LordFall

@Natasha Tori Maru Yeah, sounds about right. I'll take some time to reflect on what you said. @Jordan of the Shire I think I understand what you mean. Sometimes you paradoxically gain more control by giving up control and being more present and surrendered temporarily.

As you're learning how you want your relationships to be long term I think it's normal to oversteer in one direction and be temporarily unbalanced. The average man is so passive and not in control of his life that obsessing over control and frame dynamics is good for a while until you test it out and find a healthy middle ground that serves your needs while also not invalidating those of your partners.

Yeah, I agree. I've thought about it a lot. It's something I have to experiment with over the next few years for sure. Whether 15 years from now I'll be raising kids with 3 women or it was just a temporary phase, I couldn't tell you. I will give it a shot though, I see it as a natural evolution to my game journey. As you've seen here my problem-solving process is methodical. I think I will be better than the average man at solving polyamorous relationship problems because I'm good at getting to the root of the issue and not getting swayed by waves of feelings. I'm good at reconciliation as well so if 2 of my women are having issues with each other I think it'll be easy for me to assess where the problem is coming from, getting them to hug it out and if I was the one causing the issue by giving preferential treatment to one over the other to then solve the issue.

Same to you my man, I hope you research some of the concepts I've talked about. I'm definitely a sucker for love, that's why I want it with multiple people! I think to build really high-quality relationships you have to stop winging it and really get serious about what you want and find people compatible with your vision and life purpose.

Idk maybe this is effective psychological warfare? Seems a bit silly to me but it's clearly bothering a lot of people lol

Sure, we'll talk again in the coming months and years and see how our dating philosophies and strategies develop. I aim only for the best reality possible for myself and the other people I am in contact with.

I generally agree but I think you can follow her lead at times especially if underneath you're the one setting up the frame of the relationship. Being competitive for the sake of masculinity is a road to becoming a pseudo alpha male I think the most important thing is to have a lot of self-awareness and not pandering to women for validation or just to get laid. If you stick to your values and principles you find women that are much more aligned with you and you build high quality relationships as opposed to being the "taking out the garbage/doing the dishes so my wife will hopefully please consider agreeing to sex tonight for the first time in weeks" type of guy.

Right but now you're guilty of anecdotal fallacy also I think that thought of yours is not correct and also has been argued against by multiple women in this thread alone.

This post is for @Leo Gura and really any other that believe in an AI crash. I will seek to prove that this is basically impossible and AI companies are already in the too big to fail category and ChatGPT moving towards military industrial complex instead of a business to consumer model is a proof of that. The whole reshoring manufacturing of America over the next 10 years is based on their tech supremacy. Remember the whole meme of american workers retuning to work in factories? Obviously that will not happen and the US will aim to be a robotics and automation leader, which it's already well positioned to do. A K shaped crash will absolutely happen and will serve in further squeezing the middle class into nothing as their labor becomes literally obsolete. Leo your idea that AI value is based on AGI is misguided. AI value prop is based on enterprise workforce. The whole overinflated valuation of the market is based on the premise that AI agents can replace human employees en masse. That premise is still up in the air but as someone who works with AI tools and automation daily I'd say it's already a done deal, the macro forces are just too powerful and humans not adaptable enough. It's also heavily based in the military industrial complex really as you print money to make top tier weapons with which you secure global trade and force countries into doing commerce under your umbrella and get rich off of financialization and exporting the USD. The US has just proved in its Maduro operation and its Iran strikes that their military supremacy is as unchallenged as ever and the whole tech-AI industry fits right into that. Having said this I would say that claiming that an AI bubble crash is imminent or even likely has a MASSIVE BURDEN OF PROOF under it and I invite anybody to try and make an argument and case for it. I'm pretty confident that the corporate layoffs we've been seeing will keep accelerating throughout this year and it's highly likely that Trump and his Tech buddies will introduce some sort of UBI promise this year with the primaries to secure their votes and burry their epstein scandal further.

I don't think ugly people are ever outright ignored. I think they feel the two-class system and the lack of privilege they get compared to their better-looking peers and it creates resentment in them that feeds the victim complex that leads to a psychological cocktail that makes it hard to be a positive, fun and valuable person to be around.

Idk bro to me I like to define things clearly so there is no confusion and vagueness when I think about things in my own life or when I talk about it with others. I touched on everything you've brought up today, relationships get locked in either due to codependency or true alignment. Both can be love, depends on how you define it. The main thing to watch out for is infatuation without alignment as that will inevitably end in a painful breakup as the two people are not right for eachother but are attracted to each other for whatever reason.

No to me that's pretty accurate in my experience. I still love my ex and wish the best for her despite her being too chaotic to have in my life to the point I can't communicate with her. I loved her when we were dating and I loved her when we were on and off fucking for 6 months after we broke up officially. If you want to have a serious intellectual discussion like serious adults then we need to define the terms we use and think deeply about what we're communication about otherwise it's gonna be very surface level.

Plenty of ways to feel and express love. You can date 6 people in a polycule and love all 6. Maybe you love one more than another deep down for whatever reason or you're in a hierarchical relationship with one main wife and have 3 other girlfriends that you also love but they're not as deeply involved in your life so you love them less. To me love is not really the problem to figure out in a relationship, you will feel a lot of love for whatever person you're dating. The real problem is not having your shit together in your life so you create predictable problems for yourself and others or having psychological blindspots that you haven't figured out that create the aforementioned problems.

Define love

I mean bro, with the relationship history you’ve shared across this thread, you might want to sit down and introspect on what love actually means to you and where your blind spots are around it. When someone says "I don't need to deconstruct it, I know what it feels like," on a self-actualization forum, I think that's a pretty clear hint of a shadow hiding somewhere there. Feeling the high of love or infatuation doesn't mean you understand the mechanics of how it works especially if you've had many relationships that end in volatile ways.

Not at all. You seem to not have taken the time to deconstruct love and examine both what it means for you and how it's shown up in human history as a whole. This is a good video where the anthropologist Helen Fisher talks about making love her PhD thesis and researching the difference between infatuation and alignment in a relationship.

Nah if people stick together beyond infatuation and they're not compatible that's classic codependency. Most people men and women have not studied or practiced dating strategy and don't know how to attract high quality partners into their life and therefore are desperate and in scarcity. That fact alone explains most toxic relationships.

@Joshe Thanks for breaking it down, that's what I mean yes. After the chemical cocktail is gone from her brain, the woman should be able to sit down and think about the relationship and think "holy FUCK I can't believe I found this man! My life with him is gonna be awesome!" That's truly the only thing apart from Sharia law that will tie your woman to you basically forever. That's why a lot of conservative men like the idea of taking women's rights away, it stops them from having to compete against other men in the dating marketplace. Most men especially now with women dominating the job marketplace don't really offer that much value and I think that's central to the dating crisis. Men also have a cognitive bias towards rebellion and self-determination as opposed to bending down to the system and the laws of the universe, so it seems to be difficult for a lot of us to just work towards becoming a more valuable man.

Nah I think the overall life alignment is the only true answer. Sex gives good emotions but women can be pretty ruthless about that if you stop offering value. Women are famous for inwardly breaking up with men months before the actual breakup happens. There are famous examples of this in history. Queen Elizabeth I is famous for having her favorite lover Robert Devereux executed for example. Some women are more ruthless than others but in general I think intellectual compatibility is overlooked by people. If you guys talk and she realizes you aren't connecting with her needs and desires and she can't sway you verbally then she will start untangling herself from you.

Never with two girls, only picking up a chick with my roommate and fucking her together. It sounds phenonemal, I really want to rent a nice cabin with a hot tub, sauna and lake and chill there for 1-2 weeks with 2-3 girls and just step away from the world and just work on my stuff and enjoy my women away from society. We did a cabin trip with my buddies a few years ago and had 4 dudes and 6 women and it was a blast, almost ended up with everyone going skinny dipping. It was fun but having other men there ruins the vibe though.

Yeah could be, idk my main interest is mostly in closed polycules and threesomes with outside girls and my main chicks. I meant more like if one of my girls wants to try it out with an old flame and then decide if she wants to stay in the polycule or back to him. I don't think I would mesh with a woman that specifically likes seeing other men regularly, sounds like too much of an extroverted hedonist for me. I tend to like more introverted women that have a deep relationship with themselves, probably are sapiosexuals and are looking for dominant man.

Seems like in general you're in scarcity. Practice some game and build some social capital so many attractive and cool women want to date you and I think this problem will solve itself.

Sure so you mean infatuation then? A lot of times people "fall in love" with people that are toxic for them and it leads to messy breakups down the line. I don't think that's an admirable type of love. I think true love includes both genuine infatuation with the other but also alignment with your goals and desires so you can keep dating them for long periods of time without predictable issues coming up to ruin it.

Of course, feelings are important and of course polyamorous relationships will invoke stronger feelings in both directions than a vanilla monogamous relationships. Usually people in poly that hook up with others outside of their main partner have certain rules they follow like they check in a certain amount of times and they either don't allow sleepovers or do depending on the couples. For me being able to depend on the individual is the most important if I'm gonna intertwine my life intimately with others. So if I had multiple girlfriends and one of them told me upfront she has some type of feelings for another dude and wants to go hookup with him and keeps up communication throughout the process and tells me after hey that was awesome, not gonna see him again or hey that was awesome I wanna keep seeing him or hey that was awesome, I'm breaking up with you to go date him that's all fine with me as long as I'm not in the dark anxious about what's going on. This is why in general poly couples have much stronger communication and emotional awareness than monogamous couples because there are more layers to navigate and negotiate in their relationships.

Falling in love is so hard to define and quantify though. It can include codependent love, shallow short term infatuation like new relationship energy in polyamory, bipolar type love where someone loves you and then you offend them and they hate you 1 hour later, etc