Surfingthewave

@Stef_BG I hear you. As the only constant in this process is change, your feelings will eventually pass. What I've learnt is it just takes a while to integrate, but your baseline consciousness is permanently different. Following that awakening experience my ego seriously kicked back so all my bad habits returned a vengeance, hence the low mood /passivity. It's almost a test to see of you're in it for the long haul.

I realise the irony of the above statement, but any tips? The last awakening experience left this feeling of life being meaningless.

@kieranperez Yes there's something about needing to mix it up a bit, and good idea about getting outside. I used to always struggle with walking meditations but now I'm going deeper it's bit like tripping as there's so much to take in from your environment. @Shin I get a bit stuck in concepts so although I'd done a lot of the theory when it came to enlightenment I'd never actually felt it. The awakening last week was me feeling it in every cell of my being, and moving from the "witness" of the "I" or "I am" (or awareness) to actually becoming it. Was pretty mind blowing and hours went by of me in this state, and I suddenly got it.

@kieranperez Good suggestions, and yes authenticity and honesty is something I need to work on @Leo Gura Thank you, yes developing self love is as important as the process itself, it has almost become "work" at the moment, could be because it feels very very isolating and there's very people I can discuss it with, in fact nobody really!

Thanks all, seemingly this is very cyclical and normal but I guess the magic happens when this is integrated into "normal" life. I look forward to the healing stage and going deeper down the rabit hole. It kind of shocked me cos I'm a positive kinda gal.

Thank you all for your tips and insights. @abrakamowse the ego is a complex complex thing which takes a lot of work to break down. @Leo Gura It was during a meditation practice, I was doing many hour long sits over several days. Specifically it was during a guided self enquiry (Rupert Spira) meditation, I became fully aware of the "I" as consciousness and experienced what can only be felt as pure, pure bliss. It was such a intensity that I sat like that for a very long time afterwards contemplating, and shed a few tears in the process. But now, two days later, back to normal life I feel quite low.

Maybe then think about what else you can use as a reward instead that's more appropriate. If you're meditating you're already on the right path, just keep going, good luck.

What do you think the sugar is replacing in your life? Get to the bottom of that and you get to the root cause my friend. Sounds like you are a talented artist in the wrong job. Follow your dreams, answer your inner voice and addictions tend to fall away I've found. It's a struggle but there's beauty in breaking free.

@mandyjw I hear you, andI hear the frustration in your words. I've been where you are and keep returning to that place but the more you do the work the more aware you become of this process and can start to see it for what it really is. It sounds more like your ego kicking back. Allow it to kick back, relish in it and bathe in it. In terms of your kids, they are the best example of moment by moment living and experiencing life as it is. Keep doing what you're doing as as Leo and others say, intensify, intensify intensify. The hardest thing about this path is staying on it.

Based on the experiences of self actualizers on this froum and beyond how do we revise Descartes famous statement (which has influenced individualism and the idea of duality for centuries) I think, therefore I am.... not love I think therefore I am.. not the no self Also how do we aslo revise Carl Jungs concepts of The Self which has influenced modern psychology and western thinking to the present day?

Thank you @How to be wise I've read the book Loving What Is before and and I've been completing some of the work sheets. With the turnarounds this is where I was getting stuck, so interesting that you have to use three examples. What is the idea behind using these examples - self, the other and opposite?

@Mikael89 I'm fascinated to know where your beliefs about women have come from. @Dodo You're here on this forum, therefore your abundance is there within you. Its just about seeing it.

@ivankiss yes I can relate to linearity, probably cos of my job/personality. The idea of full circle drives me a bit crazy, and of course this is all illusory. Also I like to complete something, but this is a path that never ends and is scary stuff.

When I started this journey I was beginning to realise the extent of what is, the importance of letting go/being aware in the moment and the amazing potential of this on the meaning of my life and who/what I am. I've worked for the past 4 years on intensifying and developing this (yoga, meditation, self inquiry, learning etc) with massive ego backlashes, jumps forward, insights and breakthroughs) but I seem to be right back to where I started. Strange loops aside, what's this about? Is this the emptiness trying to break through the obsessional seeker?

Think we need some moderators here. I'm sorry you feel this way, but sounds like you need some extra support with this.

@mandyjw thanks for your insights.

@FoxFoxFox Perhaps the desire is the problem, take that away and what have you got? A satisfied cat...? Like alchemy we create these hitches in the path to bring us closer to what is. @Shin I'm not a gamer, sorry, dont get the reference!

I had a similar experience recently and it was blissful. What were you doing prior to this experience to bring it on?

@DrewNows Absolutely - there is definitely a lack of urgency and resistance and actually that is seemingly what we are seeking.

I hope Leo does organise a way folk on this forum can meet as it will be fascinating to meet some of you face to face! Will that be an illusion though?

This is a great way of discussing thz topic @FoxFoxFox. For surrender, for me, challenging assumptions is the tricky part. As is being aware of how just being on the path itself can throw you off the path- you just read some recent topics/non duality arguments on this forum to see this. I can definitely relate to feeling stuck in the observer + object stage.

@Shiva Consciousness wise I should say.

When I was experiencing very difficult emotions of grief which manifested in chronic pain I had a reiki healing massage which was a real turning point. My heart and throat chakras were blocked. Its a real thing.

@Charlotte yes it is very profound, you say beyond the mind, do tell more on this. @Hellspeed this is interesting as I've been doing a lot of work on unblocking the throat chakra recently. Perhaps the Muladhara needs work too.

Great post @ivankiss We can mould reality the way we choose, we're just stuck in concepts and illusion and of what we "can't"