LordFall

In that case it would be more a lack of cohesive of systems thinking as opposed to a failure of empathy. The things that you've named don't necessarily lead to negative outcomes, you'd have to be more precise in the exact cause and effect that you're pointing to. Lumping capitalism as all bad for example is a classic argument of stage green people. A lot of people on this forum have a stage green shadow, it's something I encounter a lot. It doesn't mean that I invalidate all their points and use it to refuse the feedback it offers. I simply find that pointing out that fact gives both a compliment to the user that they have an elevated level of development but also seem to fall into pitfalls that seem common for people that generally seem to operate with that set of values. I also point to ways for people to integrate new paradigms and models that I personally have found instrumental in both increasing my understanding of the world but also my effectiveness in it. This one insight on the difference between sympathy and empathy I find massive. A lot of times, if you have too much sympathy for someone you will not be able to actually understand the world from their point of view and be able to help them if you're in a coaching position, for example. Same with developing a political understanding. In that niche a lot of people seem to sympathize first when looking at an unfortunate issue instead of being able to deconstruct the problem to find actually viable solutions.

Sure, I appreciate the compliment on my project. You're a smart guy and tough to argue with lol I do think this is good discourse, if we have only pleasant chit chat at the end of the day how are we supposed to have impactful conversations that provoke real change? I do think it's important to qualify our track record and put some real weight to what we say. Dating is a bit more nuanced of a niche but if we're to have a conversation on business, career or even health and nutrition then it would become more obvious why the source of the information matters just as much as the quality of the argument. My country Canada is in a trade war against the most powerful country in the world at the moment, I assure you the Canadian administration has not given me a call to ask for my opinion on their tariff policy. They messed up though, the fools! I'm waiting for that call any day... You see my point right, that was my insight on relevance. I'm not very relevant in that conflict and that's fine. Over the next decade I will put time to work on my poltical connections and network and perhaps the next prime minister 10 years from now will genuinely give me a call to ask for my take on stuff. For now, we chat about it in the politics section but if someone that was more experienced than me in those fields said so to qualify their post it would change how I approach the conversation with them and how much I weigh their opinions vs looking at the multiple PHD award winners in the comment section of the average IG reel or reddit post for example. Questioning someone on their credibility and asking them to put context behind what they're saying is not inherently an insult nor should even be taken as a direct confrontation. I can do it in that way if the tone of conversation is already aggressive, I don't mind the heat but the intent is not to be belligerent; it's to have high quality discourse on a self-development forum. That's a fair point, I'm not running an ad here though. I'm genuinely having an honest discussion. If someone pays me for coaching then I take more time to understand their perspective before I make a protocol for them as that's the proper format for it that type of engagement. @Natasha Tori Maru You do have a point that I can be more uncouth than I should probably be and I do own that. I will just say I think if we are trying to have serious discussions instead of circle jerks then we need to be precise with what we're trying to do and be willing to open up about our issues and track record if we want accountability or even accurate discussing without the status posturing that anonymous discussions turn into. @Willy Phallicus Thanks for taking the time to understand my perspective man. I think you made some good points.

Calling light debate friction "bullying" while unraveling into "I get laid" is the clearest sign of an unstable frame. Real-world results matter, but having your single romantic case study be a zero-sum collision in your living room that burned a ten-year friendship isn't proof of abundance—it's an admission of zero social circle architecture. Maybe there’s more nuance to that story—feel free to share if there is—but since that’s the specific example you chose to highlight as proof of your results, that's what we have to evaluate. Honestly, I think that would do more harm than good. When a man lacks the operational systems to generate clean options externally, he is forced into opportunistic, high-collateral moves that destroy his own inner circle just to get laid; teaching other men to operate from that level of scarcity is destructive. Competence means building systems that create real-world leverage without cannibalizing your personal life in the process. Your story is common, a lot of men take low ROI opportunities to get laid and end up blowing up their life as a result. It's a lesson on thinking with both heads at the same time to create true harmony in your life.

What on earth is happening here? Not everything is about putting people down, can we have a baseline of analysis in our conversations without victimizing ourselves please lol Watch this video; it breaks down the documented Stage Green tendency to interpret objective systemic analysis as personal victimization. I don't think I have a victim mindset, I tend to acknowledge my shortcomings and work to fix them. I have thought about your points in our conversations and I find some of them worth thinking about but I don't find many of them to hold much credibility.

Acknowledging that private sentiment exists does not invalidate market reality; cherishing a memory or loving your family is great for inner peace, but romantic attraction operates on external value exchange. People do not date your internal contemplation, they date your competence, lifestyle, and what you tangibly bring to the table. Thanks for the vulnerability in sharing that, but interpersonal dynamics are nuanced: maybe your friend had a victim mindset, felt entitled to a woman he couldn't attract, and let his bruised ego end the friendship. Or maybe he felt you snaked him behind his back, compromised basic trust, and decided a man who moves on a girl his best friend wants isn't adding enough value or loyalty to remain in his life. Relationships are completely voluntary, meaning he didn't owe you continued friendship and you didn't owe him staying away from that girl. You made your move, incurred the trade-off of a ten-year brotherhood, and projecting that unresolved history onto an internet stranger who shares his personality type won't change the outcome. The value I brought here is the exact value I offer across all my work: cutting through comfortable intellectual theories and grounding men in the harsh, mechanical realities of human systems and sexual dynamics. I broke down how attraction actually functions in the real world, exposed the cognitive biases of the victim mindset, and held a firm boundary against low-effort posturing until you were forced to formulate structured arguments. I think intellectualism is great but it must offer results in the real world, otherwise you're wasting your time and perhaps being provably delusional. If holding a mirror up to passive-aggressive behavior, calling out bad-faith debate tactics, and refusing to validate self-soothing abstractions feels like "negative value" to you, that is simply the discomfort of having your intellectual shield dismantled. In the marketplace of ideas, real value isn't coddling someone's ego or pretending every subjective cope is equally valid; it's providing the clarity and leverage necessary to produce actual results. You characterizing me as being the antagonistic one is a bit laughable here bro.

Are you being disingenuous or this is a real argument that makes sense in your mind? Me like to take a walk down the park or enjoying spending time with family members, does not make my point weaker. It elevates it if anything, there are multiple quantifiable forms of value. How have I been fragile? I've asked you to expand on things that you enjoy and shared how I've so and hosted events and built communities around it. You answer by shutting down and starting to project in weird ways.

This is what I mean by having a fragile sense of self: when someone can't face the standards of the outside world, it inevitably results in cognitive defense mechanisms or simply mental blocks. I did not only defend my definition of value I explained to you the actual definition of the word and how it's used in the world. You can't run away from definitions bro, if you have a block towards understanding it and it seems to stem from your psyche how is that not a mental block? You're gonna say I'm insulting you again? Come on get a grip. Of course I have plenty of things in life that I don't have a quantifiable value towards. What does this have to do with a discussion on dating? It's great to live in a fairy tale world and if that has produced great results in your previous dating life then more power to you but I highly doubt it. Most people want to invest their time and life in others that give them value and is gonna enhance the quality of their life. The only other options are just dating random people that slightly peak your interest, not date at all or have a weird self-destructive streak and almost consciously look for people that are destructive to your life. Plenty of people do that, don't get me wrong, but I wouldn't recommend it as a dating strategy.

One way I've found porn damages sex is that it erodes the ability to tolerate high levels of arousal without rushing toward an immediate conclusion. I once had an orgasm with my ex-girlfriend that lasted for around 30 seconds and it was the most insane physical pleasure I've experienced but it only happened once. We tried to do a couple meditation around that time so perhaps it had something to do with it. I think tantric sexual practices have a lot of potential that most people, even amongst sexually active couples, never experience. It’s definitely something I plan to explore much deeper in the coming years.

No, you clearly have a mental block and are refusing to internalize the point. I said already that what other people value is their right as a free willed being. Value is mainly an economic term and is quantifiable. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Value_(economics) Your mom values you (hopefully) whether or not you offer any value to the world. The marketplace rewards you with money if you solve problems for customers. The dating market rewards you with hookups and quality partners wanting to be in your life if you are a valuable human being to be around. You also have not made a clear point as to what you value that the marketplace doesn't recognize nor made a convincing argument as to why others should also value that thing. We call this marketing. You might very well be right but right now you are arguing based on vague generalizations that I can only suppose come from your own feelings of being invalidated by the marketplace. As I've suggested, I think it'll be a worthwhile experience for you to drop the ego and simply just become skilled in a field that others generally value. What are you good at and what do you enjoy doing? I create communities and host creative events because it combines my own introverted tendencies and systemizing abilities with the real needs of the performance arts community. Creating cool events is mostly an introverted endeavor, you have to sit down and figure out what groups of people enjoy and the logistics around planning an event around it. Me figuring that out required me spending many years as a regular pickup artist just trying to brute force cold approach, then getting involved in the nightlife industry and then combining my own unique strengths with the needs of the marketplace to create a unique product that people value.

I've already addressed your point but you seem to not like the answer. These concepts are universal scoreboards because they are culminations of other concepts. If someone optimizes their life for privacy, stability and peace and then demands global recognition for their life that's a bit silly. I hope that they enjoy their life but they are indeed irrelevant to the rest of us by definition. The reason I keep coming back to stage green is it tends to build a worldview to isolate itself emotionally from the world. "It's not that I'm incompetent, it's that the world doesn't value the type of competence that I bring!" That is true in some contexts but more often than not it's more that the person refuses to put time and effort towards building competence in the fields that actually solve problems for others. I have read the communist manifesto and attended to a handful of communist gatherings. A lot of the people there are college aged, smart and well educated in economic theory. What is the value they provide to the world? 0 I've been out drinking with a group of communists since as an intellectual I enjoy their depth of knowledge but they have massive mental blocks and cognitive bias. Their conversations inevitably come to we need to build influence in the world, fuck my boss is being so annoying what a bourgeois dickhead and ends up in talking about the general revolution and one day we will over throw the system! When I asked them have you ever tried to start a business? They said "of course not I'm not corrupt!" Then I said imagine needs help working out and they have extra money to pay you to be their personal trainer or someone needs you to mow their lawn and they're happy you did it and compensated you for it; where is the exploitation? This is what I call the victim mindset: living as the effect rather than the cause in the world. It’s fine to point out flaws in the system, but when you refuse to build practical solutions, you invalidate your own critique. That is when someone slides into mediocrity, resentment, and bad-faith trolling—carrying a chip on their shoulder simply to rationalize their own lack of real-world agency. Another example is the MGTOW community that was popular last decade, men not getting the success they want with women so they created a whole movement about MEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY that revolved more about complaining about women having too high standards. The community is now banned but on the red pill subreddit we used to clown these guys because they tried to gain status from weakness instead of building competence. That doesn't really hold against the pressures of society and nature itself. There is a big sentence in dating commentary that isn't fully accurate but illustrates the point on men and sour grapes when it comes to dating: women wait at the finish line and fuck the winners. It's not always true but a lot of men default to shaming women and controlling their sexual behaviours instead of just focusing on the obvious goal of figuring out what arenas of life are worth winning in and becoming a winner yourself.

I don't live in Toronto anymore but I met an actualizer there a few years ago. I'll dm you his Instagram. Feel free to post yours too so people can follow you. Like 6 people on this forum have followed me and I've met up with 2 of them, we're a cool bunch.

Yes I figured but now you need your 2nd rapper name. TheHouseSoul AKA BigSolipcism in the HOUSE TONIGHT Musicians and influencers are like old school nobles, we can pick many names and be known in different ways across different spheres. My dad sometimes tries to not call me LordFall but I tell him don't you know who I am on the internet!

That's sweet. Your girl speaks english or you know mandarin? I'm excited to also have a romance in a foreign land, sounds like a very enriching and entertaining adventure. Any surprises you've had so far in terms of dating in China? Also have you encountered many ABGs? That's my weakness when it comes to asian women especially the ones that go blonde.

Thank you; this is much higher-quality discourse and far easier to engage with if we're having a substantive debate rather than casual chit-chat. I don't operate like that as a baseline. I respond to issues people seem to raise. If someone is perfectly satisfied with their life then I don't have much to talk to them about, they should live their life and enjoy it. This thread is a perfect example. As an INTP I like to go deeper to the root of things. At first glance someone might just think that @Monster Energy made a random and funny joke about women liking gay guys. To me I default to taking into account his other posts and the psychology of men in general towards a sour grapes relationship to women they can't get. It can sometimes be a bad assumption but then the poster can rectify it and the conversation goes on. I assumed that Monster was genuinely wondering why women are more comfortable around gay men so I answered from that angle and I also answered the shadow subconscious angle that gay men are not threatening and some straight men just want pussy without offering much in return as well as struggling with boundaries so it makes sense that in some cases women enjoy having gay BFFs instead of straight male friends. Sure, I think that's a noble goal and a great way to phrase it. Although I think you will agree that Stage Green/spiritual people tend to want to remove the scoreboard entirely and I think that leads to throwing out the baby with the bathwater and makes society worse as a result. Quantification has a lot of merit. You talked about measuring value. This is the cost of optimizing for a path that doesn't account for universal value i.e. money, status, contribution. The first two are obvious to attack although they have a lot of merit and I can stand up for them if that's of interest to someone but notice that contribution also bakes in having power and scale in your efforts, otherwise you're not contributing much. I'm not the judge of humanity my guy, I'm just a man that's lived and tried various different business and dating strategies in his 20s. They haven't all produced what I've wanted but I've gained a massive shit ton of reference experience in different domains and I think probably more than 99% of men my age. I don't claim to know everything but you accused me of trying to project expertise across different domains in which I lack expertise which is funny because I specifically try to not do that. My points are quite nuanced though so you have to be careful reading them or people fall into stereotyping my arguments and turning passive-aggressive, which only makes debunking them more satisfying. For example in this AI and crypto thread I specifically noted that although my prediction on the price of Bitcoin was proven correct, my overall financial strategy has changed and I don't think that my accurate prediction on that single price action can be repeated so I offered a superior framework. To get back to specifics, generally on this section of this forum we discuss dating in different ways. Some people like to make it cultural commentary or venting and I personally enjoy talking more about dating strategy. I think I'm pretty unmatched in that area so I tend to speak with a lot of confidence since I've both taken coaching from what I think are some of the best dating coaches in the world, worked with some of them, was part of a dating company myself, started my own dating photography freelance studio and helped men from THEIR perspective get results in their own dating life. Not my goals but my strategies put to work with their own goals and so far my track record of doing that is pretty good.

Let's get it bro! Film some clips out of it and share them with us so the forum becomes more of a real place instead of anonymous users bickering. I'm looking forward to witnessing your success. If this first one doesn't go that well just do 20 and by the 21st you'll be beasting! I think you need a wild rapper name if not even officially at least for the forum. I don't think we've had a rapper before. Here are a few candidates: Lil Godhead, MC Absolute, Big Solipsism, A$AP Epistemology and of course MastaOf TheUniverse