now is forever

i also noticed if one thought/feeling /insight arises for example through communication with friends, i really have to start working quickly on it if not i‘m loosing that cloud feeling and can’t integrate it into a plan or model. models usually stick longer and are like maps.

could you find that dude now? maybe facing the love of your past could bring you into presence? i‘ve also talked to gay guys who where attracted to older men in in their late teens, so if you respect their age and will - and don’t go for the extreme young ones... well. if you feel very bothered and are afraid you might not have control over your doing, did you ever read about stereotactic brain surgery? it is changing the network connection in one area of the brain - sexual functions are not affected. i know they are working on that in göttingen germany - so it’s maybe not to far for you ( don’t know if they work with this in the us) guess it’s quiet expensive though. hope you don’t understand that negativeley, just wanted to widen your options. if it really works. some people even go so far to dream of brain surgery induced enlightenment... or get cut open for lesser reasons like a new nose. and transsexuals are going through a lot more work. it’s something else i know but it depends on how people feel well in a social context.

this was a lost game. but as i am playing against myself - it’s impossible to loose so i won‘t stay out completely. but i will reduce it. so i‘ll try to stay out for another week. does that make sense? guess that’s the problem with all addictions. at least a possibility to understand them better. it’s certainly about consistency of presence. but how to stay open minded in presence and consistent in the past with decisions, it can’t be done if the mind doesn’t take controll over presence and that means loosing out on openmindedness. it can only be done with gradual training or incision. and then gradual training after incision. i feel more like in an addiction programme than in monster university.

@Annoynymous mhhh. for your own development yes. for a country it might not matter if an orange stage is based on a multitude of colors understanding your cultural heritage? i‘m a regionalist if it’s about economy - if you still have values don’t loose them but think global. that’s a cultural heritage of europe.

@Annoynymous mhhh complex. are you sure it’s impossible to start with more green values? i know how the discrepancy between the actual situation and green is. think about some cultural knowledge and how green export could be a way. you see how problematic orange can get if it’s strictly orange...

@Annoynymous well in sense of economics spiral. i assume that you want to go up into orange through economics? because you talked about evolving. just had a picture of the small part i‘ve seen of india in my mind. and wanted to know if there are similarities - it’s a preconception, but maybe a helpful one.

@Annoynymous is bangladesh comparable with india? sorry i don’t know much about bangladesh. even though it’s the 8th biggest country’s in the world...

@TomDashingPornstar how did we come from french revolution to here? the french also had a phase on lolita complex. but french revolution was not exactly a sexual revolution.

in steiner schools they do internships related to age and development stages. some of these are in the social field, for example in 8th or 9th grade (counting from 1 to 12). these experiences are not about sexuality but they relink to reality and form a more down to earth understanding.

@Zweistein ohh, mh. i don’t know if that’s the answer to what was talked about after you posted the educational stuff. but it’s kind of a way to get them to use preservatives at least. chaos queen

@Serotoninluv guess she didn’t talk about discussions, only. but she also didn’t vote for touchunderstanding. well maybe some back massage classes with mixed gender, could be an option. maybe not, maybe separated gender. at least getting some tools.

oh - hope no one got confused. i was talking about teenager education. pedophily is another loop. i guess my thoughts on the problem are more radical so i don’t tell them.

in that sense - sexual education is maybe not completely outdated... question is if it would be sufficient in school? in a blue country it reeks more like biology class, the contrary of sex appeal. so maybe the diy field could get interesting for some people...who don’t watch porn and are in green moving to yellow. a slightly exhibitionistic predisposition could be of advantage.

@Etherial Cat he wants to say porn is an aggression release. he thinks it’s better to release sexual aggression in porn than to go out fulfilling these needs with the next best woman walking around the corner. @CreamCat the problem about that thought is an educational one though if we talk about aggressive porn. coming along with an industry and the problem of media stretching into an do it yourself field. what makes it criminal again.

@Annoynymous good luck! my english is more a denglish. guess yours is better . so maybe all transitions are intersections, if you look over the shoulder.

@Annoynymous mhh yes. well i think french revolution was an incision - because it was a radical shift, but it backlashed. green revolution was a transition with certain revolutionary aspects it also backlashed but less strong and it was a rolling stone. agree with you on the measurement part. i didn’t count in the vietnam war though what was certainly an intersection, as all wars are incisions - whatever they might produce.

(back to topic) really liked the sliced bread analogy what about to see a revolution more as an incision, a more peaceful revolution more as a transition and an evolvement as a transformation?

i really need to pause this because i guess i grasped it all. staying here would be an endless prolongation of not being in the physical space and that is growing over my head if my focus doesn’t return to it. had a very interesting and enlightening time here though. and met a lot of nice people on the surface of my phone some also met me on theirs. everything that counts is meeting at the heart though. and i‘m a person who likes reality too much to play mindgames on a phone - maybe i can start to play them in real physical reality now. i‘ll start with one week of staying out.

yeah that’s where all the enlightened folks sit, until they start reading.

by the way - today is memorial day for breaking down walls. ⭕️ it belongs to everyone.

day 10: woke up at 4:30 did my survival breath and went to sleep again for two hours. later i did some kriya btw kundalini against addictions (in europe they use both interchangeable for some of the practices). and the cleansing breath. guess that makes up for skipping yesterday. also i cleaned out the bowl that served as an ashtray. brew a ginger tea (i let it sit until it’s spicy) and decided to donate the remaining cigarettes to some punks on the streets - or maybe to one of the junkies around the corner someone who is addicted to cigarettes and can’t afford it so they don’t have to smoke the ends from the streets. although it’s not a good deed i can sympathize with smoking addictions why should i throw them away then? and it will still feel more like an end to smoking.

just realized i stretch the meaning of some words to describe phenomena very widely and think people would understand all the possible meaning behind it... @Zweistein made me attentive of the building your existential vocabulary video... and even though i did that already i always tried to grab the meaning, i never tried to learn phrases, maybe i have to look it up again - or i just make a list of my favorite words and write down my own explanation and then look up where i agree with classic definitions... the problem with definition is - there are so many different definitions for example for “psychology” in the end you are helpless because they all say something different related to their school and field. either you try to pack them all together or you list them underneath each other - but then you still don’t know exactly what they mean if you didn’t go deeper into the field - and whoop you’re lost again in the meantime you wrote a whole book about the meaning of psychology... but that makes it all so much more blurry- and then you can’t use the word for other stuff anymore - for example understanding narcissism related to ego or codependency as a general phenomenon instead of an illness. so i like cognitive maps much more than listing...

day 9: already skipped it. to many dreams i had to reflect on. tomorrow is a new day.

if you want to understand it in sense of what we are playing with, you might want to have a look on how contemporary art sees the contemporary reality of it: https://www.google.de/search?q=boris+pramatarov&client=safari&hl=de&prmd=inv&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwismI-zkefdAhUBwAIHHRFBB_cQ_AUIDygB&biw=375&bih=553 maybe it has some catharsis effect (be aware that it‘s from a male view, i made the mistake trying to see it from a woman’s view, but as it is subjective to a male i can only see what kind of role the woman plays from that perspective)