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I have a feeling that I'm a nebiew that thinks he is advanced in my self development journey ! I will till you my background story real quick , I think it's inspiring ! I'm 19 years old guy , lives in a third world country which is Egypt , my childhood was really bad , hardcore child abuse verbally and physically , religious Islamic family and culture , family that is fighting all the time about money and about their relationship , I was always doing stuff my entire life externally disciplined and based on the fear of family and the fear of abuse , never had sex or a girlfriend , never worked or made money for my self , I'm smart in my education and was good at school but I think the main reason for that is the external discipline of my family . 2 years ago , I have got into self development , awareness and non duality stuff ,I really studied this stuff , I got into really advanced things and I studied so much , I left islam , I have been meditating and doing consciousness work for 1 year now , I can't describe how it helped me internally , I now accept reality as it is , have a mind peace and inner satisfaction . I feel like I understand life in a deep level , high internally self esteem , acceptance and confidence , I feel fulfilled all the time , I don't have fear or worries any more , "I feel like I don't need to pursue or do stuff any more" . I still live in my family basement with my 4 younger brothers and my low Consciousness family , I still haven't sex , I still don't have a life purpose , so I have a feeling that I went advanced so far and I feel like that feeling of me not driven to do any thing or pursue any thing in life is just trap of my ego to procrastinate on what I should be doing in life to really have a self mastery and an amazing life ! I need your thoughts and help on that .. I would really appreciate it

Thank you guys for your interest and help .. but here is what I have discovered self inquiring about this . The more I accept all aspects of life as me , the more I'm fulfilled and happy but the less driven I'm to do any thing or to pursue any goal. It feels like the more I accept the less change I want to make . Is that normal or is that a paradox and the opposite should happen and I'm deceiving my self ?

there is a lot of holes in my maslow's hierarchy's pyramid .. despite that I feel like I don't need to fill these holes cause I'm already complete ! so my question is , can this be a trap of the lower self to procrastinate or to be stuck in my life , or is that a real early growth , because really I have been meditating and doing consciousness stuff for only 1 year. what if that's just a self deception ??

But when I'm conscious in the now .. every goal seam meaningless and I feel fulfilled within .. I don't know if that is my ego try to make me procrastinate and be lazy .. or that is a real growth that has happened too early in my journey !

In ramadan , muslims fast water and food from sun rise to sun set demanding the order of their god "allah" ! “Fasting is the first principle of medicine; fast and see the strength of the spirit reveal itself.” ― Rumi