Equanimitize

These things don't just happen overnight (usually), it takes time. Start taking steps to speak your truth even when your voice shakes. It could be setting your boundaries, it could be speaking up on an unpopular opinion, it could just be being aware and holding some space for yourself in any given situation. Bring your awareness to times when you have fear and when you have opportunities to walk towards fear (false.edvidence.appearing.real). Try and take steps everyday, it's the "unimportant" "small" steps that you do that really matters. Keep setting your intention to evolve and grow as a human being-this means walking towards things you rather not. Hope this helps

If you have the luxury, wake up alarm clock free. 7-9 hours, preferably 8+ hours. When the sun goes down, it is time for your body to go down. Same when sun rises. Habitulize evening routine so that the above is satisfied. When people say insomnia, to me that means the monkey mind is taking over and people get lost in thoughts and then start to worry about not getting sleep and it’s a self perpetuating problem. For this I’d say meditation would be great. Of course if it’s a legit medical issue, probably a good idea to get some sort of specialist to help as sleep is foundational. @Michael569 Thanks for the reference, I’m going to check it out.

How’s your sleep schedule, diet, exercise, and meditation routine look like?

Embodiment is the key 51/49 comes to mind. That if someone’s pain is perceived greater then keeping the status quo, they will be motivated to seek help. If not, it is very difficult to convince someone to go on the self actualization journey. When the student is ready the teacher will appear.

You can also check out Mankind Project. I don’t have any experience with them, but have heard good things.

Stage Orange running rampant is part to blame but also at a deep level people eat unhealthy foods because they haven't found out how to truly love themselves. Eating unhealthy is simply a subversion from them dealing with the pain that they are avoiding.

What I've learned is that if you put your focus and awareness on any area of your life, and you are driven to change that aspect of you-it will inevitably happen. You can check out the very popular Charisma on Command youtube channel to get a start. Charisma stems from Confidence, Confidence stems from Self Esteem, Self Esteem stems from knowing you have the capability to take on what life throws at you.

This and the fact that you are contemplating whether or not to join the Military, and that you watch Actualized videos is probably a good sign that the Military is not a good fit. There's a lot of this for sure I'd also say that for someone who is at Stage Red or someone who is Solid Blue the Military may actually be a solid option, it gives someone an infrastructure and values such as rules, regulations, discipline, camaraderie, honor, commitment, and courage to name a few-something they probably didn't have at their previous level of development. Do you need the Military to pass through Blue or to evolve as a human being? Absolutely not, but I think many people on this forum are looking at it from a stage Green perspective, not really understanding the purpose or the view of that individual that one is seeing it from. I think the Military in a lot of ways, is a mechanism for someone to embark on their Hero's journey albeit in a low consciousness way-but try telling some gang banger who lives in L.A. to go meditate, do kriya yoga, and read about Abraham Maslow-not that easy. The Military is simply a channel for boys to enter "manhood" and to embark on their journey-as a society I understand the purpose for the Military hopefully one day we can transcend this-as the level of consciousness of our society increases the need for the Military decreases.

I'd recommend reading this book as it will give you a great platform to understand self esteem, theres a lot of actionable steps and exercises in this book as well.

As long as you know where it is that you are going. You won't find peace and independence with no vision/purpose.

I understand where you are coming from. I'd also say that I don't think you give yourself enough credit, you're 23 and you are a solid contributor to Actualized forum. You understand a lot of these concepts, you are very intelligent. The fact that you are in the self actualization process and you are actually serious about it is absolutely HUGE in of itself. The only thing I can think about is maybe you just need to go on some sort of Hero's journey, you need to go through some sort of gauntlet, some sort of right of passage, to give you a foundation to stand on and move forward. Something where you can have a totally new experience about life, and where you can leave your family for some time. The Military would make sense if you were at Stage Blue, but I think your level of consciousness and development would not mesh well with the Military. What's stopping you from just leaving your house and joining a monastery/ashram for a few years? Hope this helps Unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life are not signs of mental illness, but of growing intelligence. -Ken Wilber

@dude Inspiring, nice videos Man. I hope you get where it is that you are trying to go.

I am not a single parent, but I am a Dad. I'd say there's a lot of Cons to being a parent and trying to date, but of course that doesn't mean to use it as a crutch. A pro for being a parent is that having children can really skyrocket your development, in fact children are the best mirrors for your internal psyche. They will always show you how much more you need to work on yourself-and of course they are beautiful creatures filled with authenticity and love.

You have to be careful with this-you don't ever want to lose your masculine edge. You want to harness that power. The way I see it is that to be vulnerable is to be courageous to be courageous is to be Alpha. It is not an either or thing it is one in the same. I am assuming that you are talking about toxic masculinity, which is just a boy trapped in a Mans body trying to act out his Manhood in dysfunctional ways (I know this from experience). A really good book on the shadow aspects of Masculinity is King, Warrior, Magician, Lover

Deep connection comes easier the more you know, accept, and love thyself. How can one ask for a deep connection, when the one wanting to go deep cant do it him or her self. Eye contact and body language will either open or close the person up that you are engaging with. In order to go deep you have to be confident and at the same time willing to be vulnerable and of course grounded in the present moment (Less Monkey Mind more Feeling). You also have to be willing to ask deep questions, but the questions won't go anywhere if the above is not there from the get go.

Yes, I agree this is an excellent resource. You can also check out Ben Greenfield (Biohacker type) and David Goggins when you need motivation Intravenously he will make you want to run through a wall and somehow your chest gets more hair when you listen to him.

Sometimes the brutal fucking price is disguised as the opening to something much better and liberating. Maybe this wont help in the here and now, but one day it will. As long as you keep searching for the Truth.

Never heard of it but this is an interesting sentence: In Spinozism, the concept of a personal relationship with God comes from the position that one is a part of an infinite interdependent "organism." Thanks for the knowledge.

What would happen if you brought obsession in pursuit of the Truth (Enlightenment)? Do you think Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr, and The Buddha were obsessed or passionate? Good contemplation, thanks for the insights.

Why does is it have to be fake? Why can't you interact with people and be 100% real, most people on social media are fake-you're right. Imagine, you being vulnerable, loving, and compassionate with the words you write how big of change it will be and how much people will notice and resonate. Imagine if you actually provide someone value when you interact with them how much of a difference it'll make. People can usually tell when something is fake based on how you write it and whether or not you actually put some time into what you are writing. If you are genuinely interested in something or you genuinely like something then express that-it's good karma and will come back to you. Of course if you don't really like something or not interested in it then don't comment on it. The problem with this approach is it takes time and dedication-but if you can have more heart to hearts you will build genuine followers-not fake ones. If you don't like social media as a medium, maybe you have to go old school and network at conferences, etc. or maybe different forums or blogs. Remember don't hate the players, hate the game or maybe you can change the game by being a game changer?

@AquariusNot sure what your employment situation is, whether or not you want to be an entrepreneur, or escape wage slavery. But, there’s nothing better to become solid Orange then embarking on your entrepreneurial journey or at minimum make an effort to climb the success hierarchy. Of course you can do this with your higher self values. @SFRL Not a big deal, but I think Ken Wilber is probably Turquoise.

@Superfluo A good rule of thumb that I use is your biggest opportunity for growth in your professional/business life are developing STRENGTHS, the biggest opportunity for growth in your personal life is always developing your WEAKNESS.

Right on, the reason I ask, would it be better for you to just finish it? Does the degree have any external value? Will it help you get a job? It seems you don't value it that much which is fine, but how does the world view it? Is it worth any money? Why do you think an economics degree will be worth more? I think a lot people get stuck in college because they don't have a vision or purpose so they literally tread water for years not knowing where they are going. Maybe this is the case with you, I don't know. If you know where it is that you are going then go ahead, but if you have one foot in what foot out it seems like you'll probably find your self in the same predicament. Theres definitely something to be said about finishing what you started. Theres also something to be said about not wasting your time/money doing low ROI tasks that won't contribute to your vision/purpose.

This is great. For sure I'll be there for Miami. May even fly out to L.A. Thank you

Here is a simple worldview questionnaire. It may help you figure out where you are on the Spiral. I am not sure how accurate it is I am heavy Orange at this point in my life. This is what I scored on it: Worldview you identify with most: Integrative (10) Worldview you identify with least: Traditional (-9) https://www.culturalevolution.org/worldview-questionnaire/