Surfingthewave

@kieranperez Hey, so how's the practices going for you dude? @Truth Addict We resist what in fact we actually need. Your reactions to Ralston = your reactions to yourself. Ego is screaming to get out. You're making progress. @mandyjwI like your references to wizardry and illusions. As you say gurus are just people after all, they have weaknesses just like us. It's like holding a mirror up, a reflection of ourselves. The veil of illusion can be thin for some but thick for others. Depends how far down the rabbit hole you want to go.

@arlin Firstly daily meditation is a must , there are many techniques out there, Leo explores them in his meditation vids. Exercise, such as yoga, journalling every day, letting go technique to name a few others. There are many many things you can do, try them for size and go with the ones that feel right for you. As an over thinker myself there are ways you can let it go. The crux of this though is raising your awareness. Realising that your thinking is just thinking, similar to any other sensation in the body.

@Truth Addict Yes and for experienced path seekers we can get stuck at this point for years. When you realise this, the struggle becomes a dance, that's when the fun begins.

Interesting post. Shinzen Young talks about this in his work. When we experience emotional pain, it is the suffering of the pain we are experiencing. Through practices such as mindful meditation, we can become aware of this suffering. Dissolve the suffering you dissolve the fear. So yes fear boils down to fear of suffering. What would suffering look like? What would it feel like? To me, suffering is just a sensation but it comes in many forms.

@Mikael89 The difference is billions of people aren't aware. There is also a difference between seeking and practice. Seeking is a concept, practice is what is. @Serotoninluv Yes the spiritual seeking path can take you away from what is. People spend years and years following this path but again the path itself is an illusion. I've been down that path myself. Ego loves a struggle, a process, a path, a journey. But it's not freedom. Spira talks about this in his work. @Truth Addict Good for you, sounds like you've tasted freedom.

@siasatmadar You're identifying with it it very heavily. Deconstruct it. What is the social anxiety is protecting you from? After a lot of meditation, particularly mindfulness meditation as I struggled with something very similar, now I love standing alone in a group of people, being completely and totally joyful by myself. We are raised in a society to be sociable, popular, funny, confident. This is bullsh**. This is an illusion, a social construction. Forget other people. Just be you, nothing else, but who is that? Work on that, your passions, hobbies, interests, loves. Sleep, diet, exercise, meditation, nature. Drop the social anxiety, who really are you, find out who that is and love just that.

@leintdav000 Yes to your question. You are having insights like this at age 20, you have nothing to"fix" as you have recognised this already which is great progress. Manifestations of child abuse appear in very different ways. You have been able to become aware of this so trust yourself and you will succeed.

@DoTheWork I'm not sure what you're trying to say. Good luck though.

@Vicus Well done for posting, it takes courage to reveal all for the first time. What your describing seems to be what a lot of us go through, we make massive progress but we get pulled back, back into thoughts, separation, away from the now. Letting go seems to be as easy as it sounds but in reality it's like moving a mountain. Your ego will always try to protect you, using thought as a shield if you like. Perhaps each time this happens give it up, let it go and realise it's happening because you're making progress. Keep doing what you're doing, and don't underestimate what you have achieved in the past two years. Less is more. Celebrate how you've got here. Also remember you're not flawed. You're the opposite.

@Dwarniel Sounds like it is the call to adventure. Pack up your stuff and venture forth. You are having a Luke Skywalker moment. This life is very precious and short, if you're getting the calling, go for it and ignore everyone else. You're not escaping, you're listening.

Hi @Bill W journalling sounds like it will be good for as you have started problem solving already. What was interesting about your post is you are exactly where you are meant to be. It sounds like you are getting back into what you you have lost recently - the work you need to do. But also, like David H says, what is the payoff for where you are? The procrastination, victim mode etc. You know what the payoff is, the pleasure and satisfaction from being separated from the source, being what we really are. What you've described is our narcissist ego at full pelt (I know cos I'm just coming out of a similar state). Get back to the source my friend. The silence. Detach, laugh it off, see it for what it really is. Excessive thinking is not the source. You know this but you've got to delve deep because you have been making serious progress prior to this. Give yourself a break, celebrate your success. You're doing great.

Thank you for this @Bill WGreat videos. You can tell David Hawkins is Enlightened by the way he speaks and holds himself. He is chuckling at life, living with such ease because he has cracked it.

Hi @Natasha thank you for this post. Losing a loved one can make you feel a roller-coaster of emotions. It is important to ride that roller coaster and not deny your feelings. Trying to "just get on with it" is hard. Grief can grip you, paralyse you and choke you. But grief can also bring you profound acceptance of what is a natural process in life. For me, crying was a great release, as was contemplation. However long it takes, take that time. Loss and pain is tough, so it is important you look after yourself, do the things you love and reach out, as you have done. After two and a half years the loved one I lost is still a very painful thing but I can feel him as the sun on my face, the gentle wind in my hair and the endless clouds in the sky. I send you love, my friend.

@Yonkon I have experienced something very similar, as a result of trauma. Things that have helped throat chakra blockages are Reiki Healing Massage, Yoga and meditation, screaming / singing therapy, affirmations. Also diet is really important - blueberries and spices can really help.

My experience of meditation during the day job was interesting. It was pretty much letting go of the thoughts and sensations whilst typing at the computer . I was meditating while I was typing. What was interesting was a sense of peaceful rest, a sense of source but this quickly merged into the normal monkey mind and it was like I had turned on the brain and everything came into focus again, thoughts, sensations etc. I made a conscious effort to become more conscious, but not to become the monkey mind again, this happened instantaneously. If we are seeking the enlightened self, it shouldn't be effortful, right? Any tips would be of interest.

It is a systemic issue but it also about treatment for depression. Stigma of mental health. You break a leg, you talk about it, people ask if you're ok. You have a serious mental health issue, you don't talk about it, you get worse. In under developed countries, treatment for mental illnesses are seen as more of a community issue perhaps rather than an individuals? Treatments vary such as ayahuasca ceremonies, and seen as more of a link to spirit than anything else. A sense of being part of something bigger really can save your life. In the more developed world social isolation, is also a factor.

@Bill W We can get into the idea of meditation just being when we're sat on the cushion, at home but there's some real power in doing it throughout the day. I'm just interested in the flip between meditation becoming more than just a state we "get into" but that it's the source we tap into, always. We are just usually swinging about in the trees listening to our monkey mind - especially at work.

@Wekz Why do you think you suffer with shame? Brene Brown has written some excellent books on shame, guilt and vulnerability.

I think we've got to the crux of the problem with this work. It's very very hard to consistently commit to a daily practice every day year on year for many many years, to see significant results. Psychedelics are quicker option, and if you have difficulties with motivation or attention and want amazing off the scale results, then it is an option. This isn't a better option it's just a different one. However, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon, so what's the rush. This work isn't a quick fix. The beauty of this work is how you get there. Drugs or no drugs you've still got to commit. Sounds like it may be more of a struggle than you'd thought.

Abundance is within you, you just need to see it. Emotional pain is finite. You (the source, God, awareness) is infinite. See the impermanence in everything and you've nailed it.

@Meditationdude Shinzen Young, Rupert Spira to name a few. Don't just follow one. Keep up the meditation, this could be you, staring at the pit of the void, part of the path. As we go deeper, we question our path, our beliefs, our teachings, ourselves. I went through this too, recently actually. Realise these thoughts for what they are and keep going.

@Justincredible76 Could be a blocked throat Chakra? I suffered with neck, shoulder and back pain, had some Reiki and turned out it was that.

@RobertZ Perhaps is it your perception of the study rather than the reality of the study that is difficult? This is the basis of self motivation. It is easy to talk out way out of something than to do it.

@Vido Snap out of what exactly? What exactly are you feeling, sensing, perceiving when you feel the need to snap out of.

@d0ornokey Yes maybe. It's a struggle to flip from the individual to a more POV worldview, I guess I've been wired that way a bit more.