now is forever

ego thinks it is god thinks it can play god, thinks too much about itself, thinks iiiiiiiiii aaaaammmmm gooooood. but it’s the devil instead having wet dreams. as long as there is no space for what is really god.

@Charlotte sorry, it was schoulder/arm bursitis. ultrasound was really really helpful. it reappeared from time to time for some years, because of the sleeping habit...until i slept on the back for some months. but now it’s gone since some time. knocking on wood! i mean it could be that you have in anyways a pressure or friction on it as michal said. i just remembered that because he mentioned it, in my case it was the sleeping habit - so what i was pointing to is how easy the cause could be overlooked. sleeping on the side might be the problem, if it is for ex. your favorite sleeping side, or it’s the mattress etc. but maybe it’s also irrelevant. if you stay aware of when and where it hurts the most, maybe you find some clues.

as i already posted it somewhere else, i can equally share it here. bought myself this nice book about permaculture. it has a lot of wholistic information in it and some really nice vegan recipes. i‘ll probably not create a permaculture garden at my backyard right now - even though the caretaker of my house would probably be all in. but i want to go regularly to urban gardening projects during the coming summer and partake in the gardening. and i share it because it’s a really nice cookbook for anyone who wants to get all into veganism and healthy eating and maybe wants to get closer to the idea of nature in the city. also think about it, do you have urban gardening projects in your city? did you ever go there? urban gardening is not just a trend, it‘s a living philosophy. and also if you only go there to show your sunglasses - don’t go.

when i had the bursitis it came again for several times because of my sleeping habit of putting the arm underneath my pillow - so you might want to notice how you sleep, too. might be that it’s just a small thing like sleeping on the side having the whole pressure of the body on the hip, trying to sleep on the back then for a while could be helping. or a way you are sitting or so. it’s maybe not really what made it occure but could be the extra that doesn’t let it disappear.

@Charlotte hey - had it at the arm some years ago and what helped was some kind of ultrasonic treatment - the doctor was specialized on sports medicin. also remember that applying warmth was better than cold.

it is because synchronicity exists, you only ever understand that when you understand how coincidental it really is - if synchronicity and coincident fall together so perfectly how can it still be only coincidence? that’s where it’s getting highly irrational and where we sometimes think we loose our minds - because we don’t even know enough about what it really is. did the person in the car really die? (this is only a projection, because i think of another car)

well maybe it’s really some kind of sign - you feel that good and are proceeding with your spiritual path very fast, but now your life has to catch up to that path and that takes a little longer, as this dimension still travels in hp(horse power) not in light speed. not everyone travels in hellspeed...?

is there any voice that tells you the meditation is the lack of direction? or is it that the meditation tells you something about you goin out drinking? what happened that day or after that day that might make the change of perspective. what is the fear about? is it a future fear, is it a fear of getting wasted? are you journaling? do you work on direktion?

journaling sounds good. i‘d recommend meditation to calm the mind if you don’t do that already, also yoga could help you balance, you could adjust it to what you need for the day - if there is too much energy you choose a more intense sequence and a more relaxing if you are tired but too nervous to sleep right away. other options are running or going for a walk in your area to get the mind free.

neither understand the writing nor what you where cooking! but i love wall writing - best is to store information exactly where you need it - well i don’t know what the ego has to do in the kitchen though.... the bathroom wall is a good idea. well a long wall can be filled with plenty of drawings don’t even need paper for it...although toiletpaper can also do the trick, instead of a looooooooong wall. (and now don‘t think mandala toiletpaper would be a good business idea - people would never leave the toilet again)

how do you know you like chocolate icecream and how do you know how chocolate icecream has to taste? there is one chocolate icecream that has ruined every other chocolate icecream for you and has also ruined every other taste of icecream for you... because you think you know what chocolate icecream is, but instead you have a memory of chocolate icecream, it’s a chocolate icecream dream. you don’t even know yet how chocolate sorbet tastes because you always ever chose the milk version - for me there is only sorbet left but two weeks ago all sorbet was sold out, so what options does a vegan have craving for chocolate icecream? i went there only because i knew they had chocolate sorbet... it’s interesting, before i went vegan i always thought: why are there so many vegan alternatives that imitate meat or cheese? i mean there are enough asian alternatives or vegan alternatives that have always been vegan from the start, so what’s the problem? and today i know - if you know, you know, you will not forget what you have experienced so easily. there is a difference in granita di limone and lemon icecream and a difference in choco icecream and choco icecream but what you crave is the chocolate of chocolate it is the feeling where your tongue is melting into the icecold warmth of getting absorbed in a cloud of chocolate and the tongue and nose don’t even exist anymore because there is only melting left. you don’t even know where the bean grew in the first place anymore - nor how it ever came to be mixed with the food of a cow baby. sorry so many projections.

@Joseph Maynor don’t you see the tiny nose and the big eyes...thank you for fancying my poem!

where does it fit? the whole of it? how big is your mouth?

yes, directly into your mouth! they even chop themselves up. you don’t know exactly what it is but as long as it moves...it must be edible!

chop chop

saying that reality has to do nothing with beliefs is a belief itself. saying that a conversation is not worthwhile while talking to oneself is not worthwhile to say. who do you want to convince, and who’s beliefs do you want to convince one of? yes conciousness comes first.

wow thank you - that’s one of my main issues why i tend to discriminate a certain percentage of men and put them into drawers very fast. some of the most attractive funny women i know stay single because they just don’t find men who are able to handle them talking back - most people want sunshine relationships. and of course it’s nice if people tell each other how beautiful they are but no one wants to be reminded of their bad sides - so instead of taking critique or talking back as a change booster or foundation for discussions, people still tend to not wanting to be criticized (because that’s what they think talking back is - critique. the ego doesn’t want that because it‘s god already) that accounts not only for romantic love relationships - but all relationships and that’s what we are in with everything we encounter. ???

@Deepconcepts i didn’t say you where wrong didn’t say he was wrong. it‘s neither our fault nor our earnings but we still can make the best of the situation always, don’t we. responsibility means also we can’t take responsibility for things that are outside of our power - that means we need to find ways to influence the unchangeable.

it’s not your fault being born, it’s not your fault where you are born, it’s not your fault how you are treated by family and country - but it’s not your earnings either. radical responsibility means still facing it some day because there is no faults in you until you could already take responsibility. becoming responsible is a process that accompanies conciousness.

@mandyjw it came from nothing and goes to nothing, recive it as the nothing that it is.

@Serotoninluv just tried to explain the inexplicable - it’s more a description though. question is: have there even ever been explanations or have there always only been descriptions?

once upon a time in a far far land that was not here nor there nor was there gravity. where lakes where deep enough to mirror golden glimpse of light and trees and sky and light blue mountain, a bunnyfishsquid flittered featherlight, roseglittergold, cloudlike dragon through the sky with mirrored eyes so wide a moon fit in. blub blub ting ting blub blub

transcending sickness means holding up the basic functions and starting to create healthy habits and supporting healthy organs while some parts of the body are still sick. caring with compassion to turn the bodies course from towards death to towards life. sometimes it doesn’t matter that we do because it matters what we do with what we do. it is all just transfering between life and death.

got this really bad cold with sinusitis - and also had the chills until the point i thought all my body would give up working, could feel some of my inner organs too. those are the moments when we experience first hand how everything works together and how we are actually not mastering our body at all or only to a certain degree, but are mastered by how the body works and are able to experience its fragility. the problems about any system is it’s illnesses are only felt where it’s dysfunctional/sick (humans are too ignorant and self centered to understand that though) - and the factors are obviously not only external or not only internal they always have to be seen systemically. sometimes it’s interesting, growing up in a family of holistic medicine men gave me a different view on how systems in general work, but understanding only always comes by practice and the only person i can heal is myself. thats also why a doctors prescription is always only an advice based on a systemical concept (that’s why it’s so important to find good ones, as most medical systems are sick, a lot of doctors are only prescription machines for pharmaceutical industry) - if the healing can reach us depends on our own healing abilities.

well someone who wants to point towards drug abuse in relation to homelessness and at the same time in relation to warm-showerers! i‘d not say someone has to take cold showers to be a man or so - but i‘d say taking cold showers and needing drugs for it makes a whimp. with some hope left that the cold might wake you up.