Zweistein

@MrDmitriiV I love mantras, too! Check out those I posted in "my" journal in the other forum section.

My daughter has been wanting to go to this new playground to build sandcastles and play soccer with other kids (it's been a while since we played last time). At the playground, "I" was managing quite well to stay as present as possible in time/space. Slowing down the wild monkey mind ... it has been way too busy in the past couple of weeks. Almost felt like hundred monkeys having a party "jumping in the head" ?

Shoju Rojin, the master, admonished Hakuin that he must go forward with “continious and unremitting devotion to hidden practice, scrupulous application.” When Hakuin asked what this meant, Shoju retorted, “It certainly doesn’t mean sneaking off to some mountain and sitting like a block of wood on a rock or under a tree ‘silently illuminating’ yourself. It means immersing yourself totally in your practice at all times and in your daily activities – walking, standing, sitting, or lying down…. Practice concentrated in activity is a hundred, a thousand, even a million times superior to practice done in a state of inactivity.” In "Nothing is hidden" by Barry Magid

Do I take 100% responsibility for where I'm at? Yes.

The last days were quite tough for me. I took a closer look at concepts like the deadly sins, the enneagram and the Johari window/blind spot. Which in turn, leads to contemplating a whole lot of other things as well (Maslow's pyramide of needs, meditation & other habits, life purpose & planning, spiral dynamics - which parts did I leave out in my development, etc.). Looks like I have some work to do. I will be back to the books for a while....

Interesting concept regarding communication ? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four-sides_model Starting to understand why buddhist monks are so quiet. Is that the smartest approach to life though? Ignoring the fact that one has a voice? Well, the more I learn about communication, the less I want to say.... Maybe this little story for now: This morning when I walked along the river, I saw a young girl (quite drunk) along with 3 guys (quite drunk as well). She seemed really annoyed actually by what the guys were saying to her, but still she didn't make an effort to go away. Maybe she didn't know where-else to go or what-else to do. Maybe there was a miraculous feeling of belonging. Then I saw a homeless guy pushing a shopping cart, looking for empty bottles in the trash bins. I told him that today is a good day and gave him a 10 Euro bill. Can we save all the star fishes that washed up on the beach? No, but when an opportunity presents itself, I choose to make a tiny difference in someones life.

Here is another green one ? Have fun at the military @Basegodmike!

Once someone dreams a dream, it can't just drop out of existence. But if the dreamer can't remember it, what becomes of it? ~Michael Ende in "Neverending story" ~

Well, was it a specific "guy" or another kind of underlying "problem" launching the rocket? Hmmm, and now what? Lot's of silence, self-reflection, observing/learning, focusing on health and finding an equilibrium balance ....

If you look closely, you can see me "running away" (from the fear) - from my first world (under water), into the next (avoiding my parents, who sit and watch TV ;), flying up with the smoke of the chimney to sit on the Moon for a while (using it as swing even) - watching and observing, before realizing that I didn't run away from fear - I actually decided to dive right into it. Twirling into emptiness.

Is there a difference between dogs and puppets? ? But, yeah - doesn't it feel like it all makes so much freaking sense all of a sudden? ? And isn't it totally hilarious in a way? I agree, the result is compassion. An incredible amount of compassion!

@tsuki oh - another mind virus to stay stuck in the head? ? Gotta admit, it's a good one though ... all the things that "we" do to avoid emptiness. When will "we" be done behaving like dogs? ?

~The end~ (which is the beginning of a new adventure, which will be told another time) Thank you, @Leo Gura and sorry for all the nasty projections & the scapegoating.

It's freaking insane! I have no more words for what happened... I painted this in 2006 in my journal and now I understand ?

When I'm fully aware, I notice my victim behavior immediately after thinking/writing/seeing it. When I'm not, it takes just a little meditation after a good night of sleep ? And then I find myself back (almost) at the same "place" where I started: There is nothing to do and nowhere to go. And yet, I will be heading to work. Helping several ten-thousands of people who are currently still suffering.

need!!! ;-) Sorry, that was mean. Yeah, let's evolve a bit!

In my humble opinion, it's not just "who" but it's also "what" keeps women and men, but also L/G/B/T, minorities and even others (e.g. physically disabled) from doing what they want. It's an interplay between evolution, genetics, birth place, childhood traumas, social conditioning, culture and laws.

@TomDashingPornstar What do you get as answer when you contemplate it?

Hmm, interesting - why did you think you need to help me?

@Tom Daniel D How many teams are there working productively on the most pressing issues to be solved? If we consider how few people make it to get to yellow/turquoise and how long it will take until "enough" people get there - I guess it's quite easy to lose hope sometimes, isn't it? At the same time, of course, everything is perfect as it is.... But I also wonder, if "we" artificially (?) speed up the process (e.g. by pushing "our" personal development in environments like actualized.org), what will be the drawbacks/pitfalls, if missing parts of lower stages are not fully integrated? And then consider this combined with childhood traumas/shadows that are not fully worked through? But yeah, obviously, it's not neccessary to worry so much about the future - but sometimes it's interesting to speculate a little. Have you seen Leo's video about collective ego?

You FEEL. That's not observable reality. I personally feel paranoid about a lot of things but I recognize them as paranoia. You are greatly increasing the problem by using these fake gendered names, because in fact you can use a female one and stop blaming others about it. In the west we can all take you seriously, you just have to take responsibility for your actions and words, and stop blaming others for "my fake male name". I'm sorry for the rant, I'm on your side but you have to realize that you yourself are enforcing this female stigma. @billiesimon Why would you think I haven't recognized this yet? I totally agree that it's greatly increasing the problem. Just like men who get hung up on it, right? Unfortunately, it's too late to change my username now, isn't it? Well, good :-) I guess we can move on then, can we?

Yeah, "I" find it interesting, too. "My" journal just got recontextualized again (at least in "my" head ;-). To "me", it feels like somehow "I" got out of one maze (more or less healing "myself"*) and "I" find "myself" in the next one (realizing that "my" narcissistic/arrogant journal might be considered as (one of many) potential inside threats within this forum that could potentially backfire in ways "I" wasn't aware of when "I" started it. "I" come to this conclusion, when "I" contemplate collective ego and systemic thinking, but "I'm" aware that while "I'm" writing these lines here now "I'm" probably not actually applying systemic thinking yet. Because, jeeze, this is hard and it feels like a huge responsibility. It would feel very selfish to leave the forum now though. Of course, at the same time, "I" could choose not to believe in all these thoughts ....so, I will be off for a while... "emptying myself" ;-) *I know that sounds arrogant again. Just ignore it, if it triggers you. Don't believe anything I say.