety") probably arise. An empowerment paradigm shift would be to interpret the feeling as "excitement" as you say, even as joy, power, aliveness... right? But I just feel this tremendous resistance to allow that possibility. It´s like it's "too good to be true". And it's not that I haven´t experienced that. The absence of an "anxiety/I can't" story. Maybe not for a long time. But I did felt free. And Yeah that felt so good. The absence of labels and stories of anxieties, fears and etc. Yeah, It´s quite the thing. ? (fuck, actually putting this emoji made me "go there" a bit for some second) I'm just stucked and seems too good to be true to consider the other possibility. It´s like I have some "fear glasses" always put on and I always felt life like a scary place. I would love to take off hose fucking glasses but I can't see where they are. It´s like they are glued to my face. How can I unglue them? Keep meditating? I mean I will keep doing that, no matter what it always makes my day a bit better, but idk man, not sure if that would enough for the glasses to come off.

@Nahm Now you mean? Yeah definitely frustration and impatience (sense of losing time/opportunities ) ... but when comes the day to "do it" I fall down to the "overwhelment". I also have noticed that when anxiety is felt thoughts of apathy appear to try to "mask" the feeling of fear/overwhelment

Yeah Definetely. Never again. Fucking hard night that was.

Exactly, I think the problem we nebiews face is that at first we are not socially calibrated and can give a creep-vibe. I must confess first night of this year that I went gaming, the first set I approached, at one point in the conversation, which lasted maybe 30 seconds, one of the girls said "No, we are lesbians, we are going to do a trio now on our own". And I said to her in the most creepiest/serious tone "Oh, how that would look like" + creepiest look in the eyes HAHHAHHA (I was on a fucking microdose of Lsd so I was terrified/anxious inside more than usual but at the same time as "real" as I could ), when they started walking away, one of the girls of the set end up shouting me from far away "Pig!" or something like that Lol . That first experiences until you get calibrated can be quite traumatizing. . Also btw fuck psychedelics for doing game. Worst drug I could ever take for that.

@Nahm Definetely it´s overwhelment the emotion experienced. ? How do I move up to frustration/impatience? Just feeling overwhelment the best I can? That gives more clarity, thanks.

I Dont get the point of this post brother

@Rilles@ADD thats interesting. Thanks, ill try that. @Rilles Exactly, although i Dont have a problem in meditation not helping me in achieving my stage Orange goals, i would find concerning if its making It more difficult to achieve them But making me less tolerant to discomfort/anxiety.

Do meat lowers energy? @EntheogenTruthSeeker You think is lower vibrational foods?

@Yarco 2000$ a logo? Cmon... And I've done graphic desing. A now there are nuances between a 20$ logo an a 200$ one..But 2000$> woah

?Amazing Looks you had real high consciousness fun ⭐️

I agree with Leo in this one. Liver is the organ across a lot of animals (including the human being) where toxic stuff is processed. It's not wise to eat that, regarding what the paleo or keto fanboys might say.

I'm better each day... Now after 2 hard months I am starting to reap the benefits, can't wait to quit it completely. I'm currently doing 100mg daily only ?

I always suspected i have low testosterone But i never do analysis Magnesium i Dont think so due to my diet Vitamin d IS the one from the Sun?

It's not lovely Lol but I get what you mean. From outside it does seems as a joke. If you are a curious search In twitter the hashtags #loser #paypig #findom etc. You'll see payments of today of plenty of "losers" ? You'll be amazed how crazy this fetish is ?

@bloomer ?? Nah but yeah you are right @Knowledge Hoarder Yeah since quitting caffeine I am more conscious and I don´t find findom appealing at all. I just find it quite false and such a facade. Never again. Gave away +2000€ probably in over 2 years! @Rilles Which might not seem a lot but for someone who was unemployed and then when I have been employed I have a low paying job is a lot

The wrld on drugs, one of my fav albums of all times ?? But definetely NOT woke

Today I was sitting in a bench, blissing myself out just because , when...it hit me. Of course! Of course meditation is not supposed to fix or help you reach your goals and desires, and attachments. Of course. Meditation is not about the self. Meditation works for you to just make sure that you are always you. With that all entails. Happiness, peace, nothingness, death, right here. And if apart from that, you want to pursue goals attachments and stuff you think you need, by all means, go for it, switch Off the Self, attach to the mind, and try to pilot the beast the best you can, but know that meditation won´t follow you there. You will be alone fighting the wolves with the other wolves. And that´s fine. Not saying that is bad. It is what it is. Attachment, desire, play, it´s Ok. We came here to play. But Meditation is not about playing the game. Don´t expect meditation to help you become rich, don´t expect it to help you pick-up chicks, don´t expect it to help you become even charismatic or fun. Meditation cares strictly about You. Nothing more, nothing less.

@Fearless_Bum Thats not the intention. Bro, maybe coffee for you doesnt do you much, i Dont know. Look, i have reasons to quit. Its more than being the cool guy. For me, before I started to quit coffee, i used to do 1 coffee once I woke Up, and another at the afternoon. That was It. And lately, (the last 2-3 months) I remember waking Up feeling TERRIBLE until i managed to fix myself the first cup of coffee. Then, i would go from feeling like a zomby to feeling jittery and "all around the place" in a Matter of 20 minutes, so i would have to chug at least 1.5gr of Red Kratom to comedown of that anxious stimulation. By that time i wanted to start quitting kratom and It wasnt easy because i would feel so jittery and "on the edge" after taking a coffee. Now, you could say that It wasnt the coffee, It was kratom WD, But, turns out, Im still doing kratom everynight. Now i only do about 1gr through the whole day , and at the end of the day, (the days i keep my caffeine dose the same) i feel FINE like i havent felt in ages. Also, i enjoy an overall CALM through the whole day since I drink coffee, as someone with some social anxiety, i feel much more calm and grounded, I actually think not drinking coffee IS helping dramatically my mindfulness ability also. I just feel more grounded through the day wherever i am. Anyways, that was It. Just to let you know that i am not quitting It to be cool. I just think It really damages long term my ability to feel calmed and relaxed. I remember working on coding projects while drinking coffee and feeling all over the place. Building stuff , and deleting It, over and over, because i couldn't Focus on a single Page of documentation for more than 20 seconds. Now i Dont feel those "productivity peaks" But i just go slowly and thinking through What i want to build and design before coding anything. I Dont know, It just feels more healthy and conscious to be naturally energized on your own motivation and own resources of the body, not on a dopamine-noradrenaline pedal that comes and goes. But that is perspective. Maybe coffee doesnt affect your sistem at all and you Will be fine with It

A body