the_end_of_me

@Nahm from reading the link you posted: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. If a thought does arise (and it is probable that thoughts will arise on their own), ask yourself to whom this thought is occurring. This returns your attention to the feeling of being "me." The method and goal of self-enquiry is to abide in the source of the mind and to be aware of what one really is by withdrawing attention and interest from what one is not. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- for some reason this confused me at first, but I guess essentially the practice is to learn that the "me" is not my thoughts right?

I'm sure you'll call me an NPC but that video WAS very annoying. And I don't blame them for not wanting some random guy videoing them, because people like their privacy. That being said, I don't think it is a typical "NPC" response, because for all the people in that video that got offended, there a plenty of ones that wouldn't mind or would just laugh or do something goofy.

@SoonHei Please read these articles, they will explain a lot about the serpent in the garden part 1: http://www.spiritofthescripture.com/id3393-genesis-chapter-3-the-allegory-of-the-serpent-ego.html#more-3393 part 2: http://www.spiritofthescripture.com/id3402-transforming-the-serpent-ego.html

a Bitch.

@Cortex this can happen sometimes for a second or two after waking up from a dream. Kind of a neat example of what is your identity.

define future

well, imagine a goldfish, which is said to have a memory span of anywhere from 3 seconds to a couple of months (the jury seems to still be out). Even if it were able to form some kind of rudimentary ego in that time, it's easy to think they don't have much sense of self.

@Victor Mgazi thank you. I will work on overcoming those obstacles. Back to my original question: what are actions? where do they come from? Is an action and a thought the same? Are they separate? Can one actually stop onseself from taking actions, or is it all related to the whole "there is no free will" topic.

***(sorry- posting on my other account because its the one my computer is signed into)*** This is true, except for that I actually do realize it, but can't seem to get a grip on the shifts. If getting a grip is even possible. ****(sorry- posting on my other account because its the one my computer is signed into)***** No, I can't find it. It seems like me, aka, starsofclay, the persona, yet it completely goes against "my" wishes. It feels like shit to blame myself, but the purpose it serves is to at least try and improve, for other's sakes. The blame comes from.... Good question. Obviously my egoic fears, but I'm not 100% sure they are incorrect. @B_Naz @robdl @Jack River @WelcometoReality @non_nothing @Victor Mgazi ****(sorry- posting on my other account because its the one my computer is signed into)***** Thank you all for your replies. I completely understand where you are coming from, but let me elaborate a bit. I own and operate my own business in the service industry. It is a daily minute-to-minute struggle to do good and right by all of my customers. I have anxiety, which only perpetuates my issue and corrupts how I think and process situations. Now, I'm not stupid enough to think that I can make everyone happy. That's not the issue. The issue is I literally watch myself make mistake after mistake, some not so important, others very important. For example, after 3 years, I still freeze up and almost hyperventilate with anxiety when handling complaints. Most of these complaints are with my employees, not usually with myself, but I still freeze up. A lot of these times I even forget to apologize, even though I really am sorry. I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the idea. Now, I'm not saying my business is failing or anything- in fact we are very successful. But the things that I KNOW we need to improve on, I don't take action. I have a a long list of things I want to add to our handbook, but have yet to get it all typed up. We get lots of good reviews and some mediocre to bad reviews online. Of course I am thankful for the good ones, but the bad ones really bother me because a lot of times its something that I know we could have improved on a long time ago which could possibly have prevented the bad review from happening. And of course I want and need my business to continue being successful, not only for my personal benefit and wellness, but for all of the people that I employ and rely on it. That all being said, once again, I literally watch myself make mistake after mistake, only to regret them immediately or some time after. And there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. I feel like its kind of a cop-out to say that there's no such thing as failures or mistakes, because nothings real anyway, and failures are all in the mind. Failures affect people. People that are essentially me. Whether other people exist or not, here they are! And they can be hurt. And I'm tired of hurting people due to my inability to overcome anxiety and my own egoic tendencies.

I'm curious about memory too. Not sure what to say about it though... not sure if it takes place inside the body or not.

@SoonHei sounds good to me Though I wouldn't know.

Please please read "Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner self" by Robert Waggoner, if you haven't already. Its on google book store and also probably Kindle. Amazing book for lucid dreamers that already know how to get lucid. As for your question, I don't have much experience with changing scenes, but I have experimented with it. I don't know your method of wind blowing in the face.... my method is spinning around and supposedly a new scene will emerge when you stop spinning (of course you have to have the intent of landing in a new scene) This method has yet to work for me... Another method that I tried - this one I made up on the spot in the middle of a dream- I fell face forward into the ground, and then melted through the ground. Was in a whole new scene once I got through. You should try that one, because it's literally forcing you to create a new scene, as long as you aren't on the second story of a building.

@SoonHei it might be less confusing if you say "other dimensions" rather than "other realities", at least in some "people's" case.

@MarkusSweden I'm interested to hear thoughts on this, because I had a similar question, but the opposite. With nootropics, which are supposed to do great things for memory, concentration, creativity, etc, they sound great but you have to take them for a while to even know if they do anything, and there's different kinds and its really hard to even know where to start. But then I was thinking that was it even worth the trouble? I feel like raising consciousness would do all these things and more, without the extra help. I don't buy into the whole "brains don't exist" idea, except for that nothing truly exists so that's why they don't exist. But within the illusion they are definitely there and observable, unless there's some mass conspiracy by doctors to fool us (not likely).

@Trangoody I think its a great idea... makes me want to live on an island Don't worry about its effectiveness, unless it just doesn't work for you. It's similar to the letting thoughts run down the stream meditation, but with the wind I can imagine its easier to visualize as you said.

@Butters Just make sure you don't chase the experience. Cherish it and integrate it, but don't try to chase it because you will just end up disappointed. Let every weed "trip" be something new and unique. it is strange that you blacked out and all of that. Had you been drinking? That combination gives me some weird mental dips, but what you described is different. I guess its possible that you were just ready for something ...

I like her videos.. she's very funny and tries to explain things in layman's terms. thanks for sharing

This one's problem is that he finds himself doing all of those things, then a split second later could be doing the exact opposite. Getting it to stick is harder than doing at all. Another issue he has is he doesn't listen to himself, when he tells himself to do all of those positive things you listed. Although, this could be in part because he doesn't know who's telling, and who's listening. Still needs work on that too.

@sarapr This has always interested me. Although not sure if you are just speaking of deaf and blind, but also this person does not have touch? Anyway, I have wondered if deaf persons have less mind chatter. God, that would be sublime, but I wouldn't want the trade off.

hmm this is interesting

You should definitely read "The book of not knowing" by Peter Ralston. Pretty much answers your question in the first few chapters.

The thing is, I don't really care if I die. It could all be over right now and I could care less. Sure, I would prefer it to be quick and painless, but the thought of dying does not actually scare me. I don't care if it wasn't real anyway. I don't care if it was all a hallucination, a dream, nothing at all. It doesn't bother me. I don't need it. In fact, I'm quite tired. And yes, I've been inquiring into all of this. I will admit there could be some ego deception on this point. But I truly have been feeling for a while, that I'm ready for it to just be over. But... At the same time, I care for those stuck in the illusion. Why I care for them, perhaps needs some more inquiry. Regardless, I do care for them. Because to them it's real. Because what I do in this hallucination still affects them. And I know how much it hurts sometimes. And I realize that ultimately, I am truly caring for myself. And... I want to help them. To help them experience it for themselves. Or to at least help make their eternal struggle easier and more bearable. Help them become lucid. So that they can make a choice: to keep it going or to let it end. It should be everyone's choice. Of course, one of the things that keeps us here is the excitement of what could come next, and the fear of what we might miss out. But we also realize that we care for the others that are stuck without a choice. Because it's not fair for them. Because we know how much it hurts. Even if it's not f***ing real to begin with. All this being said, I do not claim to be outside of the illusion. But I do see it, and can recognize it, and accept it. Perhaps this is what my goal is of helping others.

Q. what is a memory? Is it possible for a memory to be unbiased? @Dodo sorry, I phrased it wrong, The essential question was "Why"- I should have said- "why the actual fuck?"

@Dodo yes! google likes that word much better haha. Sorry @cetus56

@Dodo have you ever read The Book of Not Knowing? I'm working through it now... Q: why the literal hell? A: unanswerable (lol)