ZZZZ

Intuitively I know what you are referring to, although I would not refer to this as a "flow" state. Like when you finally regain a higher level of consciousness and go "Damn! I wasn't being conscious that entire time." I still think this is something else entirely, but perhaps you are referring to "hyperfocus?" See this excerpt from the Flow (psychology) wikipedia page: "Flow shares many characteristics with hyperfocus. However, hyperfocus is not always described in a positive light. Some examples include spending 'too much' time playing video games or getting side-tracked and pleasurably absorbed by one aspect of an assignment or task to the detriment of the overall assignment. In some cases, hyperfocus can 'capture' a person, perhaps causing them to appear unfocused or to start several projects, but complete few."

You now know through direct experience and contemplation that you don't exist as an individual self. There is no intrinsic life purpose. Many of the distractions in your life have lost their appeal and meaning. Everything feels trivial and pointless. Now what?

@Serotoninluv @Leo Gura Of course What a cool experience to have, and on an internet forum nonetheless. Thanks for taking the time to talk me through this! Everything I've learned is so crystal clear in this moment, and much more salient as my own realization. The ego is so deceptive, and it is amazing how far we can stray from the truth when we get caught in a web of self-deception and confusion. I need to give this some time to integrate, and keep up with better meditation practices so I don't digress this much again.

@Serotoninluv That made me smile. That which is aware must have been deceived, but it is hard to tell whether it is any closer to the truth and the little bastard is grasping for straws, or if it is all an illusion. EDIT: Hahahaha there's nothing to be done, that's it. My heart is racing and I have the jitters.

Of course, he's just a pursuasive little bastard at times.

@Serotoninluv It is the only thing of true importance in my life right now. It is taking a lot of effort to continue playing the game of life I have set up for myself while all of my attention is focused on this elephant in the corner who calls himself me, but who I know is a fraud. He never shuts up now that I see him there for what he truly is lol

It's scared I'll know it's a load of shit. It will lose its importance or die entirely. No reason will ever seem satisfactory, so I will simply do it (when I am able). @Aquarius Journaling isn't a bad idea. I've seen it suggested a bunch, so maybe I will give it a shot. Thanks for your suggestions and support.

It is an ego trick, but also a true curiosity. Sometimes I think I post just to answer things myself and flesh out what is going on in my head. I am only going to do more consciousness work, not less. I've found that even when things look bleak like they do now, their true nature tends to be much more profound than I could have originally understood in terms of a concept, pre-experience. @Leo Gura is probably right in stating that I am still relying on a majority of concept, but I have had some realizations lately that are in line with what I only took at face value before. This will probably develop further with more work. I am not sure what you mean by tier 2. Sometimes I wonder if I have a love/belonging deficiency, but I usually feel fairly content with the relationships I have. I definitely feel okay with esteem and the basic needs, leaving me with the rest to deal with.

@Leo Gura I'm not quite there, but getting there. My ego/mind has been very disgruntled with all of the shifts I have taken lately, and that has left me with a mindset that has been pretty bleak overall. The rest is very liberating. I continue to struggle with letting go when I know I will be left with nothing. I get a further glimpse of the true nature of things, and then I find a way to trick myself back into identification with that which I know I am not. It's like my mind does not want me to be free of the idea that I am the ego, and now I face a scary wall of nothingness that offers no reason to surpass it. I am told it is worth pursuing, but I have yet to fully understand why.

What you might come to realize is that you are always (or never) there when life is going by, and that your idea of "you" can shift to a point where this distinction may matter much less. I suppose it depends on what your definition of a "flow state" is, but in my mind, it almost necessitates a loss of time, space, and self. When you finish your task or exit flow, you go "wow, where has the time gone?" Nothing else invades your focus, including your idea that you are a "self" performing the task, and aware of such a thing. The task is simply performed. EDIT: Perhaps the flow state is a higher quality consciousness that you are interpreting as lower because you do not fully understand its implications.

Y so serious?

I wasn't aware research chemical companies sold 5-meo-dmt. I am going to have to look into that now

For me, the flow state is less aware of the ego than what I typically think of "mindfulness." When I am mindful, I usually recognize the entitity that I sometimes identify as myself (the ego) is experiencing something, whereas my sense of self disappears out of consciousness entirely in the flow state, because I am so focused on the task at hand. Sometimes these states eb and flow with one another, but nowadays I tend to view the presence of an ego as just another phenomenon, rather than identifying with it as myself.

I will mention that music has always been incredible on MDMA and psychadelics in a way that I am not sure I will ever comprehend. How certain sounds illicit an image or a feeling, that is amazing. I guess I just don't feel that on the day-to-day, and any song seems to lose its "magic" after just a couple playthroughs. I will put on some higher BPM music to workout, something calmer to help relax, etc. I just don't find myself wanting to turn it on or enjoying it spontaneously like I maybe once did. Further thought has made me realize that it's also a chore to find music that others also enjoy that I don't find terrible, or the other way around.

I've noticed that I listen to music a lot less now, particularly in the car when I'm alone. I used to think sitting in silence in the car was pretty odd whenever I saw someone else do it, but I've just gotten used to it now. I'm starting to think it's because I'm present more and content without having music on just for the "noise." I think another part of it is that I don't really identify with the party/money/BS lyrics anymore, and I'm perking up to them more (especially in radio songs). I guess I just don't have a lot of music I love, in general (genre or artist). There's always a time for certain kinds of music, I just haven't been too compelled to seek it out lately. Has anyone else experienced this as they've been working on mindfulness practices, or is it just me?

Hey guys, I am interested in checking out some other content on top of the typical videos from Leo, and I was wondering what other people in the community like to watch or listen to. Leo's book-list is a good resource for what to read, but I am interested in media content with this post. I've found that if I can find another perspective or an offshoot of a similar topic, it helps me understand some of the original concepts in a way that I wouldn't have with just a single explanation (such as those presented by Leo). It doesn't necessarily have to be strictly non-duality, self-actualization, etc. but anywhere along that vein is fine. I guess my contribution to this topic will be the Joe Rogan Experience (JRE). Many people have probably heard of him, but I like hearing his perspective on things, and enjoy hearing the experts he has on his show. I have off-shoot interests in MMA, substance use, exercise/nutrition, psychology, comedy, etc. so I usually really enjoy his episodes. A slightly more relevant one would be Alan Watts' lectures. My main problem with those is that I never know if I've heard a particular lecture before, because they are constantly being re-uploaded for views. He usually has some pretty profound insights that I am able to appreciate.

I was going to mention that the legal benefits would be one of my only extrinsic draws towards it, but then I just realized you could probably obtain most of those same rights in a domestic partnership with the proper contracts etc. Just seems like quite a bit of headache.

I just wanted to hear about other people's thoughts on marriage, and maybe some other cultural/societal norms such as monogamy. I grew up in a separated home as a kid, and then watched my Dad divorce his second wife of a decade while I was in college. This obviously has affected my view of marriage and intimate relationships in general. My grandpa was never married to his final partner on paper, although they lived as if they were for many years. That seems like a fairly logical route to take, and makes even more sense if they will be earning significantly more than their spouse and do not want to risk losing large sums of money in a potential divorce. I guess if I fall in love with someone and I know it will mean a lot to them, then I don't see myself fighting the status quo. Although I just think it is kind of a silly and archaic concept overall, and don't like blindly following traditions like that. And a short leap from this line of thought brings me to the idea of monogamy. Obviously this has been deeply entrenched in our culture for various reasons, and you could probably even argue for biological reasons... But from what I understand, there are actually some very happy/functional polygamous groups in the US and elsewhere. That almost seems a little too taboo for me to be able to explore properly (for professional reasons and otherwise). I just don't think I would be able to live authentically that way given my current circumstances, although I could potentially see myself happy in the proper poly relationship. What are your thoughts on these?

Thanks for all of the suggestions guys! A lot of them sound great. I'll start doing some exploring on my free time, and let you know what I think.

Got it, thanks for the clarification!

Maybe this has been addressed in the past, but I have been wondering where this distinction was made... Leo obviously promotes the use of psychadelics for spiritual work (for good reason), and has recently promoted the use of nootropics such as modafinil etc. However, he has suggested that one must rid themselves of smoking weed and other similar habits/substances in order to progress with spirituality practices. Intuitively I understand the low-consciousness activities that stem from chronic marijuana use, but where is this distinction really made in terms of which substances are meant to be used, and for what purposes, etc? Even caffeine use is altering our state of consciousness, and I believe Leo even condoned this at one point in regards to meditation (I could be wrong). Yet he claims modafinil and armodafinil can aid in this sort of spiritual work? I guess I just have some hazy recolection of his various recommendations, and I wanted to see what everyones thought were as I adjust my habits moving forward in terms of substance use.

I guess that's not really what I was trying to get at with this post. I remember Leo saying one should cut out weed like they should with video games, TV, etc. and even recall him saying something similar about caffeine/coffee. I am just wondering where exactly he is making that distinction with certain substances while promoting others. It just seemed like there was some inconsistency in what I've heard him suggesting, but I'm probably just missing his underlying reasoning.

I think you're vastly underestimating the interest this would draw if you advertised it properly (especially in a YouTube video).

I think part of the addiction you're experiencing is due to the tobacco that you're smoking (like you said), although I do acknowledge that it is possible to get addicted to weed alone. I also acknowledge that mixing tobacco with weed can also be very stimulating and enjoyable. However, cutting out the tobacco could help you tremendously here. Maybe play with the ratio you're using, or add less and less each time and commit to not buying or using more once you run out. It sounds like you might be getting something out of smoking weed in terms of creativity, or even socially, if you are partaking with your friends while making music etc... This can make quitting altogether that much more difficult. Perhaps one solution would be to set aside a time each day to smoke, with a specific task you want to accomplish. Instead of just haphazardly smoking. This way you can limit how much you are consuming, keep your tolerance down, and don't let the day run away from you. Go okay... I am going to work on this song tonight, and allow yourself a single joint after 5 PM each day or something along those lines. That way you have something to look forward to, you can still tap into those creative benefits, and you can give yourself a solid guideline to build some discipline off of. However, it sounds like you won't be able to afford it at all and that you should potentially be prioritizing other things with your finances, in which case, cutting it out entirely would probably be of most benefit for you. I think your two solutions in that scenario are 1) Replacing the weed smoking with new and better habits/hobbies, and 2) Changing your outlook on life, particularly when you are sober. I personally battle with cutting weed out of my life, and I do it off and on with some success... I find that once you stop entirely and don't have any around, it becomes MUCH easier to live without it (almost effortless). It seems like certain living situations I've been in or habits I've built have made it easier/harder for me to kick the habit. Maybe you need to start taking steps towards changing your environment or influences from others. I take a course that talks about influencing behavioral changes, and if you don't want to make the change, you simply won't. If you are no longer able to smoke, perhaps you need to sit down and draw up an objective list of why it would benefit you to stop. Think about things like finances, lung health, legality, etc. Just based on your writing, it seems like you are attributing a lot of your issues to NOT having weed or being sober, when I think you will find they are completely subjective and unrelated if you really do some thinking on the subject. In fact, all of your "problems" are fabricated, but that's a topic for another time. Replacing the habit can be accomplished in many ways: Start drinking herbal tea when you would normally smoke a joint. There are some varieties like kava or even just caffeinated black tea that are very aromatic, warm, and pleasant. Find some new hobbies outside of music; it can be easy to get obsessive about something if it is all that you do, and a different perspective could actually help your creative process and distract you from the same habits you are probably stuck in right now. Start exercising (even lightly), it can clear your head and make you feel cleaner/happier. This is a very good natural solution for anxiety due to endorphin release, etc. There are many things to occupy yourself with if you just sit down, try not to get too frantic, and think. Anyways, hope some of this helped.

I'm not enlightened by any means, but I've just recently gotten to a point where I can go short periods of time without thinking anything at all. In fact, I usually ruin this state by going "Wow I feel good, this is great, I'm not thinking about a thing... Dammit!" I got to this point by realizing that there is a distinct difference between experiencing and thinking. You can experience all of those things without any dialogue whatsoever inside of your head. Until you get that down, all sorts of things might pop into your head. Another big step for me was stopping any sort of labeling I was giving my thoughts. Whether you are admiring a woman's hairstyle or judging her for her fat gut as you walk by, both are just meaningless thoughts. After all, you're the one experiencing the woman, why do you have to talk to yourself about it too? Just a few insights I've had lately. EDIT: @Quanty mention of paying attention to the breath is a very powerful tool to quiet the monkey mind. I actually created a little habit of forcibly exhaling if I caught myself drifting off mentally throughout the day, and that helped quite a bit. Oh, and I'm also reading the same book... Maybe 150 pages in. Great so far!