now is forever

obviously it can, it just gets smudgy at the edges. and why blue?

because i wanted nothing, everything is a subset feature including the quite something.

what did the no brain spit out? @non_nothing

mh thats one of the difficult challenges to resolve! because the presents still are in the socks or underneath the christmas tree for most people - so what about not believing in the presents - but in the santa clause, that would be another solution. i don’t get why we shouldn’t believe in phantasy anymore - just think of the neverending story the world will just be eaten up by nothing.

mhhh but i‘m not really a talkoholik - as i really already met talkoholics. and also the cure for talkoholics would be not talking with them - but that’s not what makes me stop... it actually gets worse then, as i use to talk to destroy barriers - talking for me is the attempt to lower the preconception hurdle for communication. well sometimes it doesn’t work, interesting to realize those people use to have built preconception walls until the sky. in these cases my talking is usually closing one door after the other. and i use to make a clown of myself then. it’s no joke though - the making myself a clown is the realization of being a onesided positive humanlover. and there is where the lemonjuice comes into play - people over and over use to think i‘m a fool, and i guess they are right. the tarot card fits really good.

sometimes i ask myself if i have this - maybe a little bit https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsive_talking maybe a little bit talkohol with lemon juice, even though the juice goes into the face? ? someone? maybe i‘ll go to the anonym talkoholics. i wonder about the volume level in the room - maybe i would be the only one listening in great awe and bliss. meditating there maybe also a challenge, stage turquoise for spiral meditators. talkoholism really is my greatest addiction at the moment - no regresses as i never really tried stopping for longer than a day..

there is another ego backlash, just feeling fine again and in the process of taming small oxes everywhere again. there it is, someone who tells me how incompetent i am screaming at me. because i am not the same efficient in one of the things i am doing in my spare time as they (delegating group ego) are in their work. and there it is the bad feeling of being nothing again completely forgetting i am not a thing treated as if there where no emotions. why does it hurt? i mean it’s a concrete situation. not that it’s just happening in my mind alone the person really downgraded my selfesteem while in the same room by telling me very incompetently i was incompetent while i‘m just full with things to handle and maybe am still a little inefficient while i try to be effective instead. it’s not that i‘m getting payed or something and there was no set timeframe. i mean a situation like this could be handled differently. craving for cigharettes or external love/attention but not regressing. i just started to mount up i won’t get back down again. (well a little bit, i smoked mullein flower tee as my favorite medicine-witch pluto recommended for regress situations - afterwards starting with the l-theanin again)

also today i realized one of the biggest ego backlashes i get is external produced social competitive pressure and how it produces the same internally, as an inversion. instead of making me strive i tend to bring myself psychologically down as i see the struggling of the other as introduced by my existence and my breathing. as competition has something to do with winning or loosing i tend to prefer loosing, it’s still better than all that introduced suffering, loosing is running away - but NoThing is worth striving for - maybe i can remember that as a life rule. even sticking my head out like a mushroom, even though it might be cut off in the process. even risking to exchange dream for reality i can always start melting them together again. sometimes the only progress is a small regress. ?

@Eric Tarpall then it’s the law of unattraction nice avatar by the way.

@CreamCat yes but do you know what i mean... hmmm the category between pet and non pet is artificial as the category between worker and non worker is artificial.

@CreamCat where is the boarder between pet and non pet?

no they do work as a lot of animalworkers, like therapie dogs or mice controll some of them even get eaten or beaten to death for their furr - a lot of them work as energy containers you can see how long someone has been feeding on the energy of the dog when dog and person look alike.

@MM1988 it seems like you are avoiding reality if you start positive thinking because there is a difference in just positive thinking and hoping on positive outcome and working towards achieving a goal. of course reality doesn’t just change completely on its own if you don’t change reality. but if you are positive in that the positive outcome will be more realistic than if you think negative in that. because if you stay positive you make the effort to try and try again until it works. in the negative mindset you have thought it through till the end and you don’t even start as you already know it won’t work, so why even bother in the firstplace. you can’t reach the top of a mountain if you don’t bother to go uphill.

first time since ages my mind threw out a oneliner this morning: “the discrepancy between mind and mind content“ don‘t know what it wants me to do with that yet. or if it wanted to tell me something like: now you can experience that or if it just reminded me of that - but it was a very loud thought as if it had prepared it for the moment waking up. maybe it’s hungry.

i guess she would smile while sticking the dildo up your ass. hups beeep.

well the robots are not future anymore - especially in home automation you can have a vacuum cleaner robot, a smudgerobot, a mowing robot, you can homeautomtize your lighting your roller blinds your doors. you can have a washing machine a dryingmachine a dishwasher a fridge a printer three different kinds of external brains a 3d printer a dildo and an alexa - here you go.

this was actually a fotograph of me naked - unfortunately the lights went off

ah no when they are all shut down

although it can look kind of amazing

@tsuki sorry i didn’t take you for serious, it sounded s lot like you always sound. are you really also in a bad mood? do you think your memories are not real? we loose a lot of memories from the past aren‘t we? the most interesting thing is, there is no memory of hot and cold - you can’t remember the warmth of a place when it’s icecold, it doesn’t help a bit. do you think that‘s sad - i mean it also helps to forget all the not so nice stuff. (and of course memory is different as is the now) so you are the only person in the amazing position to live exactly your life - no one else except you and hey how interesting it is when you suddenly remember stuff you thought you had already forgotten - i mean sometimes if the memory is not too bad.

see that was a misunderstanding - sometimes in a thread there are blue lines apearing between the textfields, did you notice them?

never mind there is more things to do than....than shutting down lights.

i guess this time even the light went off on my forehead. for a minute there was complete darkness. maybe a shortcircuit. the funny thing is i have not always been like that...actually it’s the first time like that - and i don’t know what i expect, maybe i was expecting nothing as i maybe also should understand: this is a fucking internet forum. what am i doing here being vulnerable going crazy and opening my heart to everyone who wants to push in a knife. well not that everyone would do or have done that. and better i go crazy here than on the streets - i‘m acting completely normal there. but berlin is crazy anyways.

@tsuki wow - i guess that would make me really special. i guess i would be the most annoying person in the whole forum then. thank you tsuki but maybe i‘m not a person who can handle that very good. definitely have an issue with being ignored. you see i can’t even joke about it. but if, i would lough. please don’t! i‘m just too dark today - so i can’t tell you how much i appreciate talking to you. i guess i‘m looking like that fish again.

close your eyes while reading this - this is naked stuff.