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Everything posted by LordFall
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Do you think there's inherently something wrong with looking to acquire vast amounts of knowledge or does the mistake lie in being too relient on this knowledge and living through it as opposed to directly experiencing life? @Matt23 Super interesting thought huh, how do you know the knowledge you're reading anywhere is accurate? If they had scientific journals in the olden days, they would've came up with peer reviewed studies on how the earth is flat. It's always good to research the authors and where they're coming from, what bias they have and how they got the information. Also reading books recommended by someone who's judgement you trust to at least a degree is a good idea. It's also good to develop critical thinking and a wealth of knowledge so you can tell for yourself what is bullshit. Then, of course, become careful of your own bias but trusting your authority over an arbitrary one is a good skill to develop.
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Isn't it a case of economics? That universal health care will be cheaper to implement than medicare for all? I don't see why else he'd back down from it.
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Haha, it was a half-serious comment. I'd say I choose my own authority figures based on them having relating ideas to mine but in a more experienced/advanced manifestations of them. I pick them based on their ability to give me more insight than I can provide myself based on them having done so in the past. Of course, no such figure is absolute and I'd trust my judgment over theirs at the end of the day because I have to ultimately live with myself but I still do feel they offer helpful guidance which is why I was curious on Leo's opinion.
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How so? Isn't everything in life gambling to some extent?
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Game was basically invented by introverted nerds who didn't drink much. Don't use your introversion as an excuse to not be able to navigate and enjoy hectic social situations. Clubs are a great way for an introvert to push his social skills. It's your arch-nemesis, loud environments that mostly rely on physicality and vibe as opposed to conversations. Took me 75+ times going to clubs to actually start to learn how to enjoy myself. Grabbing girls felt awkward. Dancing felt awkward. Screaming to be heard felt awkward. All great shit to get over. And once you do, your introverted self actually thrives in that environment and you got an edge on all the extraverted bros. Take a look at really basic game stuff and you'll find it gives you a lot of value in this context. Combine it with the self-development stuff Leo does and you can make the most out of this dating stuff. I got no worries for you, my dude.
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@Leo Gura Can you comment on this? This challenges my paradigms very heavily and I need an authority figure to explain to me what I should think
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@Leo Gura This is a good topic. I'd be curious what your thoughts on video game addiction is, having been a gaming addict in the past it seems. To me, once I started meditating and basically considering life in itself a game/an adventure, video games lost most of their appeal. It was like playing one of those games that is literally in a video game, boring as fuck. I can level up my character in real life and go on quests, it's amazing. And there are girls, I'm sorry I'm still stuck in the paradigm that girls are the most amazing thing ever.
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This is the best policy. If you lend money to people, only do it under the assumption that you will never see the money again. Then it's a win-win, if you get it back, you're pleasantly surprised and gain trust in the other person. If you don't, you were okay with it from the start and now found out who's word you cannot trust.
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Do you have links to her content where she talks about that? I'd be curious to learn more. When you start to figure out the patterns of life, it becomes much less confusing and you feel more at home. Then you can start to have fun and test the boundaries of these patterns for yourself and become a person that doesn't make much sense, in the best way possible, and just make life an adventure or a game.
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I highly disagree with your advice and it comes across as very ignorant. Plenty of guys/girls would benefit from a dating coach, whether it'd be to actually pick up mates or even relationship coaches. Dating and relationships are such a huge facet of life that most people(I'd say 75%) seem to have a lot of trouble with and end up with a less than optimal situation. From the time that you first start puberty to the day you die, you're gonna spend a lot of your time/energy thinking about, pursuing or interacting with the other sex. Better learn the right strategies and mindsets to doing it properly which the current media and mainstream culture teach you the exact opposite. As to actual recommendations, I second girlschase. Their articles are some of the best I've ever seen online. In videos, Todd Valentine and the RSD guys are pretty legit. Tyler from RSD doesn't per se do dating videos anymore but his self-help stuff directly translates to game and seduction so if you already have a bit of background in it, it's easy to connect the dots.
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There's a huge difference between beliefs and direct experience. A belief is blind faith basically. Direct experience means you've tried it yourself. I'm also surprised that there aren't more critics of Leo out there. For a normal person watching one of his most advanced videos, he must seem out of his mind. Someone send his immortality video to a conversative news station ?. That's why his message is so good. Don't believe him? Try for yourself and you'll see how far down the rabbit hole really goes.
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I'd say review your notes and keep going. The beginning of the course is just theory. As long as you understand the core concepts, I don't think it's too important to get caught up on.
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What you write screams of red flags. I cosign @Average Investor's recommendation with the Leo video and try to look at it from a neutral perspective. I would look into his stories to confirm them. I might very well be wrong but he does seem to have low self-esteem as well as a victim complex. Those traits tend to turn abusive in the long run, beware.
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Both sexes have their own issues but the women do get more sexual freedom just because of basic biology. Women have to be a lot pickier due to pregnancy whereas a guy can have unlimited partners and spread his seed liberally.
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The point of game and pickup shouldn't be to neurotically learn and remember all the tactics and lines but to get a deeper picture of seduction and understand the underlying reasons why these things work so that you can integrate them fully into your behavior. That's why Leo has books like The Red Queen and Sperm Wars on his book list, studying the biology and psychology is what you're after so that you don't have to parrot the tactics and can end up being authentically yourself while still being wildly attractive to the opposite sex. You're on the right path. Studying the tactics and blindly applying them is only step 1. Take your learning further and you'll really start to have fun when it clicks. When you start to understand why stuff like dominance and confidence works, you can have fun with it. You can be a dominant/confident anime nerd and have girls watch anime with you and have them be crazily into you and have great times filled with sex and intimacy. Anime is just an example, change it to self-development or whatever niche hobby you're into and it still fits the same. Just like self-development, don't follow any seduction teacher like dogma. Learn at the start, integrate it and make it your own. Have fun young one.
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I'm 100% with you on that. This could just be me though but I feel like you're being a bit judgemental of someone having looks(which really just means biological attraction) as a high priority on their list. Would you personally settle on a partner that doesn't meet your personal criteria of attractiveness for the sake of personality? To me, both are almost as important. If the poster had said that he finds his partner really attractive but he doesn't connect with her much intellectually, my advice would've been the same just in reverse.
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Starting it up again with an ex huh, very controversial topic. I feel like most people tend to go with an all-encompassing no(Leo seems to fall within that viewpoint) but I'm torn on it. You shared special moments and a connection with that person and unless things to terribly wrong in the end, it seems normal to me to have lingering feelings about them. I think, at the very minimum, the key is not repeating the mistakes of the past. Did this person improve themselves(and did you) to the point that old issues shouldn't be a problem anymore? It seems to me like you might possibly be on the unhealthy side of this. The issues that caused your relationship to break apart, in the end, don't seem to have been solved and would only be a non-issue in this instance because of the LDR aspect of it. Do you think you would have a chance to work it out if he did move in with you again? Or do you know for a fact that will kill it right away(just like last time) and you're just artificially fixing that issue by making it an LDR. If that's the case, I think you're lying to yourself and you know deep down this isn't right and yes, you're avoiding the deep work needed to get over it fully and find someone else you're compatible with. Also, LDR don't seem to be a very healthy, practical and effective approach to relationships in general. For most people, it tends to go sour and seems to just be a coping mechanism to avoid, once again, finding someone you're compatible with. I would count being in the same locale as your partner a strong point of compatibility.
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I mean, biology is a real thing. I'd say figure out if your partial lack of attraction to her is authentic or it's just insecurity on your part(deep down you find her cute and you know there's nothing wrong with her but you feel like you have an image imposed on you of what a girl is supposed to look like or you think your friends are gonna judge you type thing.) If it's the latter and you really feel like you're settling in your attraction, then do you and her both a favor and break up with her. A clear feeling of settling leads to resentment on both sides really and probably cheating and micro toxic behaviors that ruin relationships. @Anna1 You're right but also wrong. There is nothing that says that these things are mutually exclusive. You can value looks and personality highly and frankly, you should. I don't believe it to be a superficial thing, it's a beautiful thing to be wildly primally attracted to your partner and want to jump their bones every time you see them and also be able to have deep conversations for hours on end and just have a good time enjoying your presence because you're in love with their personality. I think a big part of what ruins relationships is, weirdly enough, lack of standards. It's fine to expect a lot out of a romantic partner and in fact, you should. Just be confident in what you bring to the table and make sure it matches your expectations. If you expect the world out of a girl, you better be providing the world straight back to her. If you're gonna commit such a big part of your life to them, don't pick someone you're wishy-washy about. Pick someone you admire, respect and could list endless qualities too and someone that you find attractive in almost every aspect is definitely part of that.
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I'm torn on this one, I think if you're a positive person and you can filter out the cynical stuff, RedPill has a lot of deep lessons and truths about women that will give you huge value when complemented with pickup. Even reading the posts on here, a lot of it reminds me of stuff I read on red pill. If you're easily influenced by negativity, it can easily jade you, it's a double-edged sword. I have a much easier time recommending game stuff but I personally have gained a lot from reading red pill and I love women so that negative bs just flows right past me but to someone else, it could corrupt them. I might start being more careful recommending it. I think getting a coach is a fantastic idea. But if he's just starting out, a few hundred cold approaches is nothing. To get really good(Leo said the same thing), you need thousands. Think about it, a few hundred approaches takes 1-2 months if you're dabbling. From that, he gained the ability to meet and go on dates with random attractive women he found on the streets. That's fucking crazy. The only way an average guy gets to meet women outside of his social circle is getting drunk at a club/bar and maybe getting lucky with a drunk chick. Pickup is underrated and anyone not doing it misses out huge. It's not about the techniques and the "pickup lines", it's literally the ability to make the entire world your social circle.
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Decide if this is something you truly want to change or if it would just be nice if it did change. HUGE difference between the two. If you truly want to change it and it's in your current top 1-2 priorities in life then this is very simple. Take massive action and go all-in with pick up. Use Leo's advice and combine it with Redpill/PUA concepts and meet other guys in your city that will go out with you and you will solve this in the next year 100%. No questions asked. There is no real secret man. Game or no game, getting good with women works the same way for everyone. Be in the presence of a lot of women and make your move on a lot of them. This is how both naturals and the most introverted successful pickup guys do it. Being an introvert is not an excuse. Being INTP is not an excuse. They can be great strength in fact. Just be mindful of using these terms to describe yourself and not as an excuse.
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Exactly what @Leo Gura said. I've been in that situation before AND the girl was willing to actually put the effort in it and research her problems and go to therapy with and without me and it was still a struggle and didn't work out. This is the recipe for an EXTREMELY co-dependent relationship. You only have a sliver of hope if she can realize that her behaviors are issues and is willing to work it out. If not, 0% chance to make it work. Not even 1%. I would personally get out now before she gets even more invested and Leo is right, you will get threats of suicide when you distance yourself then. Fix your own issues to the point that you don't attract or are immediately aware of people with severe issues before too much investment sink in. You will grow regardless but IMO, choose a more quality growing experience. I'm sure she is a quality person and all this doesn't remove her positive attributes but in having a successful, healthy relationship; positive attributes don't outweigh negative ones.
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@Michael569 I like what you're saying but I think you're making a big mistake in dismissing pickup in its entirety. There are entirely valid methods developed by the PUA community that not only enhance your interactions with women but also your experiences with them. Things like vulnerability, truth of intent, abundance mentality, not shaming yourself when being rejected have all been talked about in-game. Yes, there are plenty of toxic mentalities and techniques within game but throwing the baby out with the bathwater would be foolish. Leo both calls out the pickup community for their manipulation but recommends a lot of their techniques in his mega thread. And to answer your question @AlphaAbundance, I wouldn't recommend doing direct game in school as you can easily destroy your reputation if your game is not highly perfected. Doing indirect game is fine. Meaning talk to everyone, guys and girls, make friends and pursue the girls that appeal to you. I would 100% recommend supplementing that with game outside of school. Malls, parks, streets and maybe even universities and other high schools near you. The biggest tip for game is never lie. A lot of beginners and even advanced pickup guys make the mistake of believing they need to lie to make game work. It will kill your authenticity, make those interactions and possible relationships dishonest and really makes you lose out on the depth that game can bring you. Small examples is if you go to another school, believing that you need to tell the girls that you go there to "fit in." I've had the most dates from daygame going to a university campus near me and straight-up telling the girls that I don't go there and I just come to socialize because otherwise, I'm sitting all day working on a business. Most don't care. Also most important, have fun and don't take it too seriously. You don't have to become a "master PUA" to get a lot of benefit from game. Have fun, meet people, build connections and get laid. That's what life's about and high school is a great place to start. Best of luck.
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How old are you and can you teach me?
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Are you a male attracted to women? Then congratulations, you have perhaps the best most straightforward way to improve your social skills: pickup. You said you're not interested in that which is fine, just take the lessons from it and apply it towards not pickup. Go out and literally talk to random people, men and women. The Fearless product by RSD Max has some good general social freedom challenges which is a great way to push your comfort zone while having a progression system. Find novel ways to push your boundaries and comfort zone. Go places alone, talk to people, share the thoughts in your head with others. That's how you break free of your self imposed social prison.
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I like to write the big points and interesting facts I get on a book on my phone. I use my commonplace book on my phone so I can easily find what I personally found to be the most interesting points in a book in a few seconds. It's really convenient. If I put too much effort into note taking/underlining while reading it ruins the experience for me and I tend to procrastinate reading as opposed to when it's a fun activity that lets me learn stuff as a bonus.