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There are a lot of multi millionaires who didnt win the lottery. They diligently worked every day until they finally reached their goals, instead of something just falling into their lap and happening. You are looking for a spiritual get rich quick scheme. The "raised awareness" is what leads to enlightenment. Psychedelics simply jump start the process.

Eyes open, it's almost easier that way now. It's actually pretty neat to finally understand this stuff at a visceral level. I'm realizing that meditation is indeed "practice," but that every moment of the day is no different. I just have to remember to stay grounded

It sounds like you are taking all of this a bit too seriously mate. It's great that you are pursuing healthy habits in your life, but at the end of the day, you need to realize that none of it matters if you can't just sit back and enjoy it. It sounds like you might be a little too concerned with your outward appearance, your "progress," or what other people think about you. You will start enjoying yourself a lot more when you can just be yourself and be a little "weird" without having to be the macho enlightened popular guy. Just be yourself and have some fun. Things will clear up as you age and get through this turbulent (but fun) period of your life. You'll wish you were a teenager again too.

If they aren't receptive to your latest life choices, you don't have to share the details with them. It's nice to surround yourself with people that will accept you in your most authenti state, but others will never come around. It is good that you are realizing the projections and delusions of others, but you should not hate them or criticize them for what they are doing. Use this as a challenge or a learning tool. So what if they project on you? So what if they laugh? Just smile and enjoy life. It's such a wonderful thing

I've been acing all of my exams since taking the afinils. Largely due to a change in my goals/motivation, but the extra alertness and additional "useful" hours I get at the end of each day have been undeniably helpful. Edit: just dont ignore your sleep. I can even nap on the stuff if I'm deprived at all. However, I am an easy sleeper

MDMA was a hell of a drug when I took it. You will most certainly have insights and outlooks that you could consider mystical in the right setting. It can just be fairly rough to come off of (although bearable). Pairing additional antioxidants and supplements with it can really help in this regard. I'd probably try psychadelics first if that's what you're after and you've never tried them. I don't think I've ever been as genuinely happy and positive as I was on MDMA. You really experience pure love while you're rolling. Your mind becomes so sharp and clear. Nothing like alcohol at all. I actually felt like there was a physical wall between myself and my friends drinking in the kitchen. It seemed so clearly like poison in that moment. Very interesting stuff. Give it a try sometime if you find the opportunity. I had one bad experience rolling that made me quite anxious for a while, but I was much less spiritually developed at that time.

Watch Leo's latest 10 Ox video. It sounds like you are trying to throw away your snare before catching the rabbit.

I am not the expert here, but I will give you some limited information to start: You can purchase a drug testing kit that is used by police officers in the field to verify a type of drug or determine whether it is contaminated with another. I believe they are fairly inexpensive and accessible (~$30 on Amazon? Idk, I'm working on memory). People use them at music festivals and such. Maybe someone else can elaborate. And generally speaking, salts and crystals tend to be more pure and harder to fake/contaminate than crushed powers, pressed pills, blotters, etc. Your safest bets would probably be natural products such as mushrooms, which would then be highly dependent on identification.

The root of all of our problems right there

Is that modafinil? Take 200 mg next time (or 150 on an empty stomach) just so you can better pick up on the effects for when you dose lower in the future. They can be very subtle, and they probably should be at proper doses. Don't over think it.

Sounds fairly moderate to me mate. Seems like you are putting some thought into your "trips," so that's all that matters.

I'd say a good rule of thumb is to wait at least a month between trips, because I think many psychadelic compounds take around this long to recover from tolerance levels. However, I find that it typically takes me a couple months to integrate all of my new insights and wisdom to really benefit from another trip. If you ever find yourself tripping with diminished returns, either physiologically or even at the level of your perceptions/insights, I would say you have gone too far. Of course special occasions with friends or one time opportunities have to be evaluated on a case by case basis. I've found that tripping is really something you have to respect and take seriously. It would be extremely unfortunate if you were to have a bad trip and muddy the rest of your future experiences. Perhaps you should limit yourself to once every 3 months or something and plan it like a vacation. That way you can prepare properly and hold yourself accountable (until the urge to continue doing them subsides for a while).

@Leo Gura This is slightly off topic, but your mention of Anicca led me to look up the Indian concepts of atman and atta. Can you explain the difference between these and the freudian ego (perhaps in one of your videos if not here).

Building muscle and gaining weight are two different things. The easier of the two for me tends to be building muscle, as my metabolism is very high (and I assume yours must be too if you are even struggling with this/asking this question). Every pound of muscle takes much more energy to "feed" on a daily basis relative to fat, therefore it is possible to burn fat and build muscle at the same time and maintain your overall weight. This will then require more food to maintain the same amount of weight over time. The posts by Angelo are all you really need to understand. A certain height and weight (BMI) will require a certain average number of calories to maintain per day based on your activity level. Just look up a "weight gain calculator" to figure out what this number is for you. If you exceed this amount of calories by about 500 per day on a weekly basis, I believe you can gain around a half pound to a pound a week. Lower fat diets will tend to put you on the half pound side of things. If you are like me, you will struggle to eat enough to EXCEED these calories and remain at maintenance levels. This will lead to the phenomenon I described above where you are replacing fat with muscle by working out without the calories needed to put on any additional weight. Basic nutrition is all you need to know to maintain your "healthy diet" during this process. Lean protein sources will be your friend if you want to "clean bulk," but fattier foods tend to be more calorie dense. Peanutbutter, steak, chicken, milk, fish, eggs, nuts, potatos, etc. are all natural things that you probably consider healthy which are also great for weight gain. Just research those foods and you should be well on your way. Personally I skimp on the vegetables occasionally since they tend not to have very many calories, but it is important to remain as balanced as possible if you can.

Ooh, I wish I had a way to microdose. Maybe next time. This is exactly what I was looking for, thank you. My main worry is that I might somehow fall asleep, but the foreign environment and water might help with that. Perhaps I'll give it a shot with some more consistent meditation practices.

Hey guys. I saw sensory deprivation chambers mentioned a few times, and decided to look into them. Does anyone have any experience they would like to share? I've noticed the spas etc. in my area refer to this as a 1 hour float, 2 hour float, etc. but I'm assuming this is just a more pleasant way to describe the "sensory deprivation chamber." I was considering paying for an hour long session and meditating while focusing on the breath, but I want to get the best bang for my buck if I'm able to make it more profound in any way. Any tips/pointers?

Live your life to the fullest. The infant is not expected to act like the todler, the teenager like the adult, the adult like the elder, etc. Every single one of us goes through these phases, and you shouldn't jump too far ahead in your mind about what you should be doing with your life at any given time. Sexual urges are natural, and as long as you decide to pursue them in a healthy way, they can be very enjoyable and powerful experiences towards understanding yourself and the world, if acted upon responsibly. Just enjoy being 17 in this present moment, intead of worrying so much. Whether you lose your virginity or not will not affect the path you have decided to take.

Good explanation, thanks. Some people get very offended about the power of their crystals lol

I am genuinely curious. How can an object such as an herb or a rock affect the "energy" of a place if it is not simply a mental projection? What is actually being changed? Why sage and not horse dung? How does the energy linger? Does it not seep through the floorboards and travel through walls, or are we considering it something physical that must remain in place until its container is opened and aired out? I just want to understand.

You're probably tired of hearing it, but try to have a really strong psychadelic experience if you can. It will give you a glimpse of what there is to achieve, and give you a new perspective on all sorts of stuff you never could have even imagined in your current state.

@kieranperez I once dropped acid and went on a hike with some friends. Most of them were sober and I was not. I am much more experienced than they are with hiking, and generally just a much more effective leader. Once we finally made it to the trail sign, I looked at the sign and all of the multicolored trail markers just swirled together and I didn't take the time to figure them out. I simply just didn't care, we were going to hike the actual trail and just figure it out. My friends didn't even think to take a picture of the map either, so we just went onward. Part of the way through some of my friends were joking about not knowing where we were or that we were lost. Idk about you, but when I am tripping hard, it is difficult for me to determine when people are being sarcastic or serious, and I thought they were just fucking with me. I was also relying on them to have their shit together, which turned out to be a mistake. At a certain point I realized they were serious, and I finally had everyone stop where they were. The magical thing about this moment was that I wasn't worried at all. We found ourselves in this unfortunate situation that normally would have sent someone into a panic. It was getting late, we were fairly tired, low on food and water, and had no idea where we were in the middle of Appalachian Trail. However, it didn't matter, this was just the situation we were in. Everything was perfect in this moment no matter what the circumstances. Panicking wasn't going to change anything, and deep down inside I knew we would be okay. Even if it meant sleeping outside or wandering around for hours, the trails were populated enough that I knew we would find our way. The one member of the party that was still tripping balls lead us all back up the trail we came down on. I was so present and amazed by particular trees and rocks that I remembered every single one of them at forks in the trail, and took all of the proper turns we needed to get back to where we were. My friends were bitching and nervous the entire time, but they had the same ability to remain as calm as me, and experience the true awe of nature for what it was. It is so beautiful, but will swallow you up just as quickly if you aren't careful. I guess my point with this story is that you will find yourself in some uncomfortable positions sometimes, but it is only your outlook that makes it uncomfortable. Sometimes it's easy to rush ahead in your mind and yearn for some future that you've imagined, but it is important to realize that you only ever get the present, and that that present is always perfect in every way. There's always a bright side to the present moment, you just have to find it. You should be able to laugh hysterically at all of life. It's all so trivial and yet so amazing at the same time. You will get back up the trail, it will be okay.

I find that modafinil makes my head feel racy if I contemplate something intensely for longer periods of time, or if I cannot find the answer to something quickly (like during an exam). It is uncomfortable, but I've also found that my mind is usually able to brute force an answer more often than not. Uncomfortable, but effective. I am just not sure how long I could tolerate that personally. Dose will be of more importance with this, and it could be a unique phenomenon I experience. A low dose to help you focus through the later hours of your day (taken 8-12 hours earlier) could be of some benefit if you find yourself losing focus or falling asleep.

Masturbate regularly whenever you feel compelled to act on your lust. Use your imagination instead of porn, it will make you feel like you are missing out on something. Don't text with your dick in your hand, your opinion of that girl will certainly change when you finish (even if you aren't literally jerking it). Stay occupied with other things. Workout. That's pretty much all I have for you lol.

The first girl I thought to bring up non-duality etc. with in person was one I dated for about a month and a half. She wasn't very bright, and she was pretty solidly stage blue in retrospect. It was like talking to a brick wall... I actually don't think I've been more incompatible with anyone I've dated. She had a great body though

I've had experience with this off and on for a short period as well. It's almost certainly psycological, but there are several things that will help. Ultimately, once you get past it and things begin to "work" as they should, the problem tends to work itself out (at least with the same partner). You may just need a good win to get your head right. You will remember the feeling and satisfaction next time, which will help keep you on track. The anxiety of a new partner or further disappointment also comes into play here, which you will want to learn how to eliminate. Another thing I realized is that often times you either do not know what you want to stay stimulated, or she does not know. You have to be a bit selfish in this regard and keep yourself going somehow. Once you're actually doing the deed, things seem to go into autopilot at that point. Condoms used to cause me a lot of issue here... Finding it, taking it out, figuring out which way to orient it, and then aw shit you are too distracted and back to square one with a floppy tube of latex in the way. On the other side of the token, finding a "go-to" activity you enjoy will ensure that you can get back on track or get going just before you need to perform. Limit porn, get generally more comfortable with your partner, don't blame yourself (or anything else), and just stay lighthearted about it all. It happens to the best of us. There's nothing wrong with you. Women used to get so self conscious about not being attractive enough etc. when this used to happen to me, and it would only make things worse. Familiarity is the key; with yourself and what you like, and with your partner (assuming you are genuinely attracted). EDIT: I just read your responses and you sound exactly like me. Use bigger condoms if you need them. Trojan magnums are my go-to. Don't be afraid to ask for head or "a hand" prior to putting it on so you can make that perilous transition. Some girls don't understand men need lubrication too. You'll get it worked out eventually.