now is forever

for the goal setting, i use to set one yearly goal for the really big stuff. and try to do something good for the body/health/mind every day at least half an hour (abhyanga or yoga or meditation) today was trampolin jumping on a playground in front of the house for the inner child. the rest i work with systems like mindmaps. it’s still under construction. so i guess it depends on what you want to integrate and what kind of work you are doing.

surrendering with codepending. counterreacting with complete surrender to the wrong. surrendering with blind counterreaction. codepending without counterreacting to the wrong. not questioning the right. not shifting perspectives. not accepting codependency as an interdependency of body mind soul vs or with the world. not accepting, that this is a lifetime job you will be never done with.

despite all open questions, entering reality means some shame coming back on the assumption of possibilities. this whole time here was like a summer mega trip - no plane could bring you there i guess. but maybe it was one or two planes in the first place. if a trip is that exciting how can you go back into reality, without taking at least some pictures with you. how can anyone go back to the old self afterwards. so i’m codependent to this forum now - it’s a form of addiction definitely. but how to disconnect entirely and focus on dreaming reality if you started to question reality in general because the new dream is the old dream just different, or the new reality is the old reality just not so different. still trying to think about the whole codependency topic. but maybe i just write that on paper.

@see_on_see what did you expect from @FakeEnlightenment

@Zweistein dito. the problem just is if you created codependency in your external world or someone created it for you, you have to resolve that, too. or try to figure out where it’s healthy and where not. because we are all interdependent with our surrounding. guess that’s creating at least some boundaries, while opening others.

no wait a minute, who is the bubble? have you created a bubble? you just entered a bubble with thinking that. you are always a co creator... co dependent... there is no way you created that on your own. it’s nice though you want to take responsibility. but that’s a bubble, too. don’t load the whole bubble on your shoulders. that’s collecting stones again. i mean stones on your heart. just stop trying to heal the ego’s wounds of others. if you can - they are responsible for themselves. you always try to pour water on plants to make them grow. but the ego has to be cut off, of the water source first to realize it’s own source. see i’m also talking about half knowledge, it’s because we never know for sure what we create before we have created it. i don’t know, but would it help to let others trample on your ego, but not on your selfesteem? try to forget the shame it creates if you get trampled on, just have a good lough and learn. (guess it’s the you=i=we again, that is such an amazing insight, have at least some pride in understanding that)

@Jamie Universe never try to cure a real narcissist. would make you a codependency at one point - you would question yourself over and over again. hahaha some people would think that’s exactly what i need... you see how this is a trap? just contemplate on trump and you see the effect. (but no narcissist is the same, they are still humans, that’s the whole point, some are more humane than others) you might also contemplate about resiliency. @Cortex sorry for that kind of talk, if you are already selfaware of the fact that you are a narcissist it makes you a better person, have some selfesteem in that!

@martin_malin who are you talking to martin? just got confused, guess that’s the ticket for posting confusing questions.

@MrDmitriiV do you really think a cup is just useful? then you didn’t understand anything! nothing about the cup nothing about the emptiness! and i guess nothing about the nature of reality. you try to brew tea, while you didn’t yet shaped the cup. and you want to hold the ceramicist responsible just by doubting the clay. maybe it’s just not your cup of tea, but how will you ever know if you never tasted it. never reduce a cup on it’s impression.

that’s so touching zweistein, i guess we are able to take anyones perspective. but it’s difficult to do that with all at the same time. sometimes we just don’t want to take the others perspective because it hurts. and sometimes the others are not open enough. if we stop focusing on the humane stuff of the why. why someone is acting the way they do we are lost in translation again. there is a good quote of someone i know: “i can understand why they are acting that way, it just doesn’t mean i can accept it”. that’s where all struggles and differences begin. that’ partly a male problem, as they fight for independence and they learned to separate themselfs instead of finding the separation inside of oneness. they try to find the difference in the person not in the cause. or maybe they try to find the differences of cause to find the difference in the person... it’s a struggle for power.

@Cortex are you sure you are a narcissist? narcissists tend to have a huge ego and no self esteem. that’s a difference... they usually misinterprete their ego for self esteem. or do you have really no ego? and only self esteem? or do you have no ego and no self esteem? is this triggering you?

@Serotoninluv i had this image once about how humans are animals, putting themselves in cages, training themselves like they train animals and also start optimizing themselves like they optimized domestic animals. that’s fine to a certain point - but what happens if you set a chiwawa free? could it survive and run with the wolves? when does bacteria mutate in a sense that it gets pandemic? what kind of god are we to ourselves, if we think we are separated from what we came from? are we not just playing god? that‘s not moralizing, that’s instinct. hope it’s a survival instinct. and instinct is part of our intuition. i rather work on intuition than becoming a chihuhua jumping through loops. just think how it would feel if you were raised in a water tank. who’s heartbeat was it you heard? i had a similar less strong experience some days ago thinking of my mother...and what she gave to me.

finally found a fools song, i really like because it fits so well. fits the movie as well. the word fool is not appearing. i like it because it‘s a very broadly interpretable song and full of contrast - guess everyone could find some truth in it.

i came here at the point one story ended and another began. came here because nothingness called for eternity. came here to close a circle by braking it. i came here for magic in life. i came here to understand myself while trying to understand others. i came here to make others understand through understanding me. came here for empowerment, came here for the reason of self-illumination and illumination of the world. i came here because i'm a functioning paradox in a paradoxic universe. i'm a catch 22 in a catch 22 i'm a catch 44. what doesn't mean i have no problems. it just means i found a solution of how to make sense of my life while caring for others. realizing i need them the same as they need me. 4+4=8 and 8 is the symbol of eternity.

sometimes i ask myself if all the youtube videos about apple vinegar is not just a promotion of „that“ brand. because it’s promoted for so many things. i‘m sure apple vinegar is one of the most healthy vinegars you can get - would go for a biological one. as with everything it can be a poison if overdosed. it‘s also interesting to compare it to apple acid malate. apple acid is something else the body needs for certain regulations. but it‘s not contained in the vinegar as much as in whole fruits (also other fruits than apples) an apple a day...you know what i mean. it contains potassium... isn‘t a certain amount of potassium needed? especially for blood vessels. especially together with vitamin d? isn‘t it contained in a lot of fruits? i also know there are differences in organical and synthetic substances in their resorptive structure. think it might make the difference. just a question.

next topic for me is material/psychological codependency. and codependency of thought and action. dream and reality. also codependency of space and form. in a sense it‘s also about codependency of opposites and codependency of adjustment and counter reaction. what leads to interdependence of everything.

with objects it’s not so difficult to sort them out - if there is no future there is no past for them (well they have some kind of future even not with you, but mostly it doesn’t hurt letting them go). what about people though - i know the video about toxic people. but it’s not easy to let them go... especially if they take a peace of your heart. especially if they are not toxic but they are toxic to you because they neglect you the way you are. i guess that’s my father figure. and i guess not just mine. they want you to fit you in their shoes, they want the world to fit in their shoes and even if they want to change it‘s way, they still want us to fit in their shoes - but hey, women would like to do that, too. i liked the quote: if someone treats you like an option do yourself the favor to remove you from the equation. it’s not always possible though... there is another star in my life: it might not be possible not being influenced, but you can always choose what and who influences you. take my pride in quoting myself here (even though that turns out to be just nonsense if there is no one or nothing available to influence you or too much to influence you in a counterproductive way)

@SoonHei what is moving you soon hei? the car? the plane? the earth? your friend? the atoms? the space? the moon? the sun? let your mindmovie play that.

finally some quiet moments - the thing about deconstructing a home is: you find all that stuff of your past and feel you want to get rid of some ballast. and before you know it you get lost in defragmentation. the other thing is - a quiet well sorted and still chaotic home (problem of working with material) is something like a workspace - you know where you can find everything, so it’s your body mind prolongation. to deconstuct that sets me under stress, because i try to keep some kind of order, to set it up again. the new flat is completely different and it will have different boundaries/space than before. to think about the space and the hows and where’s. i guess it was fun once, but i moved too often and being a designer doesn’t help a bit, just makes it more complicated. at least it‘s good for decluttering the past.

mh - sometimes i don‘t get it who‘s wounds do i try to heal??? mine or the feminin or the masculine or the dragons or the minotaurs or everyone else’s or this generations or my parents or the worlds or is it just procrastination? or do i still search for love? or is it all the same? very confused. i guess i‘m the unmanifest ? in multiple directions. guess that feeling comes because i’m just in the process of deconstructing my entire home, in the middle of moving...at least that’s a manifestation.

hero with a thousand faces: there is another picture i‘m afraid i have to destroy - in my interpretation the jesus cross, is incomparable with the bodhi tree. guess it has nothing to do with enlightenment, he already was enlightened before if i got it right. jesus’s cross is more comparable with the ahimsa way of complete surrender to truth/peace. bringing down the slapping hand, in that sense through emotional movement. (what helped building the myth of martyrdom, what is even though sad, nothing wrong in battle for freedom and still happens everywhere someone stands up for truth/life/peace) today we would call it civil courage, oh that’s the german translation, sorry - moral courage. maybe it’s just the same.

guess i‘m rewriting the jungle book, hehe.

it’s this symbol i reflected that on .... it‘s about finding love (in general)

@cirkussmile that’s what i wanted to point at. how ever step outside of the dream if not stepping into it and then stepping into it again, this time from the other direction.

hero with a thousand faces: don’t know what to say about the labyrinth of the minotaur only that the minotaur is ambivalent, could be the hero as well - so the minotaur is something like a janus figure. and most eye opening that it‘s the feminine that holds the thread. difficult if that was cut off before... guess it‘s about maternal, material healing. both in the individual and material world. what leads to the one vs the others. guess the thread is there to sew the peaces together. what a mess. (that‘s why going from green to yellow too fast will not help a bit. green is holding the strings, as in earth, mother, peaceful protection. without constructing a nice green reflection, there won’t be a bright turquoise and no healing) listen to the jungle sound above and find yourself and your mother in it and don‘t remove yourself from the jungle. accept it, you want it to survive. ....and don’t kill anything, at least for a while.