now is forever

that song is a song from the past to the past, that yearns for present in every human connection. reality is often different though - so i try to give words that tell nothing, by saying everything. it‘s also possible to tell everything, by saying nothing. but i don’t know if i could ever learn that without talking.

we continued the conversation here...

uuuups how did we change threads... awareness sometimes lingers.

@tsuki ok guess what, i like that complexion now. maybe because i looked into the mirror. also i have another definition for cassandra complex. there is only cassandra syndrom until now. who says troy will fall over and over again? maybe we just change it to another oracle. @Zweistein = i=you=we have/had/has an idea ?

@tsuki now i‘m confused about what you want to say. arg sorry i wrote and didn’t see preetoms post. mmmmhhhhh yes the human is nothing as long as the human is not a human. our worth is relative to our perception, our worth is relative to our behavior. i mean not to judge others with it, but to judge ourselfs with it. but not in the sense of punishing ourselves - but giving ourselves the chance to learn.

what is the difference between prophecy and prediction . emptyness of expectation to perfection or to preconception of perfection. wabi sabi my mind knows that, my heart sometimes not. it just loves perfection mostly wabi sabi perfection.

yeah that’s my problem sometimes. it‘s now or never also, forever.

@tsuki could you exchange the perception from body is the mind to understand: mind is the body? just turn it around. because it’s all one, so who controlls who? if you manage to not suppress from above and tell the body ok you are equally to me we are democratically connected i just try to manage your problems. or maybe you even tell the body to manage the mind for some time? who is breathing you? who makes the time for you? think of momo... time is not in the mind, it’s in your heart. and a heart wants to bloom. the heart lies in the little gestures. a smile, a flower, a butterfly. a wish to see and create beauty in the moment. but this beauty is not emptyness it is love.

@tsuki you are a mind person? energy gathered mostly in the mind. it means you need to pursue a body connection. you fed your mind but you need to connect it to your body. accepting the body - feeling it. i always had problems with my skin being to perceptive - so i get glowing outlines. there is a difference between prophecies and alarming conception. i just feel if a situation is likely to trip. call it the kassandra komplex. sometimes i‘m overly anxious - but then it usually is because someone turns the direction and throws their action in.

how would you feel if i told you i could feel your tension, when you first started the topic about recontextualisation. i got a real bad headache from it talking about third eye, triangles and diamonds. and in that sense tilaks. even just now i feel a burning sensation just talking about it.

@tsuki ok i‘m going to read it, now. it wasn’t that i didn’t like your answer back then - just that i had an internal agenda. you know about kali yuga? a prophecy wich is not so far fetched. i didn’t know about it then - but it somehow matches how i perceive our world. what happens if belief systems seem to overlap so perfectly, that all signs point to only one direction?

@tsuki toooooooo unbelievable to talk about it. and still i‘m clinging to possibilities. triangle shapes and flowers, being a bodhisattva, seeing my prana body, opening the heart chacra, checking out chaos theory, the mysticism of the templers, well maybe enlightenment, maybe psychosis. all in hd. this forum felt like burning hell at some point before that happened. tsuki - you talked to me then, you know what i mean, the bodhisattva thing. guess i‘m a tomato. ? my phantasy is hd is that enough? and some of the things that happened - are highly irrational, more than coincidental. how can the mind know things in advance? and you? what happened to you?

@tsuki interesting! yes i bought one that’s called condensed chaos - didn’t read it yet, just had a look. mhhhh i think it’s kind of dangerous though to use chaos magic online... might be a trap for some people - i think it‘s important to give proper support - and you need to know a lot about the symbols you use. well didn’t we have a situation like that in may? at least i had... and that was no joke! just talking about it is no joke - the www is a universe of beliefs you can get your brain washed in the wrong way. sometimes i‘m not sure if i get it all together ever again, like some others here. not that i didn’t find out a lot of interesting stuff about me and a new approach to the world - but... did you ever hear something about the helsinki syndrom, sometimes i don’t know if it’s more like that

@tsuki i love spoilers... but only if it is not counterproductive for you! if it is, you could make it an exclusive... you won’t become an acupuncturist/tattoo artist will you?

life for me just goes in circles - same situations appearing again and again. whatever happens i try to react to it in a centrifugal way - i throw in what ever answer i have to the actual moment. but the center of this circle timewise/thoughtwise is going into one direction. it’s somehow impossible to go with the body into one direction and with the mind into another and with the dreams into another. so in this model (psychological)time is linear and it stands still if there is no defined aim. if i concentrate onto general awareness i can’t concentrate on a specific situation that leads me to a goal because the goal is general awareness. if i want to stay focused i need to shut off myself from everything else or ignore it. and even then i need to focus on the goal first and stick with it. that‘s difficult for someone who wants to work in every direction of his or her life. especially if one stays open to every wave that comes from the outside. because well even if the mind works on multiple solutions parallel how can the body or the hands do. so while the models, concepts are circling around a center, like planets around a star/sun in parallel circles (maybe i should see it more 3dimensional) in my model (matrioshka model). in the model of body mind soul world unity - it is a little different. mind and soul seem aligned but the body always has to follow into that direction, so if i‘m working on contemplation or even on writing down insights i always have to do that physically - if i read, i have to do that physically - if i want to build something i have to do that physically. but that implies, i can’t do other stuff that’s also on my list at the same time. that’s one of my challenges - well i unlearned to focus on one goal alone. obviously to relearn it differently now. sometimes i am a really bad scholar because i only want dynamic models - i have a problem to fit myself into squares - and if i do, i‘m dancing. yesterday i heard that song in a cafe and remembered how i used to listen to it some years ago - that’s the kind of scholar i’ve always been, it‘s also a thanks to my parents especially my mom (i mean that in a positive way) even though it is a little bit of a tragedy sometimes. it totally changes it‘s meaning if i set it into a non romantic context. i would maybe also take out the second verse. maybe my english is just too lose. In a manner of speaking I just want to say That I could never forget the way You told me everything By saying nothing In a manner of speaking I don't understand How love in silence becomes reprimand But the way that I feel about you Is beyond words Oh give me the words Give me the words That tell me nothing Oh give me the words Give me the words That tell me everything In a manner of speaking Semantics won't do In this life that we live We only make do And the way that we feel Might have to be sacrificed So in a manner of speaking I just want to say That like you I should find a way To tell you everything By saying nothing Oh give me the words Give me the words That tell me nothing Oh give me the words Give me the words That tell me everything Oh give me the words Give me the words That tell me nothing Oh give me the words Give me the words That tell me everything

hahaha

guess i just like getting lost in chaos - even though it doesn’t feel like chaos, it all makes sense.

today i took a stroll around my new quarter - i love it. it’s very chaotic democratic sometimes brutal sometimes beautiful all next to each other (a last reserve) i bought a book of rosa luxemburg - „being a person is especially the main thing“. for history like that berlin is a huge museum - history everywhere. there is a rosa luxemburg square in another quarter. later i also found my favorite contemporary bookstore ever, right around the corner of my home. i really want to do more meditation but i also find so many other new knowledge that helps me to link to great thinkers of the past and the now. i guess i‘m only stretching the meaning of now from the blink of an eye to the space i‘m walking through. i know it’s a bubble though. and i don’t know when just when should i read the maybe 15 other books about yoga, mysticism, psychology, decisionmaking etc. i bought in the last two months.

for the dark tunnel and the fast car - maybe your subconciousness tells you hey i‘m driving in a fast fancy vehicle into the unknown in full speed - question is: where you afraid? how did it feel? what is the dark tunnel? life? subconciousness? spiritual world? reality? past? future? nothingness? maybe both dreams show you a signal that you are working in another mind level where you didn’t bring light, maybe yet? subconciousness just talks to you - tells you it’s aware of it, that’s how i would interprete it.

mhh i don’t know - but the basement could be the subconciousness or the foundation to your beliefs. so maybe your subconciousness tells you you got the map to check out if your beliefs are constructed right - or it tells you what already happened or it tells you what you think that happened... guess it depends on what the temple is. is it your body or your spiritual self or is it the world or is it the world represented in you?

watching the vlog on epistemology and metaphysics right now. and just thought: yeah how to explain someone that time is just the clockwork in the clockwork itself. and that we experience it because we are part of it. but it’s also impossible to not be part of it. and that time is mostly centrifugal and has a wave function. but we perceive it like a camera filming a movie. making it happen through processing. editing it to our needs and acting upon it like we were the center of the world the keeper of truth - and possibly sometimes are. and here it stops for me. and that this is all irrelevant if we let it run through our fingers like sand without properly being aware of its beauty. protecting by all means what still is there to protect. because the system we created plays us like a video game. maybe i should think in cat possibilities again. i’m getting way to rational on this.

@Zweistein so will you let your children face nothingness or awakening when they are grown up? so they won’t fall into the trap? i think i really would want to let them experience that, but in a guided surrounding...or do we need to protect them from growing up too soon? i don’t have children yet, but a god daughter i lived with for some years when she was a tiny.

@tsuki yes well the dog school is not only for the dog... i guess the dog owner learns mutch more about the dog than the dog about the owner... i realized that when i saw how dogs in some cities are very good trained to walk off the line, and in other cities they throw a fit on the line. it can tell you a lot about the cities inhabitants. it is for reflection on why just why everyone thinks we just intuitively know what a child needs and then wonder why they turn out disillusioned, selfdestructive or lemmings. how you said it: it is about the child-child relationship between grown ups and children. maybe we have to teach our inner child first before we can share each other’s company. wouldn’t it be nice to cooperate more, growing little humans. i know it‘s a difficult topic because who should do the teaching? maybe a mixture of philosophers, psychologists, pedagogical teachers etc. how can it be we need a driving license for a non alive car but don’t even need to prove we know the basics about children? did we discuss that already? it is a strangeloop for me. how good we are visiting lifeschool again