now is forever

maybe the question is: what’s the difference between the muh and the mu.

but then this picture (though it was once standing for itself without an ox) at this moment could also be an attempt to get a hold of one of the oxes/cows in the herd...what if there is not just one but many of them...phiu what if there are many muh‘s? and it’s more about keeping the muh‘s together. one is business, one is health, one is ohhhh wait i‘m starting to juggle with muh‘s

so it must be the mind/no mind behind the pictures. i feel more home in this

trying to reflect about the ten oxherding pictures it again seems like a heroes journey - not directly a heroins journey. well maybe it partially has become a heroins journey to herd the ox as well, and certainly can be fun, but i‘m not yet sure if it is a complete natural way to female samadhi. as the ox seems to have attributes of the minotaur and in this more masculine aspects. so it might be that it would look slightly different for a female. - but then again, maybe not. it somehow also seems to be a description on how to start a business.... weird. (its a reflection on the pictures alone) edit: think it goes for women too. but then the ox might be a cow. well it could be also an ox but then it could be a cow for guys, too. just thought about it. it‘s getting more amazing the longer i look.

you are watching porn and eating snacks while watching? i guess i didn’t want to know. is porn a metaphor - i guess i don’t really want to know that either. think i‘ll leave you some privacy - it’s still your journal.

i wonder, too. some other things. for example how you do that. but, wishes, hopes, dreams, chances - why are you wondering if they are related to memory? (was related to the post before the last one. don’t think i‘m really interested in how you do the content from the other post) but of course body temperature is related to body energy...if energy is awareness well then it would be also related to that. - my mom always recommends linden blossom tea to set temperature up in the body. but you can use other herbs, too. mh - maybe i‘ll have a look what they use in ayurveda. (and tsuki i thought you where married? so maybe the real challenge would be only nr.3- see that’s the equation solving problem)

half asleep and half awake, i must say: it really seems to be all about interspongeousness and if we are able to name little men dancing around fires in forrests. (wisdom of the day) edit one day later: just researched the meaning of mu and found out it meant originally: „many people in the forest“ more edit: and it’s getting weirder, later the sign developed into a „shamanic dancer”. and now it is composed of “kinematic object” “over fire”.

mh - it seems like there is still some major disagreement about what conciousness is and what not. sometimes we talk about it as if conciousness just was, and sometimes it can be lower or higher. but isn’t conciousness just conciousness and what is higher or lower is awareness? if there is a sponge and a bubble and the bubble exsponges into the sponge is there lower and higher conciousness or is there lower and higher awareness? wouldn‘t conciousness get an additional meaning when it could be higher or lower? - it would get a quality! so i don’t think there is higher or lower consciousness related to depression - but if consciousness can contain a quality there is maybe a connection.

@tsuki what is the difference between consciousness and awareness? thought you would make more of a difference between them. what is consciousness in that context for you? i mean do you fall into coma? - sorry for being a nerd, maybe there is another explanation, i didn’t think of. but if reality is made of consciousness - it’s impossible to be similarly conscious and unconscious. i used to use consciousness and unconsciousness for awareness/unawareness of sustainable/unsustainable contents of conciousness, but would maybe not use it that way anymore.

did i mention they both where by yamada mumon? but there was another one that really struck me, no artist mentioned, unfortunately.

saw another caligraphy, i really really liked because it’s sticking so much out from other enso‘s i see so much more these days after understanding more of the inherent thought/no thought behind it. i mean they get more and more narratively connected, or maybe slightly recontextualized would describe it better.

@tsuki ok, another riddle. hope i didn’t overstep boundaries, was not my intention! or did you want to say, that you might be none but you have one, so maybe it would be better to show that? maybe i was playing with symbols too much.

@tsuki hmmm what is written on it? one to rule them all? i’m not sure what you are referring to - but maybe if you would put that as your avatar, people could misinterprete it.

@tsuki just teasing you - it’s to feminine

@tsuki are you still thinking about calligraphy? i mean the circular ink dissolving movement? i saw some nice caligraphy today. i even found a better avatar for you

it somehow seems more like a teasing/pulling.

? what are you referring to? it’s really very difficult to decide what’s the most important to do, if everything seems similarly important - i mean if you avoid any fear operator (having learned to work with fear operators). in the end the most important is to get aware of what is, isn’t it - but most of the time we don’t know where to start with the search.

mhh avoidance and fear are different forms of the same medal - real fear is usually operating us into decisionmaking. avoidance is if we are sick of being operated. it usually results into finding a way of doing things differently.

@tsuki do i seem to be afraid of anything? i mean i don’t really like to work at the circular saw. so the problem is more the avoidance of the uncomfortable. so maybe it’s just a little about the avoidance of a tool we don’t know really how to use it without loosing a thumb. ?

@tsuki mhh the getting cosy in weird may be the problem though sometimes in general. don‘t want to bitch about a language. it’s certainly nice if spoken well - and then even creating new sentences and words to describe something or finding answers to questions, i won’t question that. and yeah of course without it would we even communicate here... i just feel more like a problem solver than a linguist and i don’t speak math very well. 1011100 i don’t even know what i‘m talking about.

@tsuki no it’s ok - i made myself dumb. the thing is, math as a discipline sometimes acts as if it would exist without the phenomenon it was derived from - but then the discipline forgets math is just a language to describe something that is, or to use something that is differently. without the phenomenon math is like old greec or latin.

@tsuki do i seem that dumb?

@Consilience maybe because on a basic level you can have experiences without being much aware and having awareness without making it out to be an experience. both have very different qualities. also you can experience let’s say an elephant or you can be aware of it. or you can do both at the same time, the quality always changes - it’s the aligning of both what brings the difference, they have a dynamic - or what did you want to say? you could also maybe say, nonduality means there is no separation between consciousness and the content of awareness - but in this the awareness of consciousness itself or even in the awareness of experiencing consciousness itself.

i don’t talk about the mathematics because it’s very ambivalent - i mean i didn’t learn some math but then i learned design. so it feels more like design than math. so i won‘t use it to solve math problems. funny, look what’s written on the back:

mh it‘s more like basic problem solving. it‘s more geometry...mh it’s more like an observation method, a basis for experimenting. it‘s actually a book for teachers. it‘s explaining heuristic methods.