LordFall

I somewhat agree with you. I don't think surrender is the right notion though because then the woman will have to carry you as baggage. For me I want to meet an equal in reality that God made for me to experience reality with and grow with. God is making me work for it.

Sure I think that can be true but I'm weary of infatuation it can cause problems. For me to fall in love with someone they would have to fit specific traits or I would reject them. Beauty in the way you describe it is not really the issue, if you believe in non-duality we all come from love and are beautiful in many ways that's not necessarily the issue. The issue for me is does this person fit into the life I wanna live and can help me achieve my goals?

How do you find this true love? Seems like some people have an easier time at it that others. I think someone's best bet is optimizing for the patterns you can spot and if somehow the universe decides to drop a perfect partner on your lap take it otherwise follow proven systems that yield predictable results. Like cold approach and social circle game.

I think especially for people like myself and I'm sure @AtmanIsBrahman and a lot of people on this forum who's brain are already overthinking and good at optimizing then it's great advice. The action is the most important part and optimization of action should only be 20% of it.

The simple fix is to talk to hot women more often. Your brain knows what you’re in a rare opportunity and heightens pressure so you don’t fuck it up which makes you fuck it up. Prove your brain wrong and make it not a rare event. Find and download social circle blueprint 1 and 2 by RSD Luke and create a social circle with hot women that like to hangout around you and also do cold approach a couple of times a week which if you do it right will fuel your social circle. Also realize that most men never sleep with an attractive woman in their life so you’re blessed with the knowledge to learn this on the internet. Take action where most men don’t. Also make sure that your life is setup properly and you have value to offer. Often times we look at women as the prize because well they are. If you were a man that could attract many attractive women then your subconscious would not feel unworthy and make you anxious around them. You'd be more excited and at ease like a challenge that's not higher difficulty than you handle but just right.

I mean bro that's the perks of being a passport bro you can find loads of women that are chill, loving and comfortable in SEA, Eastern Europe or south america. You made the classic mistake of trying to settle down too early without having really explored your options. I would talk to her about this honestly and see if she's open to an open relationship but if she isn't then I would break it off now and see what the women of the world have to offer before promising exclusivity to the first one you feel comfortable with. I don't know too much about you, feel free to elaborate but it's very common for dudes in the west that had a hard time dating and finding a woman that accepts them and they go overseas and all the sudden they find a girlfriend super quickly. It's probably not necessarily that this girl in unusually loving, its what happens when as a man you go to an even playing field where what you have to offer is actually valued. This is also the same as the starter wife phenomena where a dude gets randomly successful or gets more status then isn't satisfied with his girlfriend/wife anymore. It's an unlucky situation but welcome to the monogamy paradigm. If having a phenomenal woman that is your intellectual match is a priority for you(of which there are plenty of and I think it's important to go really long term) , then you really have only two options as I've said in the first paragraph.

Lol he's basically if the deal is true it's a joke and just gave up all american interests of the last 40 years.

@AtmanIsBrahman Club promoters sleep with way more women than looksmaxxers ever will. It's because they got a setup that's working for them. They have access to a valuable environment in which they have status and rare sources(they get a booth and free bottles worth thousands per night in a nightlife based city) and they practice their social skills each week. You call that either logistics or social circle and it will trump looks each time. It's not either or though you should get everything you can working in your favour but it's not worth overobsessing your appearance bro. Start working out 3-4 times weekly if you aren't right now, start to build a circle in your city that goes out with you and works on business, throw events like parties, photoshoots and music events and your life will scale exponentially.

It's true the more time I spend improving my life and myself the more women tend to want to spend time with me and entertain my videos. I haven't really experienced a diminishing return yet if anything it's getting to a point where I can do it across cities with my content and communities so I'm gonna triple down on what I've been doing. With those women before it was like they would value me enough to chill with me and sleep with me but if something got in the way they wouldn't put energy into maintaining the relationship so it was a fleeting connection.

What about incels in their basement with a job that don't wipe their ass like you said in the other thread. Are they well on their way to finding their perfect partner that won't use them? Or could it be that the other game involves a value exchange with others? Life is mostly boring and painful, you being a well put together man and having surplus resources, energy and time is gonna alleviate the suffering of the people that are in your life romantic or otherwise. The animal kingdom is the same way, peacocking in literal peacocks is a sign of value as it shows they can survive predators and the environment and thus would be good mates for females. How is your own dating life and business/career going? Seems that you're bypassing possibly because you don't feel up to par? Feel free to share and we can help you fix some blindspots perhaps. We all have some it's part of life.

Which part doesn't make sense to you? A 700 lbs dude is an extreme example not really worth addressing. I basically explained why softmaxxing makes sense here. Most men do not maximize the features of themselves that would be considered looksmaxxing. It's a great enough proportion that people have argued enough about it that's its on the wikipedia. Some people take it into a neurotic level and refuse to take action and because pickup and redpill are now outside the overton window the hardmaxxing part of looksmaxxing has surfaced in mainstream media because it's shocking to people. Shocking stuff makes for easy headlines. Dude smashes his face with hammer and gets famous vs 30% of men aren't dressed and groomed optimally nor workout enough.

No now you're projecting because your ego is hurt that I called you out on it. It has to do with improving your appearance to attract people. Stuff that is surgical is generally considered the hardmaxxing portion of lookxmaxxing. It's literally on the wikipedia.

What form did the disaffection take? Was it more like she wasn't helping you fulfill your goals or just in general you didn't enjoy her presence? I loved having a girlfriend last time I had one but she was BPD and made my life a nightmare so when I was with her I wished I was single but it wasn't the experience of having a woman in my life in and of itself that was lacking; that part was awesome. I think your instinct is correct that recentering yourself and knowing yourself better will answer a lot of the questions. Having an exploration phase afterwards makes a lot of sense especially if you've only dated that girl and she's your main reference point for women. You say you don't want kids now but later right? That makes a lot of sense. A lot of the world is stuck in an enforced monogamy framework where any dating has the implication of long term relationship and kids but that's a bit silly. There's nothing wrong with sharing your life with someone for a few months/years and then going apart. FWBs are great for that I had a few since my breakups. It lets you experience women and see what you like and dislike in a partner without the pressure of going all in. For example for me I disliked having FWBs where the woman was working on goals that were too separate from mine. It felt our lives were siloed or just being independent and then just getting together to fuck, hangout but working on different missions. Especially as an intellectual if I don't understand her pursuits and think on it with her I felt very disconnected from them even when that was the case with my 1 year GF. So for me developing general business skills/the money that would help my partner(s) achieve whatever goals they have is very important. @Hojo You're literally making things up, this is part of the community and the term. Google/AI it. I dislike when you butt in topics that you have no knowledge of, to me it feels very egotistical and like you're wasting my time writing stuff that has no substance. Especially with some certainty on things you clearly don't understand.

Thank you my friend. What does an ideal dating life look like for you? Clarity helps so much I find, the more I define mine the more my brain irons out the patterns to make it happen.

What you're talking about is very esoteric, it's hard to make sense of. Can you share some of your journey so we can better understand what you mean?