Hotaka

Right now I should be on Step 87 of my Second Round of Steps. Am going to start again for you, and begin journaling in here. You as observers are accountability to this, so I will journey on and start again from where I am. Step 1. You have shown me how much I don't know and for this I will start again. So now I am on Step 1, and I shall post my Journaling below. You are my accountability to this, I will do the necessary practices each day and share my insights whether brief or small it doesn't matter, I will share what I can in this journey of learning, whether it is directly relevant to the Step or not, I will post the number for the day and my insights for each day below in each of these posts. Whether it is relevant to you or not I will post it, for my own sake and yours to see of a journey of a student going through Steps, so here I go.

Sample Step: Steps to Knowledge - The Book of Inner Knowing Step 1 I am without Knowledge now. THERE MUST BE A STARTING POINT at any juncture of development. You must start from where you are, not from where you want to be. You start here in the understanding that you are without Knowledge. That is not to say that Knowledge is not with you. It is simply to say that you are not with Knowledge. Knowledge is waiting for you to proceed. Knowledge is waiting to give itself to you. Therefore, you are beginning now to prepare to be in relationship with Knowledge, the greater aspect of mind that you have brought with you from your Ancient Home. THREE TIMES TODAY SPEND 10 MINUTES thinking about what Knowledge is, not merely applying your own ideas, not merely applying your past understanding, but thinking about what Knowledge really is. Practice 1: Three 10-minute practice periods.

Notes on Steps from 1 to 28: 1. Really? So I know nothing 2. Here now. Permanent 3. I am. Knowledge 4. I want. I 5. I believe. Ego 6. I really know. Trust 7. Review, I see nothing. Humility 8. Is. Stillness, being 9. This. Knowledge ? What? 10. Nothing. Nothing is what I know. 11. Am. (inarticulate sound) 12. Yes. Gets naked and starts running around 13. Yes. Puts clothes back on, and makeup for women 14. Again. Try again 15. Is. It is what it 15. 16. Right. Ouch to that one, EGO! 17. Shut up now. 18. Answer. See Wisdom came through! - but that wasn't Knowledge! 19. Ok. Yes I need desire. 20. I won't. Don't be a bitch. Keep going. 21. Every time it happens again. Let it be. I want to learn more. 22. Good. Oh someone please show me the Way! 23. Cool beans. Cheers mates. 24. I am this. Bloody hell I am. 25. Yes/No. Sorry I am just navigating between opinions. 26. Indeed. Shit I suck. 27. Yes I do. And I need it real bad. 28. All over again. There's some work to do.

Beige is an ancient building at peace with time. (being) Purple is a tribe in a circle sharing stories. (ultraviolet, at sundown) Red is a man eating meat, or hunting and then eating. (sitting on a carpet) Blue is a person buying a blueberry smoothie without realising it is artificial. (tricked) Orange is an orange, which is orange and always orange. (ideas that are self sustaining) And gets sweaty. Green is a leaf that does good things for everyone because they are trending and seen as good. (more ability to propagate). So a self shining self choosing ego. Like a hippy. Yellow is a lemon that does the job of an orange without sweetness (less impact), like a good entrepreneur. Torquoise is a turtle that travels the sea slowly with a pattern on it's back, it's the pattern that matters. (cosmic shift). When it sees inside the reflection. Coral is a tree underwater, it no longer needs to breathe because it is at one with it all. Now it is still. Teal is unspeakable meditating essence, fully awakened. The thing beyond the still, always. Beyond reflection, but transcending it. This is all relative to where I think I am and will inevitably fail, each colour will trick you because it is more enlightened than you are, colours stand alone in function and presence whether you are looking or not, yes turquoise can reflect this, and coral can be with it without saying a thing, and Teal can be the meditating essence she is, but then there is That, and it will keep going forever until you are right where you need to be, which is not where you are now, see all the value in each of the colours and you will be in the right place, but don't try to use them for yourself.

Here is a massive claim, an opinion can be apparently changed by putting a brake on in your reading, 'Above all else I seek Knowledge' or if you apply the brake it could say 'Above all else I, seek Knowledge' and then another word could be rippling through which I want to share, so I keep wanting to share like a green leaf, I receive more so I start photosynthesising and encouraging a generally acceptable process (hippy), then I am realising my individuality so I eat an orange, I realise it is too sour and sweet and feel challenged and use the sugar to fight, like a scientist. I get tired and toxic and need to eat a lemon, because I am alternative and need to use only necessary knowledge (fasting) could this be the progression of colours, or me, I or the body or philosophy or spiral dynamics? How many systems could I be actualizing at once? And then there is Knowledge throughout, that is being shared in the background and promoting further insights in your life, in unexpected ways, creating or showing you new systems or possibilities you never knew you had. Knowledge. What is the biggest apple I can eat? And I speak of Knowledge outside of a system, to be known. What is this yellow? And it could be existent throughout, even in the yellow's wonderful integrating and cleaning capabilities, what is outside yet inside as well, without needing action to sound too incredible to even know it's activity? As it is I think this turquoise must be something about the merging of the Knower the Knowledge and the Known, so that the yellow knower isn't just great and perfect, but has also entered their work forever, beyond time and space and conditions for it's possibility to arise. I don't know what I am saying. You become the philosopher's stone, I don't know how, but you do and you are in some way that. Yes to that.

Who has what? Everywhere I c. I am aware of that the words here make you believe that the reflection in them has an end point. So in a sense you see me very clearly, but in another no, because I will be doing something later. Unless you really have pinpointed me in my location in the grid, then that is another story and you must indeed be connected to collective consciousness in the present, dwelling in the 'silent state' (a state of it's own, beyond time and space). Or beyond the grid. You should then have something to say to me. There is no having here it dwells within me yes, as you wish. Something will be subconscious at some point, and then how do you know where it is? I don't know, we'll see, keep breathing, it is the best service you can do right now, better than ever, less subject to rigidity more object to subjectivity. How it is related to your awareness is what you make of it, in the end the absoluteness of consciousness has no foundation or grounds in a changing environment, Knowledge is different, it is there whether you are blind or not, but you are active, reflecting it as you already are, but now self-cognising, not of your consciousness, but what you make of it, and the possibilities there. Yet once you leap beyond possibilities you are in simplicity. More learning I guess. (this is a self-feeding cycle, without letting go of learning, and you must be seeing from many angles). to know what isn't and what is (still in idealism, unless you see that isn't and is already are, unless you think, then that isn't what you think it is, the thought is) you could speak truth then Diagnose it and eliminate it, with analytical meditation if you need it, and you will be safe from confusion or conclusion, don't worry about what it does, look at what it does not. It will move around you without you knowing, it will change you. You must identify this ego, beyond qualitative facades, and consciousness will be what is doing that, not you. This is consciousness, the moving of particles around a central intelligence, EGO. Knowledge knows this, and thus it knows that this I all revolve around is baseless unless useful to the collective in some way, but still of no use to me unless I can show it for what it is, to reveal Knowledge, and what EGO is doing in it's way! In some way then I enter a whirlpool of confusion until all are fused into one. I am confused. I can or not, it makes no difference, who needs me in the room? I don't try to know what I c. I do seek Knowledge. Look directly at this, and you will c without Knowledge. You have proved the existence of Knowledge, you can look at c, without knowing anything other than c, then Knowledge was seeing in the Mean Time in your words, sea what I Mean is >c? You may permeate it or dodge it, which will you choose? And for what? Should we assimilate consciousness into our vocabulary or dodge it? That is your individual choice in Knowledge, and based on Knowledge, you may choose either pathway, empty or full, delineated or non delineated, which will you choose? This must be important. You don't even c Knowledge, and neither do (I<K) while I'm in it saying something. I can see I<K (words) or I can see (I<K) (Knowledge that is in the brackets beyond my self, faith). I am smaller than Knowledge, it is already there, and I use this Knowledge for that. And I can constantly feed myself with these bubbles by preparing for the future, and I can use these as actualities, and they may be just overlapping dreams in the realm of possibility, yet they are being modified by Knowledge as I put them on the shelf, just like my relationship with a book can change after I put it on the shelf and do action, then return to it, why not? This=K I don't know. Just making a point.

Funny enough here is an example of the coat hanger effect, when I make a mistake such as the one above where I accidentally didn't close the brackets, I can say it was a mistake on my behalf, but not really because it fitted right in it's proper place also for the absolute meaning I was conveying that someone could recognise either consciously or subconsciously. 'And another is the quantum leap of in the gap before having gone there, from a higher perspective like a coat hanger overseeing past and future. (This allows for things to go smoothly in the long term and from a greater and higher perspective.' Don't worry, I don't have to make the bracket on this point open on the end, but yet it is still relevant, something put in brackets (bracketing) could show an awareness that is developing now, that in the future can look back over your experience, like a coat-hanger, so that future now, is actually open to the whole universe now, and is either a possibility or an actuality right now in the future. I don't know if I have made myself clear, sometimes we can produce bubbles in our awareness that are infinite like the perspective of an enlightenment experience that is in the future and involves seeing ourself and all our interactions from the past, but right now, in both places, entanglement of a sort between the you of now and the you of the future, as you interact between two realms of infinite possibilities. 0808

@Mikael89 But see I don't even have awareness or consciousness, I could be staring at the light in the face and still there is no sensation, only images like a projection on the visual image in the inner projector. Try looking at a light for long enough and notice the black spot it leaves. So the awareness that you idolise is your own shadow, cause it is leaving a black mark, meaning it was only a projection, and you did not see it had no content, it was like a glove that was placed on you which you reacted to by retracting or being occluded by it, allowing it to have space in your body. Every picture fits in it's own shape, and this is what is beautiful, but also harmful. It is already what it is in the right place, supposedly for the universe (but not for us). But how can we use this to the best of our abilities to discover who or what WE are, we will have to challenge the universe in some way maybe I see two movements here, one is the digestion of consciousness with reality (like). And another is the quantum leap of in the gap before having gone there, from a higher perspective like a coat hanger overseeing past and future. (This allows for things to go smoothly in the long term and from a greater and higher perspective. So there is a likeness that comes from the reflection of your soul with reality in your body and environment, and then there is an inner discernment that has to come from a Higher form of Guidance. This is Knowledge. This sees achievement in it's proper place.

Should I stop caring about mind and it's stories? Should I stop making systems that are self sustainable but useless in orientation, when the universe is 4d and constantly changing between past and future at the same time. It is not moving but in full movement, what is there to be conscious of? Then I am still and in a place of belief, not still but in full opinion, on point, and in the point changing at all times infinitely? That could be what it is like experiencing all the points in the universe, the relationship between them all in real time and in every single molecule. Feeling all the possibilities of what the relationship could have been like, while actualizing my own in one tiny point, and only for an instant, of course this would be useless. Then the gaps between in some way may help me know where to place that point, and the bigger the perspective the better the point? Infinite perspective? The bigger perspectives come only from a still mind, I know this, but how does it become multiple and multiple dimensional? And what is the point of it all?

I don't mind matter, but mind matters to me.

@Quanty There you go my friend, healing is your thang. Teach me the medicine. Continue to conflict me and destroy me, even thought you seem not the threatening figure you at first portrayed yourself to be. This occurs in public situations? How does the healing unfold? Do people think they are in for a while until they realise they are reflecting you in themselves and they are quiet the whole time, and then you say something like expecting them to show you who you are, while you are being it, and so you tell yourself who you are. You know that's you and they never realised you reflected them in the first place? Were they doing it the whole time? When is your will in place only this Knowledge can work, I think either through request from the world or in your own inaction you may chose to jump ahead into the know. A quantum leap. You might need to go on impulse for a while. With full focus and presence (no mind) with-out thoughts. No mind is not an option, the step ahead is already occurring. Get lost. And you will be found. This is necessary for you to see. Haha I don't mind this either, but it is happening. And you are a part of it, nothing to tie up, it will remain open until your purpose is fulfilled or sealed into reality like a neatly wrapped package which you will never find unless you open. That will be your heart, when you abandon it to Knowledge and it is itself in a state of death, it will be gone, and you will know it in yourself wherever you are, and do something to serve it with your new energy because it is lacking in the world.

You have gotten the light to creep into your system. Now what?

I have to come down a fair way to know where I am.

Step 281 Above All Else I Seek Knowledge. Above all else seek Knowledge, for Knowledge will give you all else that you need. You will seek Knowledge with total conviction when you realize that any other avenue of endeavor and any other use of your mind and body will be hopeless and will lead you into greater confusion. For without Knowledge, you can only learn that you need Knowledge, and with Knowledge, all true learning will proceed. Your past has already taught you the great need for Knowledge. You need not learn this again and again. Why repeat the same lesson over and over, thinking that it will yield for you a different result? Of yourself you can do nothing. Without Knowledge you can only generate more imagination. Therefore, there is one answer to your one greatest need, and the one answer will meet all other needs that emanate from your one great need. Your need is fundamental and the response to your need is fundamental. There is no complexity here, for in essence you need Knowledge to live meaningfully. You need Knowledge to advance. You need Knowledge to realize your True Self. You need Knowledge to fulfill your destiny in the world. Without Knowledge, you will simply wander around and come once again to realize that you need Knowledge. This is a day of thanksgiving, for your prayers have been answered. Your need has been responded to. The gift has been given to you to reclaim your Knowledge. Above all else seek that which will serve everything through you. In this, your need and the remedy for your life will become simple, and you will be able to proceed in certainty and patience, becoming a consistent student of Knowledge. Day by day you are reclaiming your True Self. Day by day you are escaping all else that seeks to pull you into the darkness of confusion. Day by day that which is unreal begins to disintegrate and that which is genuine begins to emerge. Upon the hour today remember and affirm this great truth— that you seek Knowledge above all else. In your deeper meditation practices, allow yourself to enter stillness. Allow your life to be transformed. Allow Knowledge to emerge so that you may be a vehicle for its expression, for in this you will find happiness. Practice 281: Two 30-minute practice periods. Hourly practice.

Did you see there, I was skipping on stones in a way that the skipping was already done before I started!

But then that would be slavish, if you needed words to manifest automatically with no relation to you, they are you, and I am silent, watching you, and in some way also reflecting on you in the eyes you see, and can't you see this? I don't see the point, only the angle, and we can slide wherever you want into the pond, but I have stagnated enough, and beginning to evaporate and distil the medicine for you all. I see you as you see me, and I can be you as you can be me, and a bee can see if it is travelling to flowers, single events in a tenfold fashion. Trying to create a system in the past that relates to the present seen from the future.

What do you do?

I don't add anything.

I don't tend in any direction, reflect on this.

@Quanty Exactly, I could be pressuring the deepest gut reaction in you, but there could be no friction or tension in my body, why is that? Do you feel the gut tension or are you watching? I think the heart knows the answer to this. But do we need to be in conflict first? Or at the same time. And eternal conflict there is, such as left and right and in the heart as well it keeps it open, it is only bipolar because we can't challenge it without chickening out, so we remain on a pendulum.

What is beyond the flow? I ask this to all.

@Quanty Good on you Quanty, I challenge you yes, why else would I put the @ symbol there if not to target you individually? Well, the challenge itself is what brings out Knowledge, in fact, most of the great storms of Knowledge came through at times of war, take Wittgenstein as an example, he was at war in himself and at war on the outside. He served in both world war I and world war II. Of course we are not in this situation, but in the minds of people, a war is occurring yes, and we must bring it out to observe it on a sheet of paper as people's words are a great tool to diagnose and see the incorrect patterns within it. I challenge people to bring to me their own inner conflict, and I show them that it can stand alone even without their mind really doing anything.

Has anyone put everything together, and did they find stillness and nothing else, or also an objective framework or map that arise as a by product such as the Buddha's disciples and the pathways that came from this, in India, the Rishi's and the Knowledge they developed. What is this Knowledge? And is there a map and education we can use to discover this? I use a book called Steps to Knowledge. www.stepstoknowledge.com Also however other than a Spiritual practice such as the one I mentioned, to get into Presence and Guidance, there is a general remapping of our framework that can be done based on people who have done the work for us. Here is an example. At one point, during an encounter with a cactus in my digestive tract I was directed to see something about the 4 directions. I learned that they go in cycles with the sun and that each had a particular character or room in it, in the sense had a unique quality on the scale it was on. The practice I follow in talks about 4 pillars in life: The pillars of relationships, health, work and providership and spiritual development. What I saw in this cactus perception was that I could see this 4 relationship in a context of physical space, like a coordinate that was there wherever I was, and not just spatial measurement but also qualitative meaning internal to the facings of the structure, as if nature wanted me to know something about our orientation together in the world as a system composed of one organ with it's own Knowledge or Intelligence that was contextual (right brain), me and without me simultaneously. Maybe I will experience the whole universe within me and without me as well. I could have been the one helping nature who needed to know or remember something. And I would think it said to me, south is the water and health (rivers, blood), east is waking up and in some way seeing the light (the hills and meadows), relationship, north is seeing the action rising, the labour power, work, the west was death and decay/surrender (air, heart and sunset), this is place of prayer, spiritual development, and incredibly it all works well for me to use it as a cycles awareness method, for an infinite system. It could be said that in Ayurveda things are similar, for example each time of day can govern one area of the body more than others, such as the Vata times from: 2pm to 6pm and 2am to 6am, Pitta times 10am to 2pm and 10pm to 2am; with finally Kapha times at 6pm to 10pm and 6am to 10am. Many more things, for example the absolute significance of numbers in numerology, even without birthdates, for example on number plates etc. Is nature exchanging information behind our backs? Gossiping about us through the matrix through street signs and numbers? Maybe our brains work similarly, just like a set of highly precisely calibrated mirrors, with pictures already on them crossing over with over ones while moving, like a hologram maybe, and depending on how we look through our brain, wisdom can leak in and in some way give the picture to the picture without moving it from it's central turning axis.

@Quanty The hardest thing to do: Step 3 What do I really know? TODAY ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU REALLY KNOW and distinguish what you know from what you think or hope for or want for yourself or your world, what you are afraid of, what you believe in, what you cherish and what you value. Distinguish this question from all such orientations to the very best of your ability and ask yourself, “What do I really know?”You must continuously examine whatever answers you give to this question to see if they represent your beliefs or assumptions or the beliefs or assumptions of other people or perhaps even of humanity at large. THREE TIMES TODAY, FOR 10 MINUTES EACH, ask this question and think very seriously about your response and about the meaning of this question,“What do I really know?” Practice 3: Three 10-minute practice periods. http://www.stepstoknowledge.com/steps/Step3-What-do-I-really-know.htm

Curious question Markus, I like it, not bad, something I have been contemplating as well. I seem to go from one day of, oh I have so postponed my actualization of Knowledge in my life, and another day it's like omg the veil is so thin if I only let a little current or thread through I will be flooded, oh god, I am in public, why am I so important? Why do I have so much control, Knowledge or something else inexplicable trying to come through me which will surely make a great impact? I can have other times even where it's just like, oh holy shit, it's all too much, and this can even be, it's all too much to learn now, but if I did, it would never fit here. Or don't look at that person, he will send you an imprint you don't need, so don't look and don't even breathe. Or look at that person, oh I just gave them a message I think, or possibly even someone at a great distance, I am staring at them without wanting to. Why? Something is evolving and changing within me, I don't know what it is, but I will let it happen to the fullness of my ability, and if the world blows up as a result of my enlightenment or awakening/initiation, so what! Fuck you all, and I say this in my head, to chase away form to give room for spirit, I feel like blessing large areas of space often, but I am too lazy to do so, but feel it is part of my normal communication. I could be in a room and start deep inner listening and really feel what is going on at the bottom of someone's heart as if it is occurring in my heart and it's too much, cause in talking to them it's like they need to confess to me I don't want to be the one to hear this. But here is the thing, being incognito and not standing out so much like a sore thumb, or other times like something else ?, would be so much better. I don't know how ignorant people are, how much of an interaction they can see, how much they remember, cause I can remember in most circumstances any movement that occurs. And if I knew no one else cared or noticed me, I would be happier, because I would be more free to be myself, ever expanding consciousness, like a tripper that doesn't fit in on a trip, but isn't tripping, or a tripper who is doing some weird fabric of reality bending ritual or activity without anyone feeling he is doing any harm!