Surfingthewave

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Posts posted by Surfingthewave

  1. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    @ardacigin What is your goal for meditation? I think it's good to check in with experienced teachers or other meditators once in a while. 

    Further advice for newbies, particularly if you don't fancy the 10 day retreats, meditate every day for 20 mins then slowly build that up to 30 mins. This could take months. Consider trying different techniques (breath work, do nothing, noting etc). When you're able to quiet the monkey mind within five minutes of a sit, consider sitting for hour long sits, several times over a day or a weekend, you can do this at home or go solo somewhere you won't be disturbed. You can easily build these into your schedule. Once a year go to a formal meditation centre for a retreat or session to check in with the teachers. 

  11. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    Sexuality is fluid, like any non duality it can merge into one. There is no binary when it comes to sexuality and gender but the world we live it likes dualities so pressure from social norms makes us decide our sexuality from an early age. I think a mature and enlightened person can move between sexualites without judgement, or not feel pressure to "be" any sexuality. 

  13. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    On 31/05/2019 at 5:32 AM, CreamCat said:

     

    On 31/05/2019 at 5:32 AM, CreamCat said:

     

    @XYZ Lots of food for thought and points I found triggering. You have hit on a very sad but crucial concern of our times, the epic rise in male suicide. I think your points about how men process emotion leading to social expectation and isolation are key. I lost a good friend to suicide last year, he was such a top bloke, one the best, little did we know he was suffering. Trying to understand and contemplate why he chose to do this is still difficult process.

    I agree that some women struggle to feel positively about themselves and perhaps that is also to do with role models, cultural context and social conditioning. 

    Question is, how to we address this imbalance? 

  15. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    "As a woman so she knows" 

    The ego appears to take on many forms, with many layers that tricks itself into believing its own status. When you reduce it to just a state, one can transcend it. 

    I'm interested to hear people's positive or negative versions of ego. 

    @Aakash have you reflected on the role your own ego can play when disidentifying the mind? 

    @Bill W illuminating the ego could begin the path to transcending it. Trying to retrain it might give you a bigger ego, as we have seen. Interesting metaphor used - Neon and the bullets. 

    @Preetom If you are infinite how does this fit in with your idea of a universal ego? 

    @LastThursday Absolutely - all the world's a stage, all the men and women are merely players. This "stage" is consciousness, or the screen of the mind. I tend to have different movies playing out depending on the day. Yesterday it was Neverending story, I'm hoping today it'll be Die Hard. 

     

  17. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    What is the root cause of your addiction? For example you describe when things 'get tough' you relapse, run away from problems and loose hope. This is life on the path my friend, the push and pull between light and dark. Continue your inner work and you'll not only discover more light and love you could have ever imagined but that you, are the light. 

  18. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    Yes I can relate to this success paradigm. I was chasing my own tail for 10 years, desperately seeking success in my career. I realise now I was resisting and avoiding my own insecurities and massive low self esteem. I wasn't able to express myself and who I was so I thought being a hot shot TV executive was the answer. I smile at this now. 

    You mentioned you used to be poor. Why do you think the two are linked - success/relationship chasing and lack of abundance? 

    You're doing exactly the right thing for you, raising your awareness, self inquiry etc. I also spent years in meditation, some counselling, coaching, law of attraction work, affirmations, yoga, but interestingly for me it was Reiki healing that became the tipping point because I found my voice. Good luck my friend, it's an amazing journey. 

  19. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    @The Don loving this thread.

    For me, Creativity is about intuition, the voice. Not the monkey mind, but being. I've found the more meditation I do the more creative I become.

    The more you quiet the mind the more the creativity unfolds. Creativity can also come from emotional turmoil, inner struggle and living life on the line. Almost as if you have nothing left, but this. 

  21. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    On 31/05/2019 at 5:32 AM, CreamCat said:

     

    On 31/05/2019 at 5:32 AM, CreamCat said:

     

     

    On 16/06/2019 at 0:46 AM, Epiphany_Inspired said:

    Ha ha @Shin.

    Thanks @Flatworld Crusades @Surfingthewave @SgtPepper @Shadowraix ... Although I'd rather discuss the other ideas mentioned ... the idea that probably needs the most attention is the one @Surfingthewave mentioned. *Some* men *may* fake confidence to feel better, or seem more attractive, others genuinely have it, even if it may endanger their safety at times... lol... with women, I see a mix of a few disturbing things that have become far too pervasive: 

    1. Lack of esteem/ efficacy being "expected" in females / even distorted as an "attractive" quality (such as "damsel in distress")

    2. Cultural and patriarchal conditioning aimed to damage esteem and/or efficacy in females (including religion, media etc)

    3. In home negative esteem & efficacy conditioning from male family members/ partner/ parent

    4. Sub-text negative conditioning within female circles and friendships

    5. Sub-conscious negative conditioning within female's own minds...

    Freedom from all of this can be a real challenge for any woman/ girl/ trans/ etc. As you can see from above, we are bombarded with this from all directions, even at home. One could get freedom from #1-4 hiding in a cave... but you'd be in there with a mind that has already absorbed all of the rest of it. This conditioning is just like any limiting belief system for a male/ female/ trans/ etc. I would assume it has to be dealt with in the same way, but other ideas/ comments are most welcome ?

     

    @Epiphany_Inspired There is  absolutely a lot of deep rooted layers conditioning women have to contend with. Particularly when growing up from popular culture - the media, magazines, young adult fiction etc. Books studied at school - Macbeth, Hamlet, Frankenstein where the women are absolutely depicted as "damsel in distress" type women or just plain mad. In politics stong women are depicted as masculine or harassed and degraded for being over emotional or too much. 

    Your points about self esteem and self efficacy, particularly influenced by groups of friends and sub texts is key. This develops at such a young age and continues into adulthood. Bullying, jealousy, negative self image created from these groups is damaging and long lasting. 

    I also sigh deeply when female debates are *jokingly * pointed to periods by men or suggested there is a victimhood at the root. This is exactly the kind of conditioning we're up against.

    This means the inner work goes deep when it comes to gender and conditioning, more unravelling is needed, meditation, contemplation and really working on those triggers. In my experience freedom and liberation is obtainable however, its the freedom from our own thoughts and cultural conditioning which is the golden key and not about joining feminist groups or belittling men. 

  22. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    @Western Buddha Deeply consider your reaction to what happened. Perhaps you need to explore your thoughts on your own sexuality, gender and sexual identity. Also you mentioned in your thread you are 100 per cent "straight". Forgive me for saying but in 2019 this is quite a statement. Maybe contemplate why you feel the need to express yourself this way and keep doing the inner work. 

  24. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    @Shaun I've been there my friend. It's not a great place to be but when you get to the next stage you'll feel a lot different. What goes down must come up. Journalling really helped me and there's some great advice here given to you about looking after yourself. Remember to continue to be aware and if it goes on for too long get professional help. 

  25. Posted

    So every time I have a breakthrough, experience deep insights, awakenings or I'm getting really successful and in the flow with my life purpose breaking through plateaus etc, I get sick. I mean, probably flat out ill with a virus. Not directly straight after but sometime after. I then fall behind with meditation practice, yoga, life purpose work. This has happened several times in past six months. This ego is a total devil.