Victor Mgazi

If the attachment to the idea of self isn't real then recognize that you're God, do it right now. If you can do that then great, tell us how you did it. If you can't then tell us why you can't, I'd be willing to bet that it has something to do with conditioning and attachment. Ego is conscious intelligence clinging to the idea that it is a separate self. It doesn't even matter whether this separate self is human or not. Cling to any kind of form and you're attached.

@deci belle How do you mean sense of self? Do you mean it as in the impression of a self, kinda like that from wearing virtual reality goggles? If so then no I'm not aware of that. Do you mean it as in getting the feeling of being a separate self, like i feel like i exist ? If so then yes I'm aware of that. Yes, perceptions alone don't generate ego. It's the attachment to self referential thoughts that make ego. After ego death there will still be self referential thoughts because that's the reality you're in, but there will no longer be self oriented thoughts. Yes, being will continue to be. The human was imaginary anyway.

@deci belle wow?, I'm so fascinated by your post. Your level of reasoning and use of language intrigues. Forgive me for taking so much time to respond to your post, I'll have to really sit and contemplate on what you've said. Although, as far as I've read, we seem to be not so off from each other's views. I only got to what I post through awareness and self inquiry, you seem like the contemplative type. But that's all alright, we'll see where that takes us.

I think you might be referring to the psyche rather than ego. And if that's so then yes I agree with you in the conventional level, but on the meta level my perspective differs. Yep, definitely sounds like you're talking about the psyche.

Noted results from mindfulness meditation: 1) Increase in levels of concentration. 2) Widened attentiveness. 3) Voluntary cessation of thoughts for indefinite periods. 4) A degree of absorption in the present moment. 5) Exposure of illusory features of reality. 6) A sense of unification with reality. Noted results from self inquiry: 1) Awareness of delusional concatenation. 2) Radical open mindedness. 3) Awareness of attachments. 4) Notice of human conditioning. 5) Less ego driven agenda 6) Direct awareness of consciousness. 7) Direct awareness of what love is, both universal and absolute love. 8) A degree of awareness of the intelligence of consciousness. Goals # Becoming directly aware of infinity. # Having ego death. # Becoming directly aware of absolute truth. Results were noted roughly after a year and a half of practice.

Yes The sense of doership will be there but the idea won't. Thoughts are still present without ego, including visual and auditory thoughts. Consciousness is intelligent, that quite literally means it has a mind of its own. There was never a personal perspective to begin with, that is imagined.

I think you should do what you believe is best for you. You're the one who's going to have to live with your decision. I don't know how you can undo it, I only know that you are capable. But why go through that trouble when you can just ask her to undo it? And that's if you trust her of course. But whether or not you should undo it, I'd say go with your intuition, do what feels right for you.

Oh yes, they're very much real. I've had a fair share of experiences with them myself. But I am certain about what I'm saying. Witchdoctors don't have that kind of power of inducing a permanent state whether it be emotional numbness or sensitivity. What is done can be undone or remediated, that's of course if what we're talking was induced. But I'm not saying I'm an expert on these topics, or anything like that. I'm only stating what I know for a fact.

What's more important to you, getting rid of this fear or knowing how your next life will be?

It's impossible to be sure of what?

@playdoh I can only tell you one thing for a fact, there's no state that a witchdoctor (or whatever term you prefer) can induce that will ever be permanent. They don't have that kind of power. You can change the state you're in yourself or get another person to do so.

Actually, it changes everything, because that's just the point. If God's will is love then the only thing that exists is love. If there's anything else that you know to exist then that's imaginary. What you call "free will" is imaginary. Suffering, determinism, etc.. that's all imaginary. There's nothing here but love because that's God's will. Or does God have another will? God's will is love because that's who God is. It can't be any other way. So if what you want to know is how God is love, then do as I've said and put in the work: question yourself just as much as you've questioned God. God is love, who are you? God is the truth, what are you?

Maybe.. but what if that's the truth. What if I told you what God's will is, and what if I told you it's to love.. What would you make of that?

It looks awesome. I'm getting serious interpretations from only looking at it. Is it weird that I feel the sudden impulse to just grab that hand?

@arlin what if I told you that God never chose anything, what would you then think?

Existing Of And For Love The dreamer has fallen deeply in love with his dreams. And he loves to be the dreamer of these dreams because he knows that outside his dreams nothing can exist . The dreamer knows his dreaming but everything in the dream is real including pain and contentment. The dreamer knows that outside of the dream is peace and that's where he truly always is, but the dreamer gives himself fully and allows everyone and everything, including suffering, to exist by dreaming for eternity. He does this not for the pleasure or the pain of the dream..no, he does this because he is selfless and the only way he can be selfless is when he stays the dreamer by allowing the dream to Be. Without the dream there is no dreamer. Without the dreamer, who gives himself completely by dreaming, there is no selflessness but only self. And without selflessness there cannot be Love. And without Love there is no God because love was the only reason why anything could ever exist. And so without existence there is only the knowing that something could exist. This knowing of potentiality is the very present presence that is awareness which is self. This Self knows nothing, nothing at all, until it surrenders itself to allow for potentiality to become actuality, it knows nothing until it becomes the dreams and therefore the dreamer who is selfless and loving. What I'm trying to to communicate above is that your very reality is God showing you infinite abundant Love. And you are God so it makes sense that your selflessness is your self love. You and me are the selflessness of God and we're each being loved right at this infinite moment because God allows us to Be, God gives us the freedom to exist. That's what Godhood really is, it's not eternity, it's omniscience.. it is allowing you and me to be. We are the universe. God wouldn't be God if he ended this so called 'nightmare' that everyone is trying to escape. The only thing that can help you is for you to become directly conscious of what suffering is and why it is, not to say that once you do that pain will no longer exist. No, pain will exist but you'll know why it does and will know why it's beautiful instead of being just horrible. Despite the fact that I was technically gone, LOVE still remained. Even when ego is present, love still remains. You see right through the ego. Nothing really changes here, you are just aware. What Ego Actually Is Ego, you, is not a sense of self.. It's not a feature of a 'human brain/mind', and it's more than just thoughts identifying with form. Ego is attachment. Awakening doesn't mean ridding the ego, it means seeing through it, transcending it. The ego won't even exist anymore more once you awaken, but not because you got rid of it rather it won't exist anymore because you won't be believing that you're something that you're not. Sure the sense of a self will be there but you won't be attached to it, you won't cling to it and always want it to be there. The problem with clinging to human form is that you see that form and think that that's all you are. No, that's not all you are, you're also the environment that human dwells in, you're other people as well as other things that you consider separate from you. You're the sky, the sun, you're every event taking place. You are reality itself, the universe. And for the ego this isn't exactly good news, expanding your sense of self and saying that the whole universe is you is not egotistic at all. This is threatening to ego because it exposes the ego for what it truly is.. attachment. When you attach to form and believe that's what you are, the world becomes a scary place, it becomes a war zone. Why? Because it keeps changing and evolving, and you don't like that because what you cling to comes and goes, including this form. But all of this is just ridiculous because you're the one who's also limiting yourself. Look around you, ask what is truly separate from you. The very thing you believe separates from the world is what actually connects you to it. You're inseparable from the universe because you are the universe. What is the universe? It's an expression of God. Reality is an expression of God. You want to know how God looks, look around you, take it in, take it all in. That's what God looks like. Anything that has form is an expression of God. But what is form, can we really say that something has form? There's no form here because nothing is ever permanent. Form is actually imaginary. So ego is attachment to that which is imaginary. You imagine the human body and then ego comes and says "Yes, that's me.". I'm not saying imagination is bad. No, imagination is good, we need imagination so that you as the universe and time (if you believe that time is a real) can exist. It's the attachment that's the problem, it's literally the root of all evil..or in your case suffering. How Ego Happens How does attachment happen? Reality = Consciousness + Imagination. The sense of self comes from consciousness and the concepts of body and this and that come from imagination. Imagination layers itself on to consciousness and that creates reality where you get things like experience and so on. When imagination gets to consciousness it finds that it's intelligent, it finds that the already is a sense of self but then there's no self and so it imagines a self. Why does this happen? Because consciousness is intelligent and has imagination which then trys to make sense of itself, it can't help it, it has a mind that is Imagination. So, when this self is imagined for the sense of self that exists independent from imagination, you are born. After you're born, this is where you literally start to trick yourself into attachment. "Hey Adam, how old are you?" "Adam, when were you born?" "Adam, you were born. Your parents had sex and your mother conceived you then gave birth to you and named you Adam. That's how you're here." Now, how did this even happen? Because the universe is intelligent you sleeping dummy! Wake up. There was never anyone here. Consciousness knows how to be a human being and how to be the world and the entire universe. Why? Because that's it's job, to be stuff. It's very nature is Being, so there's no surprise when it's being human. Human beings are consciousness existing. Are you getting it. No one typed this post that you're reading, this is just conscious intelligence. There's no one reading this post right now, this is just conscious intelligence. Adam doesn't actually exist, it's only the name that does and the self is imaginary. Your friend doesn't cry because he or she has a soul and his heart hurts and his aware of it, no! Don't underestimate conscious intelligence. Consciousness is also capable of emotional intelligence as well as intellectual intelligence, as well as any other intelligence that can be. The truth can literally hurt but it ends there, there is no one to hurt, hurting is just existing and that's it. Anything else would be your imagination. All of this, everything that has ever happened, all the things that you've ever done, that was all the work of conscious intelligence. In fact, you've never done a single thing in your life. Doership does not exist, it's imaginary. There's only Being: Consciousness Being, Intelligence Being, Love Being. That's what God is. Can you truly comprehend that, can you really appreciate this truth? Your whole reality is nothing but a good story. Life started with the imaginary you. But don't be sad about it, applaud yourself! You are a perfectionist. You've managed to create the illusion that even you couldn't help but believe it to be true. So that's how ego is created. It's funny, it truly is, it's literally the joke of all time! Surrender yourself, that is to say.. everything that you think you are surrender them. Start afresh. As if you were just born into the world start questioning. And I'll tell you something else, you wouldn't have been in this deluded state you're in if you didn't listen to your own creation. You could have known your own true nature if only you hadn't paid attention to what teachers and scientists and priests were telling you. But anyway, that happened and that's alright. It's all good. And now that you've come this far you can continue to unlearn, strip yourself of thought stories and become pure awareness. Only then will you know all there is to know about you, including who and what you are. Remember, you are the truth. Unless you know yourself, you won't know who you are and what you are.

Reality Is Imaginary Not only is reality consciousness itself but it is also imaginary. This realisation was one hell of a mind fuck. Letting go.. I was in the middle of meditating, trying to keep my attention on the breath and on how it's all happening on its own without me, when I just suddenly decided to let go of my body. I fell back on the wall right behind me and started falling sideways to the floor. Immediately when that happened, my mind went from being tranquil to being the noisiest thing in the room. "What on earth are you doing?! You're going to fall and bumb your head on the floor, you idiot! Get back up!!" There was a great panic. And something funny that I noticed immediately when I decided to let go of my only physical body is that suddenly there wasn't just a single me anymore. A lot of mental voices started springing up with each playing a different role. One voice would say "Stop this nonsense and get up before you seriously hurt yourself." and the other one argued "How is he going to do that, he has let go of control over his body?" then the other which appeared to be the closest thought-voice to me kept saying "I have no body. I'm just the thoughts." "Of course you're not the body! You're the mind and this is your body, now get up before you hurt your body." "He said his said his just the thoughts so how can he get up this is not his body?" "I have no body. I'm just a thought." "Oh for the love of God. Body, body get up you're falling!" "What in the world are you doing? The body can't hear you, it's not conscious." "I have no body. I'm just thoughts" "Well who's in charge of this body then? How the hell has it been walking and functioning all this time?" "The mind has been controlling it. The mind is conscious of us and the body." "I have no body. I'm just thoughts." "Well why isn't the mind doing anything about this? If this body falls it's going to bump its head." "The mind is doing something. It's thinking so it can come up with a solution. We're the thoughts. And right now it seems like that's all the mind can do. So maybe it never did have any control over the body." "Mind! The body is falling to the hard floor, do something!" "I have no body. I'm just thoughts." "Wait, wait. Why are we even panicking? I mean if we're just thoughts and this body is not us then why does it matter whether or not the body falls? It's not like anything is going to happen to us." "But isn't the mind going to be affected by the fall? The body is going to bump its head." "Where is the mind anyway?" "It's not here. In fact it doesn't even exist. It's just us. We're the mind. The mind is thoughts. But then wait where are we from?" And at that very moment, the mind, I disappeared. What was left was just consciousness, and it did things: breathing, moving, hearing.. It was as if it had a mind of its own. But that was precisely the case, the body of consciousness was and always has been intelligent. I was shocked. This unconscious body I'd considered to be dumb flesh without was actually intelligent. It turned on its own as to land shoulder first instead of head first, it swallowed it's own saliva when it was about to choke. And during those moments I was simply aware, I only made sense of this when i claimed the world again. When I simply let go of the thought that I am.., and what remains is the I am itself, what's left becomes remarkable. Imagining After that whole crazy experience I went outside and got some air. But the experience didn't really cease. Although i was back, reality was now a lot clearer and weirder. A lot of things were now missing from it, important things. My sister was gone, my two little brothers were gone, my whole neighborhood was gone, birds and other small creatures were gone, and most importantly.. my will, my will was gone! I had no desire to do or accomplish anything. I just did stuff. But even doing those stuff wasn't even apparent anymore. The Doership of it was non-existent. Reality wasn't even a thing anymore. Everything was gone except for existence itself. But here's the real mindfuck. Reality was non-existent but only until I started imagining again. HOLY SHIT! I couldn't help exclaim. It was mind blowing! The world literally doesn't exist until i imagine myself as a part of it. Everything starts with me, literally. Without me there's just existence but it's so fucking meaningless. And not just in the pointless sense, I mean literally MEANINGLESS. Meaning is absent. Existence is just that.. existence. There's no such thing as sounds or sight or gravity, no. Everything is as it is, there's no what it is or where it is or when it is. It just all is.. until I start doing something with it, until I start imagining. Reality is literally what you get when you put consciousness and imagination together. I remember Leo saying something like this and at the time it didn't make a fair amount of sense, but God damnit he was right! And the funny part is that I had once caught a glimpse of this awakening, one time, before I even saw that video but I just couldn't make much out of it other than God is existence itself and fucking beautiful . Reality is what you make it. This statement is true in ways you can't imagine because this truth literally transcends your imagination. It's the very source of your imagination. Holy Crap! Unless you catch a glimpse of what I'm saying you won't appreciate this. We're literally creating our own hell, we're literally creating our own heaven. This is just too much. Despite the fact that I was technically gone, LOVE still remained: my youngest little brother came running at me still showering me with hugs that he would often shower me with if he didn't see for quite a while, their playfulness was still there, the chirping bird sound was still there, affection was still a thing, shock was still a thing, irritation was still a thing. Even after the awakening, annoyance was still a thing, frustration was still a thing, pain was still a thing. So I guess the question one might ask is: if I know that I'm imagining suffering why don't I just stop imagining it, because reality is your imagination, right? Stop it, stop imagining and you won't suffer. Just imagine nice things, imagine world peace. Why don't you do that? And my answer is that I also wish it was that simple. The problem with that is by trying to imagine 'Eden' you would be trying to defy Truth. I can't really tell you how because of how deep this stuff is but I can only try to point you at it. To be continued...

I'm reaping from my meditation sessions. I'm piercing through layer after layer of mind beliefs. I can notice my awareness rising, although it's not actually being raised but being cleansed. Awareness is whole and true. Why, because consciousness is whole and true, their the same being. Of course I like to differentiate the two terms: consciousness meaning that which is existent, and awareness meaning this very ever present presence of knowing. I'm now aware of the answers that once seemed impossible to get to during self inquiry. I'm aware of the very substance of reality, I'm aware of how reality is being created at this exact infinite moment, I'm aware of being itself and I'm aware of its identity being love. I'm not yet aware of what consciousness is fundamentally although it's considerably nothing. I'm not aware of what being is regardless whether I'm told that it is Truth. And so this is what I am aiming for in this spiritual work. I want to be aware of what it all is, all of it. The truth pilgrimage is all for the sake of love.

Okay, I hear you completely. Perhaps somewhere we've misread each other's posts. I wasn't saying that other people deserve suffering and I'm definitely not okay with that. In fact one of my aspirations in life is to help make the world a better place, but let's leave that for a moment. I'm not thinking about love, I'm simply aware of it. And for a person who's not aware of it life can literally be hell, nothing seems fair or seems to make sense, efforts tend to go in vain, the world becomes a lonely place and even the very idea of love seems utterly absurd. I know it may not look that way but just with the exception that you literally don't know me.. please trust me, I certainly get where you're coming from. And this starving Africa that you keep mentioning, although I often wonder whether or not it's only in Africa that starvation exists.. lol, that's where I'm from. So I have direct experience about what you're talking about, my life really hasn't been easy, I've come a very long way. My responses were actually as genuine as they could be. Being aware of love God's love is really a big deal, but you don't have to take my word for it nor understand what I'm saying. All that I would to do is share this experience with you. Of course your problems won't go away, but I can promise you that when they do show up you'll be utterly fearless and you'll confront them with like a warrior not like a victim. And what I'm talking about here has nothing to do with enlightenment, at all. Only the awakening to God's love. I do confess, everything that I have ever accomplished has in deed been God's will, and everything that I am is God's will. Why God allows misery and suffering is truly a mystery until one is enlightened. But what I do know is that God wouldn't be God if he didn't. I'm not trying to justify anything by the way, I'm simply telling you what I know.

Because there is no other experience for the "concept of ego" to exist in. Are you aware of this or is it imagined? Are you aware of any bubbles of consciousness or is it imagined? Animals don't have ego and neither do humans. Ego is imagination layering itself on consciousness. Ego is thought/mind assuming form. When ego vanishes the whole world vanishes. Why, because the whole world is imaginary. But again, even the ego itself is imaginary. Raise your awareness. Meditate and inquire about self. @AlphaAbundance the problem here is that you guys are too busy questioning what's going on out there instead of questioning what's going on in here?. This world you're trying to understand is in your imagination, ego is in your imagination. Leave the worm and other animals out of your shenanigans. I could tell you both that the reason why you believe that animals and humans have egos is because you're not yet aware that consciousness is intelligent. But even then it wouldn't do justice. That's why it's important to put in the work and raise your awareness. When you're aware enough you'll see through your own imagination and know how everything is.

Where do they come from? Or where are they exactly?

I only realize that everything happens out of love. Which makes me feel loved. My life had been miserable once, it was only when I recognized God's love that everything it became good. God's love is brutal but also too damn selfless. Those people are God, they're starving or mentally ill because God is being God. Why did God choose to be so? Because God is love. Probably so, yes. And those people would be God showing you brutal love. And if that's the case then that's the case. @arlin I honestly do get where you're coming from, I was there once myself. It's okay trying to understand why God is love, it's good keep questioning for as long as you want. But when you decide that you're now getting tired of questioning God, consider questioning yourself just as much as you've been questioning God. Instead of looking outwards look inwards.

I'm saying that the difference is imaginary. The idea of a self is the basis for a separate world with separate entities like bacteria and humans. Without you the 'world' doesn't exist. That's all imaginary. No Awareness doesn't attach itself to anything. What is happening is that imagination has layered itself on to consciousness thus literally creating what we call 'reality'. Ego is imagination layering itself on to reality. This is not the ego's imagination, it's consciousness's imagination. Consciousness is capable of ingenuity because it's infinitely intelligent. You can be directly aware of what I'm saying here if you do self inquiry and meditation.

No And that's all it would be, imagination. A sense of self is really more of a belief than an actual sense. Self is imaginary, and it's through this self that something like a bacterium can exist. Bacteria is also imaginary. There's actually no difference between a bacterium and a human.

Okay So who/what are you?