now is forever

if i wear pearls? @tsuki haha, just showed one of them. one grain of sand.

@mandyjw you are cute i’m actually very clear and sorted out about that at the moment.

@tsuki saying it, is difficult to take for me - thank you it’s more saying it because i feel bad if no one sees me. i’m not invisible - it’s difficult if my whole being is expected to be taken for granted/self evident. it’s about that, too. the fleeing into dreams - it’s really a huge thing the whole romance stuff. mothers give so much more than we ever give back consciously and it’s hard to turn from a child into a mother. who cares for the emotions of the mother when she cares for the emotions of the child?

@tsuki no my mom just calls them like that and watches the badest kind, but that’s her survival strategy - she’s really cute when she is happy about the worst kind of it. i’d throw up ? but she’s another generation and she’s over 70 so i love her for hanging on.

@mandyjw i think this is happening to a lot of women and men, we think about the what if and then the mind starts imagining all the good stuff we never will be able to eat. and yes, a family is a limiting choice - but inside of these limits you can expand the space. my mom calls these movies heart cinema - but they don’t fulfill the dreams about romance we have, they are like porn just soothing our adiction for a while and then we come back to our life’s and expect even more instead of working on what’s right under our nose. we want to feel that don’t we? we want to be that, so badly! all this stocked up romance inside our heart. and they lived happily ever after...

@mandyjw are you talking about creative highs? or emotional highs? or drug highs? or beautiful moments? with submission, do you mean surrendering to whatever a high means? so you see submission to it as some kind of compulsion? are you asking how to handle practical life, when it’s boring/monotone?

meet a kanguru

the problem with faith is that it is very relative, truth is not. you can have faith without truth but you can’t have truth without faith?

in a sense yes but in another sense no - faith is very settled very limited as it usually sets its trust into something. what happens if faith fails? will we ignore it and go on believing? believing, yes as everything is already that. faith means being faithful to faith - that’s very limiting. faith in yourself, faith in finding a way, faith in guidance, faith in love, faith in the ability to understand and faith in standing up again. yes. you need to be a seeker for that.

if it requires pants then nah!

swadhistana the second chacra, rooted in creation. the reciving vessel, the mother within. the full moon. suns reflection earths shade.

@Joseph Maynor where did you find that old bone? lol, sometimes you’re so cute and funny. this guy triggered me also quite a bit. well: radical openmindedness!!!

@MM1988 god designs every moment indefinitely the indefinite moment. catch it or it’s gone, hold on it will be over soon.

because of this: everything talks to us and we talk to everything.

i’m sorry i didn’t participate, it was to work related - i miss you j. but i’m happy you made the cliff jump. i wonder if you spread your wings and fly or if you woke up through your impact on the water surface and the waves closing over your head. the cold making the adrenal shock perfect. i hope we’ll meet again, thank you for being my friend ? you’re beautiful. i want to share this with you: you’ll love it - hope you drop by to pick it up.

the mind is always so much faster than the body.

@mandyjw can you please respect my space. i can’t take advices from you at the moment - you are projecting unto me and i can’t care about you at the moment. find yourself mandy! you loose yourself much more than i do at the moment.

@tsuki ajna the n and j are twisted

@mandyjw i write here since some time and i’ve given the same advices. so it doesn’t really help me now - you are cute, but it’s not the problem right now and it won’t change anything. thank you sweetheart, i know you mean good!

as much as i would like to give you that tsuki, but no it’s not about this us. it’s about a more collective us it’s about this whole nospace. and it’s about memories. it’s about clinging to time and space and everything that happened in this nowhere land. where nothings meet.

it’s not that i don’t know. i know that already. i know obsession is obsession. obsessions are like drugs they can not be satisfied. the question is if they can ever be left behind completely if they are not satisfied.

@mandyjw sorry to say it but, please don’t. it’s not like that. we are not rollplaying here. i don’t mean it in a bad way - but if you mess up my emotions through projecting, i can’t introspect into this situation and i really need to do that right now. i somehow sound like tsuki now. i get what i give.

@tsuki at the moment i‘m super theatralic, i‘m breaking my own heart because i need to at least stop visiting the forum daily - i‘m to obsessed with it. why don’t you like me being symbolic?

@Zigzag Idiot yeah there was probably an i ahold of me - the one that thinks it is not about itself to let go. certainly i need to work myself up through the chacras consciously. thank you for reminding me! are you everywhere by the way? also you are the only person really visiting here except tsuki. thank you! you know i will miss everyone so much.

how is it that the more i want to pull away the more i get sucked in. why can’t i let go. even woke up in the middle of the night and went completely owlish... it’s break of dawn.