Surfingthewave

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Posts posted by Surfingthewave

  1. Posted

    Absolutely there are healthy and unhealthy habits when it comes to finances, I feel Leo has only touched on the topic of money psychology. 

    Insights I had when I looked into my own spending patterns was looking at what the function was of over spending. The function was comfort and filling a void. I would spend money I didn't have to put a plaster over emotional problems, or because I was in a job that wasn't my life purpose I was frustrated - over spending became a way of dealing with it. 

    Ramit Sethi has written a good book about this, as I'm sure have many financial gurus.

  2. Posted

    2 hours ago, Robi Steel said:

    Many of them did not grow up with a father and therefore suffer under completely one-sided, overly sensitive and overly nurturing parenting. They were given no proper tools whatsoever to be a successful man, I dont blame them for feeling anger. 

    Majority of CEOs male (problem) vs. majority of coal miners male (not a problem)

    Men only care about looks (problem) vs. women only care about money (not a problem)

    Not only do feminists try to destroy any kind of positive male image or positive male space, it is also obvious that this whole thing is not about equality anymore. Equality has become a tool for many womens egotism. 

    I hope this doesnt come about as too anti-feminist. 

    Equal but different but together as one the same. 

    What are the proper tools to be a successful man? Why would a child's upbringing be overly sensitive if the child was raised without a father? 

    There are a lot of assumptions in your thread, they are not anti femininst, the fact that you are making these points makes this so. Your points about masculinity and femininity are quite binary however , your stats might be near the mark but I'm just interested in how you've formed your ideas, particularly on the above and what positive male images and spaces are. 

     

  4. Posted

    Being a self help obsessive for many years, I've slowly been able to unpick this paradigm through deep spiritual work. I'm at a place where self help feels illusory, a social construct and an industry which preys on people's sense of "lack". However I'm aware I've had to help my "self" to get to this point. The more I study and read the more I realise the problem is also how the solution is being marketed, that the self, alone, is something that needs to be helped. 

    As I'm moving into a more non-dual way of living I'm more for critical thinking and questioning why we're so obsessed with the individual when it comes to helping "the self". I'm questioning the culture which helps to construct our problems: mental health, sexuality, religion, rules about beauty relationships, success etc. Rather than focusing so much on the self, how do we redefine this type of work so we question our social norms, context and culture rather than endlessly seeing fault in ourselves? 

  5. Posted

    @mandyjw

    9 hours ago, mandyjw said:

    @Bodigger

    would quite quickly develop very strong emotional love toward. 

    There is a lot of potential for abuse as you can imagine if they chose a living "guru" or pastor or teacher who doesn't understand the path of devotion and doesn't live by a very strong moral code. 

    This is what is very worrying, the development of strong emotional love and devotion to individuals who are in fact not living by the book they are so devoted to. I think this type of hero worship no- matter- what is what is happening with Trump supporters as well as Christian groups as you describe.

    I'm sorry if you felt I was making fun of you, rather the opposite - I respect your views and glad to hear you are able to express them honestly from a place of love. 

  6. Posted

     @mandyjw

    Where are you now with your beliefs? I'm fascinated by how these beliefs start, you've clearly had a struggle getting to where you are? 

    On 14/08/2019 at 3:24 PM, mandyjw said:

    Many churches and ministries are run like businesses. Being a Pastor or even a missionary means being a salesman complete with marketing skills being a necessity. 

    Absolutely, this is why Evangelicals support Trump. He has sold them on issues discussed- anti abortion, anti LBGTQ+ etc etc, overriding his serious lack of IQ, and sexist / racist cacophony. 

  7. Posted

    This doc is much about power that it is about spiritual collective ego. Power of the collective using a smokescreen of spirituality, a recipe for accepted  oppression of others.

    Great doc, as always it takes an investigative journalist in the mix to raise awareness. Rich people on drugs? What's the difference between fantasy and reality here? They're already doing it dude, just not the type you're wanting them to take. 

  9. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    Perhaps instead of backsliding which implies the negative, we could think of another term which indicates growth, wisdom, guidance and positivity fostering more self love on the path. 

    I'm thinking like the in and out of the breath, or expansion and contraction, when you "let go" of old habits you'll be getting pulled back, but maybe it's more like a wiggly line. We could call it self expansion, developing or self realising? 

  14. Posted

    Great illustrations here @Aeris.

    Question is @Dwarniel can you rid yourself of your identity? What is your identity if not a thought story?

    Our ego is terrified of deconstruction, because essentially it is part of the rich tapestry that is our self. 

    We've had quite a few posts on this forum about what ego is, yet it still baffles us because if we knew we could transcend it. 

  15. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    I've read this book. It's a great spiritual resource, and don't underestimate it's power, because it is a short book.

    It's worth being here because of the following points. To summarise...

    - Your thoughts are what make you, so if you think yourself a certain way then you will be

    - Starts the idea of Law of Attraction 

    - Challenges the idea of thought and how to change them to achieve your dreams. For example if you want to become more of a Buddha/Einstein/ Da vinci or just a better person, you can. You just need to change your thoughts

    - Pre Tony Robbins (essentially Tony may have stolen from this book as well as NLP) 

    - The way it is written. Very inspiring, uplifting, motivational and straight forward. Particularly if you want to get on the path to mastery. Although could be called As A Person Thinketh.

    - Introduces consciousness, if you're aware of thought, it's a game changer. The book doesn't go particularly deep (in terms of consciousness work) but it's message can flip a switch for you. From unconscious to conscious. 

  16. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    @herghly This is interesting I've had a similar experience. It's almost the deeper you go, the more your spiritual work intensifies, the more your backsliding intensifies.

    For me, following retreats, I would self inquire more.  The space of awareness (awareness of the concept of backsliding) seemed to become clearer and clearer.

    You used the term battling. I'm just curious why you used this word. Is it really a battle? What has your spiritual insights taught you about your thought patterns and previous habits? 

  18. Posted · Edited by Surfingthewave

    8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    The problem with meeting people in person is that it's a lot of hassle and my reach becomes very small.

    @Leo Gura This is just an observation and I realise you are writing a book but with your knowledge/experience you could write a thousand books, without questions from your audience. It appears you are questioning yourself (as these questions you are searching for are in fact coming from you) I'm curious why is that? Are you going through self doubt about your work? 

    Also your mentioning of meeting people might be "hassle". Again I'm curious, working within parameters online is very safe to a point, why would you prefer to use this context rather than a smaller one face to face. Nothing can beat the real thing. 

     

  20. Posted

    Yes I can relatate to this. What helped me was to use meditation practices to explore what was the function of the perfectionism. Turns out deep self esteem difficulties and fear linked to emotional trauma I experienced. This is heavy stuff and your experience might not be as heavy but the power of meditation blew all this out of the water and I am much more decisive, confident and focused on my goals now. 

  22. Posted

    @Viking I think this is a good strategy. Going hard at being disciplined can lead to burn out, loss of interest or high levels of distraction. 

    I tend to do something every day towards my life purpose. Even if it's five minutes it will usually lead to longer. 

    Also you've got to have a big enough why. Why are you doing the things you need to do, for what reason and use  daily language/affirmations to help you stay motivated. I use a tick box system for daily practice. I'm wired visually to this seems to help. Momentum is built by daily practice and you're less likely to stray off focus.