Sparkist

Sandal scandal

May I ask what your end game is? Is this a pro-active plan or is it an 'all or nothing' reaction to something that didn't go your way?

Just finished the stage blue video. This is the first I've heard of Spiral Dynamics. What an interesting model. I'm wondering which colour I will fall into since blue doesn't resonate with me. I've googled spiral dynamics and had a brief look at the very basic diagrams but I appreciate your thorough dissections, Leo! I shall look forward to hearing all about the other colours in depth, too!

@Elisabeth It's a learning curve for sure! There's a long road ahead, but I'm excited about and open to what the future may bring. All the best to you and your journey <3

Hmm...I believe it started with absolute heart ache and a sense of total rock bottom. I understood how vulnerable I had let myself get by relying so heavily on others for my happiness. I guess I had to be broken down in order to build myself up. It sounds so cliche but I honestly think that's what it was. I'd been let down time and time again. And it seemed to get worse each time. Like the universe was seriously kicking my ass because it wanted ME to take control. And so I did. I took responsibility for myself and my life choices; really looked deep inside to see what sort of person I'd become. I'm on a journey of personal development and so I'm trying to improve all aspects of my life, FOR ME. With that comes empowerment, which also adds to the feeling of 'I'm not lonely', because I have my own back, even if no one else does. I have myself. Whatever happens. So I'm making sure that I'm as happy as I can be, with what I see when I look inside myself. It will be a life-long journey but I'm so grateful to be on it! And not to mention, the people around me that I love have benefited greatly from this shift. It's a win-win!

This topic came up recently in a group session I attended. The word 'expect' and 'expectation' seemed to trigger me. I questioned internally why that may be, and I believe it's down to having had ridiculously high expectations of those around me in the past, and being hurt when those expectations were not met. I now only expect that people will do as they wish, regardless of any expectations I may or may not place on them. So, I decided that it was best to have none. This doesn't mean that I will not choose which friendships are worth my while. The onus is on me to decide whether it's a fulfilling, mutually beneficial friendship, but I still do not expect anything of them. I simply choose to place my energies elsewhere if I don't feel it's a balanced and wholesome 2 way relationship.

I'd love to see a video on this subject. What is Tantric Sex? The history of Tantric Sex. How can it be used for Personal Development? How can it be used for Relationship Development? Can it be a fix for a relationship on the rocks? Can it facilitate your connection to spirituality? And how? Can it be used as a solo experience? Tantric masturbation?! How to start? How to learn? Can anyone do it? How do you know if you've had it in the past?

@Star Net Yes, indeed. I have relationships with others but they have been re-calibrated, recycled and my friend networks have changed a fair bit. I used to be heavily emotionally dependent on those around me. Now, I am free to enjoy their company, and visa versa, without pressure of expectation. It feels healthy and balanced and wholesome. My relationship with myself has deepened and grown. It's a far cry from how it used to be.

I don't really understand loneliness anymore. I used to feel lonely but I can't remember why, or what it feels like. I'm so pleased with this progress.

I've started to be open to the possibility that there is no such thing as a true calling. Just like it doesn't necessarily make sense to stay with the same partner for life. We change and outgrow our surroundings. And I'm happy about that. My life would be far less colourful if my beliefs, surroundings and networks all stayed the same forever more. I realise that I am a dynamic being, capable of adapting and growing and changing. I want that to continue. So, I'm becoming less focused on my LP as being a career or a certain 1 dimensional path...and more about doing what I have to do in order to fund and facilitate the things which make my heart soar, whatever they may be. Maybe that's my LP.

Interesting article... The participants are being asked quite leading questions, though, don't you think? 'Compared to other participants...' That's an ego-loaded question to begin with. You will either put yourself as feeling/being less capable or more capable than your test partners. If you put yourself as less capable, that's seen as lack of self worth, but if you put yourself as more capable, that's seen as egotistical. Seems a little unfair (according to my ego lol). I wonder if the questions were left more open, as such, would the test subjects even think to pit themselves against their test partners? I wonder if there could be a more accurate way to test this theory, at least.

Pahaha!! That's gonna be in my head all night now...

P.S I'm neurotic and working on it... and I'd agree that I like to control situations and I get agitated easily. Less so since regular meditation and some good therapy, mind. Work in progress.

Lil stalking bromance happening here. Ahhh I can feel the (creepy) love

LOVE this!

Has she been to her doctor and been taken seriously about her emotional state? Took me 34 years to be taken seriously and I now I am on a great path of true recovery.

I've seen some horrible documentaries on the 'back stage' of the porn industry. It could make me cry what some people put themselves through. But regardless of that, I also find most porn a turn off. I have watched it in the past (although not very much of it), and now I just don't bother with it. It doesn't turn me on. Real genuine interaction (whether physical or intellectual) is where it's at for me. The facial expressions alone...lol Ahhh man.

I'm not saying that morality should go out of the window. I mean more about dropping unhelpful labels. Isn't this what many teachers are saying? Can't something or someone just 'be'? I believe in Karma and I wouldn't suddenly believe that I can do whatever I want regardless and put it down to neutrality. But perhaps I could stop myself from taking pity on people, or judging people as evil or corrupt or stupid etc etc Mainly for the benefit of my own internal well-being. But also because it has a positive effect on those around me to be that way, too? To lead by example, or to attract better-suited relationships and situations. It's not about dropping the ability to distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate, good and bad (although those particular 'labels' are subjective!) especially for survival and moral purposes (but people's morals differ greatly). I'm thinking more about recognising what things, traits, people, situations, ideas can do well without a solid label. After all, opinions differ on most subjects. What's the point in striving for one unanimous label? So 'meaninglessness'...negative or positive? Does it really matter? If something has no meaning to you, it may to someone else...it is whatever you think it is, based on your very specific field of experience which is different to everyone else's. Who's making the argument? My guess is the ego. Transcend it all and one would find no urge to ponder 'negative or positive'? And if I were to transcend it all perhaps I wouldn't have written all this lol Time for a cup of tea...

Bilbo Faggins *leaves the room sheepishly*

So good! I've added all 3 to my electronica playlist on Spotify. I'm getting little inspiration hints of Caribou and Hot Chip (but more minimal). I feel really chilled. This is just my kinda cup o'tea. Great work.

@Rilles Haha! Thank you!

@StephenK Yes, neutral...that's the one. I often tend to be a black and white thinker, myself. But 'neutral' describes very well what I was trying to get across there. From what I gather, the loss of ego would result in neutrality. Recognition/awareness without judgement.

Isn't it the ego arguing over what 'meaningless' means? Whether it's negative or positive? Why does it have to be one or the other?

@Nahm Haha you remembered! What cologne is it? (Lovely smells are my weakness, I'm afraid!)