Surfingthewave

@Valwyndir I feel for you dear seeker, you appear to be stuck in a bit of a rabbit hole. Mainly the ego trap. When we're stuck it could be because we're about to make leaps forward. Keep up your practices, refine your work and maybe stop the preaching a bit? Good luck and namaste ?

@Valwyndir When we like to point out a person's flaws we are actually pointing to our own. You make some important points, do you think you may struggle with attachment yourself? What are you struggling with? Perhaps it's being told what reality really is. This work is like holding a mirror to your beautiful self. And realising, there is no self. The beauty is in fact, what's around you.

Yoga Nidra and triggers Had my first Yoga Nidra session. A 45 minute session is the equivalent of 3 hours sleep. The science behind is a culmination of yoga/meditation - you are letting go of physical and mental blocks in the body through guided visualisation and breathwork. Sadness and other emotions arose post session. What are triggers? Situations that bring up deep feelings within us that may cause difficult or distressing thoughts. Mindful awareness is good here, as well as self care and seeking support. Focus for the moment Life sustains itself. Let go of the ego and life takes care of itself through you (Adyashanti). Does it really and truly matter (to your ego)? Let go by letting the moment embrace you. Life will sustain itself. We (the self) can't handle this however , we think that life is "me" or "I am....."

January update: Returning to source Something about returning to source has hit home for me. Practices: One month of daily Do Nothing meditation One month of daily enlightenment exercises (Deepak Chopra) Daily walks, readings, regular yoga Continuation of Abraham Hicks allowing (wow this does really work) Regular art practices - drawing and printing Update: In deep meditation I sensed and felt infinity, a beautiful whirling space of nothingness and everythingness. I felt a pull to it but as soon as I began conceptualising what it was, of course it slipped out of grasp. There are days when ego has a tight grip and days when source is there. The path becomes another conceptual form. I know I'm breaking free and watching the chaos around me. I sense a time to ramp up my practices and a pull to creativity as this is my life purpose.

@SilentTears Thank you I hope you are doing well too. Sounds good, mindfulness can bring real joy. @Raptorsin7

What happens when you really merge with what is? Like really and truly with your entire being or your field of awareness. What happens when you let go of any resistance to the moment at all? Resistance can come in many forms. Thoughts, sensations, feelings etc. When you move into this field of presence, you can become the field of presence. There is no longer a witness. You are then able to awaken. It can take moments or years. It's so simple but for many a lifetime of work.

Thank you @Raptorsin7! How's things with you? How is your practice?

Happy New Year dear seekers My last entry here was April last year, after which I quit the forum. I was projecting a lot of difficulties I was facing onto other things (including the forum and Leo) I wanted return to review where I'm at now. The biggest thing that happened was of course Covid. The outbreak that happened in my country, around the world and the subsequent impact on my daily life as a health worker was massive. It made me deal with some significant emotional issues from the past which were impacting on my enlightenment and meditation practice and stopping me from moving forward. I was angry, sad, upset, struggled with soft addictions and struggling to come to terms with who I was. I am now in a place where letting go has become a daily practice. I needed professional support and a great deal of work to understand how to move forward. The main take away is you must face those difficult feelings. Under my anger was fear, sadness and loss. Moving through these feelings was life changing. Self care and self love became a priority as was being active, healthy and connecting with nature. The more I learn, the more I realise how life really is a mystery waiting to be explored. I am aware of my infinite nature, that connecting with that open infinite space potential once you let go of ego noise is a thing of beauty, love, possibility and peace. Let go of what is holding you back - yourself. Let go of all that resistance. It could be fear, anxiety, sadness, regret. All of that is just sensations in the never-ending space that is your potential. Allow those things to be there. Invite them in. When you you do your life will change. Relax into the ever expanding moment and forgive yourself. There is something much bigger than you to behold. I continue to study, meditate, be active and create but most of all I feel joy in the small things. Don't let the beauty and mystery of life pass you by. Happy New Year and namaste ?

Interpreting that video can be done in many ways. Yes there were profound statements. But there was also: - Gradiose, delusional thinking - Talks of ending his life and has plans to do this - Saying goodbye to loved ones - Isolation, no one to check in with him - Taking of substances, substance misuse - Giving us a "message" through a manifesto - Retreating out of real life - Intense mood swings, high and low states in a short space of time - Talks of justifying dictators, extremism and rape - Obsessive desire for Truth at any cost - Lack of purpose If anyone lives near to Leo please check in on him. He may need a psychiatric assessment.

I've been a follower of Leo for five years. But recently I've felt concerned for Leo, his obsession with discovering Truth and his claims of being God. I'm concerned for his unstable mental health and I don't think he is taking responsibility for the influence he has. There is a wider discussion here about the dangers of publishing self development on You Tube particularly when you have absolutely no qualifications whatsoever. I don't think my concerns have been listened to. I'm out of the forum and will be unsubscribing. I want to thank Leo for the work he has done, the moderators and followers for all the amazing discussions I have had with some of you as you have helped me with my own self development journey. Good luck to you all, sending love and peace. Namaste ?

@Serotoninluv Thank you for your response, I have enjoyed and learnt a lot from your views and experiences. This is absolutely about me and no one else. You summed it up by using the words pause. This is a pause for everyone particularly at this time, and for me it is also my personal development and where I want to go next. My underlying intuition and resonance is telling me to observe but to change direction. Keep doing what you're doing, you and a handful of others makes this forum a quality one.

@Nahm Thank you, and keep being you (there's a lot of meaning in that) Time to take a leap of faith.... @LaucherJunge Cheers dude, as a chick on this forum (I like to keep up the pretence) I'm outnumbered. Maybe or maybe not..... see you on the other side ?

Last journal entry here I've taken the decision to leave the forum and to move on from actualized.org teachings. I feel ready to do this, there are lots of reasons but for me it is about finding a suitable teacher and the right path at the right time. In learning how to let go of myself, it is also learning about letting go of the things stopping you from moving forward. I will continue my journalling as I think it is one of the most powerful ways to self actualize. I wish you all love, peace, self acceptance and luck on your journey. Namaste ?

@Leo Gura Thanks, you too.

@Raptorsin7 Thank you, you too! ?

@wordsforliving Really really contemplate what you have just said. Why do you have to attain higher levels of consciousness? No it isn't the holy grail, be aware of how easily influenced you are. Forget psychedelics, forget enlightenment, this is advanced work for experienced folk. Start on basic self help on why you feel you are miserable. Stop being a sheep following blindly what you watch on you tube.

@Serotoninluv Fascinating, why not publish? Let go of the outcome, it would do great benefits to this community. There is some research into small amounts of esctasy benefitting certain people with long term neurological conditions. For that hour taking drugs small dosages can help the nervous system in such a way the person is no longer limited by symptoms. Ie a person able to do gymnastics who otherwise is not able to walk in their own. Great stories but this thread has totally derailed.

@Serotoninluv Interesting, if there is such a massive gap in research, perhaps lead the way!

@Meta-Man I disagree. Awakening doesn't need to take radical measures at all. In fact it is quite ordinary. It's just a shift in Understanding and Knowing. Have you read the scriptures, or studied Tao? That's the secret, but big ego's can't handle it. Big ego's want massive massive radical measures. Why do you think that is? You are projecting classic statements and beliefs I have heard many many times before, it's actually quite boring. Perhaps do some self reflection. This work isn't like sky diving, parachuting or rock climbing, it's not an extreme sport. Be a bit more aware before you communicate some of your ideas. Namaste ?

@voxun A good psychiatrist should give you advice about side effects and how to stay safe. They often get a bad wrap. They should understand the workings of the brain and nervous system particularly when taking certain types of substances. Maybe it's different in different areas. @Tanz I guess some people are intrigued by the dark side. I don't have experience of going ultra conscious but then I don't feel the need to. Perhaps some personality types are more susceptible to seeking this, obsessive seekers, people with ADHD, self critics etc and people to whom it is their life's work (Leo). I guess no matter how enlightened you are you still got to live life, chop wood, carry water etc, but it can be beautiful.

@Pookie Thank you for your gracious comments. Sending love ?

@Elisabeth Its not about being cautious, transparent or couragous. It's about taking responsibility for the power and influence he has particularly on newbies, particularly at this time of COVID when people are more vulnerable. There are newbies on here who are already following his path, just look already. Just don't make the vids about excessive drug taking when there is no evidence to suggest this is a path others should follow. Or do the research, seek medical advice, write a disclaimer and only send videos to experienced enlightened folk. I've already read about followers on here ending up needing psychiatric suppprt following watching Leo's vids and not safely following practices. I'm not saying this is right or wrong I'm just pointing this out as this is very dangerous for those who are inexperienced.

@LaucherJunge @Elisabeth Agreed but Leo is walking a path with 950k+ followers. He has a responsibility. If not, I'm out.

(Unconventional) Psychiatrist "So what brings you in today?" (Leo) "Just wondering what impact 5meo will have on my nervous system if I take X amount for 30 days straight?" Psychiatrist "It will make you believe you're God".

Sorry this thread has derailed. My last question is to @Leo Gura Did you seek medical advice prior to your retreat or during your retreat? If so what? If not why not?