LordFall

What? It's a good thread and we're each sharing our perspective. What is unproductive about this conversation? Seems like perhaps you're not a fan of chaos in general and run from it. Confronting all our shadows is how we grow as people. Poking at each other's weaknesses is good. We should welcome it. I mean it's common for people that lack experience to have a similar perspective. I've clearly stated throughout the thread that if you're happy with your current circumstances then there is no need to change it. I have said that I'm not yet where I want to be in life and working each day towards it and enjoying the journey. To me an identity is constantly evolving. @Natasha Tori Maru I use weed more than I want to and it's for sure stopping me from reaching the peak effectiveness that I seek. I don't really fall into escapism though just underperformance the way I see it. It's made my business less effective than I want it to be and reduced my cashflow stability to be more precise. What appeals to you about asexuality? Is it truly what you desire or it's just easier and safer than confronting your shortcomings? I think it's possible to go quite deep with one person but a lot of people use it as a mask for avoiding development. For example if you scroll through Reddit a lot of relationship issues that you see come up both in a communication, emotional and sexual term stems clearly from a lack of self exploration and overall underdevelopment. That's the common societal narrative, I'm a lone self in this world oh I found someone who accepts me let's settle down and see what happens. Not saying that's ALL monogamous couples just a lot and the majority. I identify with all people and humanity as a whole so settling down with the first woman I like doesn't really appeal to me. As you can see my perspective is one of exploration and discovery with many people. I wouldn't say I don't aim to go deep as opposed to narrow, I think you should do both to explore all that life has to offer in that regard. Once I get settled into polyamory I will have children with the partners I have found the most joy and stability with and build something like a homestead where I grow my own food, raise animals and do international business with my communities across the world.

This is such a textbook example it would be a shame not to use it to spread awareness. As someone who's dated a cluster B(bpd) woman before, it catches you by surprise and fails to follow the rules of rationality so watch out if you're a highly rational man. So Aba from AnaNPreach just had a big drama unfold in the past few months with a woman he got pregnant accidentally and then tried to break up with as she decided she didn't want to date him. What follows is a beautiful case of all 4 dark tetrad traits displayed beautifully. https://www.reddit.com/r/Destiny/comments/1t6kunw/woman_making_claims_against_aba_from_aba_and/ Thankfully for him he has recordings, text receipts and in the situation he didn't get volatile himself otherwise it could've gone much worse for him. She proceeds to completely lie about a situation where she split him(going from full in love to someone to discarding them emotionally due to perceived abandonment or slight) and then after he decides he doesn't want to deal with this and tells her to leave and books her a uber and hotel to get out of the house, she proceeds to gaslight him by saying she's not safe outside and she has no service and has to walk outside for hours in the Montreal cold. Turns out after months she rephrases that she walked to 30 mins and booked herself a hotel. She then goes on interviews with Youtubers and tells people he screamed at her and verbally abused her when he has a recording of him talking very calmy and just being fed up with her and trying to get her to leave. People high in machiavellianism are master manipulators and know how to make themselves seem like the victim in all situations. You can't usually catch them red handed so it's common for it to lead to gaslighting and mental health issues for the person being targeted since you start to believe them. She also clearly shows sadistic traits in trying to ruin his life as much as possible and going out of her way to threaten to expose him to his competing content creators and records videos with any other girl she can get to say something negative about him. Also seems like clear psychopathy in feeling no guilt in turning on him like this(for example my BPD ex didn't really do things like this she was mostly just BPD) and also a lack of long term thinking and massive pride at being slighted since publicizing this makes her look unhinged and undateable to future prospects with healthy boundaries. She has some traits of BPD like frantic irrational efforts to avoid abandonment as she booked and cancelled abortion appointments multiple times(I read somewhere up to 10) even though she didn't seem to want to date him. It's very lucky for Aba that he's quite a grounded and rational person otherwise he could easily be in jail from an incident like this. It's a good reminder that emotional regulation is one of the top skills in life and most times with severely mentally ill people you just have to leave as soon as your boundaries are crossed and do not react to the attacks that follow. Dark tetrad is very real and present in both men and women so watch a few videos on it to understand how it manifests and especially some on healthy boundary setting as that's one of the best ways to cut those types of people off early as there are always signs. It's likely that Aba has a few narcissistic traits to be attracted to someone like this, narcissistic men and BPD women are a classic combination. How it works in a nutshell is you're a bit numb emotionally so a volatile and hot woman(they usually also tend to be hotter than the women you usually get so you let your boundaries slip and/or love bomb you) and play up the damsel in distress traits and it triggers a savior complex as well as you view yourself as a smarter and more grounded man than most you think you can handle her and change her. Big mistake the BPD traits are basically a hard counter for this and it always unravels. Traits are not the same thing as a personality disorder and I believe a lot of the self-development work that's done here if done sincerely will heal those traits as they surface from a wounded and thus powerful and sneaky ego. I did for sure and I've been working since my own last relationship to work on them and heal the wounded parts of my psyche so it doesn't happen again as it's quite a traumatic experience. Also quite common for PUAs to end up with mentally ill and particularly BPD women as we have an unstable sense of self and so do they and one of the core laws of dating is you do not attract what you want, you attract what you are. Dark Tetrad people aren't usually born evil, there is a clear genetic component but it's trauma based and it turns the ego into survival machine that's willing to do whatever it takes to get its egoic needs met(which aren't always rational. As I said before, psychopaths lack long-term thinking skills and impulse control; because they don't feel fear or the weight of consequences like a regular person, they're actually terrible in business.) Machiavellians are really the ruthless CEO archetype. Feel free to share if you've also had experiences with dark tetrad individuals as it's quite common and not talked about enough I believe.

@Natasha Tori Maru When someone says humans are profound waste of time that say nothing, that does not sound like someone rational to me. Does it to you? That sounds to me like someone who's jaded and gave up. I think my way is the correct way to engage with the world because it doesn't get me nor the people I see adopting it to that result. @integral I'm not talking about idealism. Feeling the way you feel is common, as I said it's covered in the video I linked above. If you wanna look at paradigms that lead to getting out of it as idealism then that seems like a closed off perspective more than reality. @WonderSeeker Which of my assumptions were wrong? I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and explain some things that you've said from what I know about psychology and sexuality. I could totally be wrong.

I don’t know I haven’t talked to him about it. Perhaps he enjoys the life he has now. You don’t need to have a massive impact if you don’t want to. The way you were talking about it sounded more like you were resigning yourself to that lifestyle versus something that you find deep peace and fulfillment in. Also once more if you have all these qualms about society why not have an impact on it instead of being the grumpy guy on the forum about it? Thats where my victim mindset comment was coming from. It reminds me of my brother who just finished uni in Montreal and he has a communist streak to him and complains about the economy. I asked him why don’t we start a business together then and make a lot of money and then you’ll either not worry about the economy or be in a better position to change it; we’ll see how that goes. I fundamentally believe in being at the cause not to the effect of our reality. There is a lot of change even one person can make on the world.

There is a great Owen cook whole hour and a half video on this, I highly recommend you watch it. You're not the only one that feels this way, most men give up around 40. If you're saying that you're experiencing connection with others as pain and burden then that's a diagnostic sign towards lack of alignment. If done right helping others should feel like basically hedonism like you're using your skills that you've built to solve someone else's problem and then they're grateful that you helped them solve it and say X person is such a cool person they've helped me; a virtuous cycle. Easier than done for sure but it can be done, I'm just starting to tap into it with my creative communities feels good. Also I'm 31, for sure I get to be in the wise elder category now

If you use sexuality as escapism to neglect the other areas of your life then that's a recipe for disaster. If your love of sexuality is not trauma based and is based on a love of sensual experiences and sharing that with others then don't demonize it. Use it as your muse. Build a business/career that gives you time flexibility and indulge in all the sexuality you want. It's funny you write this out now we just had a huge debate in the other thread over it; here is my whole perspective if you care to read it: Use AI to serve as a coach to identify the key parts of life where you're underperforming, solve them, make a lot of cash and enjoy what the world has to offer. I wouldn't call it twisted I would call it a gift. Don't let it turn into a curse and you'll have your cake and eat it too. What else is the point of cake?

That's fair I respect that. I'll just leave you with don't give up on people they are worth it.

Yes introverts need alone time to recharge. Doesn't mean you should forego socialization and then claim superior development from that. It's coping as I've said already. Why it's victim mindset is you're saying that the world lacks integrity and instead of being part of the change you're claiming that retreating in solitude is somehow the superior strategy here. You can't claim weakness and present it as a strength that's insanity. I'm very familiar with Leo's point of view on this and just read the post again. Leo himself claims that this is just his POV and I'll claim myself that it's a reaction to being put in a complicated system that your brain doesn't understand how to navigate and thus is exhausting. I've already explained how you can curate your own environments that are both more fun and meaningful to navigate than a nightclub and also bring up people to your level. That's the definition of leadership. You're literally said that people are a profound waste of time. What you should do is introspect on how you came to that conclusion and if it's grounded in reality or just your limited perspective of it. People have limitless potential. High consciousness isn't a lab experiment that shatters the moment you step outside your comfort zone. It's about having the capacity to enter the chaotic world and transform it with your presence or at least learn to enjoy it. That's what any mystic that's changed the world has done such as our boy Jesus. You don't HAVE to do that but if you're gonna claim that your perspective is the superior one then I will deconstruct it. I'm also an INTP hard introvert. I've spent 12 years working on myself and learning from different environments to get to the point where I'm at now.I still spend most of the day in solitude and introspection. Introverts can excel in social situations, they just have to find their own unique way of doing it. I know some hard introverts that do very well at cold approach but can't really socialize in a party or nightlife environment because the communication there is more emotional and vibe based than intellectual. I don't particularly excel at cold approach but I also mostly like intellectual environments. Which is why I did a podcast and host creative events. The arts are a mix of intuition and creativity as well as entrepreneurship and marketing so I enjoy the mix of left and right brain thinking. If you're satisfied with where you are at in life that's fine but I'm saying your limitations are self imposed my friend.

I think willpower is more important than genetics. Unless you mean like a tall basketball player but if you want to have a superhuman impact on the world that's all you my boy

@integral You’re misrepresenting my points to argue against a position I don’t hold. I never said having a vision for society is forbidden, nor did I say life should only be about chasing millions and models. My point is simple: true leadership and high consciousness don’t sit on the sidelines venting about OnlyFans models under the guise of "societal integrity." That's just jadedness and victim mindset masquerading as spirituality. When a framework teaches you to view the average human being as a "profound waste of time" who "says absolutely nothing," it’s not an evolution of consciousness—it’s an ego defence mechanism designed to protect you from the discomfort of participating in reality. Someone who understands the world doesn't retreat because the world is messy; they build systems to elevate it. I feel like I'm harsher than I really mean to be Integral it's all love bro but I feel like your mindset is quite off on this one. @Schizophonia I love the honesty here, it's good to be able to verbalize your hangups. Women want to have sex with men, that's how 300 000 years evolution got us to where we are. Why its easier or harder depending on different guys is a function of the market ,it's not really a personal thing against you. Meaning that you can use the strategies I've mentionned to be the same guy but paint yourself in a much more attractive light. To the point where a girl will fantasize about blowing you. Multiple of them even. You don't need to be a god for a woman to desire you. You need to work on social skills, lead with good energy, and share a fun, value filled space with them and then giving you pleasure becomes just as fun for them as it is for you. Women are usually even more sexual than men. From me asking AI, Toulouse is a student city with a massive creative scene. Don't worry about your friends not being motivated—join the game global group for Toulouse. It's only got 14 people right now but maybe 2-3 guys will be down to go out. Start small, look into local creative meetups, improv, or sports that you'd like, and start treating your neurotic brain as a video game to level up in. That's the part where treating dating like a video game makes sense. Not the dating itself part but levelling up your life and then it becomes less personal and less anxiety inducing. Baby steps until you're where you wanna be frero. https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/

@Schizophonia You seem open to feedback, that's mostly what it takes to build a great dating and carreer/business life in my experience. It's not a big deal to have only had experiences with sex workers at this point in life. That's how I started myself. I lost my virginity at 18 to a beautiful lady of the night named Sonia, it was an incredible 90 seconds. I got my first girlfriend volunteering at a comic expo in my city. The good thing about cold approach is it loosens you up and makes you more social by default so you don't even have to get a girlfriend from it, it'll make you more attractive to women in general. What city are you in? If you're in a big one there are pickup groups in most of them. Going out with other people is the best way to learn by osmosis from them in my experience. Humans learn collectively through our mirror neurons. If you just watch videos online and read the forum and try to do it by yourself that's nightmare difficulty. I would also build a social circle out of it. That's the number 1 medium to long term hack towards building social capital. It's also something that you can keep doing even when you get into a relationship to build an aligned group towards mutual goal that will ultimately gain you influence in your city and the world at large if you combine it with social media. You also learn much more from orchestrating your own social environment rather than existing in someone else's. It's also more beneficial to you because most systems exist to benefit those at the top rather than the main participant. I knew a club owner in Toronto that used the official instagram page with 30k followers to DM girls to invite them to his free booth and he had free bottles and liquor which cost other dudes paying for it thousands and the average dudes coming into the club to buy drinks and talk to the girls would just fit the bill for the whole venue. You can build yours in a win-win way but you'll still benefit most from being the leader and thus having the highest status and authority in the group. Beautiful thing is it works with any hobby. You could easily get laid from starting a Pokemon Card group if that's your passion or really about anything. The world has integrated in this past decade and that didn't used to be the case. I dropped out of high school playing league of legends competitively and now kids these days have collegiate esports teams, wadafak.

Well first of all that's a false equivalency and comparing the degrees of corruption of Sophie Rain and trump is not intellectually honest. Second regardless it's victim mindset. If you choose to not be in the public arena and not influence people as you have proudly stated and then spend time nitpicking their actions then once that seems like silly behaviour to me. We can also deconstruct where each criticism is coming from, all criticism is not created equal. She's not gonna read this so it's not really even criticism it's more like venting.

I'm not triggered, I just dislike low quality discourse. We have good discussions on this forum and change people's opinions all the time. If you're not a persuasive person that can understand people's perspective and make good points towards changing it when you feel it right to do so then all you're doing is projection.

Have you tried doing cold approach? What about other activities that get you out of your shell like improv and dance? What about your fitness? I don't know anything about insomnia apart from it has to be linked to neuroticism but willpower and relationship problems are my forte. You control your own will, you decide to activate it or not. If you don't then you're gonna underperform in relationships for sure and then a multimillionaire hottie it's gonna trigger the fuck out of you for sure. I don't think she embodies even 1 characteristic from stage red. Stage orange sure. She's also stage green, she donated $1M to the water donation project organized by MrBeast and also donated to families for SNAP when the trumpster caused the government shutdown.

She found a gap in the market and travels the world with her friends, shooting content and having a good time. I think it's what most people aspire to do but can't and that's why they're mad at her.

How so? To me she promotes good vibes and freedom. I feel much better each time I watch one of her clips on Instagram. She has a muse type of frequency to me and similarly I feel invigorated and motivated when I see happy hot women especially when they are dancing and having a good time. If you are closed off to the abundant energy of the feminine that to me points to a scarcity mindset most likely stemming from the sour grapes phenomenon. When is the last time that you came inside or on a beautiful woman? If the answer to that is never or too long for factors outside of your control then of course you're gonna hate beautiful women flaunting their sexuality. It's gonna feel like the universe personally insulting you. I feel like that sometimes. And then I get better and work on myself and work towards said act of love with a beautiful woman and when it happens I feel like life is great and I thank God for being alive.

So all the things that we talk about and discuss here? What goals do you have specifically in those areas? Particularly surrounding relationships and money.

Overtaken by reality in what way like they lose that boyish charm when they get older? True but then if you date them long term then you're attached to the person hopefully not to the youth. It seems common in the gay community that some twinks tend to be super promiscuous in their 20s and then have trouble acclimating to growing older and losing some SMV.

Sure part of what you're saying is correct. It's also a limited perspective. I would argue that a lot of people that a lot of people that rush into monogamous relationships objectify their partners as a stability object and a lot of those relationships turn toxic after the honeymoon phase ends and the reality of the human being that you've entangled yourself with becomes apparent. Personally I'm still exploring my authentic self and casual dating has allowed me to find layers of that. So has my monogamous relationships in the past. You're making a lot of false assumptions with casual dating so allow me to make an assumption on you; do you lack a lot of experience in this field and using assumptions to shield you from the discomfort of it? Why do you assume casual sex comes without caring about the other person's pleasure? It's really fun to give orgasms to people you hookup with and have honest pillow talk with them afterwards. I tend to find it leads to a lot of vulnerability and talking about stuff honestly that I wouldn't be comfortable talking about with people in my day to day life. Perhaps some people are 100% honest and vulnerable with their friends and family but that's not what I observe with people as a whole. There's also the radical vulnerability that comes from the self-improvement part of cold approach. It's an incredibly tough thing to go up to a woman you find attractive on the street and try to seduce her. Not only you have to initially look attractive enough that her initial reaction is not wtf get away from me. Then you have to have pretty good conversation skills to make a cool conversation happen out of nowhere knowing nothing about her. Then you have to be able to read body language and facial expressions to make sure she's enjoying the conversation enough to want to see you again. Then you have to understand logistics and escalation enough to turn that into a date and ultimately sex. I think it's very obvious that most people will dismiss this process outright and call it unspiritual and materialistic instead of admitting that it shatters most of the paradigms they're comfortable with and that they're rather unskilled in most of these areas. Which to me requires true respect for yourself and a refusal to settle for mediocrity. Which apparently looking at stats 60% of men today settle for. To come back to your point once again you aren't wrong about all this can still be done without solving the trauma that would lead one to having an avoidant attachment style. I still think it's a separate issue. Most men cannot attract the women they are truly attracted to and settle for mediocre relationships. That's obviously not everyone but I see it all the time. I had a client that I did a photoshoot with and he hated the dating process and ended up dating this obese girl with bpd and he would send me pictures of her trying to talk about how hot she was and he just likes curvy women. I don't judge if you're in a relationship fuck it go for it champ but then it turned massively volatile as you would expect out of someone with BPD but once again it's a very common pattern. Ultimately your life is your own in this thread I've mostly called out the beliefs that to me seem silly and not based in reality. I've been on this journey since I was 19 years old and for my personally it stems from being mostly an incel in my teens that wasn't able to pursue the girls that in hindsight gave me signs of being attracted to me. Not everyone is gonna have the same baggage. It turned to a quest in exploration into social dynamics and human sexuality that I would consider the complete opposite of shallow. If you're not interested in that journey then I mean great. I think there is almost infinite growth from pursuing deeply the fields that the average person does deem as shallow i.e. dating and money. I think that's particularly why people are so scared of them because they are central to our existence in today's age. @Schizophonia What does being demonic to you entail? Seems to me like you're throwing that word around lightly; feel free to expand on your thoughts around it. I agree the porn industry is much more exploitative than onlyfans. It's such an interesting phenomenon and it's obvious why it's so shocking to the world. It's perhaps mostly exploitative to the men that get hooked on it but also I don't even know if I agree with that sentiment. It's agency as it's purest form. There is plenty of resources out there for men to learn to date and have sex for women if they desire to do so. I know onlyfans women that I paid to subscribe to and I'm quite happy with my purchase. I think the economy is a very complex thing and if some women want to get paid for their sexuality then more power to them. As I've explained above its very predictable that this concept would shock some people as it's basically stage orange clashing with stage blue. Seems like low consciousness to me though. @WonderSeeker If that identity suits you I mean more power to you. I merely deconstructed the causes of it and the "solution" if you seek to experience sexuality a different way. I'm a big believer in being in control of most of the facets of your personality and that most humans are quite repressed and especially in everything related to sexuality. Allow me to psychoanalyze you but it seems from the original post that you're a bit offended by the concept of bodycount so perhaps yours is low and you don't like that fact? Although deconstructing the concept of bodycount in and of itself is completely valid.

Yes the future is exciting @oOo! Especially if AI manages to help human decouple their lives from labor then our potential will increase many times fold. I read a buddhism book once and one the quotes that spoke to me is "if someone can enjoy something, you can too."

If you mean money then my favorite ones so har has been the Alex Hormozi books on business. I've only read the first one so far, looking forward to the other 2!

Always fun to speak on a high horse. What are you working on? Post it publicly and the forum will hold you accountable! Discussion with your peers on various topics that are important to you is not really a waste of time. If you utilize it wisely it should sharpens your mind.

Correcting community members/customers and managers are usually handled differently in a business. If the point is to strip everything of authority and just put it all in the open I guess that's one way of going about it.

My point wasn't to paint all moderators with a single brush. My critique is strictly operational: when internal friction gets weaponized publicly, it drains the engine. But I appreciate your energy on this platform and respect where you're coming from Natasha.

Sure, it does offer a lot of value. It's also a way to obtain power and status in a community. And then quoting all the bad things the owner has said in the community is another way to gain more status. I don't know Carl I haven't put too much thought into his behaviour overall on the forum but this post rubs me personally the wrong way. I hope he messaged Leo and/or hopped on a call with him before he posted this and perhaps Leo has been closed off to criticism I haven't read through the whole thread but if not I stick by it : I would ban his disrespectful and unprofessional ass.