LordFall

Solid work pushing through and hitting 20 sets. Most guys talk about it for months and never step up to do even one. When you're pulling that kind of volume, patterns start showing real fast. How are the sets actually breaking down once you open? Are you getting good hooks and conversations that lead to dates, or is it mostly quick blow-offs and polite numbers that flake? Curious where you feel you're clicking and where the bottleneck is right now.

Episode 1 racer was sick. I've never really gotten into multiplayer racing games though so hopefully it has a cool single player campaign. I see your point but have you watched the Maul show? It was actually sick, they showed him running his underworld syndicate and it falling apart and the showdown vs Vader was insane. Must watch if you haven't already.

I have at least 2 grey hairs I swear. I tend to project my desires unto others and assume we want a similar life but I mean by goals are pretty basic. Abundance in a nutshell. Abundance of purpose, abundance of money, abundance of women, abundance of sex, abundance of love, abundance of impact, etc. Who wouldn't want this? I think only limiting beliefs get in the way of an abundant life.

I mean I disagree completely, romanticizing aging is just a necessity of being stuck in bodies that break down over time. It's not because technology helps us bypass this process that growth will stop being possible. It seems also conclusive that this trend is happening so we can have this conversation again in 200 years and see if it led to the stagnation of mankind or the unimaginably beautiful renaissance that I believe will take place I agree on the core of inceldom being based on a victim mindset though. There is usually a bitterness and resentment associated to it that makes the celibacy even harder to break since people don't tend to like dating bitter people. Plenty of female incels as well that are miserable people to be around. It goes full circle to the transactional nature of dating. Being a pleasant person is a huge value giver.

I think you're right that self-awareness and knowing what you want is important. Offering value and getting value are core parts of relationships and getting a hot partner that doesn't offer much else is pretty useless. As anti-aging becomes more and more viable though beauty becomes more valuable as well since it starts to not fade over time. Depends how far down the rabbit hole you wanna go but I think there are good chances humans are able to become biologically immortal in the next 20-30 years and that will rewrite a lot of the rules of relationships as we know them. Compatibility over time will become even more important as a lot of marriages are currently built around childrearing and not really getting along as people. If we can live for 500 years+ that concept will become vital though. As well as being able to attract mates for casual sex. Incels are still fucked in this timeline (not literally for them unfortunately) and will be stuck with AI girlfriends even in a post scarcity society.

Leo Gura -> Bald Alain de Botton -> Bald Aang the last airbender and Avatar -> Bald Perhaps hair is the impediment to being able to channel peak high consciousness? Should I shave it all boys and girls? On a more serious note, let's not reduce sex appeal to wanting to impress other people. Having a hot wife because you enjoy fucking hot people makes sense, Occam's razor is a real thing. Levelling up enough to attract in demand people is hard, let's not fall for the cognitive bias of sour grapes here.

What?

That's an interesting framework. I think it's not the full psychological picture though. I do think some men have a trophy wife sort of psychology and are attracted to women other men find hot. There are also plenty of others and perhaps the majority that are turned off by the competitive aspect and specifically like the diamond in the rough kind of woman or man. Plenty of people are also turned off by narcissistic women who think too highly of themselves. Some others are drawn to that. I think my analysis that mimetic desire encompasses only about 30-40% of dating attraction should be accurate if we found a way to quantify it objectively. If we're talking about myself personally though I do love a slightly obsessed woman that's high maintenance like my own little princess. I would be way turned off by a woman with low self-esteem. I'm trying to think of why that is I think part of it is indeed if she thinks she's the shit then perhaps she's right but it's also the fact that low self-esteem people have all kinds of neurosis that I'm not particularly looking to deal with.

Remember don't be silly, wrap your willy.

I don't think you need to overthink it. "Hey X, came across your profile and figured we should stay in touch. If you're ever back in Y place again, hit me up. What's your number?"

@BlessedLion Exactly. It's not because some men lack the integrity to have casual sex responsibly that it's a negative concept entirely. A lot of business people are unethical, it doesn't mean we should sleep in the forest to protest against the evils of the real estate industry. Especially because we're hopefully not just doing social commentary here, there are life strategies to adopt. I've been greatly enriched by the women I've had both long term and short term relationships with. Also women benefit greatly from being attractive and appealing to the male gaze. If you take a starting point of both genders just being blank canvases then one of the best possible imaginable survival and competitive strategies would be somehow turning yourself into an object of desire for half of the population so that they are inspired to work on your behalf. Being a bottle girl in a nightclub is an entry level position that requires no experience and pays $5,000-15,000 a month in big cities. I've never heard of a bottle boy. There is such a thing as a busboy though, it's the dude that comes to wipe your table after you've finished enjoying your bottle. They get paid minimum wage and like 5% of the girls tips at the end of the shift. @Asayake That is what the discussion was about. People are saying that you should be single or currently in a relationship working towards marriage and if you're engaging in casual relationships you're either getting exploited or the one doing the exploitation. That seems like a reductive view to me. When two consenting adults date casually, enjoy each other's time, part ways respectfully on good terms, and move forward into relationships they genuinely want then to me that is an arrangement running a healthy, natural course. Reflecting on a shared past with positivity is normal emotional maturity; nobody is trapped, nobody was coerced, and nobody was infantilized. Sometimes people push on others insecurities and trauma to get what they want but to assume that this is the undermining of all casual relationships shows a massive bias and unintegrated relationship to sexuality IMO. We had a great time while FWBs, watched movies, cuddled, fucked in all kinds of crazy places, went out to festivals in the summer, she hung out with my friend group and had a good time and we kept in touch for months talking here and there while she was in her relationship. Your weird assumptions reek of resentment my friend. Have you ever had a girlfriend or FWBs before? When I was more inexperienced in my youth I was also bitter about people having an active sex life. In life there are two main options though, getting bitter or getting better. If you'd like to work on your dating and sex life feel free to elaborate on your issues and we can work on it. I used to be a dating photographer, this niche of life is my specialty.

It's often helped me to give a voice to these feelings of anxiety so I can understand what my subconscious is going through. What exactly is your mind telling through these feelings of nervousness? That you should wait and approach later? That what if other guys see you approaching? That the girl isn't gonna like you anyway? That you got other better things to be doing? That you should and and approach hotter girls? That you should wait next week to approach? Once you understand the foundation of the resistance you're encountering, it'll be much easier to overcome it.

Women need men as a collective through the state but not really individual men for the most part. That’s precisely why the percentage of single, self-sufficient women keeps climbing. If a man thinks he's "food, water, and shelter" in modern dating, he's projecting a 1950s survival dynamic onto an era where women are selecting for genuine lifestyle, polarity, and excitement and don't need basic utility.

What is the angle against the left? She's basically be institutionalized for life there isn't really another plausible outcome. Mistrial is not its gonna end like that. You think she was pressured into a trad-wife life and hated it and this was her flip out moment? It makes sense but I can't really wrap my mind around it, seems quite insane.

If you're happy and satisfied, that's what matters.

You decide your destiny my man. Most men basically quit on their own life around 40 and don't grow much past then. I think what you need is a new 24 year old GF to bring some energy back into your routine. Hugh Hefner was still seeing new chicks into his 80s. He married his 3rd wife Crystal Harris at 86 years old when she was 26. That guy was riding the wave for sure. He did a lot of shitty things, but he was truly a man of impact that shaped our culture til today. My castle will be even cooler and of course bigger than the playboy mansion ever was.

I still think you guys are weirdly thinking about casual sex. What makes you think being fully single is the only way to work on yourself? Why can't she see a guy even if it's not gonna be her forever partner? The fact that their FWB lasted for 2 years if anything tells us that there was a lot of alignment there even if they weren't compatible as long term romantic partners. Monogamy is not the only valid relationship format that works for humans. It's a very puritan view of the world.

What do you think of the holding frame concept?

In systems theory the two top type of systems are complicated systems and complex systems. Complicated systems are well complicated and have a lot of rules that you can eventually master. A complex system's rules cannot really be mastered as they are emergent and ever changing. From the human vantage point, reality, love, and relationships are inherently complex systems. You don't beat a complex system with a rigid, one-size-fits-all rulebook. You navigate it through adaptability, high awareness, and feedback loops. Your best bet is practicing surfing and making sure you learn how to get back up on the board as easily as possible or getting on a nice yacht to enjoy the ride. Some people like to stay on the shore and play it safe. That’s never been my style, and knowing you, I doubt it’s yours either.

You embark on a quest of great importance on behalf of science and the universe itself. What is the perfect number of girlfriends? It's so hard to tell, no man truly has that answer. There are a specific number of atoms in the universe but the perfect number of women to have in your life? Physics can't help us here. Only the boldest will choose to go on this quest! Not for the weak.

You can bake that into your relationship and do threesomes with your woman. If you betray your woman though that ruins your chance at true love. It is important to get your needs and desires met though, I will give you that. Self-awareness and knowing what you want and what will make you snap towards unhealthy ways of getting those desires met is important.

Someone did find out. You did. I think if you want true love you should never lie to your women. It's like one soul in multiple bodies, it shouldn't lie to itself. Another way to look at it is people holding a chain that keeps them together. If you let it go, it's over. Doesn't matter how long it takes for the relationship to unravel itself after that. That's why dating apps are so important so you can take charge of your dating life and don't feel like random girls throwing themselves at you is very valuable. Polyamory is based on high trust and high communication. So if you want to fuck someone outside of your relationship you have to voice that and let your partner work through the emotions until they give you permission or veto it. If you YOLO it and fuck people left and right it's never gonna work.

In polyamory there is a concept called poly saturation which is the point where a polyamororous relationship reaches its limit with additional partners in terms of the time or emotional bandwidth to manage new relationships. I think if you engage in ethical non monogamy you will naturally hit that point where sleeping with new women causes no net benefit and starts to hinder your relationship even if you have two girlfriends at home that are genuinely okay with you sleeping with new women. The cool thing is that each person and couple has their own polysaturation quota. For monogamous people it's 1 and for some polyamorous people it's 2 partners and for some it's 6 partners. It's beautiful quest to find that out IMO and I have no fucking clue what mine will be. I quite like the idea of a quad and having 3 girlfriends. I came to that idea before I truly embraced my bisexuality though so perhaps I will add 2 boyfriends to that and predict that my ideal polycule will feature 6 people total. Who knows will it hold up or will it be lower or higher? Find out on the next episode of LordFall's love life! Also people don't like talking about this but your material abundance plays a massive role in this. If you are broke and financially stressed then it'll be much harder to handle multiple partners. If you are rich and stressed and working all the time it'll be equally as hard. If you have a fat stack of cash and don't have to work for the rest of your life then I imagine it'll be much easier to focus on your dating life and just build a thriving household with multiple partners. So each person has to account for their financial and career realities and what that looks like for them over the next 30 years. For me I have been obsessed with building multiple streams of income and financial leverage for about 10 years now mostly for that reason but also for my own peace of mind and independence. It's finally starting to bear fruits so in the next few years I should be set to prioritize dating and have my personal finances taken care of. AI is also a blessing for people in terms of work life balance and mastering it is a key to have a truly high quality dating life. I think that's a stage yellow insight that most will miss especially stage green folks that demonize AI.

I find what you're saying very fascinating because it's power dynamics 101. I think your advice is probably correct for most women. I don't know if this is fully accurate but it's worth exploring deeper. I think what you're describing is close to putting women on a pedestal and submitting to the divine feminine ideal. I think this can work sometimes for men but it can also spectacularly backfire. This is actually quite high level in terms of dating dynamics because I don't think any science that mankind has done so far can conclusively answer this one way or another. The best I can say is that self-awareness and knowing what your wants and needs is very mandatory for a peak dating life. If I was paid to do dating coaching for women I don't think I would deviate from the advice you've given in terms of female POV. In terms of consulting for men though I don't think that being in the chasing dynamic is optimal. You are also correct though that if you are the one being chased it can lead to being indifferent or jaded. So it's a tough nut to crack. It also boils down to what this falling in love means and often times from the male POV it does mean submitting to the woman and being at her mercy so to speak. I will say that I do truly believe this is a weak form of love and there is a more powerful one that can be achieved that benefits both the man and the woman but I will need to test that for myself and report back in a few years instead of speculating. Me and @Inliytened1 were just talking about this in the other thread though. It truly is a fascinating discussion and I think its good to deconstruct love and relationships as much as we can.

That's one version of it. Another version of it is a polycule. So you have 2 girlfriends but nobody else sleeps with others outside of the relationship. Or more than 3 people. The whole idea is to not let society define how you can love someone. That is between you and the people you choose to live with. Once again we're back to sexual shame but there is nothing really that infuriates me further then that. If some man really tried to put boundaries on my love life I would have to kill him. If I lived in a muslim society I would start a revolution almost inevitably.