Don_Avocado

@Azrael great post - amazing insight.

I couldn't say, I'm not a chemist / biologist, I'm just some idiot absorbing the wisdom of others . On a serious note though, in my own experiments I've found that direct experience can put an end to intellectual grasping... whether or not there is a lasting chemical change I do not know... I feel more easy having received some answers, if that makes sense.

I'm working on it, one dose at a time

I think it would be too early for me to comment on that - I will be posting something on this a month or two after achieving a breakthrough state. However, I will so short term effects at lower doses have been noticeable. I think when you experience something directly, it doesn't matter what your previous beliefs or ideas were about something, they will either be validated or shattered so to speak. I don't want to mistake a state for the truth, but I am currently experiencing reduced uncertainty about goals I have set for myself. There's also a noticeable amount more self-confidence having seen that my death is not the end and this is all only temporary. I also have a bit of a clearer head and more of a mindful state over the past few days, and have been better able to relax and enjoy the subtle beauty of all things in life.

@Snick Hello my friend; not a problem, hopefully my experiences are helpful to you. I can see quite clearly from my experience with 5-MeO-DMT why some people have such bad trips, as per this and previous reports. I really do recommend some prior work, particularly meditation. This is not a magic pill so to speak, especially if the user is a novice to consciousness work. I think it's good to go with your intuition, and when you feel you understand what it means to let go experientially, then by all means try the substance... but as I have done, build it up gradually. In regards to life purpose, do not confused this with consciousness work. In my experience, life is completely without meaning, yet don't take this as a negative - be mindful of your ego snapping you back to that depressive conclusion - it's only your conditioning that leads you to believe that you NEED "meaning", and to be without it is to suffer. If life is without inherent meaning, and our true nature is infinite, then what does this actually mean to us as human beings? It means we are the architects of meaning in our lives; we choose our purpose. You need to do some inquiry into your association of lack of "meaning" and suffering. Yes, everything we do in this life is temporary and will inevitably be taken from ourselves and the wider world by death, entropy etc... but this is LIBERATING... to me, it seems like you're holding a mental dichotomy with consciousness work on one side, and life purpose work on the other. Do not be tossed between these two wretched extremes. That's just more ego. Whilst you are here in this life, you have a chance to spread your message and do your work; but you have to stay conscious of the truth. You will always rest easy knowing that you are already complete & part of the totality of the universe. You can end your mental suffering; but only if you can hold LOOSELY to your conceptual ideas & beliefs. You can significantly reduce your attachments to thinking without ending your life purpose work. Maybe you also need to question the motives of your life purpose; is there a craving & desire to be seen in a certain way? Or are your motives totally authentic & meaningful to YOU?

@WaveInTheOcean link to the Spotify album below - Quiet Night Meditation - very calming, very helpful when coming into the trip.

Azrael, this bit really helped me with my 23mg trip on 5-MeO-DMT... "fuck me man, this is nuts"... the experience of becoming infinite, but then being birthed back into a body & mind, and then exploding out again, multiple times... the way our ego whips our experience into something navigable, understandable & tangible is unfathomable. And fuck me, it doesn't let go easily. Amazing post, please keep sharing your experiences.

Hello all, If you're reading this fresh, then I recommend you read my previous two posts on my experience with 5-MeO-DMT. As I have discussed in previous posts, 5-MeO-DMT is the only psychedelic I have ever used. My only preparation for usage of this substance has been 1 year of vipassana meditation practice, and careful study of non-duality / psychology texts. On this occasion, the setting was a quiet morning at home alone. I felt slightly nervous going into this experience today, as my previous experience (second experience) had been so utterly bizarre... nonetheless, I was calm and ready. I queued up some meditation music, and this time I weighed out 23mg of the substance, split into 2 lines, insufflated into each nostril and laid back. Following advice given by other members in the forum, I rested with my head upside down for 10 minutes, gently massaging the substance into my nostril. This trip was different. My pulse went through the roof and my breathing appeared to come to a stop. I now fully understand why some people experience such a bad trip using this substance; unless you're fully ready to let go and accept your own death (yes, this is really what it feels like), then you may just end up in your own self-constructed, self-perpetuated hell. When people say nothing can prepare you for what you will experience during the "come on", pay no attention. It can be scary, but you have to be mindful that it is simply your ego kicking and screaming as it is pushed out of existence (temporarily). You can prepare for the come on through (in my experience) vipassana meditation. I also recommend reading and contemplating some non-duality texts. I've also found that meditation music can help you get through the "come on" - I find it very effective to turn this off once you're into the full trip (if you can!). As my pulse shot up, and my breathing appeared to subside, I indeed felt some fear; I also felt slightly nauseated. I could either perpetuate that fear, and enter a world of existential horror, or I could allow it to be; let go of my mind and body - accept my death, so to speak. I went with the latter. The first stage of this trip, I experienced the same sexual energy that I had in my 16mg trip; I was pure sexual energy. My whole experience was permeated by this state that I can only allude to as orgasm... Although this time around, the state did not endure - I went a level deeper. I realised my true self - the infinite observing consciousness of the entire universe; although, I call this a "semi-breakthrough" experience, as some awareness of my grasping ego remained. I'm sure with a slightly higher dose (30mg) will probably push me that final step further. None of you would believe the extent to which our egos shape our material existence. Seriously, it's unfathomable. Our true nature is totally empty; it's perfect, blissful & infinite. I spent maybe 10 minutes (although it felt infinitely longer) in this state (mostly), observing the ego and the body flickering in and out of existence. Toward the back end of this experience, I had a number of experiential and intellectual realisations. Our human life is like a "glove" of the universe; a veneer that exists only to be aware of itself. It's hard to explain. Our ego literally throws our sensory perceptions into a navigable matrix of sorts - human life is but a game, and we have infinite possibilities. Our suffering is optional. I experienced this directly. What we have here guys is a gift. As I came down from the experience, I experienced myself literally "coming down", as if I was being birthed into a new form... My body and breath came back into experience... I felt awareness gently permeating each part of my body, as if I was being "filled up" from nothingness. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I opened my eyes and looked at my hand; it was like I had never seen it before. I immediately knew that my purpose here in this life was to do the work of what I know to be god - to experience myself fully - to do subjective good in the world - to help alleviate the suffering of others. This life is all temporary - don't take it too seriously. There is NOTHING to go after... I say this in an experiential and intellectual sense. The intellectual sense is easy to get, but the experiential sense is difficult - this is what 5-MeO-DMT is truly useful for. When you realise your true nature, your attachments and neuroses' in this human life will begin to crumble - the question is whether you're psychologically mature enough to take this blow.

Hello all, If you haven't already, please take the time to read my initial post on my first experience with 5-MeO-DMT (12mg). After getting some advice from more experienced psychonauts on the forum (coming to this a complete novice), I have adjusted my insufflation technique; this trip was far, far stronger than before. I have to stress the importance of coming into this psychedelic with a mindset that is totally ready to let go; this includes being in the right environment - safe, warm, quiet and secure - any potential psychological insecurities / neuroticism you will want to satisfy as best you can before using the substance. This dose I took knowing I would have people over in 2 hours or so; this thought in the back of my mind (I believe) prevented me from making the most of this experience... though, it was still mind blowing... Proper insufflation and higher doses (this time 16mg) make an unfathomable difference. This time, perhaps 10 minutes in, the trip hit me full on... I find it quite hard to recall given that there was literally no thought at the time. I was lying back, head off my bed, allowing the substance to gently do it's work... The next thing I know, the boundaries of my body were exploding; the mind was extinguished completely. I can't explain the consciousness that I felt, but it was far beyond anything I have ever experienced during meditation. I knew myself to be the consciousness of the universe; this was experienced directly. I was no longer aware of bodily processes, such as breathing etc... it was truly bliss. You really have to allow this to happen; there's no use panicking. I found my vipassana practice to be crucial in this process. This was not such a gentle experience as my first trip... after being punched in the face by this universal consciousness, my reality (for lack of a better description) went into orgasm... that's all I can allude it too. My entire reality lit up with sexual energy - imagine the very peak of one of your more intense orgasms, and imagine that pleasure enduring for over a minute... my nervous system lit up like a Christmas tree... no word of a lie, I felt that I had ejaculated, and a light scent of bodily sweat pervaded my experience... though I still had no tangible sense of a body... These feelings were coming for no particular spacial location; they were all I knew at the time. The trip got stronger... at this point, I became aware of the fragility of my human body. I could perceive my sensory experiences, but again they were located in no particular spacial location. I was universal consciousness, and there was no room for the body or the mind. I felt as if my body and mind were being squeezed; I felt like they would explode under the pressure - it felt like they would break apart and disintegrate. I knew to go further I would have to be completely ready to let go; I would have to surrender into death, and then burst into infinity... I did not do this. A nagging thought in my mind kept me from going with it fully - people would be coming around later - what if I'm still in this state when they arrive? I had no idea what my body might be doing in this moment... was I writhing around... was I covered in ejaculate... was I screaming... these all seemed possible at the time. Although I had these worries, I didn't identify with them or let them consume the experience; I merely held this state. It was not the time to burst right then. It was all very intense. I can't describe the love and pleasure inherent to the state I was in... although that boundary between that state and surrendering into the unknown (into death) was seemed pretty formidable. I must stress again the importance of being in the right environment for this! No distractions. You feel truly vulnerable in this state, as if your soul was bare and naked for the universe to see. It felt as if all those whom I were close to where there, watching me in this naked confusion... it was that weird feeling you get when someone walks in on you doing something you shouldn't be... I didn't know where I was... You just have to go with this; are you ready to expose yourself; to be 100% vulnerable? I thought I was going to vomit as this consciousness tried to force my body and mind into submission... then I felt something strange... the sensation of warmth and fur in what I assumed was my hand. I thought I had been alone in my room; somehow my cat had been sitting under the bed without me knowing... I opened my eyes, and there she was staring me straight in the face... she curled up, purring next to me... I'd never realised before how calming her presence was... we can learn a lot from cats; truly enlightened beings. It was almost as if her calm and vacant expression was coercing me into surrender. Her gentle presence was soothing. All I know in this moment was love. That's all there really is... I'm sure of that now... love, universal consciousness, whatever you want to call it. As the experience began to fade... it was if I was awakening for the first time; seeing my room through new eyes... what the fuck had happened? Had it really only been 20 minutes?.. I (the ego) had not died, yet I knew life wouldn't be the same again - it was like rebirth. The vulnerability felt during the trip lasted for at least another 20 minutes; a very confused and 'grasping' state. I felt ok to walk at this point. I got up and was glad to find that I had not ejaculated, and I was not dripping with sweat... my throat was hoarse so I have no idea what had happened there - I assume there was some drip from the substance, as surely the cat would have gone mad if I had been shouting / screaming... I put some music on for a bit, and just laid back with the cat in my lap, stroking her & being with the music... this was great. After an hour or so from insufflation, I went for a walk outside. I live near a beautiful canal - and walking down this I truly saw the beauty nature. The shimmering water, refracting the red/purple sunset hue; crunching autumn leaves under foot; the trees blowing, and the gentle wind upon ones face. As per my first post, I must stress again that there is NOTHING to pursue... (explanation) In these experiences, the strength of all attachments to conceptual things (i.e. the ego, perceived objects of reality, thoughts etc) is reduced; ultimately, I expect these attachments are surrendered (let go of) entirely as we surrender into them - although that requires conceptual death... I don't think anything can prepare a person for that - there's no room for panic - only bravery & acceptance. I hope when I do break through that barrier, I am able to do so with some dignity. The presence of "things" in our reality is a comforting reminder that we are alive; you have to let go of it all to experience God - I see what Leo & others are talking about now... Has anyone got any advice on breaking through? 16mg was insane... what do I need be be mindful of in stepping up my dosage? Would it be wise to hang fire and have another few rounds at this intensity? The world seems pretty perfect right now.

@Azrael @Leo Gura thanks guys, really appreciate the tips - I did hang up heat upside down over the side of my bed for 10 or so minutes, but I did keep snorting it in what I imagined was "deeper"... is that also a problem? I imagine a lot of the substance did go straight down my throat in that case ... to confirm, the trick is to get the substance up there gently, hang my head of the bedside upside down, gently massage in the substance in AND don't snort the substance any further once up there... correct?

@Travis @Feeble Dave Hey guys. Correct, no real prior experience with any psychedelics. The only significant experience I have had before was drugs was weed (2-3 years regular smoking)... obviously this did in no way prepare me for this. Like I mention in my initial post, I am in this purely to supplement my meditation practice; I had never considered psychedelics a genuine aid to this practice (always associated psychedelics with hallucinations etc). Leo'a video changed this for me; as I started looking into it this was the first time I learned about the "void" etc. in literature... this was a bit of an "aha" moment for me... I actually had experienced this state in meditation in January 2016 (discussed in original post). For me personally, my strict meditation practice as well as contemplative nonduality reading was my only preparation. At this point in my practice, I know what it is to let go... all those reservations you have in your head about the drug are just that. I think if you were ready, you'd have a gut feel - if that makes sense. Having experienced the boundaries of my body fade in meditation, and my awareness expand, gave me a lot of confidence when reading the trip reports... i can't say I've experimented with higher doses yet (and probably won't be for a few weeks), nor can I say I've optimised my snorting technique (Leo's post above), but still what I experienced on 12mg was similar (as predicted) to that which I had experienced in meditation. One worry I did have though was that I'd slip into an unconscious where maybe I'd start shouting or screaming or something ridiculous like you read in the bad trip reports. To mitigate this worry, I did this in an empty detached house, in the middle of the night (I feel calmest around the ). In lieu of an experienced trip sitter, I did this alone. My advice; be patient - don't rush into doing it. Find somewhere where you can feel cosy, comfortable, warm, safe and secure. Put your mind to rest as best you can. Get an accurate set of mg scales. Start with a very small dose 1-2mg. Then 5mg. Then 10mg. Don't jump straight into the heavy weights just in case!! Once it's snorted be ready to say "fuck it, I've done it, let's go with whatever happens". Let whatever you experience happen. Have a sick bucket ready just in case... . Prepare, but at the same time don't stress yourself out about it. If you start off at the shallow end and go into this with some maturity, I'm sure you will be OK. A good and consistent meditation practice and donduality contemplative work is your best long-term prep in my opinion. In regard to the heart question, this simply wasn't a worry of mine, although maybe it should have been... I am very active (ran 10 half marathons this year), and follow a vegan diet... rapid heart beat in exercise is something I'm very used to... my diet also gives me confidence in my heart health. In my experience with the substance, the fast heart beat was noticeable, but nothing on what you might experience say running a steep gradient uphill... although if you're not used to it, i can see why this might freak some people out a lot - particularly if you're in a unusual "trip" state so to speak. I imagine that might feel most unnerving! Hope this helps, like I said before, I'm not an experienced psychonaut by any means... but I would consider myself psychologically stable & mature.

@Capethaz from what I read on that link, that sounds extremely similar to what I experienced....

@Xpansion absolutely, it's all meaningless. I do not condone mindless drug consumption of any kind - if it is to be done, it must be done only experimentally and with education, maturity & awareness... unfortunately, we do tend to get stuck grasping at said experiences from time to time. To become dependent on a psychedelic would be to miss the very essence of the truth. It's right here; we are it. It's transparent and formless, and unfathomably beautiful. It's merely clouded. Psychedelics can be used as a tool help realise the truth, though so can vipassana (as per my first awakening)... but the important thing to remember is that the experience itself, the blissful state, as defined conceptually by the ego is not the truth. It's just another concept. All experiences are meaningless guys. Do not make concepts, goals or ideas out of them.

@John Flores I try not to embellish my experiences; the reason we suffer is because we attach so much meaning to these things. In my experience, the baggage we carry (i.e. anxieties, depression) is perpetuated by our attachments; we're just not conscious of them. You can be free my friend; I hope this substance can help you to remove the blinders, and see the true nature of reality... although you can get there without it (my opinion - see previous posts above).

Hey pal... who knows... In my experience, 5-MeO-DMT simply suppresses the ego (at at least makes it translucent) for a short period of time via chemical change. Alone this does nothing; it leaves us confused as to what just happened (i.e. ego death)... Though for those of us with a reasonable intellectual understanding of previously mentioned topics (main post), (I believe) we can comprehend said experiences, understanding them intellectually (relating them to the literature out there) as well as experientially. I think it's important (although not essential) that both aspects (experiential and intellectual) are satisfied - again, in my experience, the ego loses strength when intellectual conclusions are drawn, with the appropriate experiential evidence from our own experience to validate said conclusions. I believe our insight into the truth (and it's immediacy) develops, as our ego loses strength. Just my hypothesis; don't take it for gospel - i'm not claiming to be enlightened, this is simply what has been working for me recently. 5-MeO-DMT only produces experiences, not enlightenment... albeit, very helpful experiences if we use them for developing insight, and not recreation.