now is forever

and started to read spiral dynamics in action - and found out the matrioshka is a spiral thing i‘m kind of proud. actually it was a modell i was reflecting on for other reasons but phenomena are phenomena. that‘s why i digged out this track from the 20th century. and whatever you hear it’s „funk phenomena“

and exactly because there is so much to do i regressed into procrastination the whole day. even went off the road to check out the market i want to sell some of my products for a starter next year. that’s so nice in berlin it is so directly accessible.

and guys - i did that test, i‘m a little disappointed in you... but i won‘t say where i stand

@lmfao why use squares anyways? why squeeze the landscape into squares, while we already arrived at circles/spirals? and are you sure the names of the variables are the correct ones?

one of my psychology profs said once: never use the word schizophrenic to swear at someone, i guess by all aversion against political correctness, i should add canibalist and psychopath to the list of words to use with care. there is a difference between pathology and regress and fruit. a difference between content and context. and if we are not careful we just turn out to be animals.

@CreamCat i‘m not sure if this example fits so well to talk about stage orange ideology canibalism. reasoning of canibalism and word canibalism might have some similarities but it can get kind of tasteless - i would still prefer the fruit then. but if you want: what’s the difference between psychopathic canibalism and stage beige regress.

yes canibalism is a huge topic - especially on mars. and i guess inner fruitism falls prey to that a lot, but fruitism can turn out to be inner canibalism if the carnivoirs are not seen - so really what to do against all the canibalism. kommunism, anarchism, socialism, democratism, it is endless.

maybe an apple? asked the snake.

today starts more rational. there is so much more to do before it gets hectical through the holidays. i‘m happy i won’t have to care for christmas stuff - i was really fanatic about celebrating christmas since i was a child because my christmas was always green christmas. i even was the devil in my neighborhood telling all the kids that santa clause or the christ child was a fairy tale. in germany in a lot of families it’s the christ child who brings the presents... the fanatism about a peaceful present loaded christmas turned out to be an illusion as it was always me trying to make it perfect while everyone else didn’t really care. so this year i made it perfect by transporting my parents out of their war zone - we‘ll have a wellness christmas, my mom really deserves it, as my father even turns out the heater sometimes because he wants to safe money (it’s not that he hasn’t any). now he will get sauna as a present. and he will pay for all of us.

@Cudin did you ever wonder about the interconnectedness of synchronicity and coincidence, synchronicity of coincidence? how much is synchronicity how much coincidence? if you go deeper in to the experience (also during the experience itself but maybe now in retrospective) - what part of the experiences where initiated by you? and what parts where initiated by your openness and what was the content of your experience? the content is the devine synchronicity. the spontanuousity is the devine coincidence. if you stay open and don’t close yourself completely to those experiences especially with people in need (it can be less attention though if it’s not the right moment) you can have magical moments like that every day. if you ask the right questions you will get some answers, that’s opening the eye for the devine. realize that synchronicity of coincidence can be more than just synchronicity and more than just coincidence.

many but one that stuck out as an addition to what he says is: i would exchange prejudice into a hibryd of preconception and the inability to place someone else’s judgement before our own judgement if we don’t share mutual understanding, so selfrighteousness as a hurdle. prejudice=preconception/selfrighteousness in the context he is talking about and for me he clearly states it will get hard but if we face it it’s doable. well we can’t ignore that we are at the brink of a change any change but it will be a change. but it’s also a matter of how we preconceive the future. it’s not about seing the glass half empty. it is about seing the glass half full even though we are aware it might be half empty, everything else would lead back into the circle of rescuer, victim, scapegoat, watcher.

i had this beautiful morning today, like a warm sunny song even though i couldn’t sleep through i have these wonderful dreams i can’t remember in the morning but if i wake up sometimes the whole surrounding feels electrified, another night i even had this big yellow flower at my bed i bought for myself and i woke up and didn’t even touch it but the air around it was so loaded that i just put my hands like when you hold it against the warmth of fire and recived this unbelievable energy. i felt the same feeling again tonight. i‘m completely full with happiness and was very productive this whole morning. now it’s already afternoon. i also think my body/mind is about to explore or open the navel chacra further as i am kind of sensitive in the belly region.

i must excuse the freedom but most political ideologies have also a philosophical foundation - to understand chaotic group dynamics and developments anarchy can be seen as a natural phenomenon that is foundational at work in any spontaneous liberating happening (including spontaneous art) involving more than one person and even there it can be part of one person (orange is a form of egoic anarchy) in that sense i think turquoise is not possible without integrating anarchy as philosophy because chaos is part of the human, but maybe it’s just the wrong wording.

just tried to find some good fruit music - there are even strawberries involved.

somehow i feel better as the new video is out and it’s not so much about spirituality but more about the spiral. i have bought so many books in summer, but still am stuck on the zazen book (it‘s also from mumon). it’s a mixture of practical advices and a little bit philosophy. i like the caligraphy. so maybe it’s time to start with one of the spiral books - and use the other one for practice.

you won’t believe it there is even a tarot deck with a strawberry card: and what does it want to say? maybe: if life gives you strawberries, don’t make lemon juice.

how about a strawberry facial? sometimes i ask myself who‘s apple was first, actually i constantly ask this question. and it’s kind of interesting but it doesn’t change the different content of apples. can i tell someone that i like their apple? for example stirred apple or baked hot apple or grandmothers apple it’s all apple even strawberry facials are apples. wonder what card the strawberry would be... maybe it’s still a fools card.

depends on what halfs and how you tinker them together, or apart ??‍♀️ (a half truth is still a full half truth)

in sense of criticism in general and especially with work - it is kind of interesting how there is critique of critique of critique until the point where the meaning of critique is like one fish eating up the other and the last one is just eaten by the biggest shark in the pool. so i try to understand critique in sense of primary and secondary critique. especially in sense of everyday life it’s such a no go to play this critique ping pong. it‘s difficult to not feel criticized at all but it’s also difficult to not tell others about errors and bite the lips if we feel attacked/tackled. of course it’s so much nicer if the problem solving flows like oscillating waves, but unfortunately that works only with openminded people. and i still need to figure out how decisionmaking works without criticism or at least some kind of evaluation - even though i don’t want to controll but as long as i give in to the luxury to afford profession accompanying taste it’s sometimes difficult to not comment or try to controll especially if i always need to convince people first until the las drop of blood, maybe i just have to get smarter in that or try poker. maybe tarot poker=lemon juice? i wonder if i would need to exchange the fruit

if i may: there are many enlightened people some just are differently enlightened than others. and: there are many enlightened people some are just together more coenlightened than others. ??

i also realized how difficult it is for me to separate myself from any mess created. and i always think i‘m part of the mess. but just had this little insight - that’s wrong it’s not only me who is part of the mess. it’s also the mess that is part of me. and how i integrate mess until the point even chaos gets chaotic and how it’s not distinctive anymore who creates whose mess, because it’s never just from one direction. so while i am part of the mess maybe it would be ok to not let the mess be part of me (i mean i try to understand the dynamics of the mess) it doesn’t mean i love people less then, it means i grasp controll in a situation that is out of controll. that builds some barriers though - it is a not giving in to the moment completely while still trying to handle the situation - somehow the mind gets more and more rational in these situations - i need to focus not forgetting the heart. as the mind wants all the controll, wants to shut off the emotions. it‘s kind of critical here to set the emotions right. i guess i need to distinct mess from mess a little more. like mari kondo does with things... to sort out mess it’s very good to devide mess in general subcategories: physical mess, mess of things mess of false belief (including onesided belief into science) mess of dreams mess of love and sexuality, (i think here it is critical to understand that i am the creator of the mess but am not it, if i want to transcend into love) the music link is about understanding that mess of addictions (while i think they are just the experiencable phenomena of all the other, or all the other are healthy or unhealthy subcategories of addictions - then addictions would be habits) mess of habits, too many or not enough or the wrong ones mess of rituals, too many or not enough or the wrong ones progress and coming clean is somehow always connected to discarding and reestablishing - so shutting some channels of perception might be crucial to a discarding and reestablishing phase. the same as opening all channels to conciousness is crucial to phases of integration and reconnecting. thinking about the dot metaphor i‘ll try to shrink to a very small dot when i am receiving and try to be a really huge/big open circle like dot when i‘m giving. i also need to remember to think about all the different time/experiences again, there are so many, as time is this liquid love flow we call life or this liquid life flow we call love.

@Zweistein i would not care about the green moralism... i also always think i might be thrown out soon for being extra dreist. but it never happens. it‘s just the inability to evaluate oneself appearance - i like you here, so for me no harm done. the stirring of the emotion is important isn’t it? it can only be stirred by someone who knows to stirr or stirrs unintentionally and of course you can only watch them in movement. we didn’t talk about bending spoons did we? we are talking about stirring the spoon. (sorry again all these metaphors)

yes welcome back. how was your retreat?

wow aquarius are you alright? i don’t think coca cola santas red is a sign for period even though we talked about periods just now - but they where blue. i don’t think their red has any symbol character it‘s like with some peoples orange faces it just is. so hope you are getting better soon! ?

@Pernani hehe - form is emptiness, don’t mind the packaging, go for the content. huuups was that ambiguous?