SelfHelpGuy

Really fascinating. Very lovely.

@Tefikos it’s love. I want to feel love. Food gives me that. and it’s heartbreaking because I know need to let it go ;(

@amanen Thank you. Btw your trip report on the Galaxy scale love was so beautiful and I use this as a reference for people when I’m trying to explain my own journey and where I want to get to. I’m so glad to of discovered it and I’m very grateful.

@mmKayThank you so much for the thoughtful reply. I’ll do just this.

@UnbornTao thank you yes.

@Leo Gura I understand.

I am in love with food. Food to me is literally love in physical form. When I get told to do what I love, I find myself using this as license to go to the shop and buy, big baguette sandwiches, slabs of chocolates, chewy strawberry candy, milkshake, Cadbury layer pots, paprika crisps- maybe even more. there’s not many things I’m sure of in life, but I can tell you now, I am in love with eating all of these things above. (Eating in general) When I do it and my body feels no repercussions it’s absolutely heaven for me. However, I am starting to notice how it’s getting pretty difficult for my heart and will have to sometimes spit out the food in my mouth since I intuit something isn’t so good inside. I’ve ingeniously self deceived myself recently that with discovering so much more about consciousness capabilities that surely it could be possible to almost reprogram my mind and body inorder to withstand junk food (almost like some skill that can be developed) - I’ve genuinely believed this for a little bit and have been on quite the binge. It’s very tricky because honestly when I’m eating and nothing goes wrong, I can honestly say that this is a life I love. I absolutely love it. Having my favourite foods, weed, psychedelics, girls, music, expressing myself, guitar, pizza, nights out, takeaways, tv shows- this is the life I love. 1. Do you think it is possible to continue live like this and develop some kind of resistance to the food or is that totally delusional and tightly in the grasp of self deception? 2. How does one do what one loves when what one loves is junk food? Help is much appreciated

Why is this the case?

@Lila9 Thank you Lila. I like that perspective. I currently work as a cashier (both for spiritual practice and money) So I’m encountering 100s of people a week and when I’m grumpy I find this hard to reveal to others.

@JohnD my intuition says just do what feels right in each and every new moment

I’m struggling with authenticity. What if authentically i am grumpy. but i authentically don’t want to bring the mood down when I’m around people so I try to have a more open and kind expression (when if I was alone I would allow my grumpy expression to remain and maybe make a groan or two) What if I genuinely don’t care what someone is talking about and feel no connection to them, but since it would be mean to express such a thing and likely hurt them, I try to seem interested, I make some sort of conversation. Which path of authenticity does one take? On the one hand I want people to feel welcomed in my presence, but on the other I just feel fed up with pretending and wish to let go and have my authentic slightly frustrated expression. I don’t know what to do and I want to cry

Hey, So I’m extracting some toad venom and here’s what’s happened. I took one toad (Ninja) and placed him in a big tub, I got a glass dish and proceeded to try and gently squeeze his neck glands into the dish. I don’t know if I got any this way. As I was scratching by head with how to do this, he was hopping around the tub quite a lot and I could tell he was quite scared. (I’m sorry ninja!) He definitely was secreting venom and although I don’t think I was successful in getting any in the dish, I did notice a liquid build up in the tub after I had put him back. something in me was called to collect this liquid and place it into the dish and start dehydrating it. to my surprise- there are now crystals forming. it would seem that there was a fair amount of venom in that liquid. my only worry is: It does smell a little “pooy/weey” and I’m pretty sure this liquid was not only venom but also the toads general slime, it’s other liquids on it etc etc. I know that asking “is it safe to take this” may be a silly thing to ask since to do 5meo in general is no joke and there’s of course risk involved anyway. But what do you guys think, should I give this a try or try figuring out a way to get purely the venom and nothing else? I imagine back in the tribal times they would have done it even if it had some of toads bodily liquids in it but I’m unsure ::://// any weigh ins? (p.s. I’ve never done 5meo and this would be my first experimentation)

You turn a song on via your computer, you plug headphones on and place the volume on almost full. You leave the headphones on your bed and standing above them you decently hear what's being played. As you start moving further away, it becomes fainter and fainter and fainter. There remains a quality of absolute beauty to the song at any of these volumes. The only difference being is as you approach closer to the music (and at this point place the headphones on your head) you increase the volume higher and higher - and then all of a sudden the song beautifully becomes more clear, rich, intense, crisp and magical. Imagine if you started turning up a song to the full capacity of which your ears could manage and then BANG- all of sudden your ears can start to manage increasing and increasing levels of this volume and it keeps on going, it keeps going, it keeps on going - the volume continues to increase indefinitely. The sound becomes even more deeply clear, rich, intense, crisp and magical. The song was technically the same all along, same tune, same lyrics, same singer, same band - buttt The volume to which you could hear it determines how clearly you hear that song. Same song at different volumes. / Same consciousness at different levels.

This made me so so so happy. I laughed so hard at moments as if I had a little piece of me remember what you’re talking of as if it’s my old forgotten home. Every fiber in me knows this is what I desire, what you spoke of, thank you for reminding me once more <3 I’ll see you there soon

@Leo Gura Yes, maybe best to surrender to it then ?