now is forever

being openhearted and staying vulnerable demands the flexibility of a rubber band. today is kind of stormy. (quiet water outside seems to be an illusion)

one of the things i‘ll have to get a grip on again is some kind of anticipation for the future while living every day - setting small goals while aiming for the vision might be good, planing some vacation might be good, and then just filling up the time inbetween with what i really want to do for now. so focusing on becoming a table again harry nilssons umbrella seems so big - think i can walk along.

@tsuki still not sleeping? did you find a solution for the coffee problem? i tried to find something to heat up the body for cold weather - but except for tips like ginger tea or golden milk and herbs like pepper and cardamom i couldn’t find anything helpful in ayurveda. still recommending to try them or try lindenblossom - it really warms you from inside.

i don’t know, but there was a book quite popular around ten years ago - and it still is very actual - maybe a classic: it’s called „good bye logo“ the author is neil boorman. it gives practical hinges about how to get rid of logo in your home. for a lot of stuff at home i do that since years and there is no greater peace than to look at the content rather than the label sometimes. sounds good. both together maybe close a loop.

@gilded_honour but ultimately if you want to go further into criticism and dissolve it you can ask yourself: if i criticise them who are they criticizing? if i want to be the critique of a critique then at least i need to understand where it comes from. you‘ll see it gets kind of messy if you‘ll do that. especially with punks and feminists you have to roll up quite a bit of history there.

@Shin yes, i‘m on dada today - it’s a really good drug.

@Shin it looks like you are going to catch a reindeer, or another fast runner - i hope it’s not @WelcometoReality

it’s kind of interesting, first time i hear about meritocracy - nice you bring it in connection with mediocracy. there is a bunch of cracies, we could discuss in that context. i would want to throw in idiocracy and bureaucracy if you don’t mind.

so somehow mixing derrida with kōans leads me to dada. so i am a little sad tonight - it feels a little insecure and lost. morning edit: it doesn’t matter, i still love dada especially the freedom of it - i love to love - and dada can’t hide well, maybe for now but certainly not forever. somehow today the whole spongebubble seems like love and exsponges into this tiny spongebubble. maybe because it’s first of december? i don’t celebrate it this year but somehow - whatever. i guess it’s shin - he looks differently green today. i can hear the tiny bells ring - he‘ll rather catch a reindeer than an ox.

no wonder so many women are still trapped in housework wonder where he got that from.

just watched the video about derrida and deconstruction and i‘m a little confused because i don’t know if i have seen it before - somehow it feels like it and somehow i think i haven‘t - if i had i would have read the paper. given the fact that i didn’t see any videos during the last maybe two years until last may, chances are kind of high i haven’t seen it - or did it just get recontextualized. there was certainly something new to it - i think it was the anecdote - usually i remember anecdotes. very interesting dejavu experience. anyhow it reminds me of how blurry memory can be. also think i didn’t see it because i used to think what i call disconstruction in german was deconstruction... and i can remember where and when i first thought about disconstruction - still very disturbing not to know. but maybe i shouldn’t care.

@Shin do i?am i? well, a pattern on the ground, the moon shines bright, a grass bundle and a rope to bind ? don‘t underestimate weeds.

?????? you guys are so funny

so it’s good to focus on the parts where i still lack or gave up some substance at least the ones where we genarally always can improve in. getting a grip on the grit. found some answers here:

@Girzo power transformers, nice @VioletFlame and tele rangers. ?

i think i need to grab the ox by the balls! i mean i need a rope. and then focusing on patterns and traces. as i learned today: substance/form/purpose (funny that’s not even a new rope it’s just that i never noticed it in that way - it’s a really good one to carry around in the pocket)

@Samra thank you ?

@Samra funny - it really fitted, too. in a way. but 8,9,10 makes most sense. it is still interesting to ask substance, form, purpose behind every picture, did you try? you can use it as filter, always three together.

@Samra are you sure? have this book about zazen and there no.5 is: herding the ox. no.6 is: coming home on the ox but it makes some sense of what you said about the 6,7,8 but it would also make sense for 7,8,9 ?it’s kind of interesting!

guess we are having an introduction to kōans...i mean it is a certain way of reflecting about pictures isn’t it?

who says you have to count from one to ten. could be a countdown, too. but seriously it doesn’t make sense just to reflect on the pic‘s, think it’s easy to trick oneself to believe to be further ahead as we really are. and what if you would try to grab the ox by the balls - i mean would it all turn out the same way?

i‘m not sure yet but it feels like if you are zooming in, to one of the pictures it is a pixeled screen made of all ten pictures again. so somehow it is possible to have a sense of how it could be at one picture while still being stuck at another one. it somehow reminds me of the spiral.

that’s spooky

@Preetom the magic number 5. i think i‘ll have number soup for dinner.

can you see the difference between a piercing being stung because of the will to suffer and a piercing being stung as an expression of healing? does it sting your heart every time you see one? why? a piercing is not always a symbol for suffering and pain - on the contrary it can be exactly the opposite. the initiating pain of the body can be a relief for the soul and an expression not of chaining but of breaking chains. the same goes for tattoos. (if it’s not thoughtlessly done) the pain you see on the person might be only a trace of the past.