now is forever

no wait a minute, who is the bubble? have you created a bubble? you just entered a bubble with thinking that. you are always a co creator... co dependent... there is no way you created that on your own. it’s nice though you want to take responsibility. but that’s a bubble, too. don’t load the whole bubble on your shoulders. that’s collecting stones again. i mean stones on your heart. just stop trying to heal the ego’s wounds of others. if you can - they are responsible for themselves. you always try to pour water on plants to make them grow. but the ego has to be cut off, of the water source first to realize it’s own source. see i’m also talking about half knowledge, it’s because we never know for sure what we create before we have created it. i don’t know, but would it help to let others trample on your ego, but not on your selfesteem? try to forget the shame it creates if you get trampled on, just have a good lough and learn. (guess it’s the you=i=we again, that is such an amazing insight, have at least some pride in understanding that)

@Jamie Universe never try to cure a real narcissist. would make you a codependency at one point - you would question yourself over and over again. hahaha some people would think that’s exactly what i need... you see how this is a trap? just contemplate on trump and you see the effect. (but no narcissist is the same, they are still humans, that’s the whole point, some are more humane than others) you might also contemplate about resiliency. @Cortex sorry for that kind of talk, if you are already selfaware of the fact that you are a narcissist it makes you a better person, have some selfesteem in that!

@martin_malin who are you talking to martin? just got confused, guess that’s the ticket for posting confusing questions.

@MrDmitriiV do you really think a cup is just useful? then you didn’t understand anything! nothing about the cup nothing about the emptiness! and i guess nothing about the nature of reality. you try to brew tea, while you didn’t yet shaped the cup. and you want to hold the ceramicist responsible just by doubting the clay. maybe it’s just not your cup of tea, but how will you ever know if you never tasted it. never reduce a cup on it’s impression.

that’s so touching zweistein, i guess we are able to take anyones perspective. but it’s difficult to do that with all at the same time. sometimes we just don’t want to take the others perspective because it hurts. and sometimes the others are not open enough. if we stop focusing on the humane stuff of the why. why someone is acting the way they do we are lost in translation again. there is a good quote of someone i know: “i can understand why they are acting that way, it just doesn’t mean i can accept it”. that’s where all struggles and differences begin. that’ partly a male problem, as they fight for independence and they learned to separate themselfs instead of finding the separation inside of oneness. they try to find the difference in the person not in the cause. or maybe they try to find the differences of cause to find the difference in the person... it’s a struggle for power.

@Cortex are you sure you are a narcissist? narcissists tend to have a huge ego and no self esteem. that’s a difference... they usually misinterprete their ego for self esteem. or do you have really no ego? and only self esteem? or do you have no ego and no self esteem? is this triggering you?

@Serotoninluv i had this image once about how humans are animals, putting themselves in cages, training themselves like they train animals and also start optimizing themselves like they optimized domestic animals. that’s fine to a certain point - but what happens if you set a chiwawa free? could it survive and run with the wolves? when does bacteria mutate in a sense that it gets pandemic? what kind of god are we to ourselves, if we think we are separated from what we came from? are we not just playing god? that‘s not moralizing, that’s instinct. hope it’s a survival instinct. and instinct is part of our intuition. i rather work on intuition than becoming a chihuhua jumping through loops. just think how it would feel if you were raised in a water tank. who’s heartbeat was it you heard? i had a similar less strong experience some days ago thinking of my mother...and what she gave to me.

finally found a fools song, i really like because it fits so well. fits the movie as well. the word fool is not appearing. i like it because it‘s a very broadly interpretable song and full of contrast - guess everyone could find some truth in it.

i came here at the point one story ended and another began. came here because nothingness called for eternity. came here to close a circle by braking it. i came here for magic in life. i came here to understand myself while trying to understand others. i came here to make others understand through understanding me. came here for empowerment, came here for the reason of self-illumination and illumination of the world. i came here because i'm a functioning paradox in a paradoxic universe. i'm a catch 22 in a catch 22 i'm a catch 44. what doesn't mean i have no problems. it just means i found a solution of how to make sense of my life while caring for others. realizing i need them the same as they need me. 4+4=8 and 8 is the symbol of eternity.

sometimes i ask myself if all the youtube videos about apple vinegar is not just a promotion of „that“ brand. because it’s promoted for so many things. i‘m sure apple vinegar is one of the most healthy vinegars you can get - would go for a biological one. as with everything it can be a poison if overdosed. it‘s also interesting to compare it to apple acid malate. apple acid is something else the body needs for certain regulations. but it‘s not contained in the vinegar as much as in whole fruits (also other fruits than apples) an apple a day...you know what i mean. it contains potassium... isn‘t a certain amount of potassium needed? especially for blood vessels. especially together with vitamin d? isn‘t it contained in a lot of fruits? i also know there are differences in organical and synthetic substances in their resorptive structure. think it might make the difference. just a question.

next topic for me is material/psychological codependency. and codependency of thought and action. dream and reality. also codependency of space and form. in a sense it‘s also about codependency of opposites and codependency of adjustment and counter reaction. what leads to interdependence of everything.

with objects it’s not so difficult to sort them out - if there is no future there is no past for them (well they have some kind of future even not with you, but mostly it doesn’t hurt letting them go). what about people though - i know the video about toxic people. but it’s not easy to let them go... especially if they take a peace of your heart. especially if they are not toxic but they are toxic to you because they neglect you the way you are. i guess that’s my father figure. and i guess not just mine. they want you to fit you in their shoes, they want the world to fit in their shoes and even if they want to change it‘s way, they still want us to fit in their shoes - but hey, women would like to do that, too. i liked the quote: if someone treats you like an option do yourself the favor to remove you from the equation. it’s not always possible though... there is another star in my life: it might not be possible not being influenced, but you can always choose what and who influences you. take my pride in quoting myself here (even though that turns out to be just nonsense if there is no one or nothing available to influence you or too much to influence you in a counterproductive way)

@SoonHei what is moving you soon hei? the car? the plane? the earth? your friend? the atoms? the space? the moon? the sun? let your mindmovie play that.

finally some quiet moments - the thing about deconstructing a home is: you find all that stuff of your past and feel you want to get rid of some ballast. and before you know it you get lost in defragmentation. the other thing is - a quiet well sorted and still chaotic home (problem of working with material) is something like a workspace - you know where you can find everything, so it’s your body mind prolongation. to deconstuct that sets me under stress, because i try to keep some kind of order, to set it up again. the new flat is completely different and it will have different boundaries/space than before. to think about the space and the hows and where’s. i guess it was fun once, but i moved too often and being a designer doesn’t help a bit, just makes it more complicated. at least it‘s good for decluttering the past.

mh - sometimes i don‘t get it who‘s wounds do i try to heal??? mine or the feminin or the masculine or the dragons or the minotaurs or everyone else’s or this generations or my parents or the worlds or is it just procrastination? or do i still search for love? or is it all the same? very confused. i guess i‘m the unmanifest ? in multiple directions. guess that feeling comes because i’m just in the process of deconstructing my entire home, in the middle of moving...at least that’s a manifestation.

hero with a thousand faces: there is another picture i‘m afraid i have to destroy - in my interpretation the jesus cross, is incomparable with the bodhi tree. guess it has nothing to do with enlightenment, he already was enlightened before if i got it right. jesus’s cross is more comparable with the ahimsa way of complete surrender to truth/peace. bringing down the slapping hand, in that sense through emotional movement. (what helped building the myth of martyrdom, what is even though sad, nothing wrong in battle for freedom and still happens everywhere someone stands up for truth/life/peace) today we would call it civil courage, oh that’s the german translation, sorry - moral courage. maybe it’s just the same.

guess i‘m rewriting the jungle book, hehe.

it’s this symbol i reflected that on .... it‘s about finding love (in general)

@cirkussmile that’s what i wanted to point at. how ever step outside of the dream if not stepping into it and then stepping into it again, this time from the other direction.

hero with a thousand faces: don’t know what to say about the labyrinth of the minotaur only that the minotaur is ambivalent, could be the hero as well - so the minotaur is something like a janus figure. and most eye opening that it‘s the feminine that holds the thread. difficult if that was cut off before... guess it‘s about maternal, material healing. both in the individual and material world. what leads to the one vs the others. guess the thread is there to sew the peaces together. what a mess. (that‘s why going from green to yellow too fast will not help a bit. green is holding the strings, as in earth, mother, peaceful protection. without constructing a nice green reflection, there won’t be a bright turquoise and no healing) listen to the jungle sound above and find yourself and your mother in it and don‘t remove yourself from the jungle. accept it, you want it to survive. ....and don’t kill anything, at least for a while.

first picture, hero with a thousand faces: the holy mary picture with jesus in her arms - the complexes campbell talks about afterwards are understood but the solution to it is only partly helpful. the solution is the dragon slayer...? maybe that’s the root cause of many problems, maybe that’s one cycle. but it misses out on the possibility to find peace in the reunification with the feminine by finding peace with the feminine. it‘s true though that the real influence of the mother has to go partly to unify completely with another woman - there has to be a hierarchy in an relationship. as long as the queen is the mother, there will not be another queen. if the mother steps back without slaying, she might not have to be slain at all. the dragon is a dream or an illusion - the dream of the mother as the unity (mother child) vs the woman behind the the dragon. so it’s also about letting the projections of the mother go to see the true nature of other women and accept them as different from the mother. so i guess to find unity for men it’s important to understand the negative aspects of their woman picture and also understand if they hold up their mother too high - in the end it’s a matter of both, loyalty in a relationship and projections. and in one aspect the dragonslayer is always righ (if the motherpicture is too present, it’s very difficult to find any woman sufficient at all) if we think of the dragon as part of two dragons, like they are found in asia, the dragon is also possibly the father aspect. slaying this dragon might be an alternative, too. in the sense of replacing that picture with another men picture. in the end we might need to understand, that both dragons are part of us and that we have to tame them instead of slaying them completely. (they themselves contain also two dragons and so forth) it‘s not about suppressing them - it’s about understanding them and about letting the negative aspects go. in taoism that picture is different in many aspects - they don’t kill the dragon at all. but east asian cultures also have never seen themselves separate from nature (at least some family traditions still keep that secret alive)

doing some reflection for men here: ? the heroes journey from joseph campbell is way to complicated... all this dying and rebirthing and killing and luring. it‘s like a labyrinth itself - how could anybody find a way out with that kind of story? it’s like a self fulfilling prophecy. you get neurotic just by believing in it completely. sorry to campell lovers. no offense. don‘t want to even disconstruct that. it’s an odyssey. think i‘ll do the most irritating picture comparison anyways.

so basically it is: find yourself in the jungle. and then eliminate it? what‘s left is only the jungle and the person who took the audio recording. it‘s only random noise if you remove yourself from the equation.

@Zweistein thank you for being here, thank you for naked ice skating and thank you for harvesting fruits together!

yes, so basically speaking it’s a strangeloop between theory building and embodiment. the line between the lines = the mirror between the lines (open or not) and the actual construction, that makes us step from one into the other colour or tier. think green is mostly still stuck in embodiment of creation, then. embodiment is through action and movement. what leads to process and process leads to theory building.