now is forever

just synchronizing periods. how is your day so far?

no of course i don’t let anyone steal my dreams. no one can steal them. the thoughts are free (very nice german poem and song). but it’s not only about freedom of thoughts here as constant manipulation is not building bridges it’s only an ego survival game if only used to take one selfie after the other on the bridge and then returning only to the point we left of - what point has the bridge? say cheese ?

to realize the fear is not a fear...

i know if i wouldn’t i couldn’t talk about it...

there is no fear, there is only not doing. you can annoy leo with other things - he seems never to get annoyed, because there are so many ways to do so, indefinitely.

first of all tomorrow has to die! and excuses have to die! (just noticing that... it’s nr 1 on the list)

no, i know that - how do you think some people manage to build cars? it’s all about the assembly line! you can’t build a car in a boat factory. so you build yourself a small factory to make it easier to die.

mh maybe you need to start to be an inventor of yourself. you know there wouldn’t be a light bulb if no one would have invented it. it’s not about what you are ( well it is, no one can rob you of that) but inventing in changing small things. you could change the room you live in by placing the tv in another room and making your room a place of visions. the way you create your room can influence your habits. it’s more profound than the law of attraction. it’s the law of becoming.

everything you want!

yes but it’s not about dreaming up bridges, it’s about building them. just because you can dream a bridge doesn’t bring you to the other side of the water.

but doesn’t the panic come because of other reasons? i thought it had something to do with doing or not doing certain kind of habits... maybe you can start doing whatever is counterproductive to panick.

well it may sound so easy i know it’s not, but you can make it. (even tho technically i don’t know what we are talking about) how was the panic night? was it very panicky? what will you change today?

mhhh what part of you? you could die in the jungle! i mean what sense does the panic make if you can’t change it anyways. but you can change it tomorrow.

what are you running from? am i allowed to ask that? is it something specific you have to do? is it because it’s monday tomorrow? do you want to listen to the jungle sounds tonight? and whatever you need to do you will just really do it tomorrow? no running away!

@mandyjw would it matter to a soul? really would it matter to god? in what do you believe in if you would believe mandy?

thank you shin ? it’s ok. i would have just turned the screen off if i wanted to be really really alone... i mean it’s the jungle here now.

it’s not difficult it’s impossible. everything leaves traces. what that means in the sense of light i can’t say, though.

happy you like it! i once let it run the whole night, it was really interesting i dreamt a lot but i also woke up a lot and it wasn’t exactly the deepest sleep, although it was really nice, it felt like sleeping in the jungle.

i never made it to the last hours - i always fell asleep. i‘ll listen to it, thank you. i love it very much, i guess we all pay for romantizising about the world and trying to make it whole again - paralysis is the worst. the jungle needs a voice for us to notice it.

you mean in yourself?

sorry guys i need to use this space for an instance, to do some journaling. everything i write is not related to previous conversation. i need this journal to survive. we can talk later. i‘m surviving some kind of willinglessness to survive... i also survive loneliness... and i survive a sort of laziness about everything that seems mechanical. i‘m surviving the idea that if i once start getting rid of all my problems i won’t have time for the interesting and beautiful things in life anymore. actually surviving is all i do, so it’s really only about a better or worse way to survive. i notice, that i also survive not being able just to notice.

well - they say the devil is a squirrel because it hides a looooooot of nuts, always busy.

but leo, the acorns that grow are only growing because the squirrels ? forgot them in the ground - the others die off because no one planted them....

don’t eat your dog!

mhh ok... difficult - the artist who swallowed the universe? what shape will i have?