Hello! I am also new to this forum. I’m sorry to hear what you’re experiencing! I am also a lesbian, I’m still in high school but I can relate to a lot with what you’ve said. I’ve dealt with similar sorts of people you’ve mentioned above, and it can feel really discouraging especially when you’re still in the process of healing yourself from internalized self-hate and depression.
Right now, the best thing for you to do is to just try and get through it the best you can, which I think you’re doing a really good job at doing. Dealing with loneliness is really painful, but also confronting that loneliness has been one of the most spiritually gratifying experiences I’ve had so far. Loneliness is ineveitable, even if you find that perfect girlfriend or friend group. Working on creating a more forgiving and friendly relationship with yourself can help cope with those feelings.
I’ve gone to a couple of LGBT teen support groups and I never really felt like I fit in there. I don’t really have much advice as I’m still figuring it out myself, but going to places that have your similar interests (it may be yoga, concerts, art musuems, nature, etc) and you will eventually find others on the same frequency as you.
It is okay to not limit yourself! :-) Keep telling yourself you attract kind, honest, unconditionally loving friends. You do not have to wait two years to tell yourself that. Your thoughts are a reality, and can create possibilities you previously limited yourself to.
While you may not find other people on the LGBT+ spectrum, it can set the potential for you to find supporting friends.
