fabriciom

Right so when I started to wake I started to notice the silence all the time. Its a constante high pitch noice. It first freaked me out but I have gotten used to it and it has gotten higher and more constant. Now Im starting to hear clicking or clacking sounds in my left ear. I have noticed that this happens whenever I let the brain think. Anyone know if this is normal? Thanks

Lol the lazymans way into enlighment. The problem is that all this process is that. Finding the truth. So if you don't even want to try you have already ended without even starting.

I think you are looking for something. You have an idea of what you think it is that you are searching for. I have never felt or tried to detach from my body. Other than during meditation. My watching and observation has improved. This has helped me greatly. Things i was doing blindly have faded away. Questioning why I feel a certain way or why I'm doing something blindly has also helped me see things for what they are. Put focus on the ego and it's interworking. This two things to me seem to be the key for going forward.

What ever you do your mind will always tell you that in the future X will be better. So changing what you are doing doesn't necessarily mean you will be better. Maybe for a while but not long. So what I would concentrate is changing the how.

Your situation sounds familiar. I too tried the music thing for years. I learned everything there was to learn on production and wasted crazy amounts of money in equipment. Only to find out that music theory is the basis for everything. If you can compose you aren't going anywhere. I also did the career thing. Did whatever to climb the corporate latter. Only to find out that the perfect job doesn't exist and money doesn't make you happy or make you feel safe. I then started the enlightening search. It's been tough I'm still in it. But it's a whole lot more satisfying than anything I have done. I do what ever job I can get and live on minimum expenses. I do have time to get home do some cicling and about an hour of meditation. But I can live with out it. I prefer this life than the others. But because this works for me right now it doesn't mean it will work for you. It's hard to let go and change but if it's what you really want it will eventually happen.

Do not view your job as a means to an end. Keep all your focus on the task at hand. It will become joyful again. I passed through something similar. What helped me was to take some time off, change jobs and focus more on finding the truth inside.

Form is emptiness and emptiness is form. Being nothing is also being everything. There for being happy is also part of it. But that also means that you are sad, joyful, angry, etc. If you associate whatever you are feeling with your identity you've gone unconscious.

The problem is the same for all humans. Association with thought. Doesn't matter what skin color, religion, sex, height, hair color, eye color, etc. I would not get hung up in what one person says about anything. Words are pointers to things. If you don't like a word, try others.

I do not feel like I have any hearing loss and I do not work or live where this could be an caused by external issues. I guess I'll have to learn to live with it...

If you are thinking of suicide I would suggest you tell someone close to you and try to get help from a professional. Spiritual enlightenment isn’t a cure for severe mental problems.

The books are a lot better than the talks. I read the books and listen to talks and while the talks may bring new content the books are a lot better and have more information.

@LastThursday Im sorry but I dot know agree with you. To me there is only one mind that does all the thinking. In time we learn to disassociate from our thoughts and can see where they come from and chose which ones we let on or ignore.

Right, so I’ve been “searching” for enlighment for about 3 years. I feel I have awaken some how. I can see the ego in me doing it’s thing. But I almost always find my self in the end result when it has already done something. Specially when interacting with other egos. I have improved greatly over time and I have come to understand and feel that I am nothing. But I still do not feel free, Im still the slave to my ego. There are also a lot of thought going around my head that when I sit down and observe them I see their false truth. But again, I can not stop thinking about silly things that “will make me happy”. Meditation helps greatly but after a while that “high” is gone and Im back behind the wheels of a driverless truck coming doing a mountain out of control. So yes, any help welcomed.

I've found a boost recently by observation with more detail and braking down what the mind is doing. Im also doing more things where before I was stuck in this do nothing state.

The power of now and to follow up on a more detail explanation of the ego, a new earth from Tolle. I personally enjoy Adyashanti talks too.

Forgiveness is of the ego. If you know who you are and how everyone operates nothing needs to be forgiven. As for your parents I would suggest to live somewhere where they cannot affect you. This doesn't mean you need to cut all ties. Just be in a place where they can not bother you. If you cannot move then surrender to the situation and don't make it a problem. Doesn't mean you need to do what ever they tell you just don't make it an issue. This is tougher because to surrender means to surrender every cell of you body. Good luck!

I have gone through jed mckenna notebook audio book and I can't recommend it. I noticed a lot of ego motivated content which to me is not part of an enlighten being. It has some good points and its a "nice" read but to me it wants helpful.

I aspire to be typical people....

You know what consoles me when things are going rough? I know deep in side that nothing lasts for ever. I know that after a while, tomorrow, a week from now, next month, etc. Whatever was bothering me will not be there. That though would have subdivided. A though that was creating a situation that wasn’t even real. Something in my mind. Lala land. Which we feel is real in that moment but the truth is that is just make believe land.

Sorry? Are you referring to me speaking ill for asking 2 questions?

Tried it and did experience some ego death and viewed the difference roles I play in life, it wasn't enough. At least not enough compared to other experience I lived by meditating and reading/listening and learning. The thing is that what ever I felt was induced by the drug and wast not stable or permanent. Also, the side effects where horrible. I felt physically sick and had some out of control paranoias. Time perception was lost and there where moments I did not know where I was. Definitely not recommendable. I have felt the oneness and love for everything during meditation. This was constant and did not fluctuate. It was as deep and strong as the trip but just over all better.

No, at least not concisely. I try to let life do its thing and just observe and not judge. I have learned through meditation that even though I think something my mind is thinking something else Im not even aware of. So I can not be 100% sure of anything.

Thing is that I can't be concentrating in emptiness or stillness while "living". Thats why there are moments I eventually lose control. I have to use my mind to work, so I can't just try to stop thinking there. A while back when I had more time to practice and I was meditating everyday I did reach a point when I was able to see the thoughts come and let them pass but it was just a couple of instances while meditating and I eventually lost it. Best I have a right now is find the stillness in my mind and get back to it with about an hour of meditation daily.

Jesus is or Jesus was? Do you know what the original meaning of sin is?

Yes, I've also done guided meditations and try to abide in the self as much as I can. I mostly like enjoying being while meditating. I know as soon as I start asking questions the mind is back at it so I just concentrate in the space, silence and stillness.