now is forever

@lmfao no, of course the question was not if you can feel your thoughts. never mind. the story of my grany was kind of hard on me. helplessness is suffering too. but it doesn’t change that someone has to help.

@lmfao i understood that. but can you feel it?

@tsuki one of my grandmas had altsheimer disease - i was around six when she died. i can remember how she used to pull out her fake teath and we made her do that over and over again because she forgot all the time she had already showed us. (it was really so cute) shortly before she died she could not even turn herself around anymore. i‘m sure she couldn’t remember anything from the past anymore - but i‘m also sure every moment she suffered must have been the infinite suffering, as only this moment would exist for her. (for the ones who think of the nazi story. she had 9 children and lived on a farm close to the netherlands boarder, my grandfather didn’t have to go to war because of the farm, he also was not in the party they tried to stay out of it, would it had made a difference if it was otherwise? for me certainly not)

@lmfao that is, because suffering is not a thought. if we could be aware of that. but with help of the thought, you can either escape it and push it back for backlash, or you can try to solve it.

@Strikr so would i. but they have also been human. that‘s the most scary thing of all.

which are we pinning?

@Strikr and you? if he wouldn’t have been in germany? or if you would have been in germany? there have also been french fascists. like italians etc. so how easy is it to see only the „good“ résistance side and identify with that? is that scary?

yeah really no joke - some of us can’t close their eyes. if you want to you are welcome to open yours as well.

i didn’t find a movie about german neo nazis, in english. but maybe be aware, that from a german middle non conservative perspective, all right nationalists are neo nazis in a way, pretty scary, a lot of them don’t show it like this guy. in germany they even have image and style consultants sometimes you can’t even see it on the first sight. though they do look less scary now, it’s pretty difficult to love them. on this website you can find a video about how they dress like today, and about a nazi style consultant, veeeery scary. it’s in german though. http://m.spiegel.de/video/spiegel-tv-ueber-nazi-mode-video-99018867.html

very scary, for me, cat videos: it’s a little easier to love them though. and maybe a good recommendation instead of porn.

the second villain was born in 1930 he is from italy, his father died during bombardment, he grew up alone, he killed the first person with the age of 19. he was a leader of the cosa nostra „the leader of the leaders“ his name was salvatore riina, he died in 2017.

what about this one - i don’t know what they really are singing. maybe it’s a joke, maybe not.

@Shin that was kind of scary, too. so the first villain without identity is indeed hitler. scary mh - you never know what a child might turn out into.

@Shin buh, no one there.

@Shin come on - that’s the most scary stuff for you? if i look into the mirror?

@Strikr if it’s muted it’s funny, kind of. goosbumps.

this is from 1995:

or this one?

@Hellspeed ?

i doubt that everything is exactly as it should be, i doubt that. how can anybody think that way who maybe has experienced dachau or buchenwald or hiroshima or was abused, raped sold, tortured, genocided. the country i live in is historically linked to many of these deeds and the history of this country is a ghost inside of me as well as the history of the people who fought against it. but so are all other countries involved in the history of racism and war and killing - excuse me if that sounds moralizing - but you can not understand what love is if you don’t accept that you are a parttaker of every suffering. i doubt that it should be that children mine for rare earth by burning our electronic trash without gas masks. we are the villains. i hope you can love me for that because i can’t.

@mandyjw it sounds like there is a lot of neglected space to use where you are living at. is there no one to bring some life into old industry?

The evidence of absence is the lack of a brain and a nervous system. there is no evidence of absence, a tree doesn’t have a nervous system, it is the nervous system. and if you are not conscious of what makes your brain work - then you can’t be conscious of the sentience of how you communicate with yourself all the time.