zoey101

*blush* lol you guys are sweet. Honestly though, I haven't felt this excited about learning something in a long time. I definitely don't understand all of this stuff, but it's pretty interesting. I want to understand it all but I know that's gonna take probably years to do.. Although I am pretty impatient lol one of my "ego" characteristics I suppose

That's about the long and short of it, I think. The best example I can think to describe it is that Hope implies joyful expectations. Ex. "I hope I make it out of this hardship" While Faith, as Amilaer said, is just purely believing in it. Ex. "I have faith that I will make it out of this hardship" Do you hear the difference when you say it? The second one sounds more sure of their ability to make it through, while the first is really wanting it, but doesn't sound sure it will actually happen, if that makes sense. Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, being convinced of what we do not see.

Goodness... I feel like I kind of understand it but wow is it overwhelming! I have always been interested in seeing what these do, but I fear trying because I really don't want to know what a bad trip is like. First of all, can't believe you commented on my thread! Thank you! I will admit, it's a bit intimidating. I'm having just a little trouble wrapping my mind around this not sure what question to ask to better understand it... I think I get this. It's like how even despite all parts of the world being totally isolated when they were developing their own mythologies and such, you still see instances like Prometheus (Greek), Maui (Polynesian), and Loki (Norse) stealing fire for humanity? I think I can see that. The only reason the name for anything exists is because we decided that's what we were gonna call it. So is the thinking process supposed to be that it only "exists" because we assigned a name to it, but if we recognize that the name is just a concept, then..... <-- and that's where I lose it I'm glad I understood even just one part of this lol Is this kind of like: He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, move from here to there, and it will move and nothing will be impossible for you.” ~ Matthew 17:20 ESV As in, until you are one with the Spirit, you won't be able to see or experience what the universe is holding beyond our flesh?

Yeah... Definitely confused... Idk why it won't click

And I'm lost again... Shit...

Oh my God, I think I actually understood all of that! I actually kinda feel excited, which has honestly not happened in a while. So it's all about just kinda putting yourself into a positive and proactive mindset, even if shit is going straight up awful, and just holding on to that and allowing your overall attitude and outlook to be affected and changed to positive. Then your attitude and Outlook could positively affect your life, then others (so on and so forth) in basically a trickle down effect?

Ok, I'll look into it! thank you

What? crap... now I'm really lost... I'm just making myself feel dumber and dumber...

Just take a deep breath. If you feel like you need to turn your brain off for a bit to recover, then do so. Don't try to rush and push yourself. I can't imagine that is good for your current mental state... Maybe go for a run/walk to clear your head and enjoy some fresh air. Go for a swim, just get out for a bit. Can't hurt, right?

so its basically like figuring out what you want, believing it'll happen, and then just waiting for the universe to somehow intervene and make it happen? That's so confusing... We have to take action to achieve what we want, right? or is this supposed to be 100% internal and not external in any way? and where do the Koans fit into all of that? is that a separate version of meditation? I'm sorry if I sound dumb... I've just never really tried to look into this stuff before and now that I am, I feel like I am not getting it at all...

Agreed. Just be very careful.. Wherever you decide to do this, you need to keep your guard up. My husband always suggests that I keep pepper spray with me. It's great to have and might help you feel a little more confident when you're with him. Keep it hidden but accessable. Good luck!

That sounds so selfish though....

On the outside, my life seems pretty normal and things honestly couldn't be any better. I have an amazing new job, my husband got a raise at his job, my daughter is growing healthy and happy. I am working on getting more involved at my Church and I am always trying to find things to do with my family to be involved in our community and extended family. So why do I feel like all of these amazing, loving people are so far out of my reach? I don't have trouble socializing but I feel like I am just talking on auto pilot and watching from a foot away... My husband and daughter end up suffering the most for it. I come home from work and tell myself "okay, you're gonna engage!" and I try so hard to stay upbeat and listen, but I can't focus and I find my hearing going in and out, not physically, just that I only can catch parts of what is being said and I try to fill in the blanks myself to not be rude.. but my husband notices and I know it hurts him... My daughter is only 2 but she is such a mommy's girl. I love her so much and adore when she is so excited to see me, but just like with my husband, I lose the energy almost instantly and I feel like I'm gonna suffocate if she climbs all over me again... I don't like feeling this way... I know I love all of these people and I want to have a strong bond with everyone, like I did in the past, but I don't know what changed.. I just can't find the internal motivation to connect with these people anymore, no matter how desperate I am to.. What is wrong with me? I don't really know how to explain it.. and it sounds so crazy to me as I reread what I am typing... but this insanity is how I feel in my head everyday.. I can't figure out what to do.. and I am scared I will permanently hurt my family if I don't fix it...

I don't know... I know who I want to be.. I want to be able to handle this.. I want to engage again... I don't want to feel like everyone around me is out of my reach even when they are standing right in front of me... But it feels like I'm making it a chore... It shouldn't be this hard, right? I don't understand what changed in me... I just want to be myself again...

Dam.. get home from work today feeling pretty good and ready to try engaging again and I was doing alright for a while. But I started reading something on my phone and my husband gets really upset because he said he called my name like 4 times and I didn't even react... When I looked, my daughter was climbing on our glass TV stand... I didn't see or hear any of it... My husband got mad and took her to his mother's.... Said he would see me tomorrow after work... I sewar I didn't even hear him once... I just looked down at my phone and next thing I knew, I look up and he is furious and yelling about our daughter... What the fuck.... And now he took her.. he doesn't trust me with her now? ...what's wrong with me....

wasn't able to read all the posts, but personally I think the first step you need to take is giving women a little more credit than you currently are... Not all women are on Tinder nor are all women interested in fooling around. I agree with you that if they just want to fool around, they should be upfront about it. There are men into that kind of relationship. But if you want to find a good woman you need to be upfront as well. Don't go as far as telling her you're entire relationship goals list right off that back, that can be a little too intense for a new relationship. Just tell her that you are looking for something that will eventually grow into something more, maybe. And as for the trust part, you need to just go for it. My husband used to always say "Love is giving the other person all of the tools to hurt you, and believing they don't use them." Love hurts and is ugly, but you aren't giving yourself a chance if you just decide you're not going to open up for fear of being hurt. Sorry for rambling, hope this is helpful!

So beautifully put! I was personally raised in the church and thought I knew everything there was to know about the Bible and the stories, until I got hit with some realities. I feel really humbled by those experiences and feel I am a better Christian for them, even though those moments were the furthest from God I hopefully ever will be. I feel the most important thing I took away from it all was to be open minded and accepting of others view points and beliefs. Just because I don't agree, doesn't mean we can't have a deep spiritual conversation and learn from each other It's a tough subject to really master, but it is such a fun and enlightening ride (I hope I am using the word "enlightening" in the same context as you guys are)

Thank you, I don't get too much free time with a full time work week, church, and a baby.. but I will try when I can. I'm not used to all these meditation things. I feel like the only time, now, that I feel connected to anything is when I am singing at Church or alone with my thoughts. I feel like I am connected with the music and thoughts and I never have trouble getting really into them. I don't know how to explain it any other way, but I feel like I just ran out of fuel for my physical connections, but I can connect so easily to other things. That probably makes absolutely no sense though....

Please don't argue... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to post this to upset anyone..

Thank you, I'm sorry if I didn't sound receptive... I am listening and looking into it a little. I don't quite understand some of it, but I'm willing to try anything at this point...

I haven't read all the posts, and sorry for taking the opposition, but I think it's hard for me to NOT believe He exists. There are so many different scientific discoveries everyday and most will try to use this to disprove Him, but I feel like it just strengthens my beliefs. There are rules in Science and we discover so many new things everyday and it just leads us closer and closer to finding out that we don't know a thing one it comes to the universe and ALL its components and how they interact and/or effect each other. To me, that proves that there IS a greater being, or God, that made everything in and around us, and He was even loving enough to give us the thirst for knowledge to get just a peek into it all. I can't help but feel excited and passionate for Him. Something as simple as a leaf. There are so many cells in just that one leaf, every cell has it's separate purpose and function designed for the intake of Sunlight and Carbon Dioxide, while also being able to release Oxygen to sustain the living creatures all around it. This little leaf was CREATED and placed exactly where it is to contribute to the overall "Big Picture" Whether you believe God has His "Divine Plan" in place, with no options for deviation, or He is more like a "Clock worker God", He created the universe and everything in it with their rules and functions, then He "turned the clock on" and allowed the "gears" to move as they may and interact with each other however they wish. Sorry for rambling, just wanted to add another perspective.

Okay I will look into it.. thank you.

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:13 Be strong Karin! I don't know what your faith/beliefs are, but you were not created to suffer, you were created to overcome and use your experiences to help others do the same. I'm so sorry you have to even think about what to do in this situation. I couldn't fathom this.. But just pray and meditate on everything you have been told and God WILL lead you out of this. You will be made stronger once you stand up and end this pain.

I don't know.. I feel like I am well past all of that. I'm way better than all of that now, so why should it bother me now? you know...

I don't think so.. I mean, I've always had struggles, but who hasn't. I always felt like I came out stronger and closer to the people involved. Homelessness in middle school, drug abuse in high school, even had a time where I thought I wasn't worth too much and just slept around to feel cared for.. But once I made it past all of that and reconnected with my high school sweetheart, I was still able to connect on deep levels with people, especially my husband..