LordFall

Brother I think you're projecting. I've admitted to being wrong and still learning in my journey many times in this thread. You're refused to admit that your perspective might be wrong and tripled down on it. I'm definitely an INTP, just more ambitious than most I would say. This is my passion and what I've spend over a decade building. I have not much ego tied in it, I have a lot of thoughts on it because this is what I spend my days working on and thinking about and I've met hundreds of people in the field and thus have a lot of reference experience to pull from.

I can relate to a lot of this, especially before I started my journey. The first thing that jumps to me is well yeah if you watch porn especially hardcore porn daily then that's gonna take a sledgehammer to your dopamine reward system and make sexuality feel flat. If you're into particularly unorthodox paraphilias it's perhaps helpful to deconstruct that as it'll point you towards different parts of your psyche that you're unaware of. This is a good Teal Swan video where she talks on it. You don't have to open your whole closet of skeletons in public but perhaps AI can help you deconstruct it. @Sugarcoat Fair enough. I did miss your comment about letting the sexual energy build up instead of needing to transmute it into action. I'll ponder on that, I had an interesting experience yesterday going out with basically my nervous system lighting on fire and experiencing full body bliss while I was meditating at an outdoor event. It was quite wonderful, never experienced something like that before. Even expanding on my inner thoughts in this thread has been liberating for me as it's things I've thought about but not really expressed in this much depth before. The conclusion I came to is I have perhaps more libido than the average person and need to build a bigger container than most to express it.

@Sugarcoat Feel free to elaborate if you feel like I didn't get to the root of your question or observation. @Schizophonia All good bro the rest happens in your real life. What are you gonna do this week and this month to take action on what we've talked about? If you find it worth it to develop these connections organically then I 100% know you can do it. The rest is on you frero. Also to touch on the asexual comment once more hopefully you're not watching too much porn. It's very easy to suppress your libido through that especially adding neuroticism unto it.

How come?

Partly correct, I'm not talking solely about an internal state. That's great but that can be transient and doesn't really do much with your relationship to the outside world. What I'm pointing to is becoming a powerful person in your local community and the world as a whole. Dating is the intimacy based part of it and social circle/social media is the communal, business and global impact side of it. To me what's what a stage yellow developed life looks like.

What? It's a good thread and we're each sharing our perspective. What is unproductive about this conversation? Seems like perhaps you're not a fan of chaos in general and run from it. Confronting all our shadows is how we grow as people. Poking at each other's weaknesses is good. We should welcome it. I mean it's common for people that lack experience to have a similar perspective. I've clearly stated throughout the thread that if you're happy with your current circumstances then there is no need to change it. I have said that I'm not yet where I want to be in life and working each day towards it and enjoying the journey. To me an identity is constantly evolving. @Natasha Tori Maru I use weed more than I want to and it's for sure stopping me from reaching the peak effectiveness that I seek. I don't really fall into escapism though just underperformance the way I see it. It's made my business less effective than I want it to be and reduced my cashflow stability to be more precise. What appeals to you about asexuality? Is it truly what you desire or it's just easier and safer than confronting your shortcomings? I think it's possible to go quite deep with one person but a lot of people use it as a mask for avoiding development. For example if you scroll through Reddit a lot of relationship issues that you see come up both in a communication, emotional and sexual term stems clearly from a lack of self exploration and overall underdevelopment. That's the common societal narrative, I'm a lone self in this world oh I found someone who accepts me let's settle down and see what happens. Not saying that's ALL monogamous couples just a lot and the majority. I identify with all people and humanity as a whole so settling down with the first woman I like doesn't really appeal to me. As you can see my perspective is one of exploration and discovery with many people. I wouldn't say I don't aim to go deep as opposed to narrow, I think you should do both to explore all that life has to offer in that regard. Once I get settled into polyamory I will have children with the partners I have found the most joy and stability with and build something like a homestead where I grow my own food, raise animals and do international business with my communities across the world.

@Natasha Tori Maru When someone says humans are profound waste of time that say nothing, that does not sound like someone rational to me. Does it to you? That sounds to me like someone who's jaded and gave up. I think my way is the correct way to engage with the world because it doesn't get me nor the people I see adopting it to that result. @integral I'm not talking about idealism. Feeling the way you feel is common, as I said it's covered in the video I linked above. If you wanna look at paradigms that lead to getting out of it as idealism then that seems like a closed off perspective more than reality. @WonderSeeker Which of my assumptions were wrong? I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and explain some things that you've said from what I know about psychology and sexuality. I could totally be wrong.

I don’t know I haven’t talked to him about it. Perhaps he enjoys the life he has now. You don’t need to have a massive impact if you don’t want to. The way you were talking about it sounded more like you were resigning yourself to that lifestyle versus something that you find deep peace and fulfillment in. Also once more if you have all these qualms about society why not have an impact on it instead of being the grumpy guy on the forum about it? Thats where my victim mindset comment was coming from. It reminds me of my brother who just finished uni in Montreal and he has a communist streak to him and complains about the economy. I asked him why don’t we start a business together then and make a lot of money and then you’ll either not worry about the economy or be in a better position to change it; we’ll see how that goes. I fundamentally believe in being at the cause not to the effect of our reality. There is a lot of change even one person can make on the world.

There is a great Owen cook whole hour and a half video on this, I highly recommend you watch it. You're not the only one that feels this way, most men give up around 40. If you're saying that you're experiencing connection with others as pain and burden then that's a diagnostic sign towards lack of alignment. If done right helping others should feel like basically hedonism like you're using your skills that you've built to solve someone else's problem and then they're grateful that you helped them solve it and say X person is such a cool person they've helped me; a virtuous cycle. Easier than done for sure but it can be done, I'm just starting to tap into it with my creative communities feels good. Also I'm 31, for sure I get to be in the wise elder category now

If you use sexuality as escapism to neglect the other areas of your life then that's a recipe for disaster. If your love of sexuality is not trauma based and is based on a love of sensual experiences and sharing that with others then don't demonize it. Use it as your muse. Build a business/career that gives you time flexibility and indulge in all the sexuality you want. It's funny you write this out now we just had a huge debate in the other thread over it; here is my whole perspective if you care to read it: Use AI to serve as a coach to identify the key parts of life where you're underperforming, solve them, make a lot of cash and enjoy what the world has to offer. I wouldn't call it twisted I would call it a gift. Don't let it turn into a curse and you'll have your cake and eat it too. What else is the point of cake?

That's fair I respect that. I'll just leave you with don't give up on people they are worth it.

Yes introverts need alone time to recharge. Doesn't mean you should forego socialization and then claim superior development from that. It's coping as I've said already. Why it's victim mindset is you're saying that the world lacks integrity and instead of being part of the change you're claiming that retreating in solitude is somehow the superior strategy here. You can't claim weakness and present it as a strength that's insanity. I'm very familiar with Leo's point of view on this and just read the post again. Leo himself claims that this is just his POV and I'll claim myself that it's a reaction to being put in a complicated system that your brain doesn't understand how to navigate and thus is exhausting. I've already explained how you can curate your own environments that are both more fun and meaningful to navigate than a nightclub and also bring up people to your level. That's the definition of leadership. You're literally said that people are a profound waste of time. What you should do is introspect on how you came to that conclusion and if it's grounded in reality or just your limited perspective of it. People have limitless potential. High consciousness isn't a lab experiment that shatters the moment you step outside your comfort zone. It's about having the capacity to enter the chaotic world and transform it with your presence or at least learn to enjoy it. That's what any mystic that's changed the world has done such as our boy Jesus. You don't HAVE to do that but if you're gonna claim that your perspective is the superior one then I will deconstruct it. I'm also an INTP hard introvert. I've spent 12 years working on myself and learning from different environments to get to the point where I'm at now.I still spend most of the day in solitude and introspection. Introverts can excel in social situations, they just have to find their own unique way of doing it. I know some hard introverts that do very well at cold approach but can't really socialize in a party or nightlife environment because the communication there is more emotional and vibe based than intellectual. I don't particularly excel at cold approach but I also mostly like intellectual environments. Which is why I did a podcast and host creative events. The arts are a mix of intuition and creativity as well as entrepreneurship and marketing so I enjoy the mix of left and right brain thinking. If you're satisfied with where you are at in life that's fine but I'm saying your limitations are self imposed my friend.

I think willpower is more important than genetics. Unless you mean like a tall basketball player but if you want to have a superhuman impact on the world that's all you my boy

@integral You’re misrepresenting my points to argue against a position I don’t hold. I never said having a vision for society is forbidden, nor did I say life should only be about chasing millions and models. My point is simple: true leadership and high consciousness don’t sit on the sidelines venting about OnlyFans models under the guise of "societal integrity." That's just jadedness and victim mindset masquerading as spirituality. When a framework teaches you to view the average human being as a "profound waste of time" who "says absolutely nothing," it’s not an evolution of consciousness—it’s an ego defence mechanism designed to protect you from the discomfort of participating in reality. Someone who understands the world doesn't retreat because the world is messy; they build systems to elevate it. I feel like I'm harsher than I really mean to be Integral it's all love bro but I feel like your mindset is quite off on this one. @Schizophonia I love the honesty here, it's good to be able to verbalize your hangups. Women want to have sex with men, that's how 300 000 years evolution got us to where we are. Why its easier or harder depending on different guys is a function of the market ,it's not really a personal thing against you. Meaning that you can use the strategies I've mentionned to be the same guy but paint yourself in a much more attractive light. To the point where a girl will fantasize about blowing you. Multiple of them even. You don't need to be a god for a woman to desire you. You need to work on social skills, lead with good energy, and share a fun, value filled space with them and then giving you pleasure becomes just as fun for them as it is for you. Women are usually even more sexual than men. From me asking AI, Toulouse is a student city with a massive creative scene. Don't worry about your friends not being motivated—join the game global group for Toulouse. It's only got 14 people right now but maybe 2-3 guys will be down to go out. Start small, look into local creative meetups, improv, or sports that you'd like, and start treating your neurotic brain as a video game to level up in. That's the part where treating dating like a video game makes sense. Not the dating itself part but levelling up your life and then it becomes less personal and less anxiety inducing. Baby steps until you're where you wanna be frero. https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/

@Schizophonia You seem open to feedback, that's mostly what it takes to build a great dating and carreer/business life in my experience. It's not a big deal to have only had experiences with sex workers at this point in life. That's how I started myself. I lost my virginity at 18 to a beautiful lady of the night named Sonia, it was an incredible 90 seconds. I got my first girlfriend volunteering at a comic expo in my city. The good thing about cold approach is it loosens you up and makes you more social by default so you don't even have to get a girlfriend from it, it'll make you more attractive to women in general. What city are you in? If you're in a big one there are pickup groups in most of them. Going out with other people is the best way to learn by osmosis from them in my experience. Humans learn collectively through our mirror neurons. If you just watch videos online and read the forum and try to do it by yourself that's nightmare difficulty. I would also build a social circle out of it. That's the number 1 medium to long term hack towards building social capital. It's also something that you can keep doing even when you get into a relationship to build an aligned group towards mutual goal that will ultimately gain you influence in your city and the world at large if you combine it with social media. You also learn much more from orchestrating your own social environment rather than existing in someone else's. It's also more beneficial to you because most systems exist to benefit those at the top rather than the main participant. I knew a club owner in Toronto that used the official instagram page with 30k followers to DM girls to invite them to his free booth and he had free bottles and liquor which cost other dudes paying for it thousands and the average dudes coming into the club to buy drinks and talk to the girls would just fit the bill for the whole venue. You can build yours in a win-win way but you'll still benefit most from being the leader and thus having the highest status and authority in the group. Beautiful thing is it works with any hobby. You could easily get laid from starting a Pokemon Card group if that's your passion or really about anything. The world has integrated in this past decade and that didn't used to be the case. I dropped out of high school playing league of legends competitively and now kids these days have collegiate esports teams, wadafak.