LordFall

I mean bro, with the relationship history you’ve shared across this thread, you might want to sit down and introspect on what love actually means to you and where your blind spots are around it. When someone says "I don't need to deconstruct it, I know what it feels like," on a self-actualization forum, I think that's a pretty clear hint of a shadow hiding somewhere there. Feeling the high of love or infatuation doesn't mean you understand the mechanics of how it works especially if you've had many relationships that end in volatile ways.

Not at all. You seem to not have taken the time to deconstruct love and examine both what it means for you and how it's shown up in human history as a whole. This is a good video where the anthropologist Helen Fisher talks about making love her PhD thesis and researching the difference between infatuation and alignment in a relationship.

Nah if people stick together beyond infatuation and they're not compatible that's classic codependency. Most people men and women have not studied or practiced dating strategy and don't know how to attract high quality partners into their life and therefore are desperate and in scarcity. That fact alone explains most toxic relationships.

@Joshe Thanks for breaking it down, that's what I mean yes. After the chemical cocktail is gone from her brain, the woman should be able to sit down and think about the relationship and think "holy FUCK I can't believe I found this man! My life with him is gonna be awesome!" That's truly the only thing apart from Sharia law that will tie your woman to you basically forever. That's why a lot of conservative men like the idea of taking women's rights away, it stops them from having to compete against other men in the dating marketplace. Most men especially now with women dominating the job marketplace don't really offer that much value and I think that's central to the dating crisis. Men also have a cognitive bias towards rebellion and self-determination as opposed to bending down to the system and the laws of the universe, so it seems to be difficult for a lot of us to just work towards becoming a more valuable man.

Nah I think the overall life alignment is the only true answer. Sex gives good emotions but women can be pretty ruthless about that if you stop offering value. Women are famous for inwardly breaking up with men months before the actual breakup happens. There are famous examples of this in history. Queen Elizabeth I is famous for having her favorite lover Robert Devereux executed for example. Some women are more ruthless than others but in general I think intellectual compatibility is overlooked by people. If you guys talk and she realizes you aren't connecting with her needs and desires and she can't sway you verbally then she will start untangling herself from you.

Never with two girls, only picking up a chick with my roommate and fucking her together. It sounds phenonemal, I really want to rent a nice cabin with a hot tub, sauna and lake and chill there for 1-2 weeks with 2-3 girls and just step away from the world and just work on my stuff and enjoy my women away from society. We did a cabin trip with my buddies a few years ago and had 4 dudes and 6 women and it was a blast, almost ended up with everyone going skinny dipping. It was fun but having other men there ruins the vibe though.

Yeah could be, idk my main interest is mostly in closed polycules and threesomes with outside girls and my main chicks. I meant more like if one of my girls wants to try it out with an old flame and then decide if she wants to stay in the polycule or back to him. I don't think I would mesh with a woman that specifically likes seeing other men regularly, sounds like too much of an extroverted hedonist for me. I tend to like more introverted women that have a deep relationship with themselves, probably are sapiosexuals and are looking for dominant man.

Seems like in general you're in scarcity. Practice some game and build some social capital so many attractive and cool women want to date you and I think this problem will solve itself.

Sure so you mean infatuation then? A lot of times people "fall in love" with people that are toxic for them and it leads to messy breakups down the line. I don't think that's an admirable type of love. I think true love includes both genuine infatuation with the other but also alignment with your goals and desires so you can keep dating them for long periods of time without predictable issues coming up to ruin it.

Of course, feelings are important and of course polyamorous relationships will invoke stronger feelings in both directions than a vanilla monogamous relationships. Usually people in poly that hook up with others outside of their main partner have certain rules they follow like they check in a certain amount of times and they either don't allow sleepovers or do depending on the couples. For me being able to depend on the individual is the most important if I'm gonna intertwine my life intimately with others. So if I had multiple girlfriends and one of them told me upfront she has some type of feelings for another dude and wants to go hookup with him and keeps up communication throughout the process and tells me after hey that was awesome, not gonna see him again or hey that was awesome I wanna keep seeing him or hey that was awesome, I'm breaking up with you to go date him that's all fine with me as long as I'm not in the dark anxious about what's going on. This is why in general poly couples have much stronger communication and emotional awareness than monogamous couples because there are more layers to navigate and negotiate in their relationships.

Falling in love is so hard to define and quantify though. It can include codependent love, shallow short term infatuation like new relationship energy in polyamory, bipolar type love where someone loves you and then you offend them and they hate you 1 hour later, etc

I'm more systematic than most. I like systems and rules so I'm heavily drawn to particularly building a BDSM polycule and having strict protocols involved with rewards, funishments and punishments involved. For example now with my newfound interest in fashion picking my girlfriends' outfits daily is gonna be clearly a protocol I'm pulled into. Other ones are journaling based protocols and some more sex related stuff I'll leave out of it for the delicate minds on the forum lol That may not appeal to everyone but I think it's important to familiarize yourself with the different models of relationships that are out there and build your custom dream relationship instead of accepting the cookie cutter serial monogamy mainstream model.

This is one of the most evil masterminds in the whole multiverse. He must be stopped at all costs, ready the army @Yimpa we're going in for the kill

That's fair. I find his content to be a good synthesis of what's going on in the world. I don't really have the time to follow other content creators that make more like 30 min to 1 hour segments. I learn a few things from Zeihan and think about them for a while and ask AI to elaborate on the trends he's pointing to and then I move on with my day. Like for this one today, people have been talking about Trump being a Russian asset for a while. It felt like mostly empty speculation for a while but now it seems that he's working on strengthening ties to North Korea( which is a Russian ally) and being aggressive towards Europe. So we're slowly seeing the shape of a US-Russia-China triumvirate taking form.

Yes I would double check the conclusions and try to form your own but the actual information and analysis is pretty top notch