Pouya

thank you

@Jack River why do i resist what is? Why i always distract myself automaticly from it?

of the experience that is happening right now.But it makes me dull and has a very deep wierd feeling. Like peace+confusion

I am also studying to get into a great university for medical major, but i think that you can be enlightened no matter what job you have or where you live. I sometimes think that i should forget about everything related to enlightenment and go on with my life but i got to the no turning back point. What about seeing enlightenment as just Truth seeking instead of achiving a goal? Maybe it doesnt even need priority if you are just curious to now what's True? Maybe go on with life while you're mindful.

Leo Why havent you talked about the ox pictures back then with the enlightenment videos? Were you fimiliar with them?

Thanks for the info i guess the more developed you are, the more balance you have between mind and heart.

Just being curious. Can meditation/mindfulness is disabling left brain? "No. There is no brain"

@Leo Gura what if a mathematician wants to experience no self? Is it going to be harder for him or the same as a spiritual guy?

I've lost all the courage, curiosity and patience to anything related to meditation, enlightenment, spirituality and contemplation. It feels like a big big waste of time. Chasing enlightenment, spiritual ideals and meditating to become someone powerful or just raising awareness is no different that chasing money, sex, fame and science. Chasing is chasing and wanting is wanting for me. Those are content. I feel like I've hit square one and anything I've done is just spinning around. Also metarialism is back with much more force.

@Leo Gura :)

@Tetcher yeah i also can be just bullshitting myself.

@WelcometoReality Secondly, who will get rid suffering? Who will get the "benefits" of enlightenment?

@WelcometoReality according to non duality (the reality as it is), there is no distinction between anything. So how enlightenment is different from all of them?

@Rilles as i said above, i had an result and it melted everything including spirituality. @Consilience Enlightenment is meaningless. Spirituality is meaningless. And Life is just a game. I think I'm dropping my green values and moving to yellow. It has been happening for 2 months. I want to play and engage with this game not to waste it chasing spiritual ideas and enlightenment.

@Leo Gura actually i had a very deep expereince recently and it made me like this. And i cant really take psychedelics. I wish i could

It's been 2 weeks since the experience happpened (i dessolved and there was only experience and not a person looking at it. It was all just experience) Tommorow that night I came back and everything was the same and I tried to convince myself that it was just a state and reality is material and all those non duality and duality thing is full of shit. I think this is normal. After comming back to every belief that I used to believe, the skepticism hit me hard. I have no freaking clue about anything. I cannot trust anything, especially myself (i mean about the Truth) I even suspect that there is a Truth. Moodyness and sudden happiness and suffering comes. Sometimes i become so numb and emotionless the next few minutes i become full of happiness, full of sadness, full of hatred, full of emptiness, full of anger, full of myself. Do you have any suggestion for going through it? I haven't sat down and inquire/meditate/contemplate since then even for a second. It's like all the patience and experience is gone. Also I can dissovle myself into what is happening right here right now at anytime anywhere I want.

@Emanyalpsid Language really lacks the utility in this topic tho thank you for your help

A no self experienced happened lately and I experienced myself as everything that is happening right now. I wasn't percieving outside from inside but i was the outside. I don't think I realized the Truth or something because I feel deluded and lost tho. No idea of me anymore but what is the experience that is happening doesnt make any sense. It seems like no matter Physical or mental (dream like), it is like more lies.

@winterknight There was and there is not me inside that experiences the outside. Now for me the inside is gone and only outside remains. I am not a perciever inside a body anymore. It's like everything just is without a me looking at it. Now, is "my mind" an idea just like "me"?

@Shin nice one But Not everybody is getting some and not you.

Realization of what I actually am has occurred. Just thank you Leo for everything and thank you everyone on this forum. Now this is when the real questioning happens, there are a ton of topics to inquire about. Thank you

I have been self inquiring for a while and until now I've realized that the Body refers to a bunch of sensations and the sound and the sight of the body which give it the known form. I am not a Body, I sense and percieve the Body. Also i don't see a difference between the body and not body. Same, just this form has sensations, nothing more. Then I contemplated about Am I a Thought??? And I can't know that, except i can experience what is a Thought. I couldn't even describe it but i could find a few qualities of it and observed it as it is. Then I asked where are thoughts? A thought said in the mind! So what the hell is this mind? Unlike thoughts which i could fairly observe them and recognize them, I didnt find anything called the mind. I found out that is it just and idea, a concept. And what is one of the qualities of the thought? It has Content. The content has ideas/concepts. So the mind itself is a thought. Or is it? I finally realized that i dont need to define the things I'm inquiring about because I'm not gonna write a book or teach about it or something.. i just need to observe it and experience it as it is. So i thought defining doesnt do any good in this work. A dictionary can do a much better job. About the ego, i don't think ego exists either. Where is it? What is it? It's just an idea. The symbole "I" as an subjective quality is just a reference to the one who experiences it. But is that the ego? Whats the difference between me and the ego? Then nonduality comes in..false and the True one is the same??? You might say it IS me. But isnt there a Self and a self? A True One and the false one? If the ego is the mind so it is an idea i guess. But why the hell i act like i am someone inside my brain? Because everyone acts like that in the conceptual society. Everyone talks thinks (they "think"?) as if they are bodies/minds. This brain that controls the body, which is also not me, is programmed this way to act. Actually i find self inquiring very enjoyable and very confusing and frustrating. What do you think about it? Also i found out that any answer to a question like "what am I" cannot answer the question, it just delays the question.

@Leo Gura truth in everyday life has a opposite as false But Truth is something i have absolutely no idea what it is. I don't even know what are thoughts

The body has capabilities to have perceptions and sensations. The human body has a range of sight, hearing, touching, tasting and smelling. It is obviously limited. As a dog can smell or an eagle can see much more accurately than human, the dog can't see or the cat can't taste as accurately as human. So which one of these creatures can percieve things as they are? I say none of them. Evolution is not for percieving the truth, it's for survival. Human needs to have a good and relatively accurate sight and 2 eyes in the front of its face so it can percieve distance and height better so it can survive living on the trees when it had to live like that. It needs to percieve the threat or the hunt in the distance and close range so it can survive. We percieve what we need to percieve to survive, so for seeing as it is, not only we need to remove the labels and concepts and ideas and imagination from the raw perception, we need to percieve it compeletely as it is, which we actually can't because of our limited body. So evolution doesn't care about the truth, it cares about what can help us survive better. So some humans liked to think and imagine about stuff and they created a notion of "Reality". It is based 100% on our human perception, so how can the idea of reality be the actual reality? Just like the famous illusional cube image, perception is a mental construct and can be manipulated by the mind for its survival's sake. Reality as we know is a mental construct that helps use survive and it's based on limited perceptions and sensations. I like to use the analogy of an online first person video game. I imagine 2 identical PCs next to each other running an online fps game in the same server. The 2 characters can go and see things in the game's reality. Imagine the characters are looking in the same direction to a landscape. I can change the graphic settings of one of them to the highest quality and one to the lowest. So one has a very high quality and accurate picture and one is blury and pixel-like. Which computer's screen shows us the reality of the video game as it is? None of them. The reality of video game is coding and digital information. This was an analogy, i dont mean that actual reality is coded or matrix or some shit, (matrix was a very nice metaphore but not the thing as it is) So you might answer with there is no one looking/percieving or something like that. But what i meant was how I realized that no matter how actual I percieve, I percieve it. Like it is a lego structure of many colorful blocks but i only pick the blue and yellow ones and RECONSTRUCT a Reality out of them. A filtered one. Recently I've been working on the Actuality since Leo released a video on it and it's so wierd that few months ago, I couldn't imagine that the things are not actual are imaginary, but now it's like that the moon in the sky that I don't actually percieve is as real as a purple unicorn with 10 legs.

@SoonHei Rupert Spira once said that in order to Be the formless one, it has to loosen its attention from the everything and let it collapse to itself so it can know itself by being itself, then after that percieve the world again. Do you agree with it?