LordFall

It's all good I can get defensive as well. I apologize for not understanding what you were trying to communicate. The line between confidence and arrogance is thin, it's hard to always fall on the right side of it for me at least.

Seems like you're stuck in escapism. Try to elaborate on what exactly is keeping you stuck and what your fear is based on and we can give you some outside perspective. You can also vent it out to an AI that helps me break things down when I can't make sense of a situation in my life.

That makes sense. We are on a self-development forum though and thus I will keep offering advice to those that want it. I've worked a lot on this area of my life and it seems to be taking me where I want to whereas a lot of people still spin their wheels in the mud. I like to argue so people that claim things with certainty over things that are quite nuanced trigger me. I hope I gave you an interesting perspective to ponder.

It's all good we're only human learning to be superhuman! Have a good day friend

I mean before I say this I wanna emphasize I do not see this as frame control and I am going through this in good faith but clearly you lack some emotional intelligence bro. Don't you see how this is going full circle to how you feel about people as a whole? This was a perfect showcase. You're not empathizing with Schizophonia you're like hitting him with statements. That's not how any type of growth based conversation or coaching is done.

I just mean that I seem to have more sexual energy and desire to explore with different people more than the average person. Dating people in a polycule would be stressful and chaotic for most people but to me that sounds exciting and fulfilling. @Natasha Tori Maru is right that I tend to portray my way as the best one, I should be better in how I communicate. I mean to say that the problems I've seen talked about in this thread I have also encountered and I aim to share the solutions I have found to break through them for those that so desire. Good you got this. Here is a good video on the types of pictures you should be going for to have a well rounded profile

Brother I think you're projecting. I've admitted to being wrong and still learning in my journey many times in this thread. You're refused to admit that your perspective might be wrong and tripled down on it. I'm definitely an INTP, just more ambitious than most I would say. This is my passion and what I've spend over a decade building. I have not much ego tied in it, I have a lot of thoughts on it because this is what I spend my days working on and thinking about and I've met hundreds of people in the field and thus have a lot of reference experience to pull from.

I can relate to a lot of this, especially before I started my journey. The first thing that jumps to me is well yeah if you watch porn especially hardcore porn daily then that's gonna take a sledgehammer to your dopamine reward system and make sexuality feel flat. If you're into particularly unorthodox paraphilias it's perhaps helpful to deconstruct that as it'll point you towards different parts of your psyche that you're unaware of. This is a good Teal Swan video where she talks on it. You don't have to open your whole closet of skeletons in public but perhaps AI can help you deconstruct it. @Sugarcoat Fair enough. I did miss your comment about letting the sexual energy build up instead of needing to transmute it into action. I'll ponder on that, I had an interesting experience yesterday going out with basically my nervous system lighting on fire and experiencing full body bliss while I was meditating at an outdoor event. It was quite wonderful, never experienced something like that before. Even expanding on my inner thoughts in this thread has been liberating for me as it's things I've thought about but not really expressed in this much depth before. The conclusion I came to is I have perhaps more libido than the average person and need to build a bigger container than most to express it.

@Sugarcoat Feel free to elaborate if you feel like I didn't get to the root of your question or observation. @Schizophonia All good bro the rest happens in your real life. What are you gonna do this week and this month to take action on what we've talked about? If you find it worth it to develop these connections organically then I 100% know you can do it. The rest is on you frero. Also to touch on the asexual comment once more hopefully you're not watching too much porn. It's very easy to suppress your libido through that especially adding neuroticism unto it.

How come?

Partly correct, I'm not talking solely about an internal state. That's great but that can be transient and doesn't really do much with your relationship to the outside world. What I'm pointing to is becoming a powerful person in your local community and the world as a whole. Dating is the intimacy based part of it and social circle/social media is the communal, business and global impact side of it. To me what's what a stage yellow developed life looks like.

What? It's a good thread and we're each sharing our perspective. What is unproductive about this conversation? Seems like perhaps you're not a fan of chaos in general and run from it. Confronting all our shadows is how we grow as people. Poking at each other's weaknesses is good. We should welcome it. I mean it's common for people that lack experience to have a similar perspective. I've clearly stated throughout the thread that if you're happy with your current circumstances then there is no need to change it. I have said that I'm not yet where I want to be in life and working each day towards it and enjoying the journey. To me an identity is constantly evolving. @Natasha Tori Maru I use weed more than I want to and it's for sure stopping me from reaching the peak effectiveness that I seek. I don't really fall into escapism though just underperformance the way I see it. It's made my business less effective than I want it to be and reduced my cashflow stability to be more precise. What appeals to you about asexuality? Is it truly what you desire or it's just easier and safer than confronting your shortcomings? I think it's possible to go quite deep with one person but a lot of people use it as a mask for avoiding development. For example if you scroll through Reddit a lot of relationship issues that you see come up both in a communication, emotional and sexual term stems clearly from a lack of self exploration and overall underdevelopment. That's the common societal narrative, I'm a lone self in this world oh I found someone who accepts me let's settle down and see what happens. Not saying that's ALL monogamous couples just a lot and the majority. I identify with all people and humanity as a whole so settling down with the first woman I like doesn't really appeal to me. As you can see my perspective is one of exploration and discovery with many people. I wouldn't say I don't aim to go deep as opposed to narrow, I think you should do both to explore all that life has to offer in that regard. Once I get settled into polyamory I will have children with the partners I have found the most joy and stability with and build something like a homestead where I grow my own food, raise animals and do international business with my communities across the world.

@Natasha Tori Maru When someone says humans are profound waste of time that say nothing, that does not sound like someone rational to me. Does it to you? That sounds to me like someone who's jaded and gave up. I think my way is the correct way to engage with the world because it doesn't get me nor the people I see adopting it to that result. @integral I'm not talking about idealism. Feeling the way you feel is common, as I said it's covered in the video I linked above. If you wanna look at paradigms that lead to getting out of it as idealism then that seems like a closed off perspective more than reality. @WonderSeeker Which of my assumptions were wrong? I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and explain some things that you've said from what I know about psychology and sexuality. I could totally be wrong.

I don’t know I haven’t talked to him about it. Perhaps he enjoys the life he has now. You don’t need to have a massive impact if you don’t want to. The way you were talking about it sounded more like you were resigning yourself to that lifestyle versus something that you find deep peace and fulfillment in. Also once more if you have all these qualms about society why not have an impact on it instead of being the grumpy guy on the forum about it? Thats where my victim mindset comment was coming from. It reminds me of my brother who just finished uni in Montreal and he has a communist streak to him and complains about the economy. I asked him why don’t we start a business together then and make a lot of money and then you’ll either not worry about the economy or be in a better position to change it; we’ll see how that goes. I fundamentally believe in being at the cause not to the effect of our reality. There is a lot of change even one person can make on the world.

There is a great Owen cook whole hour and a half video on this, I highly recommend you watch it. You're not the only one that feels this way, most men give up around 40. If you're saying that you're experiencing connection with others as pain and burden then that's a diagnostic sign towards lack of alignment. If done right helping others should feel like basically hedonism like you're using your skills that you've built to solve someone else's problem and then they're grateful that you helped them solve it and say X person is such a cool person they've helped me; a virtuous cycle. Easier than done for sure but it can be done, I'm just starting to tap into it with my creative communities feels good. Also I'm 31, for sure I get to be in the wise elder category now