Victor Mgazi

I understand that I'm God and so is everything else. But now, how do I go from directly seeing God in everyone and everything to having the direct experience of being God? I'm super curious ? Currently, in this present and infinite moment, I feel as if I'm drowning in the ocean LOVE but at the same time breathing more freely than ever. I'm free falling and simultaneously flying higher and higher. I can't describe this experience in conventional terms except for maybe ?... Nah, I can't describe it. Sometimes I feel like I've gone mad ? It's this.. it's too much. I'd sit in the living room staring at my family and seeing pure God expressing itself as my little brother who is without a worry in the world, or my lovely mother who is almost constantly worried about my little brother maybe hurting himself, and my younger teenage sister who's just glued to the screen of her phone. Walking outside, I'd see God in a hurry, God laughing his ass of with his group of friends, God sweeping the floor of her salon, God..God..God. And I'm constantly aware that all of this is out of LOVE and that that's who God ultimately is. So this leaves me wondering, How do I start seeing myself as God since I've already caught God?? behind the illusion of "reality"? I'm already aware of my conceptual self, I can see that he is too but an expression of God emerging from a rather personal POV from this field of consciousness. Aware of this, I also can't help but feel like the answer to that which I'm wondering is right in front of me but I'm missing it. Not that it bothers me. LMAO, nothing really bothers me anymore. Even the feeling of being bothersed is less stressful and somehow more fun. But yeah, to get to my point, what is it that I'm missing? How do I go from seeing God to being God. If seeing through the illusion isn't cutting it then what exactly will? Meditation feels ridiculously redundant now as I feel like I'm always in a meditative state.. too much peace of mind or something. Any pointers?

When I can I definitely will.?

This I'm already aware of. Of course I use these terms and concepts to communicate with you guys, but yeah I get it. I'm not sure whether or not it's "absolute experience" that I'm looking for. All I know is that I'm constantly aware of God being everything and everyone, I can look at 'evil' deep in the eyes and still see the love of God. Now I'd like to be aware of God being me or me being God. Am I making sense ??

I know that I am consciousness in the sense that everything that gives me the perception/belief of a self arises from consciousness. But when I attempt to go beyond this perception I literally end up nowhere and find nothing. There's just awareness. By the way, I use the term awareness differently from the term consciousness even though they were meant to be synonymous. Consciousness being this isness, and awareness being this unidentifiable ever present presence which can be said to be nothing. Does this awareness arise from consciousness also? I know the 'I am' in "I am aware" does.

What am I not though? I am only aware that I am not separable from "the mirror". But in terms of what I am.. I don't know, I'm not aware of that. @Inliytened1 @Nahm , I am aware that the strong sensation of 'I am' arises from consciousness. I'm aware that I'm really not separable from something 'else'. There is no else or other, there's only one.

Upon realizing how reality is absolutely One and that I was practically inseparable to it, I've also realized something utterly profound... God's soul. For me, soul has nothing to do with who you are but rather what you are in essence. Think of it as fundamental identity if you will. I discovered my true and higher self when I started getting into Kundalini meditation, and the way I live my life has drastically changed since then. Meditation and deep inquiry had helped with the dissolving of attachments and the exposing of the conceptual self. First, I realized how what I considered to be brain perception was actually not perception but consciousness itself. This, slowly but surely, led to my second realization: how I, myself, was in fact illusory and not separate from this sensory field of awareness. And finally, my latest awakening, knowing how it's all possible, how this miracle we call existence is happening. It's the answer prior to any question, prior to the when, the how, and the why. It's nothing, it's formless, it's utterly selfless. It's what let's everything you know, including yourself, exist. The answer is consciousness which I've understood to be the manifestation of God's love. When I look around I no longer see what I used to see before this whole thing started. Instead of seeing dumb, non-living objects, I see the formless taking form. Instead of seeing people with individual identities, I see the selfless taking upon a self. I see God become the space and substance of my world: the ground I walk on, the bed I lie on, the air I breathe. I see all this and can't help but feel deeply in love with everything and everyone. Every moment becomes a moment of beauty even at it's ugliest. It's all beautiful. Which brings me to the now. I know I'm God, and I'm in so much love with myself, hence I let every single part of the infinite me exist - including this dream of an individual me. I love this soul so much I let it live forever. Love is what I am and what I'll always be. Having found this much inner peace, what more can I possibly want? All I feel like doing is exploring the world, exploring this Life and creating beautiful things. What else could make me more content than this? I know myself and my deepest nature. What other spiritual enlightenment is there? What else could give me this peace?

Okay, so I've sat, introspected and contemplated on this topic trying to figure out how ego can drive one to a suicidal point. And after having tried to bring this case as close to experience as I possibly could through imagination and introspection, I realized that the only thing that would drive me to commit suicide is having to not fulfil my passion and somehow not live my life persuing my objective/will. Through these thoughts and feelings I realized that I would rather die than not explore this world we call reality and not tell stories. At the core of what I think to be my soul is a burning and very powerful desire or vision of exploring every world, every realm, every plane of existence and field of knowledge to the best of my ability, and then come back and share with whomever I can what I'd discovered in a very creative way whenever possible. That's what's driving me to live and endure every shitty moment that gets thrown at me. So I imagine doing anything but that would be driving me to die. Although, all that was still imaginary so in real life I know that what I would actually do is fight for my vision with every breath I had - even my last one. But that's just me. I'm sure there are other things that would drive one to a suicidal point like the feeling of not being loved or something as intense as that. So I guess not doing doing or fulfilling what you've deemed to be your purpose somehow makes the ego disfunctional which then leads to it's own self destruction..? I don't know. All I know is that if I were to have the closest, if not essential, thing to who I am or what defined my life removed - that would drive me insane.. and possibly dead. But all this just makes me wonder whether or not there is a deeper purpose to the ego, or whatever this biological mechanism is ,besides survival. I mean I don't know about every one else but I wouldn't care much about my life if it felt pointless. Not a damn much. So yeah, that's wassup ?

Is committing suicide something that is fundamentally driven by ego or by something else? This question comes to mind when you think about the core purpose of the ego which is thought to be self preservation or the arousal of a sense of self for the sake of self preservation. Either way, if that's the case then how or what drives people to commit suicide considering the nature of the ego. Is it ego? Or is it something that's trying to escape the reality of the ego? Can someone clear this up for me? I've been pondering on this for quite some time now.

@rNOW @MrDmitriiV @Raw Nature @Robert Leavitt , I really appreciate this feedback as it's helping me understand the nature for suicidal acts/behavior. I think it's such an interesting topic just from how it hits home with most of us. Okay. I feel like I still have a lot of work to do before I understand this, mainly because of the questions that are outstaying their welcome in my mind. People, according to what I've gathered so far, would attempt suicide because they have "given up with life" or because "their fear of tomorrow/unknown is greater than their fear of death" or because "they're trying to escape human suffering having already known that death is not the end", basically. So far, shifting the perspective of identity seems to be how many suicide related mind states have been resolved. Unless I'm missing something else. So, although the answer to my initial questions clearly appears to be yes.. it's all ego, I'm going to have to try to find out where things went wrong. We all live with our own individual ego but not all of us are being tempted to commit suicide, right? I've also had a great deal of suffering being brought to my life but it never drove me to a suicidal point. Hence, I'm really curious. Does ego want to die because it hates its identity and life, or because it loves itself too much? Anyway, thanks again guys ✌️

Thanks for the responses everyone. @MrDmitriiV So, in other words, only when ego identifies itself with consciousness can people go through with it? That's what I'm hearing regarding the whole instinct and consciousness being "free" point. @Anna1 Thank you so much for sharing. May I ask what was your greatest fear at the time - that ultimately drove you to attempt to commit suicide, if you can say? @Rigel I mean it's a possibility right? @Nahm Probably because the audience was at a different stage compared with the writer. I'd like to see the movie though, it sounds interesting. @Raw Nature Thanks for the detailed explanation along with the excellent scenario, although your level of English is way higher than mine, buddy ? Anyway, would you say this "imbalance" has anything to do with fear?

@Dylan Page hey. It's a pretty reasonable fear. You don't want to die before having achieved your vision or purpose, as you put it, in life right? Because then your life would have ultimately been pointless. That's my take on this whole thing. So then, you can either master control over your life, get a good grip on that steering wheel and lead yourself to that vision by fighting with every breath for the sake of your survival. Or you could let go of the steering wheel and trust in whatever that has kept you alive up until this very moment, trust that whatever source of your will and drive/your soul purpose, trust that it will lead you to that vision. Because, I'm telling you right now, you're not here today by chance or by your own doings, you're not alive now because of your actions. If death wanted you already then you would be gone my friend. It's good that you know what you would like to do with your life because then it becomes clear that you have a soul, and that you're not just some robot wandering around seeking "meaningless pleasure". Now, trust in that self evident fact that you have a soul and wish to fulfil your soul purpose/will. Also, trust in the source of that will which is your higher self. And finally, trust in God's love which recognized you (your true self and will) out of infinite potential souls and made it possible for you to exist through his consciousness. And as long as you have a will and you're true to yourself, then you have nothing to fear because your will is God's will. You have absolutely nothing to fear when you recognize God's love, you won't fear physical death or the unknown. This, what most people call consciousness, all of it is just the manifestation of God's love so that you can be/exist. It's all for you, all for your soul/ true self. You're not here to suffer or prove a point to anyone other than yourself. You're here because you're part of God and God is here. Trust my friend. Because only faith can conquer fear. Good luck ✨

@WellbeingSeeker hey No, I haven't.

@WellbeingSeeker here's a testimony. Before I realized God's love my whole life was based on fear. Anxiety and depression, great anger and sorrow, these were the highlights of most of teenage years. But now that I'm conscious of God's soul I no longer fear anything. I feel free. I don't know what religion you would categorize this to be though. You can call what you will. Oh and regarding the "spiritual realm" , spirits are just forms of energy, so this reality is already of the spirit realm. Good luck with your project ✨

Yes I have followed the links but they don't really reveal much about you, which is what I'm interested in: learning more about you. That's if you don't mind. I have heard and learned a lot about enlightenment , but not much on it's effect on the average person. I've heard about the eternal state of bliss or the end of suffering, merging with the very fabric of reality, becoming infinite, awakening from our 'dream state' and on and... But then at this moment in time I don't feel like I want to stop any suffering or confusion or experiencing what people tend to refer to as ego death and all of that. I'm quite satisfied with the way things are right now. But I am interested in the effects, in terms of how you go about your daily life and see the world. Which brings me to this second question: What are your ingredients of identifying that you'd consider true? You say "Truth cannot be an object of awareness.", what 'tool/tools' did you use to draw this conclusion.

@winterknight @winterknight Can you elaborate on this statement. Are you referring to truth in general or a specific truth when you say "Truth cannot be an object of awareness."?

@winterknight @winterknight Are you aware of a Truth? Maybe one that is foremost and you hold high.

[To be read only when you've settled down.] PS. By consciousness in this post, I'm referring to not an abstract but this awareness of what is there. Mark 11: 23 "For I truly say to you, that whoever shall say to this mountain, 'be you removed and be you cast into the sea' ; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he said shall come to pass; he shall have whatever he said." You are a creator, orchestrating the events that are unfolding now, in this infinite moment, of your life. I'll start off by stating that when I use the word 'creator' I simply mean not what you consider to be creation(existence). So you are not your body nor are you the result of it, but rather something far more remarkable. You are it's maker. If you believe that you are the body then you most probably believe that you are alive, and like all other living things, you're yet to die. But to all those materialistic thinkers, can you pin point exactly where life begins and ends? Can you really differentiate between you and a cloud drifting in the sky? Just try and you'll fail. There is no difference other than one is a really complex occurrence and the other is so simple it's considered non-living. That's right an occurrence, that's all your body is, it's an event. Cells die and new ones are formed, worn out cells are being replaced, your skin is constantly shedding what was once considered a part of you, nothing is fixed about you, the atoms that make up your body are not the same atoms you had a year ago. Your thoughts, emotions and feelings all arise and pass, just like any other event. Here's another point you should consider: If you are the body then what are you made of? Particles? What are particles made of? You already see where this is going. What is matter essentially? Which brings me to my main discussion. Assuming that you are familiar with quantum physics then you should know that what we call matter - has no substance to it, it's nature is immaterial. Break down a subatomic particle and all you'll be left with is a wide range of possibilities, nothing tangible just possibilities. And various scientific experiments have shown just that. So really what are you? If reality is made up of possibilities then why this one? Why are we aware of this one instead of the other in this infinite range of possibilities? Just take a look at the Double Slit Experiment and you'll know what I'm talking about. And even in this day I still find people who tell me that such cases are of the quantum realm and are of irrelevance to what happens here in the macro world. But then where does the macro begin to break down into the quantum, where do rules of physics begin to apply and not apply? Can we pin point that? That is not even a valid statement because there are other experiments that have proven the distinction between quantum and macro to be illusory. And the most famous method used to do that involved quantum entanglement, but instead of using subatomic particles; entangled monstrous molecules were used. But here's the most important question. If experiments such as the Double Slit Experiment show us that without observation (which is really directed awareness) everything is happening at once, then who or what is directing these events/occurrences in our field of awareness? If reality is made up of infinite possibilities then why this one, who or what chose this one? If you at some point in your life that everything that is happening now makes sense then you should reconsider that notion. Reality is nonsensical. But like an every day dream we'll only realise this when we awaken to this. All these questions seem like they are impossible to answer, especially if you still hold the materialistic paradigm. But actually all these questions that I've stated have already been answered centuries ago, and we can still find these answers in our religious texts. Problem is nowadays we can no longer easily access raw untamed scripture. Scriptures have been misinterpreted, mistranslated, edited, omitted... So much so that it's now a complete mess. But even so perhaps you might still understand this one. Jesus referred to the devil as the ruler of this world (John 12: 31), for the sake of reading this post, let go of the concepts of good and evil. Now, by definition - you (ego) are the devil and have temporary authority over this world until you are united with The Father (God). And depending on what level of consciousness you are on, you are bringing forth the experience being witnessed. If your level is low then you are probably referring to this phenomenon as the Law Of Attraction. But if you're on a higher vibratory frequency then you're being considered a miracle performer or some master. Being at a low frequency means only just noticing the glitches in the matrix, like your moments of deja vu or dreams apparently manifesting into reality. People who truly transcended are very much real and present. They are healing people with untreatable diseases or disabilities, witnessing future events, etc. You are what you believe you are, and reality is what you believe it is. Your beliefs are embedded in your subconscious level which really is the conscious level you are not aware of. The mind has no limits for it not of this body. I've experienced inexplicable things that can only be understood through direct experience and I'm still growing. Things that I wants thought were impossible but turned out only impossible is impossible. There are no rules here except the ones we create. Reality is meaningless, and knowledge is bondage. Thank you if you read this thus far and I hope that it atleast opens your mind up to your untapped potential. I'm no longer spending much time here because I've been working on practice a lot. So should questions arise, I'll probably only see them later.

Dreams are weird, but also quite revealing. I had a similar dream once or twice, years ago. And well, it also involved a devil or demon trying to kill me or torture... But long story short, at the end of the dream I realized that I wasn't afraid of death, even now, because I don’t believe in death. So now I live my life somewhat fearlessly. Any way I really don’t know what your dream is suppose to mean but maybe you can figure it out since it's personal to you. My advice is try to reflect on it with 100% sincerity, don't try to make things relatable if they aren't or look for things that are not there. focus on actuality, like your feelings and changes in your psyche.

In the midst of all this chaos and noise induced by enquiry - there is silence. Deep in the ocean of confusion where cries and crisis flourishes - there's silence. Where there's a wide range of colors there's an absence of sight. Where there's a high population of feelings and emotion, there's numbness. It's not peaceful nor is it dreadful; it just Is - Silence. And in this silence - Meaning screams for attention, so much so that the deaf can hear this outcry. Hear the questions, hear the answers. But will you ever stop and hear the silence?

I do encourage radical open mindedness, like being open minded to the possibility that everything you know might be incorrect. But from observation alone I can confidently say that as people we cannot handle not being grounded on some sort of information or knowledge. We aren't free unless we are in bondage. This I say because I do believe that knowledge is bondage. When you believe (even think) that you know something as a truth, you have limited yourself only to that supposed fact, therefore any thing else will appear to be false and all other sorts of negative connotations will be projected onto what is believed not to be true. E.g) If you can't accept the possibility that 1+1 can = 0 than you are not only bound but also limited. Hence most of us won't realise our God like nature in this life time, and thus our potential remains untapped.

@winterknight What would it mean to you if a master, perhaps your favorite teacher, told you that you've not truly experienced enlightenment? PS: Not looking for a nondual type of answer, but a genuine one.

Yeah it's definitely possible. And the fucked up part is that you won't know that you've stopped - until you start thinking again. It's a moment were 'you' are no more, along with the rest of...what we call existence. The sad part is that you won't be able to enlighten your folks about it because you won't be able to communicate such.

The human and consciousness are actually one and the same thing. So there is no relationship here because there is no duality. The human is conscious because the human is consciousness. Ultimately everything is consciousness. Make sense?

Instead of trying to remove the ego, try to remove the remover, and see where that leads you.

Our life? What do you mean by this? I don’t believe in free will but neither do I believe in determinism. With freewill it's pretty simple why I don't, it's because even if it did exist, there wouldn't be anyone to use it or take possession of it which then defeats the purpose of its supposed existence. And with determinism...well it implies a cause (causation), which then entertains the idea of a past and inevitably, a future. I don't believe in anything out of consciousness, and since the past has never been observed along with the future, I don't consider them to be more than just figments of our imagination. However, I do believe that the way people react (like the choices that they make) is, in a sense, "programmed" because there has to be some sort of mechanism guiding the decision making process by all entities, regardless of whether biological or technological, otherwise we would all be like stones and not react when we... I don't know, find ourselves at the bottom of a lake with no access of air. There has to be some system conducting all of life, maybe EVOLUTION could be it. Ultimately anything is possible, these are just my thoughts.