winterknight

Beautiful. "Simple being" and "surrender" -- yes, that's just so... you've touched something deep.

Wonderful, glad to hear it. You are indeed not alone.

You sound like you are in a lot of pain. If you do not get a good therapist to help you deal with these issues, it will be difficult for you to proceed with the spiritual search. I recommend that, immediately.

Are not questions words? All words are distortions, both right and wrong. There is a dialectic that moves the seeker across the conversation to the truth. For mature minds silence is teaching enough. Everyone else needs words and ideas. You might learn more about Zen, however. Its style might be more to your taste.

Ramana Maharshi's self-inquiry is just the newest name for that process of looking inward that started at least thousands of years ago, and perhaps even earlier, who knows... there is no answer, because the real first teacher of self-inquiry is God, if anyone.

So are you trying the steps that I've suggested many times? And if so, which ones? And if not -- it's ok -- but why not?

Why do you think you are thinking that way? No one else can give you these answers. Time to start looking inward.

Why would they be obstacles? Whatever commands the mind to look within when it will, commands it to look without first. You cannot find the truth in the place you expect it to be, of course. That's why it's called inquiry. Inquiry leads you to the place you do not recognize because it's so obvious. If there is a seeker, there is a benefit, because good ideas are required for the mind to kill the bad ideas. When good ideas kill bad ideas, the mind eventually will be able to hop beyond ideas entirely. That's what the use of this thread is. But of course all that is said for seekers. When the seeker becomes a finder, it will turn out there was no seeker.

I suggest you look into your true nature, of course. That is the most healing thing you can do for yourself and for others. Here are my general guidelines and here's how to do self-inquiry.

You will learn to accept all the parts of yourself that you don't otherwise accept. And when you do that, your mind will be calmer. And a calm mind is the main thing you need for an effective spiritual search. It feels to them like choice but is really the latter.

Yes, that's one way -- silence. The other is by trying to tell it indirectly. Not give them up exactly, but understand and examine those patterns. It takes time and effort. No, those who are ready to turn inwards will do so, shiny ideas or not.

We're taught that growing up.

There are those who need the "shiny ideas" "without" first in order to look "within." It sounds like that may be your situation.

There's no simple answer to that question. At a practical level, it's about being in touch with your emotions, needs, and desires, first of all -- being honest about that. That is a discovery process that takes paying attention to your feelings without judgment, and seeing how they change when you do different things in the world. Therapy and expressive writing/art can help a lot with this too. Then you try to communicate these to the other person in a gentle, nonjudgmental way, and try to listen to their needs and feelings. This is a process that benefits you both, and will hopefully lead to a situation where you can both self-preserve and help others. But ultimately the only answer to this question is to ask who is the self that needs to be preserved? And that will tell you who these others are too. If I understand you correctly and it was a peaceful state you could maintain with your eyes open, then yes, it was an experience of your true self, yes. That actually is enlightenment, only you don't realize it, because your mind keeps drawing you back to your normal identity. Because of that, what is actually enlightenment seems just like a "glimpse." If you kept revisiting that glimpse over and over again, eventually something would 'click' and you would realize that the glimpse is simply who you are all the time, and that there is no way of leaving it. Today is a dark age of consciousness only if your consciousness is ignorant of its true nature. Who is asking this question? Meditate on that. You don't really need kundalini activation. Some people can find it useful, but it is not necessary. The truth is that you don't need someone else to give you shaktipat. The true shaktipat comes from inside you. All you need to do is educate yourself, calm your mind by being honest about what you want, and intensely inquire into who you are. Or else completely surrender and relax the mind -- accepting whatever comes, no matter what it is. Though this is actually harder than inquiry. You admit them to yourself without judging them as bad or evil. That itself is a big step that will help calm your mind.

Ask yourself who the "I" is who is looking for truth.

good idea!

Yes, these are very thoughtful concerns, but they won't aid your spiritual search. Inquire into the self, find your true nature, and then you can see what happens to these doubts. Yes, dreams are one of our states of consciousness. They happen because they are a way for our unconscious to process various things that we experienced in waking life. They can definitely be significant. Pay attention to how you feel in your dreams, and to the associations (that is, thoughts and feelings) you get when you think about the images and people that occurred in your dreams. These might be sending you a message about your unconscious emotions and desires. Psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapists are trained to help deal with dreams. Is today a dark age of consciousness? I'm not sure what you mean by that. Can you elaborate?

I did respond to it. Remember, I wrote: And then you said: And that was it.

Could be. You're free to take or leave my advice as you wish. Yes, to the mature mind capable of absorbing its meaning. I wasn't bothered by his words. I just wanted to know whether at some level he actually wanted guidance or not. Some people snipe and insult -- and that is their way of asking for help. Wonderful. Once you have had the grace of touching it once, you will be drawn to touch it again and again.

I do believe that. Do you actually want guidance, or do you just want to ask more questions like this?

98.9%

You're welcome. There are many theories. Science says it's "source amnesia" -- you were in a similar situation but don't remember it. Eastern religions say it's some karmic connection. From the enlightenment standpoint, it is a reminder that there is a deep mystery in yourself. You've been here before, because you are beyond time and space... Yup... You're not here What caused me the most confusion is not realizing the importance of psychology and the fact that each person's path is ultimately quite personal. Without being honest about what we want we cannot get anywhere. So what helped me the most was realizing that and trying to become honest about my desires through a combination of therapy, expressive writing about my emotions, and trying things in the world and observing my feelings, and then admitting more and more to myself what I really wanted.

The higher self already knows its nature, actually. The mind is simply slowly undoing its own ignorance. The sunlight (higher self) has already been there. You are simply slowly opening the blinds. Yes. So if you realize this, best to ask then -- "If all of this is out of my control, who am I really?" That is self-inquiry. Or else to simply relax and let it all happen. That's surrender.

Mind works because of karma. It is trying to fulfill desires, desires which are based on its identity -- that is, its idea of itself. Sure they do -- again, in the relative context.

Sure, it does, if you accept the existence of the mind, which I admit for the sake of seekers. But the mind doesn’t really exist.