LordFall

You're right I like how you broke down the risk averse part of inceldom. Incel just means involuntarily celibate or having a hard time attracting partners in my view. @Patrick_9931 should elaborate more on his dating history and life so we have more to go on, I made a few leaps of assumptions but I believe I'm mostly correct. If he has already explored all options possible in his dating journey and this is the best he's found and is perhaps temporarily satisfied that's would be one scenario but doesn't sound like it to me. As I've said though it's common for western dudes to go to an easier dating market and finally find a woman that accepts them for who they are and fall in love. This is not a high level relationship, its just what happens when your purchasing power encounters a viable market to put it in business terms. If going to Indonesia is the first time he's found abundant dating success then dating one of the first girls that's compatible with him is a predictable mistake. He is like at level 2 of the self-development dating journey; exploring new environments outside of your comfort zone. It's the same concept as the hero's journey. Giving up before really exploring the potential you have in attraction as a man would be a waste IMO. He should do it ethically and break it off with this girl so he can spend multiple years achieving that potential. Settling down before you have multiple of your dream women that want to date you is a predictable pattern. Part of being a high value man is taking the necessary risks to actualize your full potential. Thus why women really like musicians and free spirits that have broken free of the boring 9-5, it shows you being a successful risk taker. They don't particularly like unsuccessful risk takers like homeless men so part of it is having a realistic and viable strategy to accomplish this quest. Being able to attract high quality women is a pretty mapped out thing though I wouldn't qualify it as particularly high risk unless he's getting old but even you can freeze your sperm so there's no real risk involved.

Fair enough bro. Just remember the conversation we had on the other thread where you decided to sacrifice your abundance for the sake of talking to this one girl who is now not giving you much attention. This is a very common pattern. In my experience the best course of option is to develop more abundance. Both with other women but with your life as a whole. No shame in this, notice how a lot of people on this forum are coping in their lack of abundance by inventing rules why this common principle doesn't apply to them. Obtaining abundance is very hard by definition, inventing reasons why you're above the process is much easier. "I'm not doing well financially but it's not because I suck at business it's because Trump is a corrupt piece of shit!" "I don't get hot women but it's not because I don't have much value to offer them it's because they're shallow!"

I don't think God created us to be mindless beings or slave. I think perhaps true beauty comes from the co-creation process of life. If you aren't the co-owner of reality then you won't have much power or interest in helping it move towards the better as you will embrace your state of weakness and pray for God to solve all your problems.

Do you have experience in pickup and levelling up your social life or are you more of an incel? No shame just genuinely asking on your dating experience. This seems like extreme scarcity based mindset. There are so many intellectual women that also are very loving and caring. If you haven't met any it seems easy for me to see a blind spot in your recommendation. If OP is in his mid to late 30s and tired of dating then I would tend to lean more your way but if he's in his 20s or early 30s and just starting to explore the world then that seems like scarcity based settling to me.

Awesome, I think you have the right idea exploring the world while you're young. I will follow in your footsteps hopefully starting this winter, I've been meaning to become a digital nomad for the past few years and I'm gonna work hard on making it happen. South america particularly appeals to me but I'd like to checkout China as well, please update us on your travels! I think become a man(or woman) of the world is incredibly important and I meet many people even here in Canada that have never left the country. Quite a sad life if you ask me.

Strange indeed. You've had a date in person right? How did that go @Hojo I don't really think tech billionaires are a good example of what women go for these days but guys that offer status, fun and protection against the dullness of life are the new top of the male pyramid I would say.

Well ironically I think real life can be improved a lot upon. The learning curve is too high and the skill trees not obvious enough. Most of the time you do random activities and your main quest is not progressing and you hate playing the game. Many things to iterate here. Also the socializing is narrow and shallow, many more possible adventures can be crafted to explore reality with your fellow incarnate souls. Yeah i totally agree, a lot of potential. Real NPCs are gonna be very interesting. If they become real enough you can't really hurt them or kill them it'll be unethical. I think that ruins a lot of the fun apart from dating sim so having ultra realistic bots that remember stuff is probably the best for entertainment.

I didn't watch this one because there is no commentary so I have no idea what's going on and you're not in the video so I have nobody to connect with but best of luck with the project.

100% I'm a big believer in not settling and going for everything you want but you also have to put a lot of effort into your dating life then and not take it for granted. How is it going with the girl you went on a date with last week?

I don't know why you guys are in such scarcity regarding feminine women that are down to be homemakers and be pleasant comfortable partners. If you're a western man with a decently high income that can travel and live abroad that's gonna be in abundance. Men in the west are facing a highly competitive economy where most of them are starting to earn less than women and thus don't have much value as a provider but mostly for the last 10 000 years that was most of the value a man had to offer and the rest of the world still works this way. There is also the key concept of MBTI that's hardly talked about in dating discussions, but most types are not really compatible with each other. About 75% of the population are Sensors, while only about 25% are Intuitives. If you're an ideas-based, intuitive type like an INTP, INTJ, or INFJ, you are a literal statistical minority. Most other types are by default gonna find abstract concepts boring and be more interested in expressing emotion and mundane, day-to-day things—which you find boring. Sensors are naturally tuned into their immediate, physical environment; if you try to have deep, theoretical conversations with them without constantly dumbing it down or anchoring it to concrete reality, they simply won't get it. I would argue a lot of marriage dissatisfaction is based solely on this hidden friction. Forcing personal development on someone who isn't interested in it is a short towards resentment when there are plenty of women who would love to be in that type of dynamic.There is a massive difference between a minor hobby gap and a core cognitive paradigm gap. If your entire life is built around self-actualization, tracking complex systems, and uncovering truth, and your life partner is completely blind to that entire dimension of reality, you will experience a crushing existential loneliness in that house. 8 month is also the standard duration of a honeymoon phase where most couples tend to fall out of infatuation and start to look at objectively how their life would look long term with this person. I don't think OP should even take that 3 months to leave her in limbo, if he reads what I said and it sounds correct and he fell into the trap of settling too early then he should pull off the bandaid now and let the girl find another man that's closer to her wavelength instead of wasting her time while he explores his option and keeps her as a backup.

@Schizophonia I think you're correct that the duality around this is slowly collapsing like if you look good as a guy you're more likely to get into a strict nightclub than not but it's mostly in terms of status markers. A woman is valued more for pure beauty by a wider margin of society. @Xonas Pitfall Appreciate you introducing that nuance—it really highlights how flexible attraction can be. To tie this back to @StaraX's original point about relativity: a lot of those historical examples (like lead makeup or foot binding) were exclusive to the nobility. Those elite women weren't necessarily optimizing for raw biological sex appeal; they were optimizing for status demarcation to separate themselves from lowborn women. This heavily conditioned what noble men prioritized. Because basic signs of fertility were abundant among the peasant class, elite men looked for traits that elevated their family's social standing. It shows that while female attractiveness is generally based on immediate looks, a man's conditioning, his environment, and the specific status-games he is trying to win can heavily warp his baseline preferences. So StaraX's point holds up structurally: even when male attraction shifts relatively, it is usually because it's being high-jacked by a social status game.

I somewhat agree with you. I don't think surrender is the right notion though because then the woman will have to carry you as baggage. For me I want to meet an equal in reality that God made for me to experience reality with and grow with. God is making me work for it.

Sure I think that can be true but I'm weary of infatuation it can cause problems. For me to fall in love with someone they would have to fit specific traits or I would reject them. Beauty in the way you describe it is not really the issue, if you believe in non-duality we all come from love and are beautiful in many ways that's not necessarily the issue. The issue for me is does this person fit into the life I wanna live and can help me achieve my goals?

How do you find this true love? Seems like some people have an easier time at it that others. I think someone's best bet is optimizing for the patterns you can spot and if somehow the universe decides to drop a perfect partner on your lap take it otherwise follow proven systems that yield predictable results. Like cold approach and social circle game.

I think especially for people like myself and I'm sure @AtmanIsBrahman and a lot of people on this forum who's brain are already overthinking and good at optimizing then it's great advice. The action is the most important part and optimization of action should only be 20% of it.