James123

Thank you very much my friend. ❤️ Imo, there is reason for my suffering. Without a reason, surrendering and accepting becomes more difficult. Do you have any advice to surrender and accept what happened, rather than god?

Yeah man. You are right. Being honest to yourself is most important thing to do. Moreover, what I recognize is death or enlightenment is easy, fucking life terrifies me. It feels like having a open heart surgery without any medication.

Sure brother. İ will try, thank you very much!!! I was diagnosed with MDD. Therefore, i have been on antidepressants for 3 years right now. I had a open heart surgery 10 years ago. Moreover, i actually do not hide anything, i am sharing all my weakest or strongest or "whatever it is" point with you guys.

Damn right. Thank you.

Of course!!! But i am trying to understand the best way of living, with all the problems, suffering, pain, etc... What can be the best path of living? Enlightenment or death is easy, but the life terrifies me.

We cant so anything brother. Thank you very much for your input. Thank you.

I am god, but God is nothing. Imo, Being humble, having a smooth and beautiful heart, and putting heads down makes you closer to nothing. Rumi says the same thing. Now I understand why they still prays 5 times a day, meditate, pray to god, asking for forgiveness to god, and putting heads down. What do you think?

Definitely right. I am the weakest human being in front of god. After this, i will call myself "poor james". Can we change my nickname from james123 to "Poor james"?

Great, amazing. Thank you very much brother!!!

@Someone here thank you very much brother. İ really do appreciate. İ am taking Wellbutrin (300 mg) and abizol (10mg) at the total for per day.

@Leo Gura what do you think about my situation? Do you think that i am fucked up in the head?

Great answer, thank you. İ have a heart condition and had a open heart surgery 10 years ago. İ think, i suppressed many emotions and feelings there. Moreover, i consumed lots of weed, pychedelics and other drugs, which destroyed my emotions and thinking process. Even if , i recognize that i am nothing. The life is going very though for me. Do you have any other suggestions about having a kid or being a parent?

Thank you very much brother. İ really appreciate. Moreover, i am very happy for you and your kids and your family. But, it is not dark night soul imo. Because, i have realize that nothing is under my control. Therefore, the situation leads to be surrender every moment in order to not the suffer again. Anything can happen anytime, isn't it? Or am I making the situation big deal? What do you think about it?

Thank you very much for your input brother. However, i am already under antidepressants. Moreover, it is not dark not soul imo. İmo it is putting and surrendering the everything to god, which is real me. But doing this is so difficult, isn't it? Can you surrender every moment? İ can, but / therefore no personal emotion left. What do you think about this?

We just discovered at the doctor that my son has a tachycardia. An his situation is critical, he is in icu. i couldn't surrender. The pain was too much for me, finally i surrender and fuck, i lost my all humanly / worldly emotions. I am completely empty. I can't even say what should I do. Fuck man completely empty again. The pain hurts so much, on my chest and in my chest, something is breaking my bones. This pain is thousand times heavier than ego death. Believe me, All bad pychedelics trips or ego deaths are bullshit. İ have no choice but / except / only surrender. Please pray for my son.

Thank you very much!!!! Thank you very much brother!!!

Thank you very much for all the wishes guys. İ love you all my friends.

As death, birth is unbelievable. Literally unbelievable. I saw the ego comes alive, it is crazy same as death. I am feeling same as psychedelic breakthrough.

Before, you think of this, you must realize everything and everyone is you.

Of course, including myself... Thank you very much brother 😊 amazing to hear literally amazing. I am so happy for you.

It is actually my ego, because I am imagining his birth and ego. I am mentioning that dream within the dream.

Thank you very much for your good wishes 🙏 🙏 But, it is the way of starting to the ego. If there is no birth, how come ego can ve created? I mean it is the begging of the ego or how ego will be developed.

Guys, thank you very much for your good wishes. I want to say this again; Ego is not something bad, it is something do beautiful and pure. That's why we are so called born. That's why illusion is still an illusion. Because it is pure beauty. That's what I have discovered. Anything and everything is pure beauty. That's all.

Lmfao. You are damn right. Lolll.

Thank you very much for your good wishes. I hope so too. I have nothing to offer except love.