LordFall

That's an interesting framework. I think it's not the full psychological picture though. I do think some men have a trophy wife sort of psychology and are attracted to women other men find hot. There are also plenty of others and perhaps the majority that are turned off by the competitive aspect and specifically like the diamond in the rough kind of woman or man. Plenty of people are also turned off by narcissistic women who think too highly of themselves. Some others are drawn to that. I think my analysis that mimetic desire encompasses only about 30-40% of dating attraction should be accurate if we found a way to quantify it objectively. If we're talking about myself personally though I do love a slightly obsessed woman that's high maintenance like my own little princess. I would be way turned off by a woman with low self-esteem. I'm trying to think of why that is I think part of it is indeed if she thinks she's the shit then perhaps she's right but it's also the fact that low self-esteem people have all kinds of neurosis that I'm not particularly looking to deal with.

Remember don't be silly, wrap your willy.

I don't think you need to overthink it. "Hey X, came across your profile and figured we should stay in touch. If you're ever back in Y place again, hit me up. What's your number?"

@BlessedLion Exactly. It's not because some men lack the integrity to have casual sex responsibly that it's a negative concept entirely. A lot of business people are unethical, it doesn't mean we should sleep in the forest to protest against the evils of the real estate industry. Especially because we're hopefully not just doing social commentary here, there are life strategies to adopt. I've been greatly enriched by the women I've had both long term and short term relationships with. Also women benefit greatly from being attractive and appealing to the male gaze. If you take a starting point of both genders just being blank canvases then one of the best possible imaginable survival and competitive strategies would be somehow turning yourself into an object of desire for half of the population so that they are inspired to work on your behalf. Being a bottle girl in a nightclub is an entry level position that requires no experience and pays $5,000-15,000 a month in big cities. I've never heard of a bottle boy. There is such a thing as a busboy though, it's the dude that comes to wipe your table after you've finished enjoying your bottle. They get paid minimum wage and like 5% of the girls tips at the end of the shift. @Asayake That is what the discussion was about. People are saying that you should be single or currently in a relationship working towards marriage and if you're engaging in casual relationships you're either getting exploited or the one doing the exploitation. That seems like a reductive view to me. When two consenting adults date casually, enjoy each other's time, part ways respectfully on good terms, and move forward into relationships they genuinely want then to me that is an arrangement running a healthy, natural course. Reflecting on a shared past with positivity is normal emotional maturity; nobody is trapped, nobody was coerced, and nobody was infantilized. Sometimes people push on others insecurities and trauma to get what they want but to assume that this is the undermining of all casual relationships shows a massive bias and unintegrated relationship to sexuality IMO. We had a great time while FWBs, watched movies, cuddled, fucked in all kinds of crazy places, went out to festivals in the summer, she hung out with my friend group and had a good time and we kept in touch for months talking here and there while she was in her relationship. Your weird assumptions reek of resentment my friend. Have you ever had a girlfriend or FWBs before? When I was more inexperienced in my youth I was also bitter about people having an active sex life. In life there are two main options though, getting bitter or getting better. If you'd like to work on your dating and sex life feel free to elaborate on your issues and we can work on it. I used to be a dating photographer, this niche of life is my specialty.

It's often helped me to give a voice to these feelings of anxiety so I can understand what my subconscious is going through. What exactly is your mind telling through these feelings of nervousness? That you should wait and approach later? That what if other guys see you approaching? That the girl isn't gonna like you anyway? That you got other better things to be doing? That you should and and approach hotter girls? That you should wait next week to approach? Once you understand the foundation of the resistance you're encountering, it'll be much easier to overcome it.

Women need men as a collective through the state but not really individual men for the most part. That’s precisely why the percentage of single, self-sufficient women keeps climbing. If a man thinks he's "food, water, and shelter" in modern dating, he's projecting a 1950s survival dynamic onto an era where women are selecting for genuine lifestyle, polarity, and excitement and don't need basic utility.

What is the angle against the left? She's basically be institutionalized for life there isn't really another plausible outcome. Mistrial is not its gonna end like that. You think she was pressured into a trad-wife life and hated it and this was her flip out moment? It makes sense but I can't really wrap my mind around it, seems quite insane.

If you're happy and satisfied, that's what matters.

You decide your destiny my man. Most men basically quit on their own life around 40 and don't grow much past then. I think what you need is a new 24 year old GF to bring some energy back into your routine. Hugh Hefner was still seeing new chicks into his 80s. He married his 3rd wife Crystal Harris at 86 years old when she was 26. That guy was riding the wave for sure. He did a lot of shitty things, but he was truly a man of impact that shaped our culture til today. My castle will be even cooler and of course bigger than the playboy mansion ever was.

I still think you guys are weirdly thinking about casual sex. What makes you think being fully single is the only way to work on yourself? Why can't she see a guy even if it's not gonna be her forever partner? The fact that their FWB lasted for 2 years if anything tells us that there was a lot of alignment there even if they weren't compatible as long term romantic partners. Monogamy is not the only valid relationship format that works for humans. It's a very puritan view of the world.

What do you think of the holding frame concept?

In systems theory the two top type of systems are complicated systems and complex systems. Complicated systems are well complicated and have a lot of rules that you can eventually master. A complex system's rules cannot really be mastered as they are emergent and ever changing. From the human vantage point, reality, love, and relationships are inherently complex systems. You don't beat a complex system with a rigid, one-size-fits-all rulebook. You navigate it through adaptability, high awareness, and feedback loops. Your best bet is practicing surfing and making sure you learn how to get back up on the board as easily as possible or getting on a nice yacht to enjoy the ride. Some people like to stay on the shore and play it safe. That’s never been my style, and knowing you, I doubt it’s yours either.

You embark on a quest of great importance on behalf of science and the universe itself. What is the perfect number of girlfriends? It's so hard to tell, no man truly has that answer. There are a specific number of atoms in the universe but the perfect number of women to have in your life? Physics can't help us here. Only the boldest will choose to go on this quest! Not for the weak.

You can bake that into your relationship and do threesomes with your woman. If you betray your woman though that ruins your chance at true love. It is important to get your needs and desires met though, I will give you that. Self-awareness and knowing what you want and what will make you snap towards unhealthy ways of getting those desires met is important.

Someone did find out. You did. I think if you want true love you should never lie to your women. It's like one soul in multiple bodies, it shouldn't lie to itself. Another way to look at it is people holding a chain that keeps them together. If you let it go, it's over. Doesn't matter how long it takes for the relationship to unravel itself after that. That's why dating apps are so important so you can take charge of your dating life and don't feel like random girls throwing themselves at you is very valuable. Polyamory is based on high trust and high communication. So if you want to fuck someone outside of your relationship you have to voice that and let your partner work through the emotions until they give you permission or veto it. If you YOLO it and fuck people left and right it's never gonna work.

In polyamory there is a concept called poly saturation which is the point where a polyamororous relationship reaches its limit with additional partners in terms of the time or emotional bandwidth to manage new relationships. I think if you engage in ethical non monogamy you will naturally hit that point where sleeping with new women causes no net benefit and starts to hinder your relationship even if you have two girlfriends at home that are genuinely okay with you sleeping with new women. The cool thing is that each person and couple has their own polysaturation quota. For monogamous people it's 1 and for some polyamorous people it's 2 partners and for some it's 6 partners. It's beautiful quest to find that out IMO and I have no fucking clue what mine will be. I quite like the idea of a quad and having 3 girlfriends. I came to that idea before I truly embraced my bisexuality though so perhaps I will add 2 boyfriends to that and predict that my ideal polycule will feature 6 people total. Who knows will it hold up or will it be lower or higher? Find out on the next episode of LordFall's love life! Also people don't like talking about this but your material abundance plays a massive role in this. If you are broke and financially stressed then it'll be much harder to handle multiple partners. If you are rich and stressed and working all the time it'll be equally as hard. If you have a fat stack of cash and don't have to work for the rest of your life then I imagine it'll be much easier to focus on your dating life and just build a thriving household with multiple partners. So each person has to account for their financial and career realities and what that looks like for them over the next 30 years. For me I have been obsessed with building multiple streams of income and financial leverage for about 10 years now mostly for that reason but also for my own peace of mind and independence. It's finally starting to bear fruits so in the next few years I should be set to prioritize dating and have my personal finances taken care of. AI is also a blessing for people in terms of work life balance and mastering it is a key to have a truly high quality dating life. I think that's a stage yellow insight that most will miss especially stage green folks that demonize AI.

I find what you're saying very fascinating because it's power dynamics 101. I think your advice is probably correct for most women. I don't know if this is fully accurate but it's worth exploring deeper. I think what you're describing is close to putting women on a pedestal and submitting to the divine feminine ideal. I think this can work sometimes for men but it can also spectacularly backfire. This is actually quite high level in terms of dating dynamics because I don't think any science that mankind has done so far can conclusively answer this one way or another. The best I can say is that self-awareness and knowing what your wants and needs is very mandatory for a peak dating life. If I was paid to do dating coaching for women I don't think I would deviate from the advice you've given in terms of female POV. In terms of consulting for men though I don't think that being in the chasing dynamic is optimal. You are also correct though that if you are the one being chased it can lead to being indifferent or jaded. So it's a tough nut to crack. It also boils down to what this falling in love means and often times from the male POV it does mean submitting to the woman and being at her mercy so to speak. I will say that I do truly believe this is a weak form of love and there is a more powerful one that can be achieved that benefits both the man and the woman but I will need to test that for myself and report back in a few years instead of speculating. Me and @Inliytened1 were just talking about this in the other thread though. It truly is a fascinating discussion and I think its good to deconstruct love and relationships as much as we can.

That's one version of it. Another version of it is a polycule. So you have 2 girlfriends but nobody else sleeps with others outside of the relationship. Or more than 3 people. The whole idea is to not let society define how you can love someone. That is between you and the people you choose to live with. Once again we're back to sexual shame but there is nothing really that infuriates me further then that. If some man really tried to put boundaries on my love life I would have to kill him. If I lived in a muslim society I would start a revolution almost inevitably.

I was indeed not into polyamory at that time correct. Once again big difference between open and closed polyamorous relationships.

Of course, I was pretty deeply in love with my last girlfriend. I think avoiding deconstructing love helps save us from the painful parts of our past and specifically why our last relationships fell apart. To create much stronger ones in the future though that avoidance must be addressed to not repeat our mistakes continuously.

I really like how this guy handles his devlogs and game production. This guy is a natural at audience market fit, with only 19 videos he's had 3,662,094 views. I don't know if he's archived some of his worst performing ones or if his art style and thumbnails are just this good, either way it's quite impressive. He's now getting funding through Patreon and Adsense to hire freelancers to help him on the project. I joined his Discord a couple of days ago, it's cool to see how he now has an active community around his ideas. That's where I wanna be 1 year from now. Just finished Day 11 of daily reels/Youtube shorts. If we extrapolate that to 30 days that makes for around 9k views a month and 10 subscribers per month. I think I can do better and reach more like 50k views which would start to give me some pretty good momentum. I've noticed that my best performing format so far seems to be combining history with how I'm gonna be implementing it in my world as opposed to just straight sharing worldbuilding ideas, so I'm gonna make more content around that. Getting into long form content should help as well for audience buy in, so far I've only made concept arts in that format but I'm working up to making explainer videos that are 5-10 mins in length. I have a new strategy I'm gonna be working on combining this LotA channel with my main personal youtube one so I'll update you guys in a few days when I post the first video around that.

Plenty of people have. What exactly is the part that still frustrates you about true love? Demystifying concepts requires asking the right questions. You seem hesitant to phrase your exact concerns on the issue. Is it mainly about having relationships stand the test of time? Or keeping the spark alive after initial infatuation? Or a soul mate type of question, like with all the 4 billion women out there which one is really the one meant for me? There's really only two main tracks of questions if we look at love in a romantic relationship. Finding it and keeping it.

I don't think this is an optimal strategy. It's hard to say truly, I'm not sure tbh. Recommending women not try to put effort into the men they are dating is pretty interesting take though and is basically Red Pill from the female perspective. I remember reading similar takes on the female dating strategy subreddit. I think it comes down to self-awareness, dating around and seeing what you personally enjoy in your life. I think some women enjoy chasing a man as long as their energy is matched. The definition of simping in my book is putting in more effort than what you're getting out so being a simp is not a good strategy for either gender.

I'm not a big fan of mystifying things. Relationships are great and clearly filled with love. It's the concept of true love that you seem stuck on. What does it mean to you? I was somewhat joking but I think part of the magic to life is the drive to keep giving your all even when life is hard. Relationships/female companions with nice butts are part of that for sure. It's the magic of duality baby, definitely not nothing and certainly a very nicely shaped Everything.

True love is everywhere. We have to define our terms here. If you mean an everlasting relationship with no conflict that's a bit harder achieve. True love is like seeing the perfect ass when you were depressed and realizing that life is worth living after all. I think this is my favorite love song ever I sometimes wish that I could fly Hold me tight in your arms tonight Sick of livin' inside a lie Alright I can't count the times I've tried Stand alone just to lift you high You're my answer to the question why