now is forever

yesterday a topic arose in a conversation, it was the topic of feeling unworthy of love. i realized there is a duality in this unworthiness that makes up different dynamics of suffering, both in the end feeling pretty much the same but pointing to different emotional dynamics. i don’t want to talk about mechanics as the mindbody is not a machine but a dynamical biological concious entity. so there is both: feeling unworthy of reciving love and feeling unworthy of giving love. while both of them are also splittable into a variety of emotional side effects from accepting over heartache to real suffering. both dynamics are at play in push and pull (not talking about sex, and also not about the flirting game) even though in reality the emotions towards a person doesn’t change as it is usually built upon another connection, but this feeling of unworthiness always has the effect of spinning a thread between both partners and tying knots. it’s very sad if this dynamic stems from an unworthiness we recived from a parent, as such dynamics should not be played out towards children, but unfortunately are, especially if the parents did never question theirs. they are both dynamics that usually make us withdraw from people but in certain cases when the dynamic of another fits with our dynamic there is attraction instead of repulse.

synchronicity of coincidence vs serendipity and why they are same same but different. i already wrote about the difference between synchronicity and synchronicity of coincidence so there is another small difference to serendipity. serendipity already entails synchronicity and coincidence but in a sense is more about an asymmetric synrchonistic coincidence. when two non synchronistic contents/happenings/ideas fuse to something new that would not have happened if they didn’t meet. it is like the mixture of two new flavors like salt and caramel. while synchronicity of coincidence is more like strawberry and raspberry. also serendipity would match better to the effect a synchronistic coincidence has if blooming to its full potential. as until it carries fruits it is not serendipity, so the meeting itself is synchronicity of coincidence the happening is serendipity. the factor time is in that sense relevant as time IS the synchronicity itself in serendipity as real innovation often depends on the ripeness of two new contents/happenings/ideas merge at the right moment coincidently. serendipity in that sense is an equivalent to what many people call fate or creation by fallacy or incongruency (can’t find the right wording, it’s not it yet) in both cases it is the primed focus that creates awareness. synchronicity of coincidence because of sameness, serendipity because of difference/newness.

i feel like a ball of wool today.

@OctagonOctopus ?u

@Shadowraix i think i get what you are saying. i was a little confused because you where talking about shakti and in a sense i think you where referring to mahadevi or durga. but you where talking about prakriti shakti as well. https://www.yogapedia.com/definition/8517/prakriti-shakti

@iTommy it sounds as if this energy was not part of the body - thats probably the dissonance. it sounds as if people would try to use that energy as they use nature, it’s a power abuse over the own nature or nature that runs through the body. the difference between east and west is mind over matter, head over heart while the way of the chi is heart over head or better heart through head and head through heart ?

@ivankiss didn’t count the drops it where minimum five ???

a person who lacks confidence in general, tends not to attempt something which lies outside his rehearsed repertoire of behaviors — he fears possible consequences of moving into an unknown area — be they imagined, or predicated from past experience. similarly, a person who is over-confident may attempt something and fail, as he is limited by ‚gazing‘ into a future where he has already succeeded, and so his attentiveness to the immediate present is blunted. if one is relaxed within the immediate present, then one is neither projecting/anticipating nor is one limited by the boundaries created by previous experiences and past conditioning. here, the ability to relax refers to being aware — attentive, of the immediate present, without rigidly patterning that present as it unfolds. PHIL HINE

the now is an illusion. there is no black and white.

what do you mean with that? it comes with a price? everything comes with the pricetag of work you wanna invest. did you sell your soul or what?

6 of cours 3 times 6

@sidaz10 did you try wim hoff? without the cold showers? you could also try it with sports and then when the body parts are warmed doing cold showers on the body parts especially the feet. did you try sports in general? i don’t think psychedelics will help with warming the body parts - there is not one medicine that helps for everything. if anybody would have discovered that, there would have been wars about it, you‘d probably not have missed it.

monkeys and half monkeys are little devils, there are even plants who are fly eaters. but human claims to be superior, no other animal does that, so - find the biggest devil of all. ta da, there in the mirror, he got you.

@Truth Addict yeah it was - i almost crossed the street without looking. we blocked the cars because we couldn’t wait some likeminded lemmings and me.

it’s usually not my style of music but today it was the absolute love needed - the lyrics are also really nice. ?

sometimes i‘m getting tired of playing a cacado.

would you weigh up your heart with that? i mean with a butterfly?

until it will be forbidden because some people can’t stop petting their ego. it’s medicine for hard cases not a fun drug.

@Nexeternity yeah technically, i regret ever saying something like that as devils use it to legitimize their conscious unconscious doing they fly into your mouth and then flies come out of it - you probably also become what was applied to your skin the same as what you ate unwillingly. technically their poison is taken away from them so they can be eaten on spot, did you ever ask yourself why you have to throw up? there is a reason why it’s not used for the masses, be thankful to the frog and don’t hype it.

@Mezanti there’s nothing more oranje than oranje choose a nice college in a nice green city.

not vegan though - and you need to like tattoos.

You're lucky I'm even here talking to you ! Like seriously I should even ask for blowjobs as payment at that point ! well if you’d cut out some ribs that would be possible maybe.

@Shin by the way, really 3000€?

there is no me.

problem is some people want to skip everything inbetween right away rising to the top. watch leo’s no bullshitting with yourself video - does this exist?