now is forever

exactly. thank you. that’s why it’s so important to realize how movies still controll our understanding of love - it’s the manipulative mass instrumentalizing system that makes the conception of alfa male vs beta male work. who says who is the alfa and who is the beta? it depends on what tribe you think you belong to. but in sense of the tribe of the women there is a different perception as for the tribe of the male. if you make it to your family tribe depends on how mutch of a teamplayer you are. if that’s not your goal good luck - you are on your own.

the last one i liked was a german american co production - babylon berlin - it’s a series. not really about relationship though. in that sense, you are right they are getting lesser. and sex is not so mutch the topic anymore - we import that from the us mostly. that was eye opening again. i use to forget that. i can still recommend to watch some of the classics. guess it’s possible to search for movies with subtiles? old enough to do that?

if you don’t know you don’t know - guess you’ve never seen them. but i guess the camera has to stay home, too.

@SFRL huh i want to see your movie ? guess it‘s not an european one? should i give you a list of good european movies? the french and italians basically invented the word love. time to change the evening program.

yes and they don’t care for brain‘s or emotions or companionship, that’s so overrated. having a nice chat understanding each other listening sharing time together, laughing together, doing silly stuff together. just skip that all - it‘s incomparable to a good theory.

so you didn’t delete but added - so if it’s only the femininity i wouldn’t have recommended the being funny part. that leaves you with working on „socially skilled“. and maybe you‘ll find out some other points for your list you weren’t aware of maybe some strengths you already have and weren’t aware of, maybe it’s exactly the being feminin part that could make you socially skilled. if there wasn’t the pussy in the way. so try to stop thinking „pussy“ i bet even though you don’t say it, it shows in your behavior. well it obviously does.

@Pernani what about little figurines. maybe in lotus position or with 4heads, or a lot of arms? plastic, metall and glass. it starts to sound like a business plan.

mh sorry then i‘ve completely misjudged you. sorry for that.

ok - mhhh i don’t know you so i really don’t know, but you can always work on it. and you can work on your way of thinking - the thought alone is poisonous. have a deja vu - did we have the same conversation already? you can still be a social skilled and funny guy.

from your list? of attractiveness. if you look in the mirror and ask yourself why am i not attractive to girls and conclude it doesn’t matter, everything that matters is a pussy. delete what makes you unattractive. and delete it from your list. the thought everything that matters is a pussy - is the most unattractive - it’s most of your list. it doesn’t make you attractive so how can it be attractive to women.

so witch part would you delete?

does that make you attractive?

so what about girls who open up emotionally- isn’t it the same game? then i have to care for her she will trap me she‘s too clingy doesn’t leave me space how should i react to that where is the thrill in that

@Gryner how are you by the way?

@Stenne hehe didn‘t want to stop the conversation though!

guess god made all women equal? to judge them the way he doesn’t want to be judged.

who chose to compete? it’s not that women like competition so much. guys who don’t care for competition are climbing up on the ladder of attractiveness. you only have to compete yourself in that. (paradoxically)

i guess your money issues are solved. ? angel sound from the off. how much for one?

it’s not exactly like that. one problem about guys being to open is: girls love to interprete. we want to have some mystery. at least under 30. after that some other values are more important. also if you can’t open up after 10 years of relationship something went wrong as well. another problem is, if you are opening up emotionally it’s like culture shock - we got so brainwashed by society we are just not used to it. so we think guys might be a problem case and we don’t want to play mom or therapeuts. i always used to run away if guys were to emotional because i need some space for example - i just felt suffocated. so let your emotions out but controlled not all at once. it saves you and her the disappointment. girls love independent guys. also in the beginning phase you both want to make sure if the other person is interesting enough. it‘s like a game where you play with the tension of the thrill. in south korea they call it pull and push - you need phases of approach and phases of distance (but not excessive) so the tension stays alive - if you manage to hold up emotions you can enter a new stage. all of it if it’s not love at first sight. that’s when soulmates meet - but that’s rare.

day one establishing daily rituals: failed to link the cue to the reaction. maybe because it was too dark outside. got depressed the moment i opened my eyes. and quickly closed them again. it’s earlier then usual. maybe it’s better to start with sunrise tomorrow. but i did the pranayama/meditation. that’s what matters

@Hellspeed ok, i was talking about my synesthesia or picture thinking...back of the head. it was about the situation in general - not about myself. getting in „touch“ is a whole new level don’t know if i‘m ready for that.

now i only have to do that: the prove is the prove isn’t it?

whaaaaat - so better focus on the screen in the back? not in this situation. not all of it please! that’s disgusting.

guess i‘m starting being a muse again by honoring others as a muse. thank you at @Action ? for his building habits journal. want to use his method of building habits to do the „garuda“ kumbaka meditation i learned in india. counting to 4 while breathing in stopping the breath counting to 6 breathing out stopping the breath. i‘ll do that with 3 different mudras at three different positions on the knees, in the middle of the thighs and at the hip joints. ??‍♀️ starting tomorrow right after waking up. try to set the timer to one hour (blue hour) before sunrise.

i‘m really impressed by „toilet satori“ and want to throw in tanizaki jun’ichirō‘s „in praise of shadows“ for the question why just why on the toilet.