Kuba

I always loved all art forms(music, movies, books etc.) but since I started meditating I started to have one question in my mind-"Is art really needed for us?" I started to have doubts about it, for instance, when I watch a movie I think that the whole production of this movie costed many hundreds of thousands, or millions of dollars.. and then I think that this money could be donated to help some poor societies in need. Also, when I read a book I start to think about trees that were cut down in order to make this book happen. I never had these types of thoughts but since I do more and more meditation I start to think about these things. I start to become independent of many things, such as art(which I always loved). I don't know.. what do you think about it? PS. I still like listening to music and watching a movies, but I just have these doubts and I don't know what to do with them

I day dream a loooooot since elementary school and just recently I started to notice how it doesn't allow me to be fully present and happy. I day dream mainly about me (or rather, about my cool-funny-ultra social self ) Today is the first day when I decided to really take action. If i'll have urge to daydream again I will notice it and just let it go, I know that it probably will be hard because my mind got accustomed to daydreaming through all these years but nevertheless I'm optimistic about it . http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/yes-you-can-cure-yourself-from-maladaptive-daydreaming here's an interesting text that might help you

just a week ago I watched some scary shit on youtube and for 2-3 days I was thinking mostly about this, I was really nervous. And then I recalled that these are only thoughts, and they should be only observed, not judged . Meditation is definitely a good option when it comes to dealing with situations like the one you described, but I would also recommend just doing what you like to do, watch something you would like to watch, read something you like, something that makes you calm, happy, etc. I hope it will help! Also, I think that videos like these will help.

maybe this video will help

I would suggest to become more aware of how you are creating this problem. You said "irrational fear" so you know that this fear doesn't make sense. You need to become aware that it's all in your head. Besides that, if yo wake up in the middle of the night and you have this fear, maybe you should focus on something positive and stop imagining some fearful thoughts. You need to tell to yourself that it's your room and you are safe here. Start to become aware of your fear Plus, if it doesn't help maybe you should take advice from a psychologist, but I think you are capable of curing it on your own, I hope everything will be fine, good luck!

thanks for your thoughts about it guys. I guess fear on this journey is inevitable

@cetus56 I see your point but.. there are many benefits other than enlightenment that you can gain from meditation although good analogy with the boat and I don't say that I'll never pursue enlightenment, I just think that right now there are many things going on in my life and maybe it's not the best time for such a dramatic change.

Am I the only one that starts to be scared when they have profound insights about the ego? I don't really pursuit enlightenment, I don't do self-inquiry or other method to become enlightened. I meditate for a year now, and sometimes when I start to think about the ego, especially when I'm sad I ask myself "who is sad" or something like this, and at times something "hits" me so strong to the point when I don't even think about it but feel something weird, like I'm starting to be detached from ego. Then I quickly come back to my mind and try to distract myself with something, because to be honest there are many changes right now in my life and I'm afraid of any 'enlightenment' experience. I know it's just the ego defending itself but like I said before, I don't think I'm ready for that right now. I just wanted to share it with you guys, have you had something similar to this?

What are your thoughts about this book? I think it's a great book. The only thing that I didn't like about it were all those "spiritual" beliefs like Collective conciousness, The energy fields etc. I think it only distracts you from the main thing - and that is to be always present. Plus, In my opinion it can discourage someone who isn't familiar with true spirituality and someone can quickly classify it as another "new age nonsense". What is your view on it?

@Ivansmarks you know what? I think everyone has some sort of weird thoughts and it shouldn't be scary, because they are just thoughts. To be honest, sometimes there are really crazy thoughts in my mind(especially in night), just like in your case, when I let my mind loose it often leads to crazy, abstract or even murder scenes, and once I was really terrified by that and couldn't sleep,I used to ask myself questions like: am I evil person? but then I realised that these are ONLY thoughts and you have a control over them, not the opposite . Next time when you will have thoughts like these, just try to be aware of them and just let them be, like in "Do nothing" meditation, you just let your mind do whatever it wants to do. I hope it will help you to sleep with no light.

You started meditating, that's good because it should help with distractions. To me, I had very similar problem(maybe not to this extent but reaaaly close ), and what helped me is being aware of these made up conversations everytime they pop up. Everytime this distracting thought arises, you notice it, and try to tell yourself that it's not real, it's only imagination. It will be hard because your mind got used to these thoughts( I know from my experience that it's not easy). I still have thoughts like these but I try to be aware that they are not real and they won't help me in anything in life. Also, you should start to love yourself as you are, because these thoughts often are result of bad self-esteem. Start to love yourself and all your flaws. Wish you luck!

@whuddafuksMaaaan, I have exactly the same problem! I always make up stories in my mind just how you described it. I'm just glad that I'm not alone . In my opinion, being aware of it and meditation should really help with it. I still have these thoughts sometimes but I try to be aware that they're not real. Also, like @MartineF mentioned, it's good to ask yourself these questions (why do you want to impress someone? etc.) I think the fact that you notice it is a part of success

When it comes to nursing home, my mom thinks there would be financial problems with this. I just graduated high school and my cousin has a job for me in England so I think I'm going to work there and help my mom financially how much I can. For now, I try to help her with houseworks and calm her. People with dementia tend to not really be aware of many things and they often don't understand they hurt other people, so I told my mom not to argue with my grandmother because it won't result in anything good. It's hard for her because my grandma everyday looks for a reason to quarrel. But my mom tries to understand that grandmother is somewhat mentally ill. Some days she really copes with it and it's fine. Thank you for your response, I appreciate it . Any more suggestions anyone?