LordFall

@Jirh Also keep in mind looksmatching which basically makes you attracted to people you think you have a chance with. Your ego doesn’t like to lust after someone they don’t think they can get especially if you haven’t gotten past rejection anxiety.

I want to pivot to online consulting services and have a few high ticket clients instead of working with people locally. I had one client that basically funded my lifestyle for a year while in Calgary so if I can replicate that online with a few more I’ll be set.

Watching his newest video right now For me it's hitting me hard how I need to get my finances in order and finally become financially independent now that I'm 31. I thought I would've made it a long time ago. Not a lot of people that I know ended up becoming successful let alone particularly happy. This stuff is hard, stage orange is no joke.

@Jordan of the Shire Do you mind sharing with us what's happened since you left that relationship? Were you not able to find other people that you were more aligned with?

Here are my ideas 1) In general at around the 9 month mark is when the honeymoon phase of a relationship ends and people tend to see each other accurately. You can feel free to try harder when it gets hard but if you're having core incompatibilities it's gonna be hard to move past that. This is why I offered the MBTI idea so OP can literally test himself and see if his personality and his partner are more or less compatibles and decide if he wants to move forward as he fishes. There are other frameworks like the big 5 where trait openness compatibility is also important in partners. 2) Usually people that don't have a lot of options have a scarcity mindset. I've detailed one archetype that OP could fall into i.e. OP being a western dude who wasn't particularly successful in his dating life in the west moving to Indonesia and then hitched himself with the first could he could. That is an assumption that can be wrong but seems like it fits in the profile in my experience. We can't really go further than this in our assumptions before OP gives me more detail. 3) It would make sense that people with not a lot of abundance that are in scarcity would he more heavily skew towards trying to make something work that's not incompatible because they have low standards. That seems harsh but that's how abundance works in any competitive market. If you have not a low of job offers you're gonna accept something that's not as great as someone who has many other offers that can afford to be pickier in his or her decisions. You never made a point that contradicts this you just said that you think being risk adverse would make this decision difficult. I've explained why this mindset is not optimal in my view and consistent with someone with in a position of scarcity as opposed to being wise.

@Schizophonia I hope you're now gonna make this hinge account ASAP. There is a funny parallel that I read in Cal Newport's book so good they can't ignore you where when you're about to break free of the wage slavery of 9-5 there will be a random force like your boss clamping down on you to make it more difficult. God seems to present us with resistance when we are about to level up to test if we really want to become more powerful or abundant or if we are not ready yet.

I don't understand your comment. Yes to have valid points you need to be able to defend them when people present an alternative paradigm with reasoning as to where the blindspots in your viewpoint might be. Otherwise you can be satisfied with having low quality opinions that lead to a low quality life but why on earth would that be your goal on a self-development forum?

I wouldn't be ashamed in that as long as you speak basic english people will get it. Plenty of popular content creators that are english second language. Xqc for example is a french canadian speaker that jumbles english at times but it makes his brand more unique.

You're right there are many fascets to inceldom; I like how identified risk aversion as part of it. Incel just means involuntarily celibate or having a hard time attracting partners. @Patrick_9931 should elaborate more on his dating history and life so we have more to go on, I made a few leaps of assumptions but I believe I'm mostly correct. If he has already explored all options possible in his dating journey and this is the best he's found and is perhaps temporarily satisfied that's would be one scenario but doesn't sound like it to me. As I've said though it's common for western dudes to go to an easier dating market and finally find a woman that accepts them for who they are and fall in love. This is not a high level relationship, its just what happens when your purchasing power encounters a viable market to put it in business terms. If going to Indonesia is the first time he's found abundant dating success then dating one of the first girls that's compatible with him is a predictable mistake. He is like at level 2 of the self-development dating journey; exploring new environments outside of your comfort zone. It's the same concept as the hero's journey. Giving up before really exploring the potential you have in attraction as a man would be a waste IMO. He should do it ethically and break it off with this girl so he can spend multiple years achieving that potential. Settling down before you have multiple of your dream women that want to date you is a predictable pattern. Part of being a high value man is taking the necessary risks to actualize your full potential. Thus why women really like musicians and free spirits that have broken free of the boring 9-5, it shows you being a successful risk taker. They don't particularly like unsuccessful risk takers like homeless men so part of it is having a realistic and viable strategy to accomplish this quest. Being able to attract high quality women is a pretty mapped out thing though I wouldn't qualify it as particularly high risk unless he's getting old but even you can freeze your sperm so there's no real risk involved.

Fair enough bro. Just remember the conversation we had on the other thread where you decided to sacrifice your abundance for the sake of talking to this one girl who is now not giving you much attention. This is a very common pattern. In my experience the best course of option is to develop more abundance. Both with other women but with your life as a whole. No shame in this, notice how a lot of people on this forum are coping in their lack of abundance by inventing rules why this common principle doesn't apply to them. Obtaining abundance is very hard by definition, inventing reasons why you're above the process is much easier. "I'm not doing well financially but it's not because I suck at business it's because Trump is a corrupt piece of shit!" "I don't get hot women but it's not because I don't have much value to offer them it's because they're shallow!"

I don't think God created us to be mindless beings or slave. I think perhaps true beauty comes from the co-creation process of life. If you aren't the co-owner of reality then you won't have much power or interest in helping it move towards the better as you will embrace your state of weakness and pray for God to solve all your problems.

Do you have experience in pickup and levelling up your social life or are you more of an incel? No shame just genuinely asking on your dating experience. This seems like extreme scarcity based mindset. There are so many intellectual women that also are very loving and caring. If you haven't met any it seems easy for me to see a blind spot in your recommendation. If OP is in his mid to late 30s and tired of dating then I would tend to lean more your way but if he's in his 20s or early 30s and just starting to explore the world then that seems like scarcity based settling to me.

Awesome, I think you have the right idea exploring the world while you're young. I will follow in your footsteps hopefully starting this winter, I've been meaning to become a digital nomad for the past few years and I'm gonna work hard on making it happen. South america particularly appeals to me but I'd like to checkout China as well, please update us on your travels! I think become a man(or woman) of the world is incredibly important and I meet many people even here in Canada that have never left the country. Quite a sad life if you ask me.

Strange indeed. You've had a date in person right? How did that go @Hojo I don't really think tech billionaires are a good example of what women go for these days but guys that offer status, fun and protection against the dullness of life are the new top of the male pyramid I would say.

Well ironically I think real life can be improved a lot upon. The learning curve is too high and the skill trees not obvious enough. Most of the time you do random activities and your main quest is not progressing and you hate playing the game. Many things to iterate here. Also the socializing is narrow and shallow, many more possible adventures can be crafted to explore reality with your fellow incarnate souls. Yeah i totally agree, a lot of potential. Real NPCs are gonna be very interesting. If they become real enough you can't really hurt them or kill them it'll be unethical. I think that ruins a lot of the fun apart from dating sim so having ultra realistic bots that remember stuff is probably the best for entertainment.