yellowschnee

Pro tip: After vaporizing weed you are left with AVB (already vaped bud). Basically decarboxylated weed which means you can just eat it, it's orally active. Extremely potent stuff. 1-2 teaspoons of AVB are enough to send you on to a 6 hour long ride most of the times. This is extremely efficient and results in you saving at least 30-50% of material as opposed to smoking it.

I highly recommend Storz & Bickel vaporizers. They are a little pricier but I promise it's worth it. The Plenty is 250€ and is very nicely equipped. Those things will last for years and years if handled properly. Just don't put DMT in it as it's really hard to get the smell of it out of any vaporizer.

Reminds me of what they say about heroin. You don't have any hangovers after taking it.

I'm extremely skeptical about the research that is put into psychedelic psychotherapy and similar stuff. Imagine the psychiatric/psychotherapeutic system forcing people on psychedelics like it is the case today with other psychiatric substances. Yes, right now there are people who are doing semi healing oriented or completely healing oriented work on this but there is capitalism and other factors which are bitches. Besides the benefits you might find in psychedelic use - don't ever over glorify it because it might well go into the opposite direction of what you aspired it to be. Again, as a the best example I want to name the modern psychiatric system. It's leading to so much unimaginable destruction, it's hard to fathom this. We need to be very careful with re-distributing our supposed gained knowledge. I have a theory too, that there is a phenomenon in which people take toxic substances and in order to process what they have done to themselves by the intake of it they put in on to others and advertise it as something which it is not. This might cause the targeted persons to repeat that cycle and go to the next 'victims' making the whole scheme grow exponentially . Dangerous stuff. If this is true then it is maybe due to a lack of consciousness. Or blind spots in the way society on both individual and collective functions. Because it's a natural rule that focus can only be at one thing at a time.

Some poems I have written: When do we realize what's good for us? When does the resolution come? What state are you in? Crying. Primal, primitive energies bloating themselves, ammasing. What's the matter? Addictions, over and over again. Focus. Unfocus. Bam. This time when the old person their heart out, desperate about life. After all, what in this world is of use? Poisons equalized into medicines, medicines blunted into poisons... Is there an ultimate authority, and if so, does that figure likewise have one of it's own? Questions over questions. Not even thinking. Is the content I'm providing even of my own? Dear secret watcher, take me up with your good intentions. Let the paranoia be waved in the right direction and make it of use to the world. Let the crooked divines find their way and the critics be satisfied or offput. Clinging to the bliss; not letting go, no. Nostalgia, too strong to come up against. Why would you even bother? The modern teachings of life and the rumors driven around one particular state maybe. One thing or many, I don't know. Deep blame. Saying to myself; I don't care what other people think of me. Bruh, that doesn't count. The final problem. Metta. Make it the way you want. Struggling? Yes, possible. Common indeed. One thing said from the realm of sleep and dreams; direction happens by itself and you will do something very weird. If you want to reach that goal then I don't know what to tell you because I have yet to go this path. For me to read. I will swear to myself that I make it so. Get along with my habits. Go out into beautiful surroundings. Find out why I am the way I am. Getting to know other people. Writing this to myself. No thing that is not too far away, yet so indefinable. Eyes closed. Slowly drifting into the main area of drowsiness. Nothing special that is here. Oh boy , oh girl. Psychedelic state . What is psychedelic even? Everything is. Big confusion with substances... Fascinated by the happenings. Accepting the shady parts. Not even calling it that because things have to be loved. We will get along. At least you will not die miserable. And if you do, you will still have many pers and tweaks to it. Brilliance of beginning and end. Am I allowed to? Power. Take it slowly. Amateur, seems professional. Miss the opportunity. Fear. Groundless fear driven into the deepsest fearce. I cannot even explain. Dumb trap we have fallen in. At least me. Maybe not you, who knows. Please take care. Saying that because of my feelings and things crashing down. The biggest accomplishment to society has to be rewarded with the least amount. To change things might make matters worse. But unless you do it you will never know. Here for you and am very unlikely to go elsewhere. It's not worth it and that's the price of life. Finding and being. Beautiful picture. Laser pointing towards the sky, ha, nothing will be left. There's a lion at the window and a wolfe out the dark. What do I want from life? What does money do? Come so far and then take the wrong way. Or only took one step but it exponentially goes the right way big time. Equanimous ecstasy. Really dark state kushed into the most blissful state imaginable. Sitting here getting nowhere. Too far out there, no hope. Everything is so relative. We are much older than we think we are. Actually time is like an onion peeling itself. Only 1% of the inner layer is still there. Ain't no place that I gotta be - still two steps back from where I wanna be. Drifting, nothing is normal anymore. Norms swept away. Skyrocketing out there. Getting to many places I used to want to get to. Yet there is still that lack. Or is there? Transmorphing. Loop. Do I really ...? I can see it clearly for fractures of seconds at a time. All that hard to get out of. At one point going to do the hard work in the wrong context. Gone. Think of the unthinkable, be safe while taking the risk. In other words; it will happen. Soul crying. Why do I fall for such states? It has to happen. After all it's not going to matter. No difference between me getting anywhere or not. Or is there? Regret in late life. Magic Chase it? Danger Opportunity Greed And all falls down Supposed to give me chills. Medicine, Drugs, Poison. Substance of eternal material. Physical and not potable. Respect and eternal confusion of spirit. Infinity, what a hazardous word. Verklärt. Food, parasite taking over. Energy becoming so shallow, almost non existent. Until it fades away. No one might even closely attempt to fathom this. Clarity. Stuck in the realm of endless circles and loops. Taking this to dimensions. Never know what it will end up as. Joke: Oh dear, please allow me to be in this state. I could take you to places you never witnessed Discover the unlimited space of stuckness. Vagabond. Paint your journey. Far too many implications to explain. Way too little of a format to put into picture. Balance through chaos And maybe it is all how it is supposed to be. What if we change a fundamental somewhere though? Radical. Take part xyz Leave part ... Stance in a dangerous place. Almost died in the unlikely case of this arrangement called life. Zillions of sperm cells and still it's me out of the whole field. Where is the gratitude? Blank // I wanted to write something useful. So now I do. Narcissistic. Ooohhh Disney music is so eloquently marketed. What a cult like point of thought. Going down this road, this is not something little. This is hard stuff. Like da hard drug but just that. Becoming part of a 'subquential' reality. Paranoia. This is the way it flows. On the goiiing, the showwwinnggg. Singing: And I juuust must do alone but a there a is a little issue. Deeply driven. Deeply fearced. Downward scarysism. Somewhat gratiousness. And so deeply, deeply in touch with the dark light. Harsh and getting in my own right. Low frequency and high volume of heat loss. Burning and aging, huge drawlessness. Forging into mind and mystery. Impure. Foolish youthness. The great problem. Makes an inward explosion of chaos , being a faceless creature of communing extraparts and voluntary particles. High pitch simulated dimension and going almost to the realm of catchy hyperspace in my means. Psychiatric mumification of the cubicle of a certain brain compartment. Do we see the light shining towards my ankle space , dough. Out for the two and infinite worlds. Post as it goes

@ahmad ibdah MAOIs are really nasty in terms of nutrition. You really have to eat the right things

@Leo Gura I didn't weigh it. A rough estimate would be 50-70mg. Some parts of it felt like a breakthrough and I'm not sure if it was one. Some people say that you know for certain if you had a breakthrough but I think there might be something like a partly breakthrough.

1st trip: To test the DMT I had I vaporized a minimal amount of it. I had some mild effects. After it I was thinking: What the fuck happened for the last 5-10 minutes? 2nd trip: About 45 minutes after the first trip I decided to take it further and vaporize a larger dose. This time it really hit me hard. This was beyond a threshold dose but not a breakthrough dose yet. There was some paranoia that I might had been seen. There should be no guilt about this. I was also doing it outsides. It shook me to the core for a little bit but then slowly faded away. No intention was set before and I focussed on healing after the trip. 3rd trip: About 3-4 hours after that I spontaneously decided to try a breakthrough dose by plugging it. I again wasn't clear enough about my intentions and was in a hurry to do it (maybe too much, I don't know). I emptied a 5-HTP capsule, ate the content and put some DMT in it. Then I plugged it. I didn't really know if I could plug freebase DMT. After some reasearch in which I found out that you can at least plug 5-MeO-DMT freebase I decided that it also has to work with N,N-DMT. I dissolved some more of the substance in 6% acidic vinegar and added some tap water. It ended up being too much water and maybe I should have also used distilled water. Would that make a difference? I took a pipette for the rectal administration and had to load it up for quite a few times. I first wanted to have another person with me who was sleeping at the time but when it hit me I decided to do it alone. The first thing I was noticing were some mild visuals and a very mild DMT feeling. Nothing really mentionable but it gave me the impression that the plugging would work. 10 Minutes in. It got stronger and stronger. I first had the idea to sleep to the DMT but as I realized how strong this would gonna be I tried to sit up and meditate. I didn't know what to focus on so I just focussed on my breath which was the easiest option. Suddenly I had to go to the bathroom to take a shit. Maybe it was too much liquid. Or it was due to the fact that the freebase is not really good for the rectum. Maybe also the vinegar. Another thing was that it hit me so strong that I felt like it would be better if I would get it out. So there I was on the toilet. Standing up from the toilet and the way to my bedroom felt like reality was folding itself and the now was morphing in high speeds for the inevitable to happen. I had a similar experience on high doses of neuroleptics a year ago. So then I was first sitting, then lying on my bed, half meditating. I popped out several times and at multiple times I didn't know if it was over yet or not. I was at a point at which I thought I would be dying for real. I said to myself that I probably would not die but not dying was just not rational. Unlike at my first DMT trip 3 years ago this time I maybe wasn't so certain that I would die but it was still putting me into the death zone on another level. Maybe the last DMT I had was purer. The total experience lasted for about 45 minutes. Next time I want to set my intentions clearer. I was in the right state of developement and mind but still I can't stress enough the importance of setting intentions. The setting also was not the best one although it had some major upsides. 100% alone would be better for me.

looks like there was a blood bath beforehand: Curtains

@Serotoninluv Very rarely. Depends on the type of woman and the personality she has and the state that I'm in. It's rather my sexual attraction to her that creates anxiousness because I feel like it might be unwholesome or that the whole thing of sexual attraction might be flawed somehow. Plus (and this is almost even more excruciating) the fact that she might not be sexually attracted to me feels like it's hurting both of us. I used to be on a big 'no fap, no sex' trip for spiritual reasons mainly. It then occurred sometimes that I was up to being friends with them only. It's true that it weirdly happens that a number of women start chasing you as soon as you give up chasing them. @Leo Gura I don't understand where you are coming from. I think it's normal to ask oneself of each others intentions in friendships. @Shiva It mainly bothers me because of the status of our pending friendship. Friendships are always somehow connected with dependencies or at least they can be. The aspect that the person you are friends with is sexually attracted to you and you are not doesn't fit in there.

Is there a species that used machines before us humans did?

I have a quick question about gay men. I'm not gay and it creates some serious ankwardness when I make closer friendship with a man. Maybe he only wants to be friends with me because of his sexual desires? And I find that maybe it's not appropriate to ask for their intentions. Even if it's a very nice person I find it hard to handle it. Especially then. What are your thoughts on this?

I probably need to be in a different state to understand this

I don't get what you guys are writing. It's either too deep for my understanding or doesn't have anything to do with the topic.

How does brainwashing work? I thought about brainwashing a bit. And stumbled upon this article: https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/brainwashing1.htm Brainwashing going on at psychiatric hospitals comes to mind. Brainwashing trough songtexts and advertising. Brainwashing in relationships. Both sides seem to lose a lot of energy.