LordFall

He's hardly failed. This is but the beginning. He just found out about his autoimmune gastritis last month. He's gonna start heavily fighting it as well as his girlfriend's endometriosis which is a massive disease affecting like 10% of women worldwide. People's attacks on this guy are disturbing. Not that long ago one of the leading forms of medicine was to bleed people so that the balance of humors(bodily fluids) in their body could be restored. That's partly how George Washington died. Soon enough our current medical practices will look just as barbaric. Medicine makes wild progress in very little time and are many massive initiatives worldwide lead by different people to work on curing all diseases within the next decades. AI's recent recursive learning breakthroughs lead me to believe this will inevitably end in major success for humanity.

What do you mean by not allowing yourself to sleep with them? Like you don't know how to escalate or you have a mental block around it? It is fun but you need to structure systems in your life around it otherwise it's a waste of time and other areas of your life will lag behind. Which is why these guys start businesses where they go around the country and get paid to practice talking to girls and teaching other dudes about it.

Not enough bro. This year has been involved a lot of forced restructuring for me. Last year I made much more money but I was dependent on one main client that was paying me $5k/month and then we changed the format to be a pay per event contract which switched me from being an hourly worker to only working when I wanted to but having to deliver on hosting real world events for him which cut my income by about half. I moved back with my dad to cut my expenses and restructure my cashflow so its not dependent on working in hours and lets me acquire multiple clients that I can fulfill with a reasonable amount of work hours and enjoy life. By Q4 of this year it should start paying off and by next spring I should be able to travel and start to live the live I talked about here.

I don't know why people call it sleeping like a baby, they are notorious terrible sleepers. New parents average 4-5 hours of sleep in the first year of their newborn being alive. I don't think you understand how well I'm gonna sleep with my robot butler taking care of that little mini me on top of hiring an actual maternity nurse to soothe the journey. Also think about it if you got 3 women in a polyamorous setup and they raise your kids together then each women both has friends all the time with them to make it less stressful and boring and also each women has to do less chores by herself and has more energy and time to spend on you while you're done taking care of the business and the kids are sleeping and now you got your women for the evening. Sometimes people paint this caricature of money and game like wanting to only drink from 24 karat gold glasses or only picking up women from a Lamborghini; that's not really the idea. For example for that maternity nurse to help with first year of raising a kid that's about $7-10K/month. If you don't want to pay another woman to raise your kid and just want your wife to be able to be a stay at home mom depending on the cost of living in your area you easily need a $200k+ salary to afford that and a decent quality of life IF NOT MORE LIKE 300-400K. You guys know how people on this forum are like OMG I've awakened to God I can do anything life is a dream! That's basically how rich people live. They solve most of their actual mechanical problems with real solutions but that's expensive. I don't really aim to live like a low or middle class person long term if I don't have to, there's literally no point it's painful and boring for no reason. I don't know who knows what my actual marriage will look like 10 years from now but I'm looking forward to it. I've always been a romantic I love being in a relationship but it needs to be the right one, I learned all I didn't like from my ex so I'm building my life to avoid the same pitfalls in the meanwhile. What about you, what are your current dating bottlenecks and what type of monthly action are you taking towards achieving your dream dating life?

How so?

Well obviously both is the goal. If you have a girlfriend that likes women why not go and fuck other hot women together? As well as experience the many beautiful places the world has to offer? I think if you do a lot of meditation and consciousness practice during this process you can actually destroy your own hedonic adaptation whereas usually people that do this get tired of it after a while. I got my mind to the point where I have crushes on women just like when I was a teenager but even while having slept with a lot to the point where a lot of guys are usually jaded at this point. I think that's the best gift you can give yourself, find multiple women you have crushes on, date them all together, travel the world, build a great business so you all get rich together, contribute to the social causes you care about and leave your mark on humanity. That's the good life. Why would anyone settle for anything less than that? That makes no sense to me.

Wait til you find out about femboys and trans girls. Oh boy. Why do you get angry when surrounded with luxury? You feel like you're a slave to the environment and have to be unauthentic to belong and it angers you? I get that I'm an INTP so I get fun figuring out systems and creating my own. Standing on a yacht is way more fun to me than standing on grass. There is content potential, capacity limits, you invite too many girls so just the right amount show up, all the girls are in bikinis and perhaps we'll find a good excuse to get people off their phone and swimming into the water, jet skis, boat barbecue, yacht tie up parties, lake drone footage, fucking in the cabin, etc. What on earth are you experiencing in the park? I want to take two girls with me to go work in a cabin by a lake here. I think it would be very fun to be out of the city and relaxing with a sauna and body of water and just chill smoke weed, fuck, read books, etc. Not even a luxurious cabin but a nice comfy spot for just one week, which is really not enough but is a good start. That's $2200 not covering gas, food and missing work so really more like $3500. I can experience all of this with the hottest women on the planet and you're trying to sell me walks in the parks with Sally from the neighbourhood. Once again I think you're insane my friend or perhaps I have been ruined by seeing abundance up close so I can't really go back to living a mediocre life.

You should, achieve your best life. Cultural analysis is quite hard at the moment, the next 20 years of human history are gonna be a cluster fuck of different dynamics intersecting. You say demographic crises I say AI automation and biological immortality taking our species to way greater and more exciting heights than we've ever experienced before. I think it's much easier to focus on our own lives than try to call what different cultures and societies are gonna do. Personally I'm in that boat where I'm maximizing my status and SMV as much as possible and not settling down anytime soon. I think this is a great strategy, many people in the past were forced into unsatisfactory marriages due to societal pressures to settle down. I doubt I'll have kids before 38-40 and perhaps with multiple women depending on how my polyamorous experiences develop.

Well what is your life purpose or your ideal life? If you aren't anywhere close to living your desired lifestyle then I think a lack of satisfaction is expected. If you are forced to socialize with people that you don't really build connections with then you can be caught in a real catch-22 situation. What type of people do you wanna work with? Network with? Date? You can develop a steady meditation practice to become more and more satisfied with the present moment but even then you just learn to appreciate and really tolerate circumstances that you do not desire. So what do you desire and are you achieving weekly and monthly successes towards those goals or not?

Totally agreed. To keep growing you have to do a few challenging things each month and keep pushing your boundaries. I move cities often so I've seen friends that stagnated and stopped growing and it's pretty sad to see. I experience when someone has been stagnating when they have nothing to talk about. They aren't into business so they don't have any cool projects they're working on. Not really an intellectual so don't follow politics or the economy. Not really socially relevant so they don't know any interesting interesting about people in the city. I don't know how to communicate with people like this. Sometimes they are at least good at talking about themselves so they ramble on and I doze off but sometimes they are bad at conversation and give one word answers and then it becomes truly awkward.

Why don't you have a phone there? There's no service or it's part of the culture to disconnect? That sounds like a cool aspect of it, digital detox is important once in a while for sure.

Got it, apologies I misunderstood. I thought you were shaming him for opening up about his dating life. @AION What do you mean younger women are super open, gen z is like the most self-aware generation in history. I think they have high standards when dating and especially the women don't have tolerance for a man randomly venting or trauma-dumping for no reason and not having his life figured out. That's fine, that's why we have a self-development forum! To figure out all our issues, level up far beyond the masses and date all the hot girls happily ever after.

You don't believe in hot alien girlfriends? How typical.

Quite the contrary. The fact that honest conversation is relegated to the realm of therapy as opposed to being how people interested in self-development talk to each other is insane to me. Honest sharing of real difficulties is how real progress is made. More like a mastermind and less like a forum for trolling, coping and posting nonsense. Why would a dating section on a self-development forum aim to be any different? There is a guy that keeps replying to me with replies of other random dating coaches instead of his lived experience. I'm about to stage an intervention for him and ask him to fully open up on his life and why everything he says is regurgitated from another man and hopefully it turns into an open format therapeutic conversation. This is how we learn and grow; by being able to be vulnerable in sharing shortcomings met with understanding and productive challenge, not with comedic relief and avoidance. What exactly makes you uncomfortable about it?

Bro that's actually so fucking funny lol. Isn't that crazy though? He shoulda put a life-sized cutout of his favorite pornstar next to it. Homeboy is lucky he grew up in the generation before Instagram because nowadays girls can just DM these celebrities and get flown out to fuck them. That's part of why the pickup movement got co-opted by Redpill/Looksmaxxing because when cold approach was being developed in the 90s and popularized before the 2010s the world was still local. It has since become global and hot girls in our cities think of their dating market as global not just you and the other dudes that she knows in that town. I love it, as an intellectual using my brain to get laid is much more fun than cosplaying as an extrovert to pull a girl from cold approach. It's why I was always drawn to social media and online dating game because when you figure out what works then it's immediately obvious when you see the other men hitting their head on invisible walls while you get rewarded with tight pussy as an evolutionary reward.

Haha I go back and forth between thinking that life is perfect and if it was any easier the juice would be ruined to fuck can the difficulty level please be toned down a bit. Cognitive biases are why it's so hard. The mind wants to be comfortable. Having an extraordinary life is not comfortable. The stuff that is taught also needs to be cutting edge because that's what gives you abundance. You have to quantify results to achieve them so a lot of guys also don't know what they want. If someone just wanted one girl to like them and want to date them, as was sort of my goal when I started then that can be achieved after 1-2 years of self-development. Once you see behind the curtain and learn about pickup, social circle/status and entrepreneurship and you realize that there is only friction stopping you from achieving any wild dream you have; life becomes exhilarating. A lot of guys too much ego to succeed. Becoming a student of life and the systems that govern it takes a lot of humility. It means that each time you think you figured it out you have to lot let yourself bask in certainty and leave a big spot open for new strategies and insights. Even on this forum I see so many guys certain of stuff I know for a fact makes no sense or doesn't work. I don't know if it's a non-dual thing like everyone wants to feel like God and if some other dude teaches you a better way it invalidates the juice(I do feel like that sometimes) but it stops a lot of people from overcoming simple problems that's for sure. There is the blueprint for amazing stuff out there though. If someone combines the game and cold approach basics from I mean many sources now to the scaling potential that social media game and social circle offers then there is truly no upside cap. It only takes effort and also the 10x rule is very true and painful in my experience. Your goals and dreams are possible but it's gonna take 5x the amount of time energy and effort to achieve them than you first thought and probably more like 10x.

It can work but it's not really my desired lifestyle. I've had this type of two people struggling against the world romance and it was cute but I'm not really into that anymore. I want women to travel the world with me and help me build businesses and achieve impact. I am not really interested in wrestling in the park and blowing bubble unless it's in that context. If we wrestle in the park and go home and we're middle class people living mediocre and average lives I will dump her and focus on my grind and business until I can achieve the life I want. Wouldn't travelling Europe, going to events and meeting new women together together across a multiple month trip where she doesn't have to work and I handle my client calls and deliverables remotely be 20x more fun? When you or mainstream society tries to sell me a coffee date or wrestling in the park I understand the appeal to simple romanticism but it seems insane to me. If I want to do this for 4 months that's at least $6K/month CAD to spend so $25K and that's the pretty budget version with minimal additional women or any type of luxury experience. Let alone actually being able to blow that kind of money while also having savings and investments being developed as well so it's hard to live that kind of lifestyle on less than $15k CAD/month on top of the ability to work remotely and leveraged ideally so I'm not stuck on a desk 10 hours a day. I've made $5K/month for a client that had simple deliverables so if I can standardize the system I can realistically get 3-4 clients a month doing the same thing and charging similar rates and next year or the year after I'll be living this vision if I take my goals seriously. Dating while low income to me feels like two prisoners trying to date but why the fuck are you trying to date me, let's get out of this cell have the whole world and then we can be co-creators of a beautiful reality. Until then I need to work I cannot be distracted. I hanged out with a multimillionaire for around a year while I was working for him throwing events and it confirmed for me that being financially abundant is important to me. It confirmed each thought I had. Average people live in other people's systems and have no control over their lives. To date in that context would be like if I'm a cuck to society and I can't enjoy my girlfriend or even myself. I need to be independent. Multiple flows of income. Living where I want. Working on the projects I want. Collaborating with whoever I want. Having the funds and access to also take part in the technological revolution we are living in today. Until I have achieved that life and can offer it as well to my dating partners I will be nowhere near satisfied.

My girl tries to look better for me continuously and uses AI to enrich both of our lives? That's a keeper.

No worries, it's your life. Can you elaborate on your life circumstances and what you do for work and what kind of women you're approaching and looking to go on dates with and where you're approaching them? Have you found some success overall from doing this previously like getting a girlfriend, hookups or dates from it or is it your first time giving cold approach a real go? I'm having trouble getting a clear picture of the situation, the more you flesh it out the more helpful getting feedback from the forum will be. The reason I pitch social circle so much is because I've been in pickup community since I was 19 so for 12 years now. I've seen hundreds of guys go through it and in my experience this is what happens to guys: 60% no results at all for various issues, usually due to giving up too early, lack of consistency or lack of improving by using a feedback cycle. 30% mediocre results like 10 dates over 5 years and maybe get laid with 2-3 different women in that time. Some people in this camp end up getting a girlfriend that seems from the outside like they settled and got tired of the pain of dating or accidentally got a girl pregnant and stuck with it. 10% Actually get in abundance in dating and date multiple girls from it and/or all the casual sex they were looking to get from this journey and 30-100+ body count as a result. The guys in that boat seem to have be able to get cool girlfriends they like pretty reliably. Less than 1% actually use it to change their whole life outside of dating and actually build successful networks and brand and end up with it as part of their life purpose and it funds their lifestyle You don't need to necessarily dedicate your whole career to a game adjacent business and build a big social circle game out of it, its a good way to not end up in the 90% that basically lose their time though. I'm not pulling these numbers out of my ass, these are real men I've met and real stories. One of the coolest game trips I've had in my life we roadtripped from Calgary to Edmonton and stopped at the biggest mall in Canada west Edmonton mall to talk to girls and do game challenges and went to this new club as well. The guy that drove ended up getting this random girl pregnant a year after that and from his social media doesn't look like he's doing much in life. The other guy that came with got a hard drug addiction and ended up in like an 8 year messy relationship, continuously breaking up and getting back together and doing drugs with her. He met her like 1 year after we did that trip after picking up multiple other girls beforehand. Another guy I knew like 8 years ago before I went to Toronto was an overweight brown guy that was pretty charming in a funny way and we used to go to the college campus at like 23 years old and he was really good at cold approach and he would get into the sets with the hottest blonde girls ever for like 40 mins while I stood there awkwardly. I was really impressed by his game. He had this strange thing that he brought up where he kept talking about his porn addiction and how how was was on nofap but he just needed a bit of time to get over it. He said the same thing about getting in shape. He never actually pulled any of those hot girls and he fucked a lot of escorts. I came back to that city recently and he was working the same job he was working back then at Fedex and was still trying to figure out his nofap situation and had never gotten a girlfriend in that time and he's still overweight. I tried to invite him to shoot content with me or come to the events I was hosting with hot models now that I figured out social circle a bit but he seemed to ashamed to come and I only saw him 1-2 in my time back in that city. To contrast, one other guy I know paid my club promoter roommate for game coaching since he was getting laid left and right and that guy didn't have a social life and just ran an HVAC company. That guy pulled one of the girls I was going after(just briefly it was not a dishonourable thing just seizing an opportunity) and actually put a lot of time effort in his game and also developed a social circle out of it. We ended up partnering up on a business for a few months and although that didn't work out he started a popular fashion show and events brand in Toronto that is still operational today that he runs with his model girlfriend. I got inspired by his success and he was part of the reason I threw my own fashion show last year in Calgary. https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18060769145048516/ In Toronto all the hot girls were like socialites that got invited to events hosted by clubs, promoters, boat owners, restaurant owners or concerts and events like the Toronto Film Festival. It's hard to break into that scene and if to play you have to pay to play and spend a lot of money which I don't have or date random girls in the suburds. I was lucky to a couple of club promoter roommates and I was educated in the value arbitrage and socialite scenes so I got a textbook multi year education in how it works. It's really the funnest way to live life, it sounds pretty complicated but it just starts with hosting your first event and building your leverage from there. The guys that don't seem to have really benefited from their game journey never built systems around it. Just did purist cold approach on the street and never partnered up with other operators to increase their results and build something long lasting. This is in 2014 from the first RSD Inner Circle meetup I went to and the first night I went to a club. I'm the guy on the left of the two guys with glasses. Later that year RSD had their scandal and they stopped running the groups themselves but a lot of them survived and in most cities there was groups of 50-300 guys regularly day gaming and night gaming with each other. That was so fun and the golden age of pickup for me but I'll just say that if you told those guys the results they would've had 12 years later on that day they probably would be quite disappointed and quit. That guy in the pink is the exception and he seems to have built a cool for himself and became one of the 10% that got many results and changed his social and dating life. I'm not where I wanna be yet but if you told me then the results I would've had since then I would've been pretty mind blown and not believe you. I'm shooting for that 1% life changing results and not quite yet there but everyday closer.

I think Leo has fallen into dating complacency and is using cope like "there are no spiritual women out there!" to avoid the hard emotional labor of finding someone compatible with his lifestyle and having to build back the social muscle to attract hot women that are also mentally healthy and compatible with an individual with an entrepreneurial mindset. I think reducing wanting to date a man that's financially secure and abundant to stage orange desire is a bit of a cop out. Dating is supposed to be about enriching eachother's lives and raising kids if you want to go down that path. Even just living a basic life without worrying too much about the rising costs of groceries and rent requires a pretty high income these days and age. If you want to add to that occasional vacations to see and explore the world and being able to take time off to explore life purposes without being stressed by work, you definitely need to make a lot of income in a quite flexible way and have decent savings. To me the way I think about is what kind of dating life can I have vs me the exact same but I actually spent a year to figure out my business and now have $10k+/month in disposable income. The difference is one version of me has to budget immensely and mostly does coffee/cheap drinks dates or walks in the park and have to juggle now having emotional partners and also still figuring out my business. The other version can now afford to spend thousands on his dating life a month and I already pull decently so I can jump to a rotation of 3-5 girls if I wanted to and also travel the world with them while working on my life purpose and helping them explore theirs. The difference is so drastic to me that I have been in a monk mode for a couple of years now to figure out my business and it's working slowly but surely. To me that's also the difference between looking for acceptance vs actualizing your potential across different niches as a man. If I was my actualized self I would have more women then I'd know what to do with, I have built my life with wide access in mind so now only disposable income is the real bottleneck. It seems reductionistic but I would say 60% of men are in the same boat and 35% of men have already good disposable income but struggle with more technical game and dating strategy and 5% have truly unique issues if not even less then that. I'm more an introvert than you are and I still do a lot of socializing through my communities, it's not like I decided to be a hermit but I found a lot of strength and clarity in this path and the women I've been able to cultivate in my acquaintance circle and in my owned communities has jumped through the roof in these past few years. I don't know what you do for work and what your income is but I think focusing on that will yield more clarity and effectiveness over demanding acceptance and vulnerability from women when you are in the building phase.

Do you think you are the best option of most women that you go on dates with? Often times being deep can simply be a defence mechanism for not having your shit together and using dating as a distraction from getting money in the bank and figuring out viable cashflow verticals that will allow us to life out our life purposes to their fullest potential.

You're on the right path my friend. I relate with your journey. Deep diving is great and really fun to do with women especially with some drinks/weed and spending the whole night contemplating the mysteries of the universe. That's how I started dating my first girlfriend. I think it can be very straight forward and logical though. What it comes down to is what are this person's goals and where are they at in life and how do my own goals and spot in life mix with that? Does it make sense for us to to keep hanging out together over weeks/months/years and does it look like our life will get better as a result or are we incompatible but fuck it lets flirt and she's got some big titties and hopefully I get on those tonight if I say the right things which I believe is what you referred to earlier by dark game which I get. I stopped cold approaching for a couple years because I realized that me and my friends at the time were basically doing Tits or gtfo game where the whole point was to hook the girl and see if she's DTF or not and then next girl if she's not. For me personally I appreciate a wide variety of women but my ideal relationship type is like a mentor dynamic or a dom/sub relationship to put it in BDSM terms. For me personally I want to figure out a few more things with my business to be comfortable adopting this frame in relationships because I think a lot of people into BDSM are geeks and sex nerds and don't offer a lot of value and it's not really the life I wanna live. That's my own ideal relationship format and the way I view things, you will have your own. Each of the 16 MBTI type has more or less an ideal relationship type that they're usually most happy with. I'm an INTP so I like systems, to me they feel liberating and safe and I have tried to date more willy nilly and I found it deeply unsatisfying and unsettling each time. They can see you that's great. I think forums and social media are a good place to test more radical forms of openness and vulnerability. Dating is literally an interview though they are seeing if they want to make the effort to keep seeing you repeatedly and you are worth the effort to tangle your life with. I think it's very easy to well romanticize relationships especially on a spiritual forum but basically it's a ruthless life interview with usually only room for one viable candidate out of whole city.

Have you tried social circle game? I would recommend you organize an event while it's still summer and just spend 2 weeks inviting girls to it. The good thing is it lowers your bar for a successful approach, she just has to be vaguely interested in your event or even future events that you might throw to give you her IG. If the vibe is good you can still lead it to an instant date or more direct and forego the event but this dual purpose of approaches is how I've seen the guys that were really successful socially operate. An event can be very basic it can be all you can eat sushi dinner and you just tell girls that we're doing this sushi dinner wanna come? That's probably the cheapest and best. If you're artistic you can also throw an open mic or a photoshoot. If you are simply looking for pure dates from cold approach that can work but this way is way better IMO as it builds your social capital and network on top of getting you dates.

Calibration in your expression is very important in dating. I think it's a stage green trap to want to always express yourself freely and be accepted regardless of what comes out. The point of dating is to present yourself as a attractive dating partner for someone that you're interested in. Your mom's is to accept you unconditionally and most moms fall short of that. You got unconditional love for yourself and that's about it, that doesn't even exist in most 20+ year marriages. To have a functional relationships with other adults you need to behave and express yourself in a certain way that is appropriate to the social setting and is adding value to their life otherwise you will have issue dating.

Totally. I just wanted to emphasize that total disclosure for the sake of being a real and authentic person is not really effective nor the sign of a mature individual. I think you can be charming and confident while not making stuff up about yourself and still presenting yourself like a cool guy if you don't have your life all figured out yet. That's the furthest I can go in terms of generalizations though, @Miguel1 is gonna have to elaborate on the exact issues he's facing in terms of people not being authentic or not responding well to his vulnerability. I named one possibility in my comment being that perhaps he's feeling financially insecure and not confident in his career and feels that partners should accept him regardless on dates and that's where the topic of honesty and vulnerability is coming from. That's just one option and perhaps I'm wrong and he's sitting on 500k and it's another issue entirely. If we keep these discussions very vague it's impossible to accurately offer insight or diagnose issues and produce actual breakthroughs in our lives which is hopefully the goal here.