Victor Mgazi

Total awakening would be what they call "enlightenment", I assume. But to answer one of your questions.. yes, there degrees in which you awaken, same as there are degrees in which you can become conscious. Total should mean that it's a complete realisation, and that you've grasped all there is to grasp about that truth. When you're pure consciousness, as in aware without any adjuncts in your awareness, then that's it.. you're already infinite consciousness aware of infinity itself - or should I say yourself. At least that's how I understand it. Awakening is waking up to a truth about reality, such as reality is imaginary or reality's substance is consciousness. There more conscious you become there more awakened you become. Total awakening can either mean a complete realisation of what is.. or can mean enlightenment.

It seems that way to me too. But this is partially correct as it suggests that relativity is of ego. Relativity still exists without ego. Imagination creates meaning. It's meaningful to transcend ego only when you imagine it is.

When I see spirits, demon or angel or ghosts or whatever, it's always clear that I'm looking at energy.

Wow, you just reminded me of my own mastery. How often I forget?! But that's precisely because of my perfection. I'm a perfectionist by nature! Great read ??

Awesome! Thanks for sharing ?

Surrendering My beliefs, my life, myself.. this is what I have to surrender through letting go of all the things that are a part of me and make me who I am. It's time for me to let them go and see what I'll be left with. I've already surrendered my life to God's will.. that is to say I've let go of the steering wheel, not giving up but giving in. I'm no longer concerned about the future nor my survives. I only live in the present. I no longer make plans, I only make choices whenever I have to. Why? Because I've surrendered to the truth of existence - love. God's will is love. But now I want something more than the awareness of love, the love that gives my life meaning, the love that I trust and the love that has made me fearless. I want to know the truth of love, I want to know it directly with profound intimacy. And I'm prepared to sacrifice myself to know its truth. I want purification, I want liberation, I want unification with infinity. My whole life, right until this moment, I've always had the feeling that reality doesn't make sense, that there has to be something we're missing. I decided to dedicate my life to searching, I decided I was going to explore every world and field that I can. It's because I was searching for the truth about reality, why things, including life itself, never made sense. However, this time around I'm working with a new method of doing so. Instead of carrying on searching, I'll be moving backwards. Letting go of everything I've come to know and understand. I'll be letting go of all my convictions and passions, all my aspirations and objectives, all my history and what would be my future. I'll be letting of me. This is not me quiting, this is not me pretending. This is me taking God's grace and giving it back. I no longer want to be loved, I want to be love. I no longer want to be free, I want to be freedom itself. I don't want to live or die, I simply want to be. And to know this truth is to be in Godhood. Goals: 1. Ground myself in the present moment. 2. Let go of thought stories and beliefs. 3. Focus more on feelings than ideas. 4. Meditate every single day. 5. Stay aware of Love.

You won't go back unless you do something about it. The state you're in is not permanent because energy can still be manipulated with. The reason I say that witchdoctors/energy workers don't have that kind of power to induce a permanent state is because they exist in a realm/reality where energy is ever changing. I know that every human is capable of manipulating their own energy, most of the time there's always a reset button that un-does whatever state was induced, it's natural and requires serious focus. But, like I said, I don't know how exactly you can go about this. I've never had to do something like that, so I never bothered to learn more about it. But here's something basic that might help your case. Every person can attract energy, everyone. I'm not sure what the energy worker did to you but try to do the following. Focus your attention and entire energy on your life events, don't just meditate on them actually remember and try to feel every thing you've been through, all good and bad, remember what makes you who you are and actually dwell in that space. This is the reset button I was talking about. You can actually reconstruct your signature energy to be as it was before. Sorry for not responding soon enough, I actually didn't see your question. Hope all is well.

The ego first needs to be appreciated and understood, realising that the was never an ego will follow. The very belief is ego. One can't just realise that it's a belief then he will be free of obstruction because there was a time he knew nothing about ego and ego was present. I agree with this. But one can only accept their ignorance when they've seen it in action. It's not really about externalising ego, it's about identifying it. I have to be able to identify my obstruction in order to conquer it. Ego is imagined, yes. The idea that there is ego is the very effect of there being an ego. In order for me to rid ego I'll need to let go of all the beliefs that have led me to this belief, starting with the idea of an ego. I'll need to work backwards until I reach the belief of an I that now needs to work backwards. This is why I've defined ego as that which clings to imaginary form. Now instead of being attached I need to let go. Ego is non-existent, yes, but it's real. Reality is imaginary, so if course ego is imaginary. I'm not trying to externalise anything, I'm just simply stating that I'm aware of the work that needs to be done now. And that I had underestimated it before.

It's not the sense of self. What is your sense of self? It's all the sensations arising from the field of consciousness: the apparent localized 'personal' visual field, the apparent localized 'personal' auditory field, the apparent localized 'personal' sensational (touch) field, and etc.. These don't cease to exist when ego is no more, but yes.. without the sense of self - ego may not be able to exist. It's not thoughts/mind. If your mind is quiet because of some meditative state you're in - that doesn't mean that ego is no more. Ego is not mind activity. Thoughts are also just one of the sensations arising from consciousness: call it the mental field if you want. But it's also not localized nor is it personal. It's not a biological or psychological feature. The ego doesn't originate from the human form. Yes I can see how the human form has played a role in its creation but it's not responsible for it. Other people don't have egos, your ego is the only present ego until you die. Animals or other creatures don't have egos. EGO IS ATTACHMENT It's the attachment to imaginary form. Attachment is you right now believing/thinking that you're separate, that you're an individual. You are attached to the idea of being a separate self. Ego is not the idea of a separate self, ego is your attachment to that idea. Become aware of this and transcend ego. Ego death is literally the death of ego and not anything else, it's detachment and unification with Being. If you find something unclear from what I wrote then you're free to ask questions, otherwise go do self inquiry. Meditation helps too! ?

@VeganAwake signal bro ? I couldn't even finish the trailer. But from what I've heard they talk about what I've mostly read from 'The path of Sri Ramana', same content, right? But I'll check out the full video as soon as I can.

No, I haven't. I'll have to check it out at a later time. But you could give me the summary of its content if you will.

In order for one to truly have a ego death one must completely surrender his/her life. But that's not all, one must also genuinely realise that he/she never existed. It's a lot more difficult then it sounds. I've completely underestimated the work that needs to be done here. I was quick to assume that I understand what I'm dealing with. The ego is one god of a devil. It's very nature is attachment, that's how it survives. Clinging to ideas and stories that only have to do with it's survival, and by it I don't mean the body. Ego doesn't care about the survival of the body or anything that has to do with it, no. Ego only cares about preserving itself which is the feeling of being a separate self. With every attachment the mind is conditioned, and with every conditioning the ego is fed. Persuing enlightenment is itself perpetuating it's own preservation. You don't really want enlightenment. No, not really. Enlightenment is just something you've attached yourself to as a means to make your life more meaningful because the reality of it being meaningless terrifies you. You would rather take your chances with physical death than live a meaningless life, because meaninglessness is a direct threat to your survival. Ego is not something to be taken lightly. If anyone here is serious about realising truth then start taking your ego very very seriously, know it, appreciate it, and watch it. It's literally the biggest thing standing between you and your truth. Just saying...

Observing thought stories and letting them go as they pass. Tracing beliefs to their source without getting carried away with recurring ideas. Giving thoughts less attention and feelings more attention. These are goals set for as long as it takes to reach the source and become nothing.

What kind of questions should I be asking? That's if I should be asking questions. Practices? Excercises? I'm not trying to grasp it conceptually. I'm trying to realize how this reality is infinite and how everything is infinite the way Leo talks about it. I'm aware that nothing is permanent, everything is always changing and passing. I'm aware that now is an infinite moment. But I'm not directly aware of infinity, I'm only aware of finite forms. So how can I get to that realisation?

@Nahm , thank you so much for everything. I really really appreciate your help and input. Thank you ? And thank you everyone for the responses and engaging in my question. Your input genuinely does make a difference. THANK YOU ALL ???

Okay Isn't nothing like saying nonduality? There reason I can't look at a chair and see nothing, even in meditative states, is because I don't even have to imagine what that is for it to be apparent. Duality is apparent in consciousness, whether I recognise it or not. So I'm imagining that in nondual states, if I can call them that, there is no apparent difference between stuff and everything is one, with me included.

What do I make of the feeling of being a separate entity? Does it go away when I let go of the belief/recurring thoughts? So I'll be aware of how I'm imagining everything and how this is happening infinitely? I've always failed to see how everything is nothing. I've only entered meditative states where I stop imagining and everything becomes meaningless, literally. Surely nothing and meaninglessness aren't the same thing, are they?

Not sure how to go about this practically.

So when I realise nothing I'll be realising infinity? Is that what is being said here? @fridjonk we're quite in trouble mate.?

Yes, I can see that. That's what I mean by conditioning, my own reality has conditioned my mode of mind/thinking. Now, I can't help thinking like a human because I believe all those stories and thoughts from reality.

@Nahm Can there be a God on earth?..is basically what I'm asking. Is an enlightened person fully conscious that he/she is the truth? Awareness and knowing are the same thing right?

@Nahm I kinda see how I'm getting wrapped up in my own imagination, but am I not supposed to come up on top? Can God ever know that he is God? And I don't mean it like peace or liberation or whatever. I mean is God even capable of comprehending that he is God?

Am I thinking like a human because that's what I'm expressing or am I thinking like a human because my expression conditioned my imagination?

I've fooled myself? How so? Reverse the entire process of learning about myself? Reverse what? Define power, and I'll get right to it. When you say "the power of now" nothing comes to mind. Well, first of, the actuality of understanding seems to be passive rather than active. Although it appears as though I struggle to understand through thinking, I'm aware that thinking is effortless because it's actually just being. That's what I actually want. I want to know, not to make sense out of something, I want to see the light directly as it is. How does seeking distinction play a role in all of this?

Yes, I've been hearing that a lot but I just don't see how it's "tangled up" as you guys keep mentioning it.