now is forever

i try to grasp that today

totally forgot: day three: worked very well today - did my breathing right after waking up. and got some ? moon watching on top, as it was still there really huge right outside the window.

@Mikael89 don’t be sorry!♥️

this is because if they focus on that, they are usually triggered by some kind of abusive guys and have had bad experiences, so they long for being treated better but can’t overcome their own addiction. they wish their addiction could be a healthy one but then of course they are addicted to the unhealthy one, because it’s an addiction. same goes for guys in a lot of cases. it’s a circle of needs and wishes - of rejection and acceptance until you find your match. by the way did you ever ask yourself why in old italian movies women like to throw plates or vases? if there wouldn’t be some kind of heat and conflict how could we learn more about ourselves? women have a range of emotions like rubber bands - they want to experience them and train them. that‘s why they like guys who do the same. stoic guys are the best alternative - they seem to controll themselfs.

hey who says death is remote to us? a lot of us here had either an experience of death or a wish for death at some point. and most of us had a way to find out. you think it’s impossible? you are so lonely you think no one understands you - how could anyone else feel this pain and have survived it. you are lonely even when the room is full of people, because you are lonely in your suffering. - as i don’t really know you either you talk about it to just get attention or you are so desperate for love that you really need some help. i recommend you to start with rhodiola. you can‘t come out of this pit alone. you really need help, but a woman alone can’t help you - it would be a really bad relationship. telling you that is out of love for your suffering. but how long do you want us to tell that? until you get the prove, that there is no love? because at some point everyone would give up? reccomend you to open a thread in how to get out of depression! and how to overcome death wish. you will get a lot of love there! find out about it.♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

you see what emotional sucking is? someone who doesn’t want to work on themselves is indeed chanceless in finding love. but that attituded of emotional helplessness in not only unattractive to women - what guy would want a girl that’s depressed to the bone? love is a yes to life not hopelessness. you can pour all your love in and absolute hopelessness still asks for more. break that circle and work on your inner loneliness - that makes you feel lonely even though the world is full of humans. you can‘t feel love that way. so working on emotions always comes first! especially if you have realized something went wrong. maybe it wasn’t even the emotion - but some kind of neediness. working on the neediness is always a good idea to start. what humans fear most is energy vampirism. we usually have an instinct for that.

watching videos after experiencing the topic in the forum is very interesting. love does not always mean sweet talk it also means seeing the need. even though „gross“ for some people... if a girl talks like a guy. hehe sometimes it’s better to let the others do their laundry first.

sorry i always count with at least 100. just think of it, with 50 everything would have been lost. i suggest you to find yourself a good therapist. and work on your problems. you have enough time to fix them.

@Mikael89 you are 50?

if you are a christian you know what your name means don‘t you - find that in yourself! stop being a wrong christ on the cross. jesus didn’t pin himself there. got it? suicide is not the only true choice we ever got - we can also choose to stop abusing ourselfs by choosing life! there is mutch more between life and death than darkness.

can you find a way then in not knowing why but finding out how to know how? because there is no answer to why. (first i thought you where sitting in a wheele chair, fixated) know/how that’s anything you need to change. find out about it. start now.

then name it. you want to be solved but you have to solve yourself. name it. why?

thats why you shitting on us huh? you like to be how you perceive the world. maybe your parents who lough about you are the problem. ever thought about moving out - and if you did, did they move out of you? how can you distance yourself from what’s making you sick if you stick around what’s making you sick.

i noticed that the addiction to information in my case was the start for my online addiction - but i also fed my other addictions for example my tv addiction with it. and i also used it to sift endless information for random ideas to create new ideas - sometimes only for a color, or for material. so everytime the stress level went to high i used to shoot me somewhere else. today i realized that was also because what i was searching for was not available in my direct sourrounding. i was not able to find a cure for my autoimmune illness and i was not able to just find the right products for me because there is tooo much trash everywhere - it’s like if you are going to the supermarket and the shelves are full of junk - then where to find the healthy stuff? ✨online✨ but that world is also full of trash. and even the healthy stuff can turn out an addiction. i noticed also that if i am at a place where all of these needs are available in my direct sourrounding i don’t feed the addiction that much anymore. so that’s where i am now a city where people built spaces and sell more sustainable products and knowledge and inspire each other so what do i need it anymore. i have to detach decondition myself. i know this city is a bubble - but i can only tell other's it’s not yet the perfect bubble and we have to make sure to keep on working on these bubbles and build small bubbles everywhere so we can live healthy again. the darker your bubble the brighter must be the dream! but it must be an achievable one - set your aims high. and work towards it every day. i have a good laundrette now - guess it’s enough to just go there once in a while to get my brain washed. i guess brainloundry is much more fun than moneyloundry.

day two: failed again - but this time i‘m getting more aware of how the cellphone addiction/fixation is conditioned. (i know that it is for a long time, but how exactly it works...) i use it as a bell in the morning and sometimes the first thing i do is grabbing it and look for where i started the day before. depends on where i‘ve ended the loop of infinite input and now output. input/output i know when this codependency started, i know exactly why and where is the problem - but i have to find a solution to stop it - it has become the infinite procrastination loop. meditating now.

@SFRL yes i know what that is a fake person - the opposite of an authentic one. so either you think you are authentic and therefore i must be the fake or i am the authentic and you are the fake. in a non dual world we where both authentic. but what happens if fake is fake and real is real. at least there is fake relationship and real relationship - there is a fake fuck and a real fuck - there is fake orgasm and real orgasm - but i guess a fake will never know... because a fake will always be so selfcentered to not notice. you understand that all of your concepts about women are illusions? that makes you lonely and a pussi yourself if you are pussi fixated. so stop focusing on pussi sand start finding authenticity in yourself. in concentrating on developing yourself and spending time with women for the fun, you will find a pussy some day, but you won’t even notice anymore, because you will see a human.

good point ?.

hahaha - no thanks, just wanted to support you. if i would make them they would have to have a use... could make them of 5meo though, that would maybe go through the roof.

for a world citizen you have quiet a lot of mindboarders. that‘s sad because i know a loooot of dutch people who don’t. actually the ones i know are very open minded. mutch more than germans. so i guess it’s not related to a country.

exactly. thank you. that’s why it’s so important to realize how movies still controll our understanding of love - it’s the manipulative mass instrumentalizing system that makes the conception of alfa male vs beta male work. who says who is the alfa and who is the beta? it depends on what tribe you think you belong to. but in sense of the tribe of the women there is a different perception as for the tribe of the male. if you make it to your family tribe depends on how mutch of a teamplayer you are. if that’s not your goal good luck - you are on your own.

the last one i liked was a german american co production - babylon berlin - it’s a series. not really about relationship though. in that sense, you are right they are getting lesser. and sex is not so mutch the topic anymore - we import that from the us mostly. that was eye opening again. i use to forget that. i can still recommend to watch some of the classics. guess it’s possible to search for movies with subtiles? old enough to do that?

if you don’t know you don’t know - guess you’ve never seen them. but i guess the camera has to stay home, too.

@SFRL huh i want to see your movie ? guess it‘s not an european one? should i give you a list of good european movies? the french and italians basically invented the word love. time to change the evening program.

yes and they don’t care for brain‘s or emotions or companionship, that’s so overrated. having a nice chat understanding each other listening sharing time together, laughing together, doing silly stuff together. just skip that all - it‘s incomparable to a good theory.