N8N

It's been four months now since I started and I'm starting to get reluctant to do Kriya. I'm seeing no benefits. My social anxiety has worsened, messing up my life. My practices are way too sketchy and I'm unable to concentrate every time. I have much less concentration in Kriya than in meditation or even daily life. Right from the beginning these practices started to get on my nerves making me mad. I continued, hoping this would go away, because I saw on this thread others were experiencing this too. Now it hasn't improved a bit. Kriya makes me pissed off and more unconscious afterwards. It doesn't help if my leg falls asleep almost every time. Now I don't like to do it anymore and I start longing to finish and distract myself every time and it's getting worse. I'm thinking of doing another branch of yoga. I tried to persist but it's getting clear this yoga isn't doing anything good for me. I'm looking for a style of yoga that is going to help with social anxiety. Enlightenment isn't my primary goal. I gave that up since I realized wanting to get enlightened was only getting in the way, and I only wanted to get enlightened because I wanted to get rid of social anxiety. That, and the benefits listed in the book are my primary goal. Do you guys have a suggestion?

@YogiLogan Thanks for the reply. I did locate the chakras. I always thought svadhisthana and manipura were a little higher than it said in the book. I can feel them all but never in the same session. Ironically, this morning I did, the day after posting that I couldn't. Very vague though. I remember watching Leo's concentration video a long time ago. Concentrating on something else is a lot easier than concentrating on muladhara while looking from the back of the skull. Maybe because these are two concentration objects? When I concentrate on looking, then the concentration and sensation on medulla drops and vice versa. It's confusing. I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I found that visualizing a thread or a laser going from the back of the head to the front is easier. That way I can feel medulla and bhrumadhya at the same time. Would this be a good idea?

I have been doing kriya for 3 months now, and every time during the concentration my mind is very active and I get a strong urge to quit. I also get frustrated and sometimes even mad because I feel like this isn't supposed to happen. I have been meditating for 3 years and this is not normal for me. When I choose not to focus on medulla and just meditate my mind quiets down. I thought this was going to get better, but after 3 months I see no improvement. Looking from the back of the head to between the eyebrows is weird. My mind switches between focusing on medulla and different ways of looking from medulla. There are too many things to concentrate on at once. In the first month I could clearly feel medulla and bhrumadhya, but now I barely feel anything anymore. Is it okay to drop the visualization of looking from medulla? I feel like this is blocking my progress. Also, while doing Om Japa, I can only ever feel two or three of my chakras. It's different each time. The root chakra I can feel very cearly. And the others, if I can feel them, it's very vague. Then in spinal breathing I can only feel the energy moving with some blind spots and no chakras. The first weeks there was some improvement but then nothing. The book says if you can't feel the chakras, return to Om Japa. Should I drop spinal breathing and just do Om Japa? I'm afraid it would take a very long time to feel the chakras. Does anyone know another helpful technique for becoming aware of the chakras?